Nineteen

The next week was strangely quiet. Hunter stopped his verbal assault about my secret, for which I was grateful, but it only meant that he was using other means to try and get it out of me. Lull me into a false sense of security, or something like that. I knew he wasn’t giving up. I’d just have to get him out first. Or at least find out what his was.

Something that distracted me from Hunter was Renee. She had been really weird and secretive. She’d be gone for abnormally long amounts of time to the library and she’d come back with a goofy grin on her face. I asked her if she’d met a cute boy in the stacks, but she just smiled and said I’d understand someday.

Darah had even tried to get it out of her, but had gotten zilch. One night when Mase was over and we were having dinner while Renee was out again, we discussed the possibilities.

“It’s got to be Paul,” Hunter said. I agreed, but I wasn’t going to admit it.

“She’s got to be hooking up with someone and not telling us about it,” I said.

“Renee is terrible at keeping secrets. Why would she suddenly be good at it?” Darah said.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, but the last thing she’d ever do is admit she’s been wrong. You know she hates that more than anything else.”

“True. But I saw Paul a couple of days ago and he didn’t say anything about it.”

“That’s weird,” I said.

The mystery of Renee was solved that night when I heard a crash in the living room and then loud giggling.

“Hey, wake up and put your pants on,” I hissed at Hunter, grabbing his boxers and throwing them at him. 

“It’s got to be Renee,” he said. “Sounds like her laugh.” Then we heard a male voice.

“Looks like we’re going to solve the mystery of her study dates.” I stood behind him as he went to open the door and see what was going on.

He counted to five under his breath before he did it.

“Oh my God,” I said, averting my eyes. Renee and Paul were all tangled up on the couch, both of them half-clothed and on their way to fully naked.

“Oh, hello,” Renee said, laughing when she saw us. Drunk. She was drunk. “This is Paul.”

“We’ve met,” I said. Paul seemed to be a little more sober and at least had the sense to look mortified.

“Nice to, ah, meet you, Paul,” Hunter said. “We’re just going to, um, go back to bed. You two… you have a nice night.”

We scurried back to our room as fast as we could.

“Oh my God,” I said when we had closed the door.

“Well, I guess the mystery is solved.” He looked at me and we started laughing, resting our backs against the door. We heard one of them get up and bump against the coffee table and then Renee laughing like a nut.

“It’s a good thing Darah’s with Mase tonight.”

“Ugh, I really don’t want to think about what’s going to happen in the room right next door. I’m gonna need my earplugs tonight.”

“Why, does other people having sex make you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s just weird. Having them right over there,” I said, pointing to the wall.

“That’s college for you.” He pushed off the door and got back into bed, flinging the boxers down on the floor and sighing. 

I looked away and got back into my bed.

“You’re not jealous, are you? That you’re not the one getting lucky?”

“She’s drunk. She probably won’t even remember it.”

“You are jealous. Well, Missy. I’ve told you we can fix these things.”

“Why does everything come down to sex with you?”

“It’s not just about the sex, Missy. Although, that part is a lot of fun. It’s the other stuff. Waking up naked next to someone and knowing you’ve shared something. That you were connected, if only for a few minutes.”

“Is that what it’s like for you?” I couldn’t imagine having that kind of connection with Chastity or whoever else he’d had sex with.

“It would be with you.”

“It isn’t with everyone?”

“Well, do you connect with everyone you’ve been with?” Oh shit. I hadn’t expected him to turn this around on me.

“No,” I said too quickly. Goddamn.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, sitting up and clutching the blanket so it wouldn’t fall and uncover him.

“What?”

“You’re a virgin.”

“I am not,” I said, sounding very much like someone who was lying.

“Shit. Oh, shit.” He was acting like he’d just run over a puppy with his car.

“I’m going to bed,” I said, because I didn’t really have anything else to say.

“Is that it? Your big secret?”

 Oh, if only it was that. 

I didn’t answer.

“I feel like I’ve defiled you now. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why does it matter? Great, now you know I’m a freak. Congratulations.”

“That’s not what I meant. Christ.”

I was mortified and I didn’t know why it bothered me so much. It wasn’t a secret I guarded that closely, but it ran very close to the one I did. This was why I hadn’t wanted Hunter to get close. Because of this moment.

“You should have said something. I would have stopped.”

“I’m not a child, Hunter.”

“I know, but I wouldn’t have said all those things if I had known.”

“Really? Really?” I sat up, finally glaring at him. 

“Maybe? I don’t know. You just seemed so confident.”

“You mean slutty.”

“No. I definitely didn’t mean that. You’re not that kind of girl. I just meant that you seemed like you had experience, that you knew what you were doing. I guess… Wow.”

He shook his head back and forth in disbelief. 

“Are you really a virgin?”

I took a deep breath before I answered. 

“Yes.” 

“But you’ve done other stuff? Like physically?”

“If you’re asking if I’ve ever given or received oral sex or been fondled, the answer is no. I have been kissed, and my boob got grabbed once by a guy who I’m pretty sure will never have children after I was done with him.”

For the first time ever, Hunter was speechless. Point for me.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said.

“Then here’s a thought, don’t say anything. Goodnight.”

“No, no, no. We are talking about this.”

 I heard him reach for his boxers, and then a shirt. Hmm. A minute later, the end of my bed dipped.

“Hey, talk to me. I just… it just seems unfathomable that it hasn’t happened yet. If you were to yell out the window right now that you were a virgin, there would be at least a hundred guys lined up within five seconds.”

