Chapter Thirteen
ON THEIR WAY back from his grandparents’ house on Thanksgiving, the Davidsons’ car broke down.
It became quite an adventure, calling Dick’s brother to get a ride back to the house and arranging a tow. When it was clear on Friday the car wouldn’t be fixed until the following week, however, things got interesting. How was Kelly going to get back to school?
“We still have my Datsun,” Dick reminded them as they sat around the table brainstorming.
“Yes, but then Lisa and I won’t have a car until you get back. And she has that church thing on Sunday afternoon,” Sue reminded him.
“Can’t we get her a ride?”
Lisa looked mortified. “We’re delivering baked goods people ordered for the fundraiser.”
“Surely they’ll understand the circumstances,” Dick said.
“Can the truck even get to Illinois?” Kelly hoped not. He wasn’t excited about being crammed into the tiny cab with his stuff flying loose in the back end.
“We could rent a car,” Sue suggested.
Kelly shook his head. “I might as well fly, for the expense.”
“But are there any flights because of the holiday?” Sue pressed. “And didn’t you tell me the airport was an hour away from Hope?”
It was. Kelly bit his lip. “I could ask if Walter minded picking me up.”
“That’s an awfully big inconvenience.”
“I don’t think he’d mind.” Kelly was pretty sure of that, despite their weird parting. He was starting to root for this idea. How fun would it be to ride back with Walter, even part of the way?
Dick frowned and fussed with his laptop a few minutes before looking up. “Didn’t you say your roommate lived in Chicago?”
“A suburb. Why?”
Dick turned the laptop around to show some airline listings. “There’s a red-eye on Sunday morning from Minneapolis to O’Hare. Four hundred dollars.”
It was a lot for such a short flight, but it would be only slightly more than renting a car, and that didn’t include gas and hotel and the general pain in the ass that was driving all the way to Danby and back again. It would also mean seeing Walter earlier and riding back to campus with him—all the way, at least from Chicago. The idea had Kelly both excited and anxious.
Sue looked doubtful. “I don’t know. It seems terribly presumptuous.”
“How?” Dick asked. “It’s not out of his way, one assumes. And then he’d have someone to share gas.”
“O’Hare is a big airport. I don’t care for the idea of Kelly there on his own.”
Kelly balked. “Mom. Seriously.”
“Sue, I think you’re being a little overprotective,” Dick said.
Sue sighed. “I probably am. But I still don’t like this. I wish they could fix the car so it wasn’t an issue.”
They couldn’t fix the car, though, and the flight to Chicago was the only solution they could come up with. Kelly was charged with calling Walter to make sure the arrangement would be acceptable. He took his ring off and played with it in his palm, trying to keep his nerves distracted as he dialed.
“Kelly!” Walter’s greeting was brighter and more eager than Kelly would have predicted, and it made the butterflies the call had stirred do odd things inside him. “How’d your Mayberry Thanksgiving go?”
“It was good. Ate too much, fell asleep on the couch, played lots of board games with my cousins. You?”
“Ah.” The light went out of Walter’s voice. “It was okay.”
“Have you had a chance to see Cara yet?”
Walter cleared his throat. “No. We were supposed to do lunch tomorrow, but I think that’s getting ousted because of a wedding-prep thing.”
“I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to seeing her.”
“Well, I was never too attached. They’re trying to please everyone, so they have about eighty Thanksgiving dinners to attend. And she really does need to pin the location down. She’s left it way too long. This is supposed to be some scouting mission at a bed-and-breakfast. Or something. Honestly, I’m trying not to get involved.”
Something about the phone amplified Walter’s tone, parsing out the wry wit and revealing a hint of sadness underneath. Kelly wished his dad had found a ticket for Saturday instead so he could hang out with Walter. Had he even looked for one? Kelly turned his dad’s laptop around and tucked the phone against his shoulder so he could type as he talked. “So, I’m actually calling because I have a favor to ask.”
“Sure. What do you need, Red?”
Kelly’s heart flipped a little as he saw not only was there a flight on Saturday, but it was a late-afternoon one and a hundred dollars cheaper. He dug his fingernail into the edge of his ring, tracing the smooth stone. “Well, I was wondering if there was any way you could give me a ride back to Hope.” He explained about the cars and the idea to fly to Chicago. “If it doesn’t work, that’s okay,” he added as he finished.
“Of course it’ll work. I’d love to come pick you up. It’s a dead boring drive by myself. When do you fly in?”
