THE NEXT DAY
I spend most of the morning in the filing room, which isn’t nearly as fun as it was last night.
“You’re busy in here,” says Katie, when she comes in for a vape break.
“Yeah, Cameron has a lot of filing that needs caught up on thanks to Shirley leaving early for Florida.”
She looks at me funny.
“Uh huh.”
My statement is true. Once Shirley found out I was a suitable replacement— more than suitable; if only she knew how suitable and fully trained I am— in more ways than one although of course she didn’t know that either— she decided to take off and leave everything in my capable hands. She left a lot of filing to do, and I’ve been a little too tied up— literally— to do it all until now.
“You haven’t been in here much since advancing to your fancy new position, which I congratulate you on again, by the way,” Katie says.
“Thanks.”
She’s staring at me. She knows something’s up.
I don’t really have to be in here filing all morning. I’m just avoiding Cameron because I can’t decide if I should spill my guts now, or let him have some fun with me for a little longer, just in case it might be our last time.
I have no idea how he’ll react to the news of my past. I just know that I can’t move forward with whatever future I’m hoping we have together without telling him.
“You and Cameron did it, didn’t you?” Katie bursts out, as if she can’t possibly refrain from asking me any longer. “You did it, you did it, you did it.”
I seriously blush. I know that Katie isn’t known for her tact but I still didn’t expect her to be this brazen about asking me such a personal question.
My cheeks burn as I stick some blue square Sticky Notes on folders of Cameron’s to signify that they are the ones in Second Judicial Court.
“Come on, spill it,” Katie says. “Boss/ employee relationships are the rage around here these days. Asher and Madilyn are straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that they’re together. You can go ahead and let little old me in on the secret.”
I smile at her and sigh.
“All right,” I admit. “We did it.”
“I knew it!” she explodes. “You did it, you did it, you did it.”
“Shhhhh,” I tell her, looking around in almost as much fear of getting caught as I was in last night. But not quite that much.
“It was all the fault of your stupid book,” I tell her, nodding to where her novel had been laying in the corner.
“Faulkner?” she asks, looking down at The Sound and the Fury in confusion.
“Shit. You read fast. No, I meant the Neruda one that had been there before. ‘I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees…’”
“Ooooh.”
Recognition crosses her face.
“You were a virgin? He deflowered you?”
“Shhhhh! Katie!”
“Oh, my God. No wonder you’re blushing. No wonder you look like you’re in love.”
“I…”
I stop.
I was going to say, “I am in love.”
Shit.
I can’t be in love.
Love would ruin everything.
So, I just say, “I happened to be saving my first time for a hot, rich, older boss like him.”
“Nice,” she says, laughing. “Well, I’m glad you’re not taking it too seriously. Just have fun. That’s great.”
“Why shouldn’t I take it too seriously?”
“Oh, you know how these alpha types are. Lots of girls and all of that. I just don’t want you to get hurt, since it was your first time. I’m glad you know it was just about having fun and getting it out of your system.”
I nod.
“Has Cameron done this before?” I ask her. “Like, with former secretaries or something?”
Katie cracks up.
“With Shirley? No way. What are you smoking and can you pass some over to me?”
“Not her,” I laugh.
It was a stupid question. I had forgotten she had been his assistant for the past twenty years.
“But just with anyone, I mean?”
“Hmmm.”
She pauses for just a second, but that second is long enough to torture me.
“Not that I know of,” she concludes, and I exhale in relief, trying not to make my feelings too obvious. “But I haven’t been here all that long myself. And you know how Asher is. Or was anyway, before Madilyn.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, they’re friends. A lot of the partners here are real dogs. They make up names for the assistants based on how much they want to fuck them. I’m sure you have a real doozy of a nickname. And from what I hear, Cameron is a total player outside the office. He’s just a little smarter than Asher when it comes to not bringing it to work with him. Usually.”
She raises an eyebrow at me, as if indicating that something had changed. I guess that something is me.
“I see.”
“Yeah, just be careful with your heart. But you are. So, you’re fine.”
She smiles at me, as if that’s that.
“Yes,” I tell her. “I’m fine.”
Except I’m so not. I just realized I’m in love with a player. I can’t believe I was thinking about baring my soul— along with my body— to him.
Good thing I didn’t.
I’m going to have to try not to give him my heart. But I’m not so sure I can resist when it comes to my body. In fact, I don’t think I even want to try.