“Whatever.” I refused to turn over and look at him. I just wanted him to go to bed so I could continue to die inside in peace.

“No one’s ever even tried?”

“No.” Sure, I’d been asked out, but I’d never gone. And anyone who tried anything usually wound up with a very sore crotch.

“Then there must be something in the water where you live that alters logic. You should probably alert someone about that, because that’s completely crazy.”

“They called me the Ice Queen,” I mumbled.

“What?”

“They called me the Ice Queen,” I said, rolling over. Maybe if I satisfied his curiosity, he’d go away.

“They did not. You?”

“I guess I was chillier when I was in high school. Maybe you thawed me.”

His hand touched my shoulder. 

“I’m sorry about everything.” 

“You don’t have to be sorry. Just think before you speak next time. You don’t want to go around insulting virgins. We can be fierce when we want to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Goodnight.” He finally got up and went back to his bed. “Oh, and if you ever decide to turn in that V card, I’m here. Just so you know.”

“I’m well aware.”

“Good. Because we could be amazing. You and me.”

“Goodnight,” I said for what felt like the millionth time.

“Goodnight, Missy.”

*****

Hunter was ridiculously nice to me for the next two weeks as we passed from the last gasps of summer into fall. 

Fall was my favorite season. Not only because my birthday was in November, but because of Halloween and crunchy leaves and pumpkin-scented things and hats and cute scarves. What wasn’t to like about fall? I couldn’t think of anything.

I usually got the baking bug in the fall as well, and one night I made pumpkin cookies with cream cheese frosting that made Renee propose to me, on one knee and everything.

“Thanks , babe,” Paul said as he reached for another. Since Renee had brought him home, Paul had become a fixture in our apartment. He and Hunter hit it off right away and had already had several extremely intense Halo tournaments and guitar jam sessions. Paul had a guitar as well, and wasn’t that bad. Renee would sit and watch, tapping her hand and bopping her head and yelling out requests. 

I’d never seen her so happy. She was grinning from ear to ear most of the time, and she was always touching him and laughing with him and kissing him. He was sweet and fun and kind of a dork. I liked him even more than I did when they dated last time. He seemed more settled. More mellow.

Between Paul, Hunter and Mase, we had quite a male presence in our place. Add Sean and Dev and we had quite a posse. I got used to having a million people around, all climbing over one another. Dinners were a production, so we made sure we had something for everyone. Somehow, even though I was the youngest, I’d become sort of a mom to them all. When we had dinner no one remembered to grab a napkin, and they always needed something and I was usually the one to get up and get it.

I was still wearing the ring. I only took it off to shower, and my hand felt cold and naked without it. Hunter hadn’t made further mention of the cost, and I had kind of let it go. Or so he thought. I was determined to find out where he got the cash. I knew he wasn’t selling drugs, or robbing banks or anything like that, but I knew it had something to do with Joe. It just had to.

The same night I made the pumpkin cookies I was cleaning up our bedroom, or at least my side of it, when I saw what looked like a crumpled up check. Puzzled, I unfolded it.

It was made out to Hunter in the amount of five thousand dollars.

“Holy shit,” I said, dropping the check.

“What are you doing?” a voice said behind me. A Hunter voice.

“Cleaning. And stop sneaking up on me.”

“What were you holy shitting?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” I tried to push the check with my foot so it would go under a t-shirt I hadn’t picked up yet, but he caught me. Boy was too damn observant.

“Then why are you trying to hide it?”

“Hide what?”

“You’re not a moron and you can’t play one very well.” He reached for the check, but I got there first.

“Then why don’t you tell me what the hell this is?” I held it in front of his face and watched as all the color drained. Impressive.

“Give it back.” He reached for it, but I’d been to kickboxing this week, and my reflexes were on.

“Tell me what it is.”

“Give. It. Back,” he said through clenched teeth.

 I stepped back, putting the check behind my back. He was going to get hold of it, because, let’s face it, he was taller and stronger. But at least I might be able to find out what this was all about.

“Tell me what it is. Where did you get this kind of money?”

“Give. Me. The. Check.”

 I’d never seen Hunter so angry. Never. His blue eyes blazed with it. For the first time, I was scared of him. Didn’t mean I was going to give it to him before I found out what the hell it was.

“Tell me,” I said softly, backing up until my back hit my bed.

“I swear to God, if you don’t give that to me in the next five seconds, I’m going to take it from you and I’m not going to be very nice about it.”

I shook my head.

“Fine.”

He dived at me, knocking me back so we were on my bed. I fought, but he had weight and momentum on his side.

“Get off me!”

“Not until you give it to me.”

“Tell me and I will.”

That only seemed to make him madder, and he grabbed my arm, wrenching it around as I fought.

“You’re hurting me.”

He didn’t answer.

We continued to struggle as he finally got hold of it.

“Thank you. Now get the fuck out,” he said as he got up. I was panting, but he wasn’t. But at least we were both pissed now.

“What?” 

“Get the fuck out,” he roared. 

“Where am I supposed to go?”

“That’s not my problem.”

“I’m not leaving,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Then I’m going to have to remove you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

 With steel in his eyes, he reached for me. I thrashed, but he threw me over his shoulder and marched out the door, past Renee and Paul, who were having a tickle fight on the couch, and out to the hallway where he dumped me. I tried to get a good kick or punch in, but he was able to avoid them.

“Don’t touch my stuff. Ever.” He shut the door in my face and clicked the lock.