Chapter 63

Michael

After our kiss and discussion about Rainey’s past, while we were on the private beach, the gap in our relationship had lessened. Though afterward, we shared a relaxing dinner by the pool and didn’t mention any progression for ourselves within that relationship. After putting myself out there, I felt a little exposed, but I didn’t push her. Sure, she had told me her ex was a dick and that her son was the light of her life, but she had to work on her issues before we made ourselves official. She knew my feelings. I had to trust that she would come back to me when she was ready.

When dinner was over, Rainey stood up and excused herself.

She kissed me on the cheek, an apparent rejection after the kiss we had in town, and went into the house.

I sat by the pool, finishing my whiskey and contemplating life. I hadn’t remembered feeling this way since I first dated Cynthia. The anticipation of what the other was thinking drove me insane. I could have drunk the rest of the night, but I wanted to be clear-headed in the morning. I left the remaining liquid in the glass and retired to bed.

I wasn’t sure if it was by accident or that I wanted to give Rainey an opportunity to come to me, but I left my bedroom door open. And only fifteen minutes since changing and getting into bed, there was a small knock on my door.

I put down the novel I’d randomly chosen from the private library and glanced over at Rainey.

I swallowed. She wore that black negligee that I saw in her bag on the way to the plane.

She chewed on her lip and rubbed one of her hands down her arm as if she were cold.

I sat up straighter. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she said. “May I come in?”

“Absolutely,” I said, adjusting myself. My cock had hardened at the sight of her.

She sat on the edge of the ottoman situated at the bottom of the bed. “I’ve been thinking all day about our conversation.”

I nodded, holding back the urge to say anything. I didn’t want to shatter the little moment we were sharing. Sometimes Rainey ran away from confrontation. The perfect example was earlier today when we returned to the house.

“We have something special,” she continued. “At least we do in my mind. You bring out the absolute best and worst in me.” She smiled and let out a little laugh.

Where was she going with this? Was she letting me down? Why was she still hesitant to be with me? I could give her everything. What else could she possibly be looking for?

“I wanted this to work out,” she said.

And there was the clincher. She was letting me down easy. My instinct to fight flared up within me. Why was she so fucking stubborn? She mirrored my thoughts completely. We brought out the good and the bad in each other. Shouldn’t a relationship be about balance and openness?

“Is that all you came to tell me? I thought you were in bed,” I said, unable to hide the disappointment from my voice. It was useless to argue with her when she had an idea stuck in her head.

“I wasn’t in bed,” she said, avoiding my question. “I called home. I missed Tanner.”

I glanced at the clock. There wasn’t much of a time difference. “Does he normally stay up late?”

“No,” she said with a small smile. “My mother woke him up. He’s not like a toddler. He can quickly fall back to sleep.”

I had no background with children, but I heard kids were tough to get to sleep when they were younger. “That’s nice.”

“I missed him,” she said offhandedly.

It must be nice to have someone like that in her life. Someone to worry about and to say goodnight to each day. It was something I had with Cynthia, but I had been single for far too long that I forgot what it felt like. Rainey was the person I thought about at the beginning and end of each day, but I didn’t believe the feeling was mutual.

“Having him in my life is the best,” she said. “Even though sometimes it hurts when I miss him. He’s the last thing I think about before bed, and the first thing on my mind in the morning. That little man has a stranglehold on my heart.”

I swallowed. She had to have some idea that she did the same thing to mine. She was my sun while I was the planet rotating in her orbit. Did this conversation have a deeper meaning? Was she telling me something or did she just want to talk about her son because she could? Did she know what she did to me? This was complicated enough. My motivation for getting deeper into her life was for us to grow closer, not for us to remain in a professional relationship forever.

I debated pushing the envelope. What did I have to lose? We already kissed so I knew she felt something for me. She might not be ready to commit, but with Rainey, it seemed she needed a small shove in any direction to go anywhere beyond her comfort zone. And then the words tumbled out anyway. “Is there any more of your heart to spread around?”

Her eyebrows drew together. “Why do you ask?”

“You, Rainey,” I started, locking eyes with her. “You’re the first thing I think about each morning.”

Her eyes widened.

“I think about you all day. And you’re the last thought I have before bed.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” I said. Why did she think so little of herself? How many times did I have to remind her of how I felt about her? She wasn’t a needy child, but a strong, sexy woman. She had to know that. “I wanted you back at work so I could be close to you, even if that meant we weren’t together. I want to be with you. So badly. You have no idea what you do to me. I had to work extra hard just to be your boss, but I want so much more. And I have a feeling you do too. I want us to be honest with each other. I’m throwing all the cards onto the table.”

She looked away and moved her gaze to her hands. They were clasped tightly in her lap.

“I wish I could have made you miss me in the way you miss Tanner,” I said. My mouth went dry the moment I finished speaking. The awkwardness of putting everything on the line was incredible. I commanded every room I walked into, but with Rainey, she was the one who held my favor. I wanted always to put her first. And now she held my heart in her hands. Was she going to cherish or crush it?

Several seconds ticked by, my heart beat keeping time. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Was she looking for a way to let me down easy? Was that kiss earlier that afternoon the last one? I’d used this trip as a way for us to grow closer. Maybe the only way I could have Rainey in my life was with a professional relationship. Maybe it was time to move on. I wasn’t sure what else I could do.

Rainey stood up. And for a moment, I thought she was going to leave. The muscles in my legs twitched. I hated when she left me when things got too difficult for her to handle. I wasn’t going to let that happen. This was the moment of truth. Whatever she said now was the deciding factor in our lives together. I couldn’t continue to allow her to string me along. It wasn’t fair.

Instead of her walking out of my room and me chasing after her, demanding to know how she felt, she closed the door to my bedroom. She turned around, her eyes slowly lifted to mine as she locked the door. She moved tentatively toward the bed, stopped at the edge where she was sitting before. Instead of sitting again, she took two more hesitant steps and sat on the side of the mattress. Her ass was inches from my hand.

She licked her lips and locked eyes with me. “I did miss you. Every second since we were apart. And even though I’ve worked within feet of you, I still missed you then.”

She touched my hand, and I turned it, clasping it in mind. We’d already fucked several times, but this gesture was unlike the rest. It seemed more intimate. As if I stripped off my clothes and stood before her, holding my heart out for her to take.

Before I knew it, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine. They were warm. The faint scent of mint toothpaste lingered on my lips. Did she come into my room prepared to tell me this? That she thought about me in the same way as I did her?

She sure knew how to drag on the suspense.

I smiled against her lips.

She broke the kiss first. I pushed a chunk of her hair behind her ear, and she leaned into my touch.

This was it for us. Rainey had made her decision, and I intended to seal the deal, showing her exactly how I felt about her.

She lifted the duvet cover off me and slid into bed. Her hand rested on my stomach. The touch seared my soul.

“Rainey, are you sure?” I asked. I didn’t ask her last time, and she quit on me. I told her what was in my heart and I didn’t want her to break it if she wasn’t ready.

She kissed me and broke the seal between my lips with her tongue. “Yes,” she hissed against my mouth.

I shoved the rest of the covers off me, feeling as if I were about to burst into flames. I scooted her under me, unwilling to let her get away from me ever again.

Then, I lowered my lips to hers.