Chapter 32

Rainey

I stared at the closed door in front of my face. Did Michael think he could get rid of me that easily? By avoiding me, he was confirming his guilt. At least in my eyes.

I opened the door to his office and pushed through. I would get answers from him. I needed to know who I was working for, especially if it would involve my son at some point. If I was in any danger, I wanted out as soon as possible. I’d find another job.

“I don’t like the way you're pushing me away,” I said. “We’re supposed to be a team, and ever since I started working for you, you’ve been hiding things from me.”

Michael stood by the windows. “I figured you wanted to get back home as soon as you could since you aren’t feeling well. Anyway, this doesn’t concern you.”

“I do want to get home,” I said, holding onto the excuse that I was sick. I wanted to get home to Tanner and take care of him like a good mother did. “But I also don’t think it’s right to keep me in the dark about all of this. I was involved with Sal too. And I'm starting to think there is something more going on. Something bad.”

“Like what?” he asked, challenging me.

“I’ve seen the signs, and I’ve heard things,” I said.

Michael’s eyes darkened. “What have you heard?” The growl in his voice made me jump.

I swallowed and blinked a few times.

He let out a breath and dropped his chin. “It’s best if you don’t know anything.”

“I’ve heard from several people that your brother is in the mob,” I said. “And I want to know if the same is true for you.”

“You’re asking me if I’m in the mob?” he asked with a laugh. “Did your little boyfriend tell you that?”

“For the millionth time, I don’t have a boyfriend.” Why wouldn’t he believe me? “The guy you saw me dancing with is a friend’s with my best friend. That’s all. He’s a nice guy. I don’t know why you have to keep harping me about it.”

“You can do better than him,” Michael said.

I scoffed. “Like you?”

His jaw clenched, and I knew I had him.

“You’re getting too worked up for someone who called out sick. You should go home.”

He crossed the room and went for his coat. “I’m leaving now.”

I touched his arm, and he froze. I immediately pulled it back and looked up into his piercing eyes. “I’m not done with you yet.”

He stared at the spot where I touched him. “Well, I am.”

I inhaled sharply, holding my breath for a second before letting it go. My frustration with Michael ebbed and flowed like the ocean. One minute I could see us together and the next I wanted to punch him in the arm. His need to be cryptic all the time made my brain hurt. He was a puzzle that was missing several pieces, and I had the strong need to solve it.

He was the worst kind of man for me, and yet I wanted him more and more each day. I was a hopeless case.

“Where are you going?” I asked, fully expecting him not to tell me.

He stepped closer to me and sighed. “My brother’s club.”

And I knew that was the truth. “What about the Murphy file? Don’t you need to work on that?” I knew I had to leave soon, but if Michael wasn’t involved with the mob, I wanted to keep him away from his brother for as long as possible. From what the detectives said, they were looking into his brother next. I didn’t want to tell Michael what to do in regards to his family, but this wasn’t a safe move for him.

“It will have to wait.”

“Do you and your brother know something about Sal Rossi that the police don’t?” I asked. It was the question that burrowed a hole inside of me.

Michael closed the distance between us, grabbing onto my arms and pulled me close to him.

My head dropped back, and I became lost in his eyes. They were filled with concern. “Don’t speak his name again. Ever.” His words were slow and deliberate. Almost as if he were attempting to hypnotize me into listening to him.

His grip tightened. Not enough to hurt me but to send a message about the seriousness of the situation.

I nodded, unable to form words. From what I gathered, Michael was in some sort of trouble. And whether that involved the mob or not, I was worried for him.

His gaze dropped to my lips, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me.

An intense sensation rippled through my body. I wanted him to kiss me more than anything, to remind me of how good it felt to be close to him, to be wanted like a man like him.

He leaned his head down, and I closed my eyes as he closed the space between us.

I waited for his lips to touch mine but they didn’t. My eyes fluttered open, and Michael hadn’t moved from his spot. I leaned my head back to get a better look at him.

He cleared his throat and released me from his grasp. “Rainey, you should go home and rest. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will,” I said with bravado, while inside I was shaking.

Then he left the room and strode down the hallway toward the elevators.

Sandra glanced up at him and then over to me. She shook her head and returned to her work.

