Hits Keep On Coming
I knew this day would come. I didn’t know it would come like this. The truth will set you free. Again, one of those things people say all the damn time. The truth will not set me free here. Nope, the truth here will tie me to Rex permanently.
Shooter settles on the other end of the couch and stretches his left arm over the back as he relaxes into his space. “Talk.”
“I don’t think I have to say it. One look at my son and you know the truth.”
“Oh, no, baby, you need to say it. Not just for me to hear it, but I think you haven’t faced it for yourself. I’m tryin’ real hard here, Tessie, to keep an open mind. Take me back and tell me the whole story.”
“Shooter, have you ever believed in something so much you couldn’t see it any other way until it was too late?”
“Yeah, I made that mistake once. It cost me everything.”
His honesty shocks me. I expected a simple yes, not that he has lost in his past.
“Rex was everything I thought I wanted. Only, well… only he wasn’t. I’m white trailer trash from a broken home. Rex is the bad boy. Yeah, I watched him around here and there while I was going to high school. He was sexy in that wild, reckless way. I came from nothing and had no real future. As soon as I was legal, I sought out Rex. He had flirted with me here and there, nothing serious, but I was young and stupid. I didn’t realize Rex flirted with anyone who had a pussy. I thought he wanted me, so I threw myself at him at first, but he denied me.”
“Rex denied you?” Shooter can’t believe me. Hell, if I hadn’t been the one on the receiving end of the rejection, I wouldn’t believe it either.
“Well, that made me want him even more. Before I left for college, I practically begged him to take my V-card. Looking back, I was pathetic. It wasn’t great, but I had heard girls talk and no one had a good first time.”
Shooter looks at me wide-eyed yet says nothing.
“Well, I wanted to make it memorable. So when I would come home from college, I would hook up with Rex. The first time may not have been good, but I wanted to make sure when I looked back on the man I gave my virginity to that I could at least say it got better. I kept coming back for more waiting for it to get better. Well, the sex did get better, but the situation between Rex and I never changed.”
I feel my face flush in embarrassment as I realize I am talking about my sex life with the sexiest man I have ever encountered. Sure, Rex is hot. Rex is sin walking, talking, and fucking. However, Shooter is stealth. Shooter is the man in the shadows. He is the mystery that keeps you needing more.
He nods at me to continue.
“I was trying to be smart, you know. I went to the campus clinic. I was on the depo shot for birth control. Well, I had midterms and missed getting my shot. Then I came home for spring break, not thinking about it. Just like always in those two years since I first fucked him, Rex and I hooked up while I was home.”
“Have you ever been with anyone but Rex?” Shooter questions then shifts in his seat. “Never mind, don’t answer that. It’s not my business. Continue.”
“I finished that semester and came home for summer vacation, but my period didn’t come, which didn’t shock me after being on the shot for so long. Then, I started getting sick to my stomach. My mom swears she saw a difference in my face. Either way, she point blank asked me one day mid-summer if I was pregnant. She had seen me coming and going with Rex. When she asked, it made my brain go, wait a second…” I pause to gage Shooter’s reaction, but he is unreadable. Does he think I am stupid?
He raises an eyebrow for me to continue.
“Well, I was knocked up. I tried to talk to Rex. Thing is, Rex and I never did much talking, and he wasn’t ready to start then, either. He thought I was going back to college, so I let him believe I returned when I didn’t. I stayed home, only going out for doctor’s appointments. I didn’t show until the very end of my pregnancy, and even then, I wasn’t big. Keeping it quiet wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Rex never came looking for me. I realized I always came home and sought him out. After I had Axel, no one really asked me any questions, so I didn’t have to answer anything.”
“Rex knows now. He’s talked about your son. How did he find out?”
“Kids aren’t cheap. I needed a job. Having no real education to fall on, I went to Ruthless and got a job from Bob. When Rex came in the bar and saw me, I tried to resist him at first. I told him I have a baby at home now. Then he told me all the things I wanted to hear. A quick fuck in the stockroom…”
The stockroom. My breath hitches, pulse racing, the panic rising. I can’t breathe. My chest hurts. The room spins.