God, Kelly’s heart was beating so fast. Why was he so nervous? “Well, that’s the thing. I can get a flight on Sunday morning getting in to O’Hare at 7:30. Or…or I can come in on Saturday. That one’s cheaper and comes in at five in the afternoon. But that would mean I’d need to crash at your place, and I don’t want to impose—”
“You should totally come on Saturday. Not only would we not have to get up at the crack of dawn, but we could go out that night. Or not. I mean, if you’d rather stay another day with your family—”
“No, that sounds like fun, going out with you.” Kelly’s cheeks went up in flames. “I mean—so if it’s okay to come Saturday, I’ll book that one.”
“Great. Text me the details, and I’ll be there to pick you up.”
Now the butterflies in Kelly’s stomach were doing backflips. Jesus, he needed to get himself under control. He hurriedly clicked through and booked the ticket, fumbling with his mom’s credit card. “Awesome. I will.”
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Walter sounded a lot brighter.
“Guess you will.” Kelly could feel the conversation closing off, and he found he didn’t want it to end. “Thanks. This is totally helping us out.”
“Me too.” Walter coughed. “I mean, it’ll be nice to have something to do Saturday, and company on the way back.”
“Yeah.” Kelly wished it were Saturday right now.
“Great.” A pause. “Well, I should probably let you go back to your family.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Kelly shifted his grip on the phone. “Okay. See you tomorrow?”
“It’s a date, Red.”
Kelly’s whole body was hot this time, and he kept the phone to his ear a moment even after the connection was dead, closing his eyes and savoring the words. Finally he laid the receiver on the table and headed to the kitchen to tell his parents about the change of plans.
AFTER THE PHONE call, Walter vacillated between feeling eager for Kelly’s arrival and anxious about it. On the one hand, simply thinking about seeing Kelly had him feeling happier, and the idea of a night in Boystown with him was so delightful it made his body hum.
On the other hand, having Kelly stay one night, even spending most of it out of the house, meant exposing him to the toxic-waste dump that was Walter’s family.
The house itself was pretty lethal too, the more Walter thought about it, and as he dwelled on the matter Friday night, he realized he needed to de-dust the place or risk having Kelly get sick. In fact, as he did a walk through with an allergen/asthmatic eye, it became quite clear what he was going to be doing for the next twenty-four hours. The nice part was he knew exactly how to proceed from living with Kelly for almost three months. After scanning his mom’s cleaning supplies, he made a Target run and started in.
First order of business was his room. It was the only place Kelly could sleep, because the spare bedroom had become catch-all for Walter’s mom’s home businesses, much of which had been doing nothing but collecting dust. Walter figured he’d sleep in there, so he’d keep the door closed after doing a cursory clean.
Next was the bathroom he shared with Tibby and the bathrooms off the kitchen and family room in the basement. Theoretically they were mostly clean, but Walter wanted them to look decent, plus he remembered there was a mold thing too. He did a thorough job on the toilet rims, the faucets, and the grout.
After that, Walter felt slightly lost. His mom had a cleaning service, so he’d expected the main rooms to be good, but when he did a deep-clean check he realized things weren’t remotely close. Sure, the oven knobs gleamed in the kitchen, but the curtains in the living and dining room were so full of dust even Walter sneezed when he shook them. Same for the top of the china cabinet. When he checked the HEPA filter on the vacuum, he about gagged. He wrote down the number on the part and went out to the stores again, but it took him three tries to find the right one. He very nearly bought a brand-new vacuum, but that felt excessive. It was just one night.
Still. He wanted it to be a good night.
Walter clipped on the attachments to the vacuum and got to work. He wasn’t sure suctioning off the curtains would do much good, but the alternative seemed to be hauling them to the dry cleaners—which he considered but dismissed because he worried they wouldn’t be done until he had gone back to school. His mom was giving him odd looks enough as it was.
She came into the dining room as he climbed down from wiping off the top of the china cabinet, hands on her hips. “Walter, what are you doing?”
“Cleaning.” He shifted the stool and climbed up again so he could get the tops of a few picture frames, though he wondered if he should take them down and wipe the whole business off. “I know you have a service, but this dust-mite thing is serious. And honestly, given how much grit I’ve been finding, I think you should try a different company.”
His mom almost looked ready to laugh. “Walter, he’s here for one night.”
“I know. But I’ll feel like shit if he has an attack, and it doesn’t take much of this stuff to set it off.” He glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. “Besides, you want to try to tell me you’re annoyed at having free housecleaning?”
This time she did laugh, and the smile lingered in her eyes as she spoke. “No.” She brushed off her hands and put them on her hips. “Okay, give me a minute to change, and I’ll help.”
Walter paused with his rag on the top of the frame. “Mom, you don’t have to do that.”
“You trying to tell me you want to do this all by yourself?”
