Thirty-Two
Tanner
Tanner shifted on his feet uncomfortably and looked at his watch again. Yeah, he was happy his brother was taking his time and driving carefully, just as he was told, but he was dying a slow and agonizing death waiting for Belle.
Was there a chance in hell she could forgive him? Did Wyatt’s little intervention make a difference? Or had she already made up her mind and nothing he did, said, or gave her would change that?
He felt like he was the main contestant on that ridiculous reality show Dean’s best friend liked to watch and he was waiting to hand out the final rose.
As soon as he saw Belle standing at the top of the wooden stairs, his breath caught in his throat. His palms grew wet with sweat as she approached, and he wiped them on his black dress pants.
“Damn, you look beautiful.” He breathed the words when she reached him. Not at all part of the speech he’d spent most of the night rehearsing but he couldn’t help himself. The lace dress hugged the curves that he had memorized. And the soft chocolate curls hanging over her left shoulder made his fingers itch to touch them.
At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to bury his nose into the silky tresses and inhale the fresh scent of apples and summer and Belle, but he had far too much to say.
She looked down, and pink tinged her cheeks. “Thanks. You, uh, decided to go low-key, I see.” She waved a hand to encompass the Lower Cascade Falls, roaring behind where they stood beneath the white pergola Tanner and his brothers had set up on the observation deck.
Soft twinkle lights were twisted around each leg and around the periphery of the structure and glowed in the rapidly darkening night. Red rose petals covered the cement pad, and alternating red and white candles flickered along the railing of the deck.
Over the top? Maybe. What Belle deserved? Not even close.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment before fixing them on their joined hands. “Thank you for waiting until now to make a decision and for even showing up here tonight. I swear, sweetheart, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you left me standing here alone.”
She nodded slightly and gave him the barest of smiles. “This is gorgeous, Tanner. And I love that you picked here.” She laughed lightly. “I will never understand how you manage to set this stuff up, though.”
He grinned then. “Some secrets are meant to be kept.”
Belle’s eyes filled with tears, and he swallowed back his own. They had so much between them that was special and unique and only theirs, and he simply couldn’t imagine a world where he couldn’t utter a relatively innocuous phrase and have her understand.
“I’m sorry, Belle.” He felt like he’d uttered those words more over the past forty-three days than he had his entire life. “I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry I took our family for granted. And I am sorrier than I can possibly express that I violated your trust and stole something that was damn near sacred.”
“Tanner, wait.”
She held a hand against his lips, and his heart stopped beating. She wasn’t going to let him apologize. She wasn’t going to listen. She was finished with them and tired of his pathetic attempts at making things right.
He’d done too much. Screwed up too badly. This was the final nail in the coffin of his marriage.
Lost in his own head, and so certain nothing would change, he barely registered the feeling of her hand sliding from his mouth to the back of his neck. Or her body pressing against his. Or her other hand twining around his waist.
“Somewhere along the way, we lost us. And I don’t just mean us as a couple, I mean you and me.” Her eyes locked on his. “I’ve realized the past few weeks how much I didn’t just miss you, I missed me.”
Belle leaned her forehead against his and sighed softly. “It’s not all your fault, Tanner. We both lost sight of what’s really important. And I…I forgot who you were. You’re not my dad. You’ve never been like him. Tanner, I never should have measured you with his yardstick.”
Well, hell.
He gripped her hips tightly. “I will regret what I did for the rest of my life, sweetheart, but I am so damn glad I got a well-deserved wakeup call to put my priorities back in place.”
He dropped to one knee before her. When he heard her choked sob, his stomach flipped. Was that a good sign? “Belle, I don’t deserve a second chance. The last time we stood here, I made a promise not to work too much. I made a promise to be faithful to you. I made a promise to put you first in my life, and I broke every single one of those.”
Her hand clapped over her mouth, and she sucked in a shuddered breath.
“I know I don’t deserve it, sweetheart,” he repeated, “but I will never again take for granted one second with you if you can possibly find a way to forgive me.”
Belle pulled him to his feet and pressed her lips against his. “I forgave you long before I got here.”
***
His heart thudded against his ribcage, and he cursed himself. He sure as hell wasn’t a virgin and this wasn’t his first time with Belle.
But it kind of was.
It was the first time with his new-found appreciation of her. The first time with their fresh start. The first time after they’d fought the biggest battle of their relationship and managed to come out on the other side, scathed but together.
He turned the key in the lock of the heavy wooden door. He wanted to take this slow and worship every square inch of her body, but when her soft hand brushed against his forearm, he fought the urge to push her against the door right on the front porch of the cabin, far too close to prying eyes.
