- BLAIR -
God, he looked tortured as he said those words. As if admitting aloud that he wanted me went against everything he believed in or what he was.
He couldn’t look at me as he said it, but I didn’t need him to.
Leaning in, I pressed my lips softly to his. The kiss was slow and reassuring—what I thought he needed in that moment.
The bathroom door swung open, so I had to step away, but it was too late. The interrupting guy was no one we knew—thank God—but that didn’t stop the look of disgust he gave us.
“Fag bar’s up the street.”
Garrett’s face paled until he looked like he was going to throw up.
I turned to the homophobe. “Yeah, I saw you there last night, asshole.” The guy’s face turned red but he didn’t have a comeback. I turned to Garrett. “Wanna get out of here?”
Shit. He’s going to bail. I could see it in his widened eyes.
“I …”
“Go. I’ll be out in a few minutes,” I said.
Garrett couldn’t get out of the bathroom fast enough.
All night, I’d watched the freak-out go from a timid nervousness to almost full-blown breakdown. I was worried I was pushing him too far, but I figured I wasn’t getting anywhere by trying to be his friend, and he needed to know he wasn’t alone.
I’d heard one too many stories about those who couldn’t come to terms with their sexuality or had no one to turn to. It didn’t matter he was a grown-ass man. That just meant he’d been holding onto it all longer than he should’ve.
There was a guy in my high school, a few years older than me, and when he came out, he was bullied to the point of needing to leave school. He apparently tried to commit suicide before his parents even realised something was wrong.
And even though we were a lot older than all that high school shit—well, most of us; clearly, the guy at the urinal had issues—since Garrett hadn’t dealt with any of the stuff he was going through, I was worried he was a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off.
While my friends and family weren’t the most supportive, I at least accepted myself. Garrett didn’t have that. I knew who I was, and I wasn’t going to apologise for it. Keep quiet about it, maybe, but I wouldn’t hide it if anyone confronted me.
With a sigh, I left the bathroom without reacting to another slur the guy at the urinal rattled off. When I made it back to our table, I couldn’t see Garrett anywhere. He wasn’t even on the dance floor.
I told myself he was probably outside getting some air and would be back, but I knew that was false hope. Especially when I noticed the chick he was dancing with was gone too.
Hunter flopped down in the seat next to me, sweaty from dancing. “Did you see Garrett already hooked up and left? I swear he’s on a streak.”
I gritted my teeth. “Lucky him. I’m not feeling it tonight.”
“Weren’t you dancing with Grace earlier? She’s awesome. I’ve worked with her a few times.”
I couldn’t say what was in my head: I’d rather go home with your brother.
“Have you slept with her?” I asked Hunter. I never knew with him.
“I wouldn’t be encouraging you to go for it if I had. I would’ve ruined her for all other men.” He smirked, and it reminded me so much of Garrett’s smile.
“How do you get girls to go home with you? Seriously?”
“It’s a gift.”
“I hope you meet a girl one day who knocks you on your ass and turns you into a bumbling idiot.” The girl he met months ago had disappeared, and he refused to talk about her.
“Where’s the fun in that? I’m getting another drink. You want anything?” He stood.
“Nah. Is it all good if I call it a night? I know it’s your birthday and all, but—”
“All good, man. Thanks for coming out.”
I stood and gave him a man-hug and then headed for the exit.
***
After waiting in line for a cab for fifteen minutes and the twenty-minute drive home, the car was pulling up outside my apartment block when I got a Facebook message on my phone.
Garrett:
What’s ur address?
Blair:
I’m not into sloppy seconds.
Yes, I was being an ass, and no, I didn’t have a right to be. I told him it was okay if he wanted to go home with the model. Yet, when he actually did it, I didn’t expect it to piss me off so much.
Garrett:
I need to see u.
I sent him my address and told myself I had to push my feelings—whatever the hell they were—for Garrett aside if I was the only person he was willing to let in.
I shucked off my shoes but didn’t bother changing my clothes. I threw myself on my couch and channel surfed awhile, but after forty minutes of waiting, I realised I was waiting up for someone who probably wasn’t going to show.
I cleaned my teeth, put on some sweatpants, and got into bed.
Sleep called to me, but my mind was overanalysing. Was he freaking out again? Did he have sex with that model chick? Was he lying in a ditch somewhere?
After twenty more minutes, and a lot of tossing and turning, there was a knock on my front door. I grumbled as I climbed out of bed and walked through to the living room in the dark.
Tripping on my shoes I left in the middle of the floor, I let out a loud “Fuck!” and heard a chuckle from outside.
When I finally reached the entrance, I turned the light switch on and almost blinded myself. Squinting, I opened the door for Garrett.
“Sorry. Olivia’s place was west of nowhere, and it took forever for a cab to come get me.”
I stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him. When I turned, he was staring at my naked chest and four-pack. No matter how much I worked out, I could never get a six-pack. Even so, there was no mistaking the lust in his eyes.
“My eyes are up here,” I joked and folded my arms.
He half-smiled. “Guess it’s true of any gender—it’s rude to stare?”
“What are you doing here?”
His smile faded as he shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet. “I don’t know,” he whispered.
I walked into my bedroom to grab a T-shirt to wear. When I came back out, Garrett was standing in the exact same spot he was before.
“Sit,” I said, gesturing to the couch.
“Do I look like a dog?”
I merely raised my eyebrows at him.
“Fine.” He took one side of the couch and I took the other.
I ran my hand over my tired face.
“Nothing happened with Olivia,” he said.
“Do you expect me to believe that?”
“That guy … in the bathroom … I may’ve panicked.”
“You do know not everyone is like that asshole, right?”