“Inhale, baby,” Shooter’s voice breaks through my thoughts. Sliding over the couch, he wraps his arms gently around me, pulling me to him. “Exhale. Tessie, you’re safe. Inhale. I got you. Exhale. You’re with me.” His voice soothes something inside me as I follow his command. “Inhale. Stay in the moment here with me, baby. Exhale.”
I blow out a breath as my body and my mind settle. I will get past this. I am stronger than what has happened to me. The stockroom isn’t the problem. Shep, he is the problem. He can’t get to me. Shooter has me. I feel his arms tighten around me as I calm down once again.
“You okay?” he asks in genuine concern.
“Yeah, I’m getting there. Anyhow,” I add needing to continue, “Rex said the right things, and we fell into a weird routine of hooking up whenever he was home and didn’t have some barfly on his dick. He’s never asked about Axel other than common casualties.” I tuck my hair behind my ears while I work to calm my nerves.
Pulling out of Shooter’s embrace, I sit back against the arm of the couch while he consumes the middle and into part of my cushion.
“Why haven’t you told him?”
“Rex doesn’t want to be a dad.”
“You didn’t give him a chance. How do you know he doesn’t want to be a dad? Is it the club, the lifestyle?”
“Yes, no… It’s more Rex, not the club. I don’t want to hold Rex back. He’s not ready to be a dad. For a long time, I told myself I was waiting for him to settle down. I just knew he would pick me, and we would have this happy family. He just needed time and freedom to be wild. In time, I grew tired of it, tired of waiting. Sure, I know I’m the only one he comes back to, but Rex doesn’t make sure I’m okay. Sure, he makes sure I get off, but beyond that, he doesn’t check on me. If he cares so little for me, would he really do more for my boy? For a son he never asked for?
“Rex is not a selfless man. He’s not going to give up his life for me and Axel. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask him, either. Time passed, and it was easier to let go of Rex and not worry about telling him. One day, I know I will have to, but I was waiting on Rex to grow up, and for it not to be me forcing him.”
“Fuck, Tessie. You’ve kept the man’s son from him. Whether Rex was ready or not, it wasn’t for you to decide. He’s the boy’s father and has a right to know.” Shooter does nothing to hold back his irritation with me.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please don’t tell him, not just yet. I promise to tell him, but let me find my way to do it.”
Shooter’s phone ringing interrupts us.
“Shooter,” he answers. There is a pause before he hands the phone to me.
“Hello,” I say into the receiver, caught off guard as to who is on the other end.
“Tessie, I need you to come home, now. I can’t feel my left leg.”
“On my way, Momma. Don’t move.”
My heart breaks as the hits keep on coming. I knew I needed to be stronger. I never should have told her what happened to me, even if she got a watered down version. My problems can’t be her problems.
I silently pray as tears roll down my face.
Fate, Karma, God, whoever is listening, please have mercy on my momma. She’s a good woman. This disease is ravaging her body. Don’t take her mobility away completely. Let her get through again without major complications. My stress did this, I triggered her flare up. Punish me, but please not my momma. She’s all I’ve ever had; don’t put her through more.
“Momma needs me. I gotta get home, Shooter.”
Seeing Tessie absolutely desperate to be at her mom’s side tugs at a place deep in my soul. I never thought I would feel like this again. I want to take all her hurts away.
While I don’t agree with her decision to keep Axel from Rex, if I tell Rex, I add to her pain right now. If I don’t tell him, on the other hand, I’m betraying my brother.
Right when Tessie gets home to her mom, I’m called to sermon by Tripp. Leaving Tessie my car, I climb on my bike and head to the meeting. She has her car back, but I feel better if she drives mine. I can’t leave to pick her up if she gets stuck right now. Should she need to take her mom to the hospital, she needs my car.
