***
Drake
I held her naked body against me for a long time before we both regained enough strength to shove our clothes back on and eat. I’d love to watch Belle eat naked, but she figured it wasn’t exactly hygienic. She was probably right even if her eating with that wrinkled yellow dress on wasn’t nearly as sexy as her biting into lobster and scallops naked. As for me, I had slipped my shirt back on to deal with the cool ocean breeze that, even now, kept blowing my hair into my eyes. But I didn’t feel the need to button it.
It was freeing.
For so long, my clothes—a tank top, a t-shirt, a business suit—were my wall against the world, there to hide my shame and my failure. Now, with Belle, I didn’t give a fuck. She saw me, all of me, and she cared about me anyway.
“I’m serious about what I said. I want to have a life together when we go back to Los Angeles, and I don’t want it to be just about kinky sex.” I grinned and bit into my lobster. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the kink and the sex.”
“Because you’re basically a god at it,” she admitted.
“Oh, you’re no slouch yourself, princess,” I teased. “But this is more to me than that,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand. “This is more to me than games.”
Belle nodded, a twinkle finally returning to those sapphire eyes of hers. “I’m glad. In fact—”
A shrill noise rang out then and we both frowned at her purse.
“Huh, that’s weird. The service is only for other people on my dad’s plan, at least this far out in the Bahamas. It has to be my family.” She went pale. “Oh God, do you think that Carol squealed?”
I balled my hands up at my side. The last thing I gave a fuck about was Carol, especially since she’d left the woman I cared about feeling like shit. I hadn’t been kidding. I’d have ruined any career Carol had a hope of having if Belle let me. I still would. All my princess had to do was say the word.
“Just answer it.”
Belle nodded and turned the call on. “Hey, Dad? She what? You’re at the E.R. now? Oh, my God!” My heart stopped as I watched the pain and fear fall over Belle’s face. The tears started soon after that and her voice wavered on the phone. “Is she going to? Yeah, I’m sure I can be home in about nine hours or less. I don’t think Drake will mind me using his jet.”
“Belle?” I asked, even though I could figure out what was happening. I knew that “oh shit” look well enough. I’d seen it not that well-hidden on commanding officers back in Iraq when things went balls up.
She shook her head and focused on the call. “I’ll be there right away. Love you, Dad. Tell Mom to hang on, please.”
“What’s going on?”
“Mom collapsed. She was rushed to the E.R. and has some brain bleeding that might be a side effect of the treatment she’s on. I have to get home… they’re not even sure…” She burst into tears, and I reached over to hug her. I was shocked when she pulled away. “Don’t.”
“What?” I asked, feeling like a fucking Mack truck had just hit me.
“I can’t. All the pretty words in the world don’t matter. We can’t… I was here when she got sick. I wasn’t working fast enough on the deal. She’s possibly dying in a hospital in California, and I’m here having sex on the beach.” She bolted up to her feet, and I did the same. “I have to go.”
“Of course, you do. My plane can be ready by the time you get to the airport. I’ll come, too.”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“I said don’t.”
“What?”
She yanked up her purse and hesitated over the collar on the table. “I can’t think around you. I let myself be selfish and focus too much on only what I want. I need to be clearheaded to help Mom, if I even can. I… maybe I was lying to myself this whole time. Maybe you’re just an escape.”
I fisted my hands at my side, and when I replied my voice was low. Dangerous. “So I’m just convenient for you?”
“Maybe. I just make all the wrong choices with you. I thought it was love, but maybe it’s just the first freedom I’ve had in years. I have to go!” she shouted, turning to head back to the house.
The darkness was trying to pull me under. For the first time in weeks, another flashback was haunting me, that pain in Martinez’s eyes as he died in my arms. That was better than my best friend, than Jimmy, who’d already been in pieces due to the IED. For a moment, the humidity of the beach could have been the damn arid desert.
But I fought my way back, clawed my way to the here and now.
Reaching out, I grabbed both of her shoulders but not tightly. I wasn’t going to scare her, never again. “You can go, Belle, but don’t throw away everything we had. We meant something... mean something.”
“I don’t make the right choices when I’m with you.”
“You don’t act like a martyr with me,” I corrected. “You have a choice to live your life, too, or always beat yourself up over things you can’t control. Please, we can help your family together.”
“I can’t. Carol was right,” she said, ducking out of my grasp.
I swallowed and it felt like shattered glass lined my throat. “If that’s how you feel.”
“It’s how it has to be,” she said. Tears streamed down her face, but she was the one doing this to herself. And to us.
To me.
Shaking my head, I picked up the collar and handed it to her. “Take it. It’s yours and it’s worth a lot of money. I should know. You’re free now, Belle, like you wanted. All I ask is you take that to remember me by. Is that too distracting?”
That seemed to shake her out of her spiral just for a minute. She reached up to stroke my cheek, but I stepped out of her grasp. I didn’t need to be blown off by her. She’d said too fucking much already.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“I think you did, Belle. All this time, I bet you thought I was using you, that it was all about not getting too close to the playboy. But we were both wrong, weren’t we? You were using me, and I’m done with it. Goodbye, Belle, and have a good life.”
With that, I turned and headed out to the shore.