At that point in my history, I was still notorious at school for being the good girl cheerleader with the bad, bad boy. It was a truly great feeling. It was like being a badass, but without the juvenile detention record.

Not much has changed. I still like danger.

Taylor picked me up every day in his sweet metallic silver Camaro, and I’d run out in my too-short cheer uniform and hop in the passenger seat. He’d drive away so fast, I’d nearly throw up. We had a routine, and I’d hoped it would never end, as kids do when they’re young.

Every day, he’d drive away from the confines of school and park behind the Green Acres dairy farm. Just as I knew might happen, he’d swoop up without notice under my skirt. He’d just put his head under it and take over. It’s like he couldn’t get enough. I know I couldn’t.

Some days, I thought I might fly off the planet he’d have me so hot. Sometimes he’d tease me, stopping right in the middle to light a Camel and look out the window in a squinting manner, leaving me wet and throbbing. I’d look over and he’d be contemplating some critical life decision— or at least that’s what I thought then.

He’d hold his cigarette with his thumb and forefinger and smoke out of the corner of his mouth. I’d look at him like really? and he’d ignore me just a tad bit too long until I relaxed, and then he’d take me again.

I would be moaning and sometimes screaming, and there was nothing I could do but surrender to it. I’d get so wet just replaying our afternoon activities in my mind over dinner during a conversation, that I’d have to leave the table. I figured then that if he ever left me, I’d probably never feel that kind of heat again. That part may have been right on.

Jake wasn’t nearly that outrageous, or at least I didn’t think so, and I craved the element of danger. I noticed him trying to get my attention a few times, but it wasn’t to be for a long time. I was Taylor’s girl, and that was that.

The summer of my junior year, I went to drop something off for my dad at Burlington Heights Community College. The football team would sometimes have scrimmages on their field, and there he was, Jake Wharton, now a junior.

Holy delayed puberty! This was not the scrawny guy from years ago, and I suddenly couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was a quarterback on the football team now: muscular, and absolutely beautiful.

He had the same dark wavy hair and olive skin, but the bulging biceps and washboard abs made it hard to believe he was the same gangly teenager all grown up. After I dropped off my dad’s files, I went to sit in the bleachers and watch him play.

Taylor had cheated on me multiple times by that point, and I was over the whole bad boy thing anyway. As far as I was concerned, Jessie could have him.

I watched Jake coordinate plays with his wide receiver. I watched him run and throw and connect the plays, and I remember thinking right in that moment, as if someone had handed me a script, I am going to marry that boy someday.

After the scrimmage, I ran down to catch up with him. Much to my surprise, so did several other girls. I pushed my way to the front and called to him.

“Hey, you. How goes it? Congrats on making first string quarterback for varsity. That means we’re gonna see quite a lot of each other.”  

He barely noticed me, throwing me just a cursory glance.

“Yeah, cool.”

One thing about my personality that has always served me well is that I never lose, and I thought, Oh no, he did not just ignore me!

I walked right over to him and barked at him.

“What, are you so conceited now that you think you’re too good for me? Better get over yourself. You haven’t won a game yet, and you’d better hope I’m cheering loud and not just saving face because it’s fourth quarter and you blow it. That wouldn’t be a good look. Oh, and by the way, I won’t cheer you on if you suck. See ya.”

I stormed away, letting him watch my ass. When I looked back, he was watching me leave, and right there I knew I had him. I looked away and kept walking, and by the time I made it to the parking lot, there he was.

“Hey, Carolina. What was that about? You took it the wrong way, I think. I’m not that guy. I’m not conceited at all. Anyway, are you still with Taylor?”

I laughed and shook my head no.

“Great. Want to grab coffee with me at Grecco’s? I need a huge coffee frapp or something. I’m beat. They are the best the way Martha makes them. Want to join?”

I smiled, nodded again, and hopped on his super sexy motorcycle, leaving my car in the lot. To say I had a knack with men back then was an understatement.

From that point on, we were inseparable, right up until the day we married on my eighteenth birthday. We eloped, actually.

He jumped out of bed one day after a completely epic round of lovemaking and said, “Let’s just do it. Fuck it. I don’t want to wait until we have the money or your parents think we’re ready. I’m ready. You’re ready. Let’s do it.”

And we did it. We went up to a local ski resort and hired a minister to do the do, and that was it. The chair lift on the way down said Just Married.

It should have said “just out of diapers,” but who knew? I thought I had it all figured out back then. Jake and I decided right away that we’d have kids. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and he felt really good about his options for getting a coaching job.

He had been recruited to a top school for football, and he played all four years. He didn’t make the pros as he’d hoped, but he majored in sports medicine and had big dreams. Unfortunately, I really didn’t. Only the little dreams, as I'd said.

I graduated from high school and kind of skated through college taking fluff classes and cheering. I thought maybe I’d major in accounting, but when that was too hard, I opted for an associate’s degree in business.

So, while Jake finished his last two years, I clubbed by night and cut hair or babysat by day. It was fine. I really had no ambitions beyond having Jake’s kids and being the coach’s wife. That was my plan, and I was fine with it.

But, as I said, plans change. Mine sure have, without any input or agreement from me. Apparently, plans don't require one's permission to change.

So, just when I thought sending my resume had been a complete waste of time, Garrett Mack had called me directly. Not an office manager, not someone from HR, but the lawyer for whom I’d be working, himself.

I had just about fallen out of my chair when I answered the phone and he was on the line. After so many false starts, I couldn’t believe an actual job lead was calling me.

"I wanted to let you know, I'd like to give you a chance to work for me," he'd said.

He sounded dignified, sophisticated, so much so that my panties dampened at the sound of his voice.

It's just because he's so important, I'd told myself. I really need this job—hell, any job— and the founding partner is calling me.

I had to admit to myself that it might be more than that. I hadn't had sex since Jake took off, and by then things had cooled off considerably in the lovemaking department.

Jake and I never had the kind of pussy- throbbing sex that Taylor and I had had. I had justified it by telling myself that sex with the good guy you marry is different than sex with the bad boy who breaks your heart. Plus, having sex to try to procreate— and repeatedly failing— is a lot less fun than having sex when you’re young and carefree like we had been in the beginning.

Still, there was something else that could explain why I might be attracted to Garrett Mack. While researching the job in anticipation of applying, I'd seen a picture of him on the law firm website, and I had to admit that even thought he was a lot older than me, he was also way hotter than most of the guys I'd grown up with. And here he was calling me, wanting me to work for him.

That would make any straight girl soak her panties, or at least that's what I told myself to keep from feeling so silly.

I tried to forget about my strange attraction to the man on the phone offering me a job and instead just be happy that he was, in fact, offering me a job— a job I desperately need.

"Thank you," I said, very happy for the opportunity to work for him. "When do I start?"

"As soon as you can," he said, and thus my fate began to unfold—a lot sooner than I had anticipated. Even though I had to wait a couple months to get a job offer, now I was having to pack up and move across the country.

Martha tells me the move will be good for me and that she is proud of me. I just hope she’s right. I also hope I can keep my attraction to Garrett Mack under super secret cover, since I'd be a damned fool to have a crush on my new boss.