Twenty-Three
Izzy
“Are you sure about this?” Izzy wrinkled her nose at the green mixture in the glass.
Caroline tilted her head back and laughed. “Trust me, Iz. It’s a cucumber mint juice that will help you rehydrate and refresh.”
She quirked a disbelieving eyebrow but obediently took a small sip, quickly followed by a larger one. “First yoga and now this. I really should blindly trust everything you tell me.”
Her proclamation was met with another round of laughter from her friend, and they lightly clinked their juice glasses. “So if I tell you that I think you should become a yoga instructor, you’ll just do it without arguing?”
Izzy nearly choked on the mouth full of juice. She grabbed a napkin from the dispenser on the counter, coughing into it and waving a hand at the attendant who came over to see if she was okay. “Me? Caroline, it’s only been a couple of weeks. You can’t possibly think—”
“I think,” Caroline cut in, “that you grabbed the mats and started cleaning them at your second class. No questions asked. And when Rosa called off, you manned the front desk for me and, frankly, you were probably nicer to the clients than she ever has been.” She rolled her eyes.
Izzy laughed and opened her mouth to say something, but Caroline continued. “And more than anything, I think that I’ve seen you happier and lighter the last two weeks than in the past three years. I know Tanner is a big part of that, but, Iz, I think you’ve found some of you again. This is the girl I first met when we were standing in the NICU and you were screaming at the doctor.”
Izzy couldn’t help but blush at the memory. Right after she had gotten done lecturing the arrogant, offensive doctor, a harrowed Caroline had run up to her and wrapped her in a big hug before introducing herself. Over the next three weeks, Izzy and Caroline had bonded over beeping monitors and growing babies.
The words sank in and she had to admit, only to herself, that for the first time in a very long time she felt confident. Self-assured. And it felt…good.
Caroline fiddled with her straw before sighing and looking at Izzy. “I’ll be honest, Iz. I do believe that you would be a fantastic instructor. You are naturally calming, and with your teaching background, you have lots of patience and a genuine desire to help people learn. But I also have a selfish reason.”
Izzy drew her brows together. “I don’t understand.”
She lifted her one shoulder and readjusted the tie-dyed headband holding her short brown hair back from her face. “The company that owns the building just raised the rent on my studio space. If you become certified, you could become my partner and we could offer more classes.”
Hurt and doubt tried to creep into Izzy’s mind as she processed the new information, at first allowing herself to believe that her friend didn’t really think she was good enough to be an instructor, just that she needed the extra help.
Before she could politely decline, a new thought occurred to her. Caroline had opened her own studio a year ago. She may need another teacher, but she certainly wouldn’t risk her reputation on having an instructor that wasn’t competent leading classes. And what was that last thing she said?
“Partner?” Izzy squeaked out the single word. “Did you say partner?”
Caroline bobbed her head excitedly. “It would be great, Iz! You’d be perfect and we’d get to spend more time together. And maybe Prince Charming will help us with marketing and stuff.”
She snorted at Caroline’s nickname for Tanner. Unwilling to commit right then, Izzy promised to think about it. But the hopeful smile that had taken up residence on her face didn’t fade on her drive home as she considered the idea.
Her thoughts and, she was sure, her expression turned much more suspicious when she walked into the living room and spied two very well-behaved children sitting calmly on the couch, flanking their father, giggling at an animated television show.
Noah caught sight of her first. “Mommy’s home! It’s time to go on our date!”
Tanner tilted his head back and chuckled, the sound of the deep rumble making Izzy’s toes curl. “Mommy has to take a shower and get changed first.” He threw her a wink and a lopsided grin. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
She should be immune to this by now, shouldn’t she? She shouldn’t feel excited butterflies in her stomach at his smile. She shouldn’t feel a rush of heat when her husband flirted with her. And she really shouldn’t be wishing the children were spending the night with their grandparents tonight.
She sped through her shower, trying to calm the excitement churning in her stomach and temper the trepidation. She was loving each and every date Tanner planned. The creative ones and the simple ones. Even more, she loved the nights they spent with the kids watching movies and the Sunday mornings sitting around the table eating whatever Tanner had made for breakfast.