I touched my lips, still feeling Michael’s breath on them. What was I doing? He had been this close to kissing me. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to, but I had been powerless to stop him. My heart wanted him to kiss me like he did at the lodge while I knew it was a stupid idea to get involved again. He threw mixed signals at me, and I couldn’t decipher what I wanted.

He had to feel the same way. But I shouldn’t have any feelings for him. He had dangerous secrets. Even if it was only his brother involved with the mob that still was one degree closer than I wanted to be to that organization.

Instead of wanting to kiss him, I should be running the other way.

But for some reason, my feet were firmly planted into the ground. How much trouble was I going to get into wanting to be with this man?

I took a few minutes to collect myself and then went home as he requested.

When I got there, Tanner was still fast asleep. At least he’d never know I left. Mom went downstairs to make soup for lunch, and I flopped onto the couch and turned on the television. I was way past the point of sleeping. Instead, I wanted to numb my brain until I could float away in oblivion, at least for a little while.

I watched a few old episodes of a medical drama while checking in with Tanner now and then. The water in the glass on his bedside table had gone down, so I knew he had been drinking some before going back to bed.

When Mom arrived around lunch time, I gently woke him up to get something in his stomach. He was happy to see his grandmother and enjoy her soup.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, touching his forehead. He was still warm but not hotter than before. Hopefully whatever he had left his body soon.

“I’m okay,” he said. “But I’m not tired anymore. Can I watch television after lunch?”

“For a little while,” I said. “Then it's straight back to bed for you.”

I didn’t have to force him into bed. Within minutes of watching one of his favorite cooking shows after lunch, he was fast asleep on the couch.

I put a blanket over his small body and closed the shades so the sunlight streaming in from the windows wouldn’t wake him.

“Shall I make some tea?” Mom asked.

“Sure,” I said. My hangover was long gone, but my throat was a little sore. I guessed that was more from laughing and shouting the night before than actually being sick.

Mom started boiling the water then opened a plastic container that she brought up with the soup.

“Biscotti?” I said.

“Dad stopped by the bakery this morning. I thought you could use a pick-me-up,” she said.

I grabbed one and bit in. The crunchy goodness filled my mouth, and I instantly perked up.

“Let’s sit down,” Mom said.

I frowned, but she pretended not to notice. “Let’s sit down,” was her way of saying “let’s talk.” And I already knew what she wanted to talk about.

She was the first to speak, “I know you think I'm an older woman who probably has no idea what you're going through.”

“I never said that.”

“It's what you're thinking. And since you got that job you've been distancing yourself from me. And the last time you did that was when you were dating Killian.”

I remembered that time vividly. She'd tried to warn me early on in my relationship with him but I was stupid and in love. And while I never regretted my path since it gave me Tanner, I often regretted how I treated my family who were only trying to protect me.

And Mom had been there through the divorce with no questions asked. Becoming a mother has changed my perspective on life, and we were closer now than ever, but I still felt guilty each time I was reminded of that period in my life.

“But this time is different,” she said.

“How so?” For a moment there, I thought she was comparing my relationship with Michael to mine with Killian. I'd compared it that way as well, but apparently, Mom had another idea.

“You're in your head about someone,” she said. “And I won't ask who unless you want to tell me.”

I slowly shook my head. I wouldn't want to see her disappointment when she found out I almost slept with my boss. I already didn't deserve the amount of love and attention she gave Tanner and me. It would kill her after all the hard work we'd done to get me to this point. At least I thought it would, and I wasn't willing to do that again. At least not until I knew something was real. Either with or without Michael.

“You're torn up about it. And I wanted to tell you it's okay to take a chance on love again. They don't all end the way you and Killian did.”

The tea kettle whistled, and she got up to turn off the stove.

It took that moment to inhale deeply. After the confrontation and almost-kiss with Michael this morning I knew he harbored the same feelings for me as I did him. I started to lose my resolve to keep him as just my boss. Hadn't we already crossed a line? Would it be awkward for the rest of our working relationship? And what if he got a new girlfriend at some point? I hated the idea of him with anyone.

Mom came back to the table and poured the hot water into our mugs.

“I won't pry unless you want to tell me anything. I know how stubborn you can be,” she said with a smile. “But I wanted to tell you I'm here for you.”

I nodded and then heat flashed behind my eyes. I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. So I took a deep breath and told her everything.