Rylan
“Stay,” she whispers for the second time this evening.
Blush stains her cheeks as she asks her unspoken question.
“I mean it seems silly… I’m picking you up tomorrow anyway...”
I sweep a strand of hair off her forehead.
I’ve found myself at her front door once again, the two of us alone under the stars.
Her arms are wrapped around my waist, tugging me tight against her, while one of my hands is resting on the back of her neck, the other cupping her jaw.
I’m not sure I’ll ever tire of the feel of her mouth on mine. Even now, we’ve been apart only thirty seconds or so, and I’m already yearning for more.
“It does seem silly,” I murmur before brushing my lips ever so softly against hers again.
She sighs, a soft, breathy sound that I’m beginning to really love.
I want to stay, God do I want to stay here with her all night, but I won’t – that much I already know.
Not yet.
“Oh wow, I’ve just realised what I’ve implied…” Her face somehow manages to go a deeper shade of red. “I’m not talking about sex… I just thought we could sleep next to one another…”
I’m biting back a smile as she stumbles over her words, her nerves blindingly obvious.
“I’m digging myself a hole here; can you say something please?”
“Breathe, Violet.”
She nibbles on the corner of her lip and forces her eyes to meet mine.
She’s so beautiful it pains me – she appeals to me in a way no woman ever has.
I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is about her that I find so intriguing, it’s not just her eyes, but the stories that they tell and the secrets they keep, it’s not just her lips, but the way they move and the seduction they exude. Every feature on her face is not only pretty, but filled with depth, knowledge and power too.
To top it all off, she’s got absolutely no comprehension of how stunning she is and that only adds to the appeal of her.
“I know you didn’t mean sex.” I grin at her, both because I’m amused and because I want her to relax.
I never considered for a second that she would be inviting me up to spend the night with her in that way – things might be moving fast, and I might already like her more than any woman I’ve ever dated, but neither of us is ready for that yet.
When that time does finally come, I’m going to make sure I do it the right way. I’ve got a pretty strong hunch that Violet isn’t equipped with a whole lot of knowledge on this particular topic, so I want to take things slow.
“And even though I can think of nothing more satisfying than having you fall asleep next to me, I think we should take a rain check, okay?”
“You’re such a gentleman,” she teases.
I might not have been this way my whole life, but she brings the chivalrous side out in me… she makes me want to say and do things that will sweep her off her feet.
“Can I make a confession?” I ask her.
She nods at me and smiles. Those gorgeous little dimples appear in her cheeks and for a second I can’t remember what it was I was planning to confess.
She raises her brows in question.
“These past few days, every moment I’m not with you… I’m wishing I was.”
She doesn’t say anything, but the huge smile on her face is enough of a reply for me.
She’s happy, really happy, and that’s when it hits me – If I never achieve another thing in this lifetime, then I would still die a satisfied man.
Leaving her just now was the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time.
Especially after meeting her family – they’re what a family should be… loving, warm and welcoming.
I’ve not been part of a family like that in a long time, but I truly felt as though I was tonight. They welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like I belonged there.
I hope I do belong there – right there with her.
Hanging out with her, Emmett and Lucy had been as easy as breathing. I can picture us as two couples, off in the distant future. We’re friends – we’re in each other’s lives constantly. The minute the image hits my mind I realise just how badly I want exactly that.
I want it all. Her family, her friends, but most importantly, I want her.
It would have been so easy to stay… to fall asleep with her in my arms, but I had to leave.
I know she’s beginning to trust me, I can see it in her eyes. Just the fact that she invited me into her home, let alone her bed tells me that.
But she hasn’t found the time to tell me about her heart yet – which means she doesn’t trust me entirely.
I’m more than aware it’s up to me to earn that trust from her.
Nothing comes free in this world and having faith in a person is probably the biggest testament to that.
She needs to understand I’m in this for a long time, not just a good time, and until she does, I’ll be kissing her goodnight at her front door and not between her sheets.
The fact that I was able to do it – that I found it within me to walk away from her when I so effortlessly could have stayed, has given me the strength to do something that I haven’t done in a long time.
I know it’s kind of creepy to visit a cemetery so late at night, but it’s been far too long since I was here, and I have a feeling I won’t be able to sleep a wink until I’ve done this.
I need to talk to my sister, and even though I live in the house she once called home, this is the only place that I seem to be able to feel close to her anymore.
It probably makes me appear crazy – coming to a ghost for advice, but I don’t have anywhere else to go.
My father’s been gone a long, long time. My mother doesn’t even recognise me anymore, and I don’t have a lot of friends left.
You spend three years drowning in grief, throwing yourself into your work and pushing people away, and eventually they stay there.
I learnt that the hard way.
There’s only so much you can do for someone that doesn’t want to help themselves, and while, on the outside, I might have appeared to be together and whole – I’ve actually been anything but.
Daisy was my rock, my sounding board and my best friend. Losing her destroyed me.
And she might be gone, but I still need her now.
I’d give anything to hear her voice again, even just one more time. I know that I won’t get to – that miracles like that don’t happen in real life, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing for it.
I want to tell her about Violet so badly it hurts.
I know she would have loved her. I don’t see how anybody couldn’t… she’s so pure, and sweet and good.
She’s so damn easy to love.
The realisation that I’m falling for her doesn’t scare me the way that I expected it would. My cold, black heart somehow still beats in rhythm and now it’s as though it’s beating just for her. Ever since she fell into my orbit I’ve felt a sense of purpose again.
I smile.
I laugh.
I’m enjoying my life – I’m actually living it.
No longer am I just floating through my days. I’m grounded and I’m feeling… I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before.
I approach the spot where my sister was laid to her final rest and I whisper into the darkness.
“I found her, Daisy… I think I’ve found the one.”