“Why… why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Gio gushed emotionally, as he clutched onto his chest.

“Why did you keep this to yourself?”

“It wasn’t like that, I promise,” I did my best to assure him.

“I wasn’t keeping it from you. I just… well, I didn’t really want to think of it, to be honest. Also, I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. I didn’t want you to think that I was saying it to force you into any kind of decision, you know?”

The more he put it off, the clearer it came in my mind that I was going to have to say something eventually. I just hated the way it crushed the both of us.

A moment ago, we had the world at our feet, now our hearts had been crushed into a vice. We wouldn’t have nearly enough time to work out where we wanted to go from here, which I hoped didn’t destroy us.

We were strong enough to go the whole way; we had what it took if we both wanted it. I just had to hope and pray that Gio wanted it as much as me.

He stood up and paced the room, his hand rested against his forehead the entire time. I didn’t like the distress across his expression, I hated that I was the one to put it there, but it would be okay in the end, wouldn’t it? I’d come back to make things easier, and yes it was now a whole lot harder, but it was better too. Happier, I hoped.

“Okay well, we’ll find a way, won’t we?” Gio finally turned to me and asked desperately. “We don’t have to end this again, just because you won’t be here. And you won’t be gone forever, will you?”

I joined him by standing up with him, and I pulled his body close to mine so I could embrace him wholly.

“We can do whatever we want to,” I assured him calmly.

“And no, of course it won’t be forever. I’ve been thinking about a change of career recently anyway, so who knows what will happen in the future.” I rested my forehead against his and gazed deeply into his eyes.

“All I know for sure is that as long as I have you with me, everything will be okay. As long as I have you here, nothing will matter.”

Gio climbed back onto the bed and hid his body under the sheets. He looked afraid, like a child scared of monsters creeping up from under the bed, which only made me want to hold him even tighter.

“Do you remember when we used to talk about traveling the world?” I changed the subject smoothly, whilst sidling in next to him. “When we’d discussed spending a year of our lives seeing Asia.”

“Yeah, I do recall that well,” Gio replied with a sad smile. “I could never wait to go to Japan. I always wanted to hang out on the colorful streets of Tokyo. Have you ever been?”

“Never, have you?” He shook his head.

“I’ll take you there sometime, okay?”

As his breathing became deeper, I couldn’t help but hope that my words would become the truth. I spoke them with such conviction, because I was so desperate for that to be the case. I just hoped that would come to fruition.

I loved this man in my arms, so fiercely that it could make me crack into a million pieces.

* * *

I held Gio’s face in my hands at the door, ready to make my move.

My cab was waiting for me, my backpack was slung over my shoulder, and I was all set to go. Well, physically. Mentally was a totally different thing.

“I’m going to miss you,” I whispered wearily as I held him. “But this has been amazing.”

“Oh God, you never should’ve come back,” Gio teased angrily, while brushing a tear away.

“It was so much easier before you got here.” He wrapped his hands around my waist to show me that he didn’t truly mean it.

“You take care of yourself, alright?”

“I can still text you, and ring you,” I told him with a sad smile. “It won’t be that hard.”

“You’ll write me letters too,” Gio nodded slowly.

“I’m going to need love letters, the old fashioned way, to get me through this. I want to know how you are, what you’re doing – except the classified stuff, of course.” He said.

I had to laugh at his impression of my job. He seemed to have the idea that I was some kind of spy. “And obviously how much you wish you were still here with me.”

“I will wish that,” I told him earnestly.

“All the time, but I’ll be back before you know it. You won’t even notice that I’m gone.”

The cab honked the horn for what felt like the millionth time.

“I suppose I really had better get going. Say thanks to Max and Bryant for me; they’ve been lifesavers in among all of this.”

If it hadn’t been for them, there was no way I could’ve stuck around to make this right between me and Gio, and I would always be grateful to them for that.

I pressed my lips up against Gio’s, doing my best to convey the depth of my feelings with my mouth. Chemistry circled us, bonding us tightly together, as mini fireworks exploded in my chest. My heart warmed up, and my chest expanded. Gio’s love filled me in the way that I hope I was doing to him too.

“I love you,” Gio gasped finally. “So, so much.”

“And I love you too.”

With that, I really did have to leave, so I tore myself away and I made myself get into that cab. Everything inside of me was resisting. I wanted to stay, but of course I couldn’t. It wasn’t that simple at the moment, but it would be, I was going to make sure of that.

The driver pulled the car away, and I waved a sad goodbye to the man that I loved, but it was a happy moment too because we had each other now. This wasn’t me running away and leaving my great love behind. This time I was taking a piece of Gio with me, and it was a bit of him that I wouldn’t give up no matter what.

We would make this work.