She was still smiling, sort of. She looked almost eager. Walter felt something heavy inside him shift. “No. I’d love your help. Thanks.”
“Give me ten minutes.”
It took her fifteen, but once she came down in sweats and a T-shirt, she was all business. Walter explained the dust-mite rules: they lived in cloth and carpet, loved humidity. “Don’t shampoo the carpets. They love that, apparently.”
“So his family has to keep their house that clean all the time? Good God, that sounds horrible.”
“Yeah.” Walter swiped a dust mitt around some knickknacks. “He’s got a pile of allergies. Milk and egg too.”
His mom paused with a damp cloth on the wall. “I don’t even know how to cook without eggs.”
“There’s a replacer, but he says flax eggs are better. Don’t worry, we’ll be gone before lunch, and I want to take him to Pie Hole Pizza Saturday night. So oatmeal for breakfast and we’re set. I already got him some soy milk.”
Shari went back to wiping down the wall, but she had a soft smile on her face. “You take good care of your roommate.”
“He’s the best. I can’t imagine having to room with anyone else.” He scrubbed slowly at the face of a china figurine. “Rooming with him is better than Cara, even.”
His mom stopped wiping again. “Walter, are you…?” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
Walter set the figurine carefully back on the shelf. “He’s shy and quiet and a little naive. I guess I get focused on making sure he’s okay. He has this look about him. It would break your heart to see him sad.”
“Is he cute?”
That question was a landmine, but there was something so lulling about the conversation. He couldn’t think of the last time his mom had been this interested in his life. Middle school, maybe? It made Walter hungry for more. “Yeah. Like a button.”
His mom just kept smiling. “Straight, I suppose?”
“Gay. But we’re not dating.”
“It sure sounds as if you should.”
Okay, now the conversation was getting uncomfortable. Walter reached for the expandable duster to get the chandelier. “Don’t want to screw anything up.”
“I suppose.” Shari dropped her rag into the bucket and frowned at it. “Not that you should take relationship advice from me.”
Walter put down the duster. “Dad’s the asshole who left.”
No more smiles now. He dared a longer glance and saw the clouds had returned to his mother’s face. How pathetic was he that he ached over the loss. What, he’d thought ten minutes of small talk about Kelly would fix everything?
Stupid.
Shari put the bucket on the table and pursed her lips as she reached for the vacuum. When she fired it up, Walter went back to his duster job, and when she finished, he didn’t bring up his father again.
Things got lighter when they moved to the living room, but it was getting late so they quit after that. Tibby came home from a Pony Club meeting and found the two of them covered in dirt and grinning as they recapped their cleaning adventures—the look of wariness on his sister’s face reminded Walter that happiness in this house was an unusual thing. He decided he wanted more of it. Especially when Kelly arrived.
When he woke the next morning, it was to something unusual: the smell of something cooking. Something really good cooking. His mom was making vegan pancakes.
She was frowning over her iPad when Walter walked in. “Smells great.”
“Hey, you. Thanks.” She poked at the screen. “So, I liked this first batch I made, but wondered about this one with honey. It wants flax milk, though. I had no idea there was such a thing. I wonder if soy would be fine?” She glanced up at Walter. “Does he eat meat?”
“Some. His mom’s vegetarian, so they do vegan most of the time when he’s home, but I’ve seen him pack away pig. I’ll eat it, in any event.”
“Bacon it is. And hash browns.” She smiled, but there were shadows again. “This will be fun. And much better than oatmeal.”
Walter took the plate of pancakes she handed him and poured on the syrup. “Damn. These are great.”
“I know. But I really am curious about the honey. And I feel kind of gross making vegan pancakes with cheap crap sugar. Whole Foods would have—” She cut herself off, and the dark clouds returned in full to her face.
God, it was sad how desperate Walter was to chase them away again.
“I’ll go out and find maple syrup and flax milk,” Walter volunteered. “Anything else you want me to get while I’m there?”
“I’ll make a list.” Shari stroked his face, some of her shadows lifting. “I miss you when you’re not home, honey.”
I miss you too. Especially this you. “Maybe I can talk Kelly into visiting over Christmas break, and we could try out all kinds of crazy recipes together.”
“Maybe.” Shari’s smile came back, small but present, and she nudged him with her elbow. “Eat your pancakes.”
WHEN KELLY LANDED at O’Hare, it was complete chaos. He was pretty sure he’d feel like a BB in an oven even without the holiday travelers making things worse, but right now he was all about survival. The hallways were narrow despite the vaulted glass atrium ceiling above. Would it have killed them to make the ceiling shorter and the walkways wider?
