Twenty-One
Izzy
“Focus on your breathing, in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Caroline’s voice was soft and melodic as she spoke to the group. “Take this opportunity to set an intention for yourself. Maybe you need to find compassion. Gratitude. Forgiveness. Feel free to revisit this intention at any point during your practice.”
After several minutes of calm, comfortable silence, she stood and pushed a button. The soft instrumental music surrounded Izzy as she moved from one pose to the other. Occasionally Caroline would circulate through the small class and gently guide arms and legs into the correct position.
Every movement pushed Izzy just a little past her body’s ability to bend, but with each pause, she relaxed a little further and her emotions calmed a little more.
Right up until Izzy followed one of Caroline’s last instructions and assumed the pigeon pose, folding her right leg at the knee in front of her and extending her left leg behind her. The first few seconds put all the muscles in her hips on an extreme stretch. After nearly a minute, she adjusted to the position, but unexpected and unprovoked tears began to track down her cheeks.
Her friend came behind her and firmly grasped her shoulders, running her hands down her upper arms. Caroline’s voice was soft and low, meant only for Izzy’s ears. “It’s okay, Izzy. Let it out, honey.”
The very last thing Izzy had expected as she alternated her legs was for a fresh round of tears to fall in a classroom full of strangers. But she couldn’t seem to find it in herself to be embarrassed or ashamed. Only peace rolled through her with each tear that escaped.
And the word that had immediately struck her at the beginning of class filtered through her mind once more. Forgiveness.
Twenty minutes later, she pulled into the garage, and Caroline’s voice replayed in her head. It’s normal, it’s expected, for the deep hip exercises to let go of some emotions you’ve been holding onto. Caroline pulled her into a tight hug. It’s why I wanted you to come today, Iz. You needed this.
A small smile pulled at Izzy’s mouth and stayed fixed throughout her shower and dinner with Tanner and the kids. When Tanner popped in the latest animated release for their family movie night, she moved just a little closer to him than she had in the past few weeks.
Caroline was right. She needed that release and to let go of everything that had left a constant ache in her heart for so much longer than even she had realized. But she needed Tanner even more.
And when they finally lay side-by-side in bed, she fit herself as tightly against him as she could. “Tanner, I need you.” She brushed her lips across his and tightened her grip on his white shirt. “I need you so much.”
His fingers dug into her hip a little, and even in the dark room she could see his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
She slid her hands down the front of his shirt and grabbed the hem, tugging it over his head. “I’m so sure.” Her fingers traced along the muscles of his abdomen. “I’ve missed you so much, Tanner. Please.” She drew out the last word, knowing it would be his undoing.
“Belle, if this is too soon, too fast—”
Izzy lifted his hand from her hip and kissed each finger, slowly drawing the index finger into her mouth, keeping her gaze locked on his. “I need your hands on me.” She leaned forward and captured his mouth in a hard, brief kiss. “I need your lips on me.” She nudged him gently until he was lying on his back and she straddled his hips. “I need every part of you on every part of me, Tanner.”
Before he could answer, she pulled off her short nightgown and threw it somewhere in the direction of the bathroom door. The sharp intake of breath from Tanner made her lips turn up in a smug grin. She kissed him again, softer, longer, and slowly made a trail down his chest to his navel, outlining each muscle there with her tongue.
She slid his pajama pants and boxers down with her as she moved down his body. Her mouth wrapped around him with practiced confidence. She heard her name on a moan from his lips and bit back a smile. At one time, she had been hesitant and unsure, but now…now she knew exactly what Tanner wanted.
Her tongue wrapped around him as her mouth glided up and down. Izzy looked up and saw his chest move faster, and she picked up her rhythm in time with his breathing.
A strangled sound came from his throat, and before it registered, she found herself pulled back up until she was face to face with Tanner before he flipped her on her back.
“Oh, hell no, sweetheart.” His voice was low and rugged. “No way in hell your hot little mouth is going to take away all my fun.”
She wanted to smile, to laugh, to offer a quick retort, but before her mind could catch up, he was crashing into her and the breath was ripped from her body with the movement. Her hands flew into his hair and brought his mouth to hers. She locked her legs around him and found herself spiraling out of control much faster than she’d dreamed.
Izzy broke the kiss and held his face inches from hers, staring into his blue eyes in the dim light. “Tanner, I…” The words ended on an indecipherable scream that was quickly followed by Tanner’s low moans.
He collapsed on top of her and, despite his weight, she held him there for several minutes before he finally rolled on his side and pulled her against him.
The silence stretched out for so long she began to think he’d fallen asleep when his chest rumbled against her cheek. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
She planted a soft kiss against his chest. “I am now.” Izzy could feel his entire body relax next to her, and she smiled against his skin. “Well, I will be.”
Immediately he responded by tensing and hooking a finger under her chin. “What’s wrong, Belle? Was that too rough? Too soon? Aw, hell, I’m sorry I…”
She rocked forward and planted a kiss on his lips. “You’re pretty sexy when you’re insecure.” Her fingers began walking across his chest and down his stomach. “But I was kinda hoping this wasn’t going to be a one-time deal.”
