Despite the pressures the final year of high school brings, I was walking on air. Mereki was my constant inspiration, and I knew my drawing skills were improving everyday. Down by the river, life was full of passion. We might’ve only been seventeen, but we were lovers, and we felt invincible because of it.
After spending the morning doing chores, the rest of the Saturday was mine.
Mereki was waiting when I got off the bus. “Hey, Kalimna,” he said.
I smiled broadly and handed him my bag. “Hey, handsome,” I replied.
When I reached for his hand, he shied away—and it crushed me. “Everyone knows we’re together, Ki,” I muttered, following his gaze to a group of guys up ahead. I recognised them from school, but they hadn’t noticed us. “I don’t understand why you’re always trying to pretend like we’re just friends in public.”
“I just think it’s better this way.”
“Why?” I asked, trying to hide my hurt.
He stopped and faced me. “Jacob and Trent are always looking for a fight, and as much as I’d love to ram my fist into their ugly mugs, I don’t want a record when we’re getting out of this town soon.”
I kicked my foot in the dirt like a petulant child. “There will always be people who enjoy causing trouble.”
“I guess you’re right,” he said but sounded so resigned, I wondered about the flack he received that I didn’t know about. “I’m so proud of you and want to scream our love from the rooftops, but I don’t want to be reckless either. I just want to finish school, then get us the hell out of here.”
“Come on,” I said, jogging ahead a few steps. “Let’s get down to the river.”
As we made our way to the clearing, I looked up at the dark sky. “I think it’s going to rain.”
“Probably,” he replied, glancing upward. “You wanna turn back?”
I shook my head. “It might hold out.”
“How are things at home?” he asked. “Did Trent give you any grief today?”
I shrugged. “No more than usual.”
He nodded. “I can’t wait until this year is over.”
I sighed. “I know. Me too, but there’ll be arseholes everywhere, so you need to stop worrying about it.”
“I’ll never stop trying to protect you from every single one,” he said in a tone I didn’t like.
“I don’t need your protection.” I picked up the pace, eager to get to our place by the river. “I can fight my own battles.”
Ki groaned but didn’t push me on this. We’d had the conversation so many times.
When we arrived, I sat down next to my pebble art and pulled out my sketchpad.
“It’s so amazing,” Ki said, squatting next to me and staring at the design. “How many pieces do you think there are?”
“Two,” I said, smiling. “Yours and mine.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “We just fit together, you and I.”
He shook his head, laughing. “That’s a bit cheesy, Emerson.”
I smacked him on the chest and tried to pull back, but his strong arms held me in place. “I’m kidding.” He kissed me so passionately my knees went weak.
After making out for what seemed like forever, Ki left me with my sketchpad while he baited his hooks.
Every chance I got, I worked on what I now considered to be my self-portrait. It had become a complex layering of light and shade that reflected every aspect of my life.
I deserved this. I’d never intentionally hurt anyone. I worked hard at school and at home. There was no reason I shouldn’t be given this amount of happiness because it was pure and good.
“Stay with me tonight,” Ki said, as we neared my bus stop a few hours later.
“I’ll have to go home to get some things,” I replied, already working out what clothes I’d pack in my head.
“Makes sense as we’re going to the art gallery tomorrow, and the less time you spend with Trent the better.”
“I can handle Trent,” I said, pushing my shoulders back and meeting his gaze. “I’ve taken care of myself all my life, and as much as I appreciate and love that you want to protect me, I don’t need you to treat me like some helpless little girl.”
He appeared pained. “I know you’re not helpless, Kalimna, but I’m worried—and I want you in my bed.”
I looked up at him through my lashes and knew I wanted that, too—so much. “I’ll go home and get my things, then I’ll be back.”
Mum was sitting on the benches in front of the small supermarket with a few of her friends, just as she always did in the early evenings. She looked straight at me but didn’t say a word. I could feel her eyes on me as I passed, but there was no acknowledgment. She acted as if I was a stranger and realistically, to her, I was. However, that day she followed me home, and I was aware of her close behind me as I unlocked the front door.
While I was packing a few things from my dresser into a bag, my whole body tensed. I glanced towards my bedroom door and my stomach fell. Mum and Trent were blocking my exit.
“Where are you going?” Trent asked, arms tightly folded.
“I’m staying in town tonight,” I replied, pushing a pair of jeans into my bag. “Not that it’s any business of yours,” I mumbled under my breath. These days, I stayed overnight at Mereki’s house often, but I’d never had to justify myself before. They were rarely home when I was, and I had no reason to think they cared about my whereabouts any more than I cared about theirs.
“Who with?” Mum asked, then shoved a cigarette in her mouth. Trent whipped a Zippo lighter from his pocket and lit it for her.
“Yeah,” Trent sneered. “Who with, Emerson?”
“Um . . . a friend.” I clenched my teeth and hoped for the best.
“You’re staying with Mereki, aren’t you, you little slut?” Trent laughed, but there was a malicious edge to his voice.
“I’m not a slut,” I defended. “He’s my boyfriend, and I’m seventeen years old.”
“You should be shacking up with Jacob Smith,” Mum suggested with her hand on her hip, the cigarette hanging from her red-stained lips. “He’s more your type.” Then she blew smoke directly into my face.
And follow in your footsteps? I don’t think so.
I slung my bag over my shoulder and took a few steps towards them. “This is none of your business,” I said, pinning them both with a harsh look. “And for the record, Jacob Smith has never been and will never be my type.”
Mum snickered. “You’ll learn soon enough that all men leave. Doesn’t matter how pretty you are or how often you spread your legs.” Pain flashed across her bloodshot eyes. “Cash in with the rich boy while you can.”
“You’re wrong,” I whispered, surprised by how calm I felt. I could’ve told her Mereki and I were in love and that we were planning the rest of our lives, away from her and this town. I could’ve told her that we were soulmates and nothing would come between us. I could’ve said so many things, but I bit my tongue. She was bitter and twisted and I’d be wasting my breath. Silently, I thanked the stars for aligning, the river goddess or whoever led me down to the river all those years ago because what Mereki and I had was forever.
Trent pushed his shoulders back. “Your father ditched you before you were born, then mine, the worthless prick, cut and run, too.” His dark eyes were filled with hatred. “What makes you think any man will stick around for you?”
I threw my arms in the air. “Oh my God. This again? You’re so filled with hate, you can’t see beyond it.” I narrowed my eyes and took another step forward. “I feel sorry for you, Trent. You’re going to spend the rest of your days blaming him for your small life.”
Pushing my mother aside, he grabbed me by the upper arm, slammed me into the wall, then slapped me hard across my cheek. His mouth was only an inch from mine. “You’ve always been a spiteful little bitch,” he whispered.
Taking a step back, he raised his fist, but there was no way I was going to let him hit me. Channelling all my resentment, anger, and frustration, I slammed my knee into his groin. Completely blindsided, he crumpled to the floor, writhing in agony.
“Enough, Trent,” I said with conviction. “Enough.”
I picked up my bags and turned to my mother. “I’m staying in town with Mereki. I’m not asking. I’m telling.”
As I pushed past them, Trent whipped his hand out and gripped me around the ankle. “You’ll pay for this.”
I yanked my leg away and walked out the door without so much as a backward glance.