Tanner bent down and hooked an arm under her knees, easily lifting her and cradling her against his chest. Belle let out a small squeak and her arms flew around his neck as he carried her across the threshold, kicking the door closed behind him.
Her lips melded against his, her tongue dancing in his mouth. She was going to test every ounce of his self-control and set fire to his carefully laid plans.
And he really didn’t give a damn.
Breaking the kiss, he set her on her feet, her body sliding against his and sending him into a tailspin of desire. She clamped down on her bottom lip and began unbuttoning his shirt with shaking hands.
A tiny laugh escaped Belle’s mouth, ending on a huff of frustration. “I’m pretty sure I was more confident the first time we did this.”
He hooked a finger under her chin and brought her eyes from his shirt to his face. “You were perfect then and you’re perfect now.”
She lifted one eyebrow just as she undid the last button. She slid her hands up his stomach and chest to his shoulders and pushed the white linen shirt off his body. “Perfect?”
His hands found the zipper at the back of her dress and he tugged until it hissed its release. “Perfect for me.”
Tanner pulled the wide straps of her dress, sucking in a breath when the material pooled around her feet. “Holy hell, sweetheart.”
He’d seen her in all manner of clothing from the gown she’d chosen for their wedding to the adorable funky pajamas she slept in and everything in between. But tonight, after making so many mistakes and the undeserved gift of her forgiveness, he wanted to fall before her and spend hours kissing, licking, tasting every part of her.
And the skimpy white lace lingerie set he’d never seen before only amplified his desires. “When the hell did you buy these?”
She blushed again. “The day before you came home from Wyatt’s competition.”
His heart stilled and his breathing stopped. “You really did come here ready to forgive me.”
Belle nodded slightly. Then her hands landed on his belt buckle and he stiffened against a fresh onslaught of need. She dragged his belt through the loops and threw it across room. A saucy grin spread across her face as she unbuttoned his pants. “I’ve really missed you, Tanner.”
Well, double hell.
He locked his arms around her waist and lifted her off her feet, carrying her to the bed on the far side of the open one-room cabin. “I missed you too, sweetheart. So damn much.”
Tanner laid Belle across the deep red comforter and stood next to the bed, staring at her for several long moments. He had been too close to losing this, losing her, losing everything that meant something.
Her hands started to cover her stomach, and he reached down to move them away. “Oh, hell no, sweetheart. Don’t cover an inch of this gorgeous body.”
Tanner laid down on the bed beside her, commanding his body to stay under control. His fingers trailed up her abdomen, traveling beneath her to unhook her bra, sliding the straps down her arms and tossing the undergarment somewhere in the direction of their clothes.
His lips made a path across the warm skin the material had covered and he grinned at Belle’s sharp intake of breath. His tongue slipped out of his mouth, desperate to taste the familiar sweetness that was Belle.
Tanner turned until he hovered over her, propped up on his elbows and making trails up and down her body. Her soft sighs propelled him on and drove him to the brink of control.
He hooked his fingers under the edges of her panties and slowly slid them down and over her shoes.
“Let me take those off.” She panted out the words, lifting her head and gesturing to the heels.
He grinned and shook his head slowly. “Oh, hell no, sweetheart. I want nothing more than these sexy shoes locked behind my back while I hear you screaming my name. Now lay back Belle. I’m starving for you.”
Tanner ran his facial hair along the inside of her thigh and chuckled at the deep, throaty moan. He tempted her with soft kisses everywhere but where he knew she wanted him the most. He thoroughly enjoyed teasing his wife to brink of insanity.
Finally when she whimpered his name, he darted his tongue into the hot, slick flesh and was rewarded with a soft shriek. He traced different patterns with his tongue and slid a finger inside her, moments later—another.
“Tan-ner!”
His lips curved against her and he slowed the rhythm of his tongue but didn’t stop until her breathing began to slow. He kissed his way back to her mouth, claiming it and her at the same time, both of them moaning at finally being connected.
He broke the kiss and slowly increased his pace, locking his eyes with her soft chestnut ones, dilated with desire and need.
Tanner thrust two more times and, when the familiar tingling sensation began to build, whispered, “I love you, Belle.”
Her thighs tightened around him and her mouth fell open. “I-I-I, oh, Tanner!” She screamed his name as he collapsed on top of her.
Several long minutes later, he rolled off her but pulled her close to his side with the movement. A lot of things were going to happen tonight, but letting go of her was not one of them.