Someone wearing too much perfume walked past Kelly, and he felt his lungs yearn to contract. Oh, that’s all he needed—an attack on top of it all.
His phone began to sing to him, and he pulled it out of his pockets with shaking hands.
It says you’ve landed. I’m right here at the security exit.
Kelly’s entire body sagged in relief. All he had to do was get to Walter. He texted back.
On my way. Way too many people and too much perfume.
Though Kelly knew he should have started walking, he lingered against the wall, hoping for an answering text. He didn’t have to wait long.
I’m not far. You’re on one side or the other of a Y. Where it meets, head straight until you get to the public area, and there I am.
Kelly felt equal parts ridiculous for being such a ninny and relieved that it was Walter he was heading for.
Okay. Be right there.
Putting away his phone, he gripped the handle of his carry-on and joined the herd heading for baggage claim. Walter’s directions helped, and it really was that easy. Soon he was moving through the gauntlet leading out of the secured area. His heart beat faster as he searched for Walter. He tried not to let his eagerness show, tried not to give away how he’d spent the last day being equal parts nervous and excited.
When he saw the familiar shock of dark hair, however, he couldn’t help breaking out into a grin. When Walter grinned back, his usual sly, I’m-causing-trouble smile, Kelly’s heart soared a little. Walter wore a black leather jacket he’d never worn at school. He looked good. Really good.
“Hey, Red.” Walter had his thumbs looped at the edges of his pockets, but his body posture opened as he came up to Kelly. “Good to see you.”
“Same.” Kelly knew he was flushed, but he tried to brush it off. “Crazy in here.”
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.” Walter’s hand fell on Kelly’s upper back as they walked. “You have a bag checked?”
God, that hand felt good. “No. Mom saw the fees on the bags and said she’d ship everything. Though that means half this carry-on is meal bars.”
“Because you can wait for clothes, but not food.” Walter massaged the center of Kelly’s back briefly and let his hand fall away. Kelly tried not to feel bereft. “Car’s not far. I got lucky with my spot.”
“Was it a long drive?”
“This is Chicago. Everything’s a long drive.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
Walter rolled his eyes and grinned before punching Kelly lightly in the shoulder. “Red, Red. I didn’t know I could miss you so much in three days.”
Their eyes met, and Kelly could see Walter hadn’t meant to say that, not that way—but there were shadows in his countenance that made something deep inside Kelly resonate. I missed you too, he wanted to say, but instinct told him that would be a bad idea. He couldn’t think of how to lighten the moment, though, so he changed the subject. “I’m starving. Want to find dinner on the way back? My treat.”
“Oh no. I have plans for our dinner. But it’ll be a while, so we should find you a snack.”
Kelly grimaced at the airport chaos around him. “Not here. Airports and airplanes never have food I can eat.”
“What do you feel like?”
“A seven-course meal. I’m starved.”
“Well, if you can wait a couple of hours, there’s the best pizza you’ll ever have in your life. Totally Kelly legal.”
Kelly’s stomach rumbled. He pressed his free hand against it. “Can we go now?”
Walter laughed. “No. We have to stop at the house, get dressed for the night, and then we’ll head out.” He frowned. “Unless you’d rather stay in.”
Something told Kelly Walter really wanted to go out. To be honest, Kelly did a little too. Going out with Walter sounded fun. Not that he didn’t do it all the time, but this was Chicago. “No, I’ll just have a meal bar to tide me over. Where are we going? Downtown?”
“Boystown, baby. Local gay mecca. I think you’ll enjoy it. Besides, how can we not?”
“They really called a section of Chicago Boystown?”
“The neighborhood is called Lakeview, but the gay district is Boystown. Kind of like Liberty Avenue in Queer as Folk, except it’s North Halstead. And it’s real.”
Kelly had watched pirated clips of QAF in high school. It was good Liberty Avenue wasn’t real, because a few desperate times he’d thought about running away there. “It sounds great. Is there a diner too?”
“Probably, but not the same as the show. Pie Hole Pizza is there, though.”
Kelly’s stomach rumbled again. “Let’s get back to your place so we can go eat.”
He did steal a meal bar out of his bag before they stowed it in Walter’s hatchback, and he’d wolfed it down before Walter got the car started. Walter noticed and grinned.
“How about a big soy mocha on the way out? There’s a Starbucks before we hit 294.”
“You’re on.”
Walter bought their drinks, probably because he knew it would annoy Kelly. The drive back was pretty thick with traffic, both on and off the interstate, but according to Walter it wasn’t bad at all.
Kelly decided he would never live in Chicago.