But was this all just temporary? The day after their anniversary, would everything go back to exactly the way it had been? And would Tanner feel the need to look for whatever he was missing in the arms of someone else again?
Thoughts of her, which Izzy was surprised hadn’t plagued her for days, began to bubble to the surface again as she stepped out of the shower and dried off. She wrapped the towel around herself and knotted it at the top, pushing the dark thoughts from her mind and focusing on what to wear when she had no idea where they were going.
Thinking of the light blue shirt and khaki shorts Tanner was wearing, and wearing so well, she began rummaging in her dresser drawers for something casual and flattering. She curled her top lip in irritation at her body that refused to tighten despite the hours she logged on the treadmill and in yoga.
Izzy was holding the cream-colored top up, debating internally on the wisdom of wearing something so easily stained, when Tanner burst through the bedroom door. As soon as he saw her, still clad only in a towel, he skidded to a halt and his eyes grew wide.
She loved that look. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
“We don’t need to leave just yet.” He sauntered the few feet to stand in front of her and slid a hand between the folds of the terrycloth, resting it on the bare skin of her back and pulling her close to him. “The festival is going on until eleven. It’s okay if we don’t leave for another ten minutes.” He buried his face in her neck, planting soft kisses. “Or twenty.”
Izzy fitted herself closer to Tanner and twined her arms around his neck with a small laugh. “We’re going to the festival? We’re gonna eat funnel cake and corn dogs and ride a Ferris wheel?”
“Later.” He mumbled the single word against her shoulder before lightly sinking his teeth into the flesh, making her breath exit on a sigh.
She bit her bottom lip. “How about we make a deal, Mr. MBA?”
He pulled his head back, giving her the crooked grin that made her heart forget to beat, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I thought I burned those damned textbooks.”
Lifting up on her tiptoes, Izzy intended to plant a soft kiss on Tanner’s cheek, but he turned his head just then and captured her lips with his, tightening her arm around her waist. Her mouth opened against his as she gasped at the contact. His tongue slid inside, wreaking havoc on every ounce of self-control she was trying to muster.
She flattened her palms against his chest and pushed him away. “Ring toss.”
Tanner blinked a few times with a small shake of his head. “Ring toss?”
Izzy nodded, stepping away to release the knot on her towel and dress as slowly as possible. “We play the ring toss game.” She did her level best to affect a nonchalant tone, reveling in Tanner’s obvious agony as she slowly dressed. “I win, I choose. You win, you choose.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed twice. “Choose what?”
She buttoned her denim shorts and flashed him a smile, pointing at the front of his shorts. “Choose where and how we take care of that little issue.”
He folded his arms across his chest and furrowed his brow, but his blue eyes twinkled mischievously. “Little? Sweetheart, that isn’t what you were saying last night.”
***
The first stab of pain made Izzy sit upright in bed.
The second followed closely and took the breath from her lungs.
When the third stroke of searing pain ran across her abdomen, she shook Tanner’s shoulder.
This wasn’t right. She’d read dozens of books, talked to countless other mothers, and felt she had a pretty good idea of what labor, at least early labor, was supposed to feel like and it wasn’t this. It shouldn’t feel like this, and it shouldn’t be happening now. She still had eight weeks to go.
“Tan-ner.” Her voice broke over his name as a sob rolled through her. “Tanner, baby, wake up. Something’s wrong.”
Before she finished speaking, he’d thrown back the covers and turned on the light. The sight of bright red blood covering her nightgown and the sheets made her throat close. She reached a shaking hand down to touch the pool of red surrounding her—warm, sticky, and far too real.
No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. Her hands covered her swollen abdomen and cradled it protectively.
Tanner pulled her head against his shoulder with one hand while the other dialed 911. She barely registered his careful, measured tone. Something was wrong with her babies and there was nothing she could do. Nothing Tanner could do.
She hiccuped and her body shook violently in his arms. Her teeth even chattered, the loud echoing in her ears, but she was helpless to stop it. She couldn’t tell if he was still on the phone, but she couldn’t prevent the screams coming from her mouth. “Tanner! Fix it! You need to fix this!”
His grip tightened around her. “The ambulance is on its way, sweetheart. The babies are fine. Nothing is going to happen to them or to you.”