Everything is piling up, not just Tessie’s needs. I have other responsibilities. I need to go in to work soon. Ryder has two cars waiting for me. I have taken extra days off to be around for Tessie; as a result, I am backed up at work. Ryder is understanding, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t have a job to do.
Filing into the sermon, we are short a few guys who are on a run for the club. More importantly, they are on a ride to intercept a transport the Ghosts arranged.
“Update time. Keep your eyes open, boys. We’ve lost the Ghosts four affiliations. They are rerouting some of their dealings, which means we need to be proactive in setting up our alliances. We have disposed of their product in two shipments they will be picking up in the next few days. If they are coming to the South, we are gonna squeeze them until they hand over Shep. Shooter, we need you to call your guys in the Regulators to keep an eye on those South Florida transports. We can’t have enough allies and extra eyes right now.”
“Affirmative. I’ll grab a burner and contact Ice.”
When you survive together, literally putting your life in the hands of your military brother, you build a bond that will survive both time and distance. While Bowie left the Army to go back to the Savage Outlaws MC, my buddies Ice and Hammer started their own motorcycle club in South Beach. The Regulators are a badass bunch of no nonsense, ex-military bikers that now run Southern Florida.
Ice is exactly what his name says he is—cold. He is a lethal man with a mind for business and skirting the law. Hammer, his VP, has an iron fist and a name for himself in the underground world. Hands down, I would trust any one of those guys to give me correct information and watch my club’s back.
Tripp fills us in with the regular club business before dismissing us. Then, grabbing a burner, I make the necessary call to my ex-teammates and head home to Tessie.
Walking in, I round the corner to the kitchen and stop in my tracks. Tessie is at the table with Axel. She has those little chocolate morsels lined up in front of her and her son, a pan of raw cookies on the other side.
“Okay, Axel, if you have four chocolate chips and you add two more, how many chocolate chips total will we be putting on the top of the cookie?” Tessie asks her son.
“One, two, three, four… I eat one” —which he proceeds to do before continuing— “five, six. We have six chocolate chips on top of that one, Momma.”
I smile at the sight before me.
“You didn’t share with me,” Tessie jokes.
“Momma, you ate like half the bag mixing the cookie dough. You gotta save some for Gigi,” Axel defends.
“Axel, a woman can never have too much chocolate,” Tessie informs her son.
“Always remember that, Axel,” I add, making my way farther into the room. “It applies to all women, and it may get your ass—I mean, butt, outta trouble one day.”
When Tessie laughs, my heart skips a beat. It is the most beautiful sound my ears have ever heard. I’ve never, in all the years at the bar, heard her laugh. Watching her with her son, the light in her eyes, I want nothing more than to protect what the two of them share.
“You’re like the smartest dude ever, mister,” Axel greets me, laughing alongside his mom.
“Nah, just observant. Learn early, chocolate is man’s best friend, not a damn dog.”
“Momma says damn is a yucky word. I’m not allowed to say it. She says it a lot when she stubs her toe and stuff.”
If I am going to be around Axel, I need to work on my language. I have a feeling he will stay on top of me about it, though.
My mind goes back to Rex. Would he be willing to change to be a better influence for this little boy? I am unable to answer that.
Tessie starts to clear the table and puts the cookies in the oven. Watching her bend over, I can’t help wanting to stand behind her. The luscious curve of her ass is one that other women should envy. Her hips are those of a woman who has carried a child and are made for a man to grip as he bends her over the bed, the table, and anywhere else he can have her.
Fuck, I can’t think like this. Calming my chub from becoming a tent in my jeans, I try to think of kittens, turtles, hell, snakes, spiders.
“Momma says you’re gonna be around for a while. What’s your name, mister?”
His voice is the distraction I need from my lustful thoughts of Tessie. “Name’s Andy, but my friends call me Shooter.”
“Shooter, huh? Do you know how to shoot a gun?”
“Yeah,” I answer simply.
“Awesome,” Axel replies with excitement. “Maybe we can be friends after all.”
Maybe we can, Axel, maybe we can. If I could get your mom to be in such easy agreement, it would make my life simpler.