Northbrook was nice, though it and Walter’s housing development pretty much screamed suburb. Wealthy suburb, he added as he noted the cars lining the drives and the level of decor in the yards. Everything felt like a competition of wealth, one Kelly couldn’t come close to matching.
“When I was little and we first moved in,” Walter said, “I used to be so afraid of getting lost in our neighborhood because all the houses were the same. It’s not as bad now, because it’s been twenty years and people have changed the color schemes and the foliage, but man, at first it was so Stepford it was creepy.”
It was pretty Stepford now. “They’re very nice houses.”
“Not really. Expensive and posturing, mostly.” Walter nodded to a blue house coming up on the left. “That’s us with the light on.”
Kelly couldn’t help but notice that Walter grew tense as they pulled into the driveway, and he became worse as they approached the door. Remembering Walter’s sarcastic comments about his broken family and the evasiveness he gave every time Kelly tried to ask about them, he wondered what he was about to walk in to.
It turned out to be a pretty normal house, if not more elegant than Kelly’s own home. It was meticulously clean, and he took his shoes off at the door when he saw the gleaming white tile.
“Oh, you could have left those on.” Walter grabbed the carry-on and motioned him toward the stairs. “Here, I put you in my room.”
“Walter?” A woman in her late fifties came around the corner into the living room. She looked slightly haggard, but she brightened when she saw Kelly. “You must be Kelly.” She came forward with her hand extended. “I’m Shari, Walter’s mom. Nice to meet you.”
Kelly shook her hand. “It’s a pleasure, Mrs. Lucas.”
Shari and Walter exchanged a quick glance. She smiled, but for some reason she seemed a little sad. “I know Walter has a big night planned for you two, so I won’t keep you. I have a pizza in the oven for Tibby and me, but let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” Kelly called out as he followed his suitcase to Walter’s room.
Walter’s room was, unsurprisingly, very Walter. The bed was a sleek double with a dark, modish headboard and footboard and matching end table and dresser. Posters—framed and mounted—decorated the walls, one of his favorite British band, Saint Etienne, one of the Scissor Sisters, and one that was some abstract art piece full of greens and browns. The room was incredibly clean, the same as the rest of the house.
Though now that Kelly thought about it, the house smelled incredibly clean. As in, someone had recently cleaned it.
He cast a sidelong look at Walter.
His roommate was busy setting Kelly’s suitcase on the bed and didn’t notice. “I’m in the guest bedroom down the hall, and I already took out whatever I’ll need, so I won’t bug you. Bathroom’s just across, and my sister’s staying over with a horse buddy, so nobody else will be using it. Mom’s bedroom is downstairs, and she has her own bathroom.” He turned to Kelly and rubbed his hands together. “Do you need anything to drink? Anything else to eat? We have apples and carrots and all that. I could make more coffee too.”
Walter was so hyped up Kelly feared what more caffeine would do to him. “I’m good.” He rubbed his arm, trying not to feel self-conscious. “I’ll change, and we can get going.”
“Okay.” Walter stood there a second, still looking like he was a jack-in-the-box ready to pop, then seemed to realize what he was doing and jerked to attention. “Right. I’ll get dressed too and meet you downstairs.”
He left.
Kelly sat on the bed and stared at the door for a few seconds, trying to work out what was going on.
Nothing was going on, he decided at last, and peeled off his shirt. Walter was being Walter. He knew after three months of living with him that this was how Walter rolled, taking care of people. Giving up his bedroom. Cleaning his whole house. After checking the pillowcase, Kelly knew that yes, Walter had bought dust-mite covers because Kelly was going to sleep in his bed for one night.
Sleep in his bed.
Kelly shut his eyes and moved away from the pillow. Alone. Sleep in his bed alone.
He got dressed with somewhat shaking hands, though, and he took extra care fixing his hair in Walter’s mirror. When he was done, he stared at his reflection for several seconds.
Somehow it felt huge, to be in Chicago with Walter. To be going out with him not at school because they were bored, but to Boystown because they were…friends. Because Walter wanted to show it to him. Because Walter wanted him to try some pizza place. Walter had gone out of his way to clean for Kelly. It sounded so benign, but it felt huge. All the fantasies Kelly had been quietly quashing since Tuesday came raging back, and this time he didn’t know how to keep them at bay.
“He isn’t going to date you,” he told his reflection. “This isn’t to woo you. It’s just Walter being Walter. Don’t fuck it up.”
He looked stern as he said it. He tried to carry his own warning with him as he walked down the stairs, but all it took was one look at Walter, who was still wearing his leather jacket but now sporting a tight black T-shirt and soft blue scarf to boot, and Kelly almost lost his knees.
He was going to fuck this up before the night was over. He’d be willing to bet money on it.