Part of Izzy wanted to believe every word he said. Tanner had always taken such good care of her. But another side wanted to scream in his face there was no way he could know that the babies were okay. No way he could possibly promise that nothing would happen. Bad stuff happened all the time and bad stuff was happening right now.
Instead she soaked the front of his white shirt with her tears, reminding herself how to breathe in between choking sobs.
After what felt like an eternity, the sound of an approaching siren had Tanner releasing her. He smoothed the hair away from her wet face and cupped her cheeks. “I’m going down to let them in, but I will be right back, Belle. Thirty seconds, tops. I will be right back, sweetheart.” He planted a kiss on her forehead and raced out of the room.
Breathe, she reminded herself once again, you need to breathe. Within minutes, hulking men in navy blue uniforms invaded their small bedroom. Her mind struggled to keep up with the questions. How long had this been going on? Was she dizzy? Was she still in pain? Where was her pain on a scale from 1–10? Was she allergic to any medication?
Her chest constricted further. Where was Tanner?
“Tanner?” Her voice sounded shaky to her own ears, ignoring the interrogation from the men towering over her. A bubble of hysteria began to rise in her throat. “Tanner?”
The bed dipped to her right. “Right here, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
She turned to look at him, grasping for his hand, and the tears that had momentarily dried began to fall again. “I-I-I…”
He held tightly to her hand, never letting go as the paramedics slid a board beneath her and lifted her onto the gurney. “I’m right here. I’m coming with you, sweetheart. I’m not leaving your side.”
Izzy’s mind stalled through the ride to the hospital. She could register little more than the feel of Tanner’s hand stroking her hair and the low murmur of his voice even though the words didn’t make any sense.
Finally, after an IV was placed in her hand, a fetal monitor attached around her stomach, and more annoying questions were asked, Tanner and Izzy were left alone in the small cubicle. The tightness in her chest began to ease with the first whooshing heartbeat she heard.
She slid to the far side of the bed as much as possible. “Baby, I need you to hold me.” She spoke in a whispered tone, illogically afraid the slightest disturbance in the atmosphere of the room would cause the modicum of peace she felt to disappear.
Before she could blink, he was lying next to her, one arm under her head, the other hand on top of her stomach. His touch seemed to set off a flurry of activity, and Izzy found herself being kicked from seemingly every angle.
A haunted smile tugged at her lips. “They love their daddy.”
He hooked a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “They love their mommy, and they are going to be fine. And you are going to be fine. And in a couple of months when we are walking around like sleep-deprived zombies, we are going to forget that this ever happened.”
The cubicle door slid open and Dr. MacMillan walked in, an obviously disapproving look on his face when he saw Tanner and Izzy laying in the small hospital bed together. Izzy glared back, silently daring him to say something.
He cleared his throat, glancing over at the monitor beeping beside her. “Mrs. Carlisle, after reviewing your tests, it appears that you are in preterm labor. It isn’t uncommon in a multiple pregnancy, but you also have placenta previa, causing the bleeding. Your contractions aren’t responding as well to the medication we’ve given you as we’d like, and we feel it’s in your best interest to have a Caesarean section in the near future.”
Izzy’s throat closed and she felt the grip Tanner had on her shoulder tighten. She could only hear a faint buzzing sound in her ears. Every so often a word would make its way through the haze and register in her brain: “NICU,” “lung development,” “breathing problems.” Her heart slammed against her rib cage.
Then her fear began to give way to anger. Anger at her body for failing her and her children. Anger at the middle-aged doctor standing at the foot of the bed with a monotone voice and detached expression. Anger at the stupid machine affixed to her bicep for choosing that moment to take her blood pressure yet again.
Her teeth ground together and she sat upright in the bed. “I don’t care what you have to do, you save my babies.” She spat the words. “There is not a single person in this hospital I want you to focus on other than my children, do you understand me?”
Dr. MacMillan’s eyes widened, and he backed out of the room. “The nurse will be in to administer the first dose of betamethasone.” He spoke from the safety doorway before retreating.
When the door swooshed closed behind him, Izzy’s anger dissolved and she melted back into Tanner’s arms.