His eyes widened at her words and his cocky smile fell right into place. He turned and pinned her on the mattress, grabbing her wandering hand and interlacing his fingers through hers, holding them above her head. “I like the way you think, Belle.”
***
One hundred twenty-seven, one hundred twenty-eight…
“You’re not going back to sleep, are you?”
Izzy turned her head to the right where Tanner lay beside her on his stomach, one arm thrown over her midsection. “How did you know I was awake?”
He popped one eye open. “Because your breathing changes when you wake up. Because I notice everything about you.” He grinned mischievously. “And because your foot has been shaking the bottom of the bed for the past ten minutes.”
She scrunched her nose. “Sorry, I thought I was being quiet and calm counting the dots on the ceiling.”
Tanner laughed into the pillow. “We probably should get up. Lots to do today.”
“All we have to do is get the marriage license.” Her brows drew together. “That shouldn’t take long, should it?”
With a groan, Tanner leaned over and kissed her shoulder before heaving himself out of bed. “It shouldn’t, but we also need to get rings and you need a dress and flowers.”
Izzy sat up quickly on her knees on the mattress. “No, I packed a dress. And I don’t need flowers. Although you might have a point about the rings…” She waved her hand dismissively. “But we can even get those at some point when we get back home.”
He stood next to the bed and planted a kiss on her forehead. “You’re getting a dress.” He kissed her left cheek. “And flowers.” He kissed her right cheek. “And rings.” He leaned in a little closer and nipped her earlobe. “But first I think we should get a shower.”
Her arms flew around his neck as he lifted her up, and she laughed. “Well, we do have two hours until the clerk’s office opens…”
Tanner crossed the few feet into the small bathroom in their hotel room and lowered her onto the cold white tile floor. “Last chance, Belle. Are you sure this is what you want?”
She wanted to tell him that the wedding itself really was meaningless to her. She wanted to tell him that no matter how their marriage started, being married to him was really all that mattered. She wanted to tell him that starting their lives together happy and uncomplicated was her version of a fairy tale come true.
But she couldn’t seem to find the words or the composure to say them. She pointed at herself and then at him. “This is what I want.” She tugged her nightgown over her head and shimmied her underwear down in one seamless move with a grin. “And I really, really want to take a shower.”
Three and a half hours later, marriage license stashed safely away in her purse, Izzy turned from one side to the other in front of the full-length mirror. Tanner dutifully waited at the front door of the small boutique, insistent on the fact she needed a dress for their wedding.
And she couldn’t help but agree as soon as she’d slipped the strapless lavender knee-length dress over her head. She smoothed a hand over the tulle skirt, fighting against the tears collecting in the corner of her eyes. Not that she’d ever admit it to him, but that one simple piece made the day feel real. And exciting. And terrifying.
She traded her basic black flip-flops for flat silver sandals with deep purple gemstones dotting the straps, matching the contrasting sash on her dress. Izzy closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped out from behind the curtain. Tanner stood leaning against the far wall, his legs crossed at the ankles, but as soon as his gaze landed on her, he jumped to attention and crossed the room.
“Belle…I…” He shook his head and gently brought her hand up to his mouth. “You look gorgeous.”
Tanner winked at her before he slid a charming smile in place and pinned the middle-aged woman behind the counter with it. “Ma’am, I’m sure it violates some store policy, but is there any way my fiancée could wear these out of the store? We’re on our way to get married and…” He let his words trail off and shrugged his shoulders.
Izzy wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or smack his shoulder. Maybe both.
But every drop of mock irritation fell away when she found herself pulled into a jewelry store three doors down from the boutique. Her eyes were drawn to a matching set of white gold bands with channel-set diamonds encased in the middle of the store. They were exactly what she’d dreamed of, but the attached price tag immediately made her look for another option.
He tugged on the hand held firmly in his, and she spun around to look at him. His other hand cupped her cheek and he rested his forehead against hers. “I saw that look, sweetheart. This is our day, right? All about us and what we want?”
She nodded her head against his. “But baby…”
A smile curved his lips, and Izzy had to concentrate on restraining her mouth from seeking his. “How about we just try them on, okay?” His smile settled into a smirk. “But if they fit and you like ‘em, you know damn well I’m going to buy them.”
“Pushy jerk.”
“But you love me.”
Her hand wrapped around his neck, and she planted a gentle kiss against his lips. “More than anything, baby.”
An hour after they tried the rings on, they stood before the chaplain reciting their vows. “With this ring,” Izzy repeated, unable to stop her emotion from thickening her voice, “I thee wed.”
Tanner’s deep voice sounded gravelly and rough. A single tear slid down his cheek. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
Before the chaplain could finish the command, Tanner leaned down and kissed his wife and Izzy held her husband close.
“Nobody leaves.” He whispered their private vow against her lips in between kisses.
“Nobody leaves.”