Chapter Twenty-Nine
WALTER COULDN’T DECIDE if the obligation of attending Cara’s wedding was an aggravation or a relief. The only thing he did know was that if it hadn’t been for Kelly, he wouldn’t have made it through.
Part of him noticed Kelly took up the role that Walter himself usually played, though of course he played it in a much more Kelly way. He engaged in cheerful patter with Walter’s mother and sister, keeping the peace so much that even Walter felt a little hopeful when his mother smiled at him, though he noticed Kelly made sure they only lingered in the house when absolutely necessary.
When they were at the rehearsal dinner, he was never far from Walter’s side unless Walter was practicing walking up and down the aisle, and then Kelly was always visible, always right there with the other spouses and significant others, always smiling and waving at Walter when their gazes met.
On the day of the wedding as Cara went into full-on wedding hyperventilation, it was Kelly who came in as the voice of calm when Walter didn’t have it in him to play clown. Kelly took up some of the managing Walter had been meant to do, talking with the ushers about getting the gifts out of the church and to the hotel room and arranging for the same at the reception. Kelly never missed a beat, was everyone’s right-hand man.
Especially Walter’s. Whenever they were together, his hand was on Walter’s arm, his waist, his shoulder, or clasped inside his palm.
Some of Walter’s fog lifted during the ceremony, and as the minister droned on about love and commitment, Walter looked at his boyfriend, who happened to be watching the bride—and in that moment he knew that he wanted, more than anything else, to have this with Kelly. He wanted the promise. He wanted the rings. He even wanted the three-ring wedding circus.
He wanted to be married. To Kelly. Forever. As he stood listening to Greg and Cara’s ceremony, he thought, mostly, about when it would be okay for him to ask for his own.
The reception was in a pretty garden room of Greg’s family’s country club, and everyone, once arrived, seemed to relax. Walter made it through the wedding toast with a plastered-on smile and borrowed goodwill, and if Cara felt he’d phoned it in, she didn’t say anything. He danced with Greg’s sister for the attendants’ dance, and with his obligations filled, he sought out his date, eager to slide off into the shadows with him for some quiet.
Except when he took Kelly’s hand and tried to lead him away, Kelly took him back out to the dance floor. Walter had his mouth open to object when the opening strains of piano arpeggios filled the room. He stopped short and looked at Kelly, who winked.
“Come on. I played this just for you.”
Walter really tried to pull away then, but he didn’t have a lot of fight in him, so he went, dissolving against Kelly and shutting his eyes, letting his lover lead as Helen Reddy’s soft, familiar voice assured him she’d be his candle on the water.
“It was a nice ceremony, don’t you think?” Kelly’s hand shifted down to Walter’s lower back, pressing reassuringly. “You look so handsome in your suit. Though I have to say, I can’t wait to get you out of it.”
Walter tried to take a deep breath, but it was shaky.
“My parents texted to let me know they got everything from Hope. They said you’re welcome to stay with me as long as you like when you come back.” His fingers splayed against Walter’s hip. “Apparently someone is trying to rent an apartment downtown, and the word on the street is it’s someone from Chicago. My parents said if that’s you, if you think you can’t stay in our house as long as you need to, they have a long lecture ready when we get there.”
Walter tried to laugh, but it caught in his throat. He hugged Kelly tighter.
Kelly brushed a kiss against his ear. “Don’t worry. They just guilt you a little, and then it’s over.”
The music was killing Walter. Thank God the song was almost done. He wanted to get out of there, needed to get away from the dance floor because he wasn’t in the mood for anyone to see him come undone. As the song wound down, Walter began to relax. It was a nice gesture, the song, and he appreciated it. God knew he had it coming after all the rigging of shit he did for Kelly. It worked too, because while it played, life did feel like a Disney movie. The ship would come home. Pete would get away from the bad guys. Everything might just be okay.
Kelly slid his hand down Walter’s arm, twining their fingers together, placing something into Walter’s palm. It was small and round, and heavy.
It was, he realized, Kelly’s class ring.
As the strings and piano slowed and the song ended, Kelly slipped the familiar piece of jewelry onto Walter’s thumb, closing it tight into their joined hands as he leaned in and whispered into Walter’s ear.
“I’ll never let you go.”
Walter laughed. And cried, and hugged Kelly, and laughed and cried some more. He forgot the rest of the room, the rest of the world, everything that wasn’t Kelly, that sappy, stupid song, and this perfect, shining moment.
He forgot it all, because he didn’t think, he knew that everything would be okay.