Rylan
I can’t even remember the last time I had what I would call a good dream.
It’s not that my nights are filled with nightmares or the stuff from horror films, but I haven’t had that feeling where you wake up smiling in a really long time.
But I’m smiling now, and I know Violet is the reason for that.
Last night was even better than the first we spent together.
I can’t recall a time where I’ve felt so content in someone’s presence.
She’s not like others. She’s got more depth than half the people I’ve met thus far in life put together, and when I talk, she listens, really listens to the words I’m saying… but more than that, I think she understands my reasons for saying them too.
She’s funny, considerate and so, so beautiful.
I can’t stop myself from looking at her. I know she notices it; the stain of blush on her cheeks assures me she’s aware, but she’s not once complained.
I smile again as I picture her hand in mine. My skin still tingles in the spot where it met hers. It’s unbelievable really; I never thought a walk and a scoop of ice cream could bring me so much happiness.
Happiness… it’s something I wasn’t sure I’d truly experience again. My sister dying sort of sucked all the joy from my life, but ever since I met Violet, I feel it again.
It’s there.
And when I kissed her goodbye, under the stars and the moon once again, I’d felt the last of my reservations slip away.
She is the girl with the blue eyes – the girl who gave me hope.
I’ve got no choice but to see where this goes, and even if I did have the ability to choose, I know that she’s what I’d decide on.
This is one of those situations in life where it seems as though it’s less about me making a choice, than it is about a choice making me.
I’ve had moments since I made this realisation where I don’t understand why I couldn’t have met her then, why we couldn’t have had the past three years to get to know each other instead of just the past few days.
The past three days have been better than I thought was possible, whereas I’ve endured these past three years.
There’s no other way to describe it. I get by okay now, but when I’m with Violet, it doesn’t feel like just ‘getting by’, it feels like living.
I realise in an instant that it doesn’t matter why or how this has all come to be, all that matters is that she’s here – that she’s in my life now.
Maybe it is fate – Daisy was always a big believer in fate.
Maybe this is our time.
Maybe I wasn’t meant to meet her three years ago… neither of us were in a place where we could have been ready for another person in our lives… but I think we’re both there now.
I think I’m ready for not only someone, but for her… I hope to God that she’s ready for me too.
She’s on my mind so constantly, there’s no space for darkness anymore.
Once again, she is my light.