“There are a lot who are like that though. It reminded me of why I’ve denied this side of me for so long. After that, I walked right up to Olivia on the dance floor and started kissing her. So, umm, I’m sorry for that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to apologise for doing what I told you to do. You went for what you wanted.”
“But I didn’t want her. I felt absolutely nothing. I was convinced I just needed to get out of that club where I could focus more.”
“Do you hear yourself? You had to focus on enjoying something.”
He winced. “I know. I just … okay, this is probably totally crossing a line—”
“You had your tongue in a woman’s mouth not two minutes after having it in mine. I think it’d be fair to say so many lines have been crossed tonight.”
“Fair point. But … do you … I mean … have you … fuck.” He was so awkward and worked up, the words ended up tumbling out in a jumbled rush. “Do you always get off with a woman?”
I blinked at him, unsure of how to answer that. The truthful answer would be yes, but I had a feeling that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
He kept going. “I used to—okay, maybe not always—but now …”
“How so?” I turned on my side to face him.
He let out a pained groan. “God, this is embarrassing.”
“Do you mean you can’t come … or?”
“Sometimes, but tonight I couldn’t even get it up, no matter how hard I kissed her, groped her, practically mounted her in the back of the cab.”
I tried not to flinch. “Thanks for that visual.”
“Sorry. I was going to get the cabbie to take me home instead of going into her place, but then she mentioned coffee, and I thought maybe I just needed a pick me up and it’d be all good. It wasn’t. After the coffee, I knew nothing would change. I may’ve told her we did coke in the bathroom and that’s why I couldn’t get it up.”
I smiled. “How did she take that?”
“She was pissed we didn’t share.”
“Well, you did drink a bit tonight. Whiskey dick’s a real thing.” We both knew I was only trying to make him feel better. The root of his problem was not alcohol.
“God knows I’ve blamed that in the past, but tonight I had four drinks over two hours. I could probably legally drive I’m that sober.”
“Well, shit, I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say. You want me to say what you can’t say yourself? Or do you need another demonstration?” I wanted to take the words back as soon as they left my mouth. He was here, finally talking his shit out, and I went and flirted with him?
His eyes met mine, burning with heat. Another demonstration was exactly what he wanted.
Even though I knew I shouldn’t have given it to him, I couldn’t stop myself. Slowly, I shifted up onto my knees and moved close enough to him that I could throw one leg over his lap and straddle him.
His hands fisted at his sides as mine found his shoulders and trailed down to his hard chest. The memory of him earlier tonight shirtless in his bedroom made me want to see it again.
Leaning back, I reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. He didn’t even pretend to put up a fight. When his arms came back down, he wrapped them around me.
With the sight of Garrett underneath me, no shirt, no hesitance, just pure lust in his eyes, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to restrain myself. But I had to.
“I need you to tell me what you want,” I whispered.
“Didn’t we go over this in the club? I want you … any which way you’ll have me.”
I swallowed to try to wet my dry mouth.
He was hard. I could feel his erection underneath me, and I hadn’t even kissed him yet.
“I guess alcohol wasn’t the problem,” I said, slowly grinding against him for emphasis.
Garrett laughed. “I guess it wasn’t.”
It wasn’t clear if it was me who slammed my lips to his or if he pulled me towards him, but our mouths met halfway and struggled for dominance.
Unlike the kiss we shared in the bathroom of the club, this was hot, needy, and claiming.
When his tongue touched mine, I couldn’t hold in the moan I was trying desperately to keep inside.
My hand went to the back of his head. We breathed each other in, and his hands tightened, gripping my hips and moving them so I was rocking back and forth, our cocks rubbing against one another in long strokes.
God, I wanted to fuck him, but I had to remind myself he needed me to be in control. We had to go at his pace, and I wasn’t going to push him into anything he wasn’t ready for.
This was what it was—nothing more than experimentation on his part.
Garrett’s hand trailed down my chest and abs and then started rubbing over the bulge in my sweatpants.
I groaned, which made him grip me through my clothes.
He pulled his head back, prying his lips from mine. “I want to touch you.”
Slowly peeling myself off his lap, I stood in front of him and removed my shirt and then reached for my sweatpants and dropped them to the floor.
His nostrils flared as his jaw hardened, and he breathed in deep through his nose.
“Lift your hips,” I said as I undid his belt and the zipper of his jeans.
He pushed his jeans and boxers down, kicking them off along with his shoes and socks. Strong hands gripped me and pulled me down on top of him so I was straddling him again, skin to skin.
I licked my lips as I looked down at his swollen cock. It was thick. Really fucking thick. My ass clenched in anticipation. Not that I would allow that. Not this time.
Garrett’s hand wandered up my thigh until he was gripping me in his hand. Using his thumb, he wiped a pearly drop off my tip, spreading it down my shaft.
My breathing was ragged as his hand explored me.
I reached between us, bringing his cock to meet mine and then guided his hand to wrap around both of us.
“Holy fuck,” he breathed.
I had to agree. “I’m not going to last long. I’ve been thinking about this since you walked into your room only wearing a towel.”
“I’ve been thinking about this for the better part of a year,” he whispered.
I froze for a split second. Why the hell didn’t he come to me?
He used his free hand to grip the back of my neck and pull my lips towards his. His hand jacking us sped up, and his tongue kept rhythm against mine.
I was beginning to think I’d stumbled into some kind of alternate universe. For a while there, I thought I’d imagined our whole night together so many months ago.
My hips thrust forward, forcing his hand to go harder, our cocks rubbing against each other to the point of driving me insane.
With my balls aching, I knew I was close. Hold off, hold off, hold off. No matter how many times I chanted in my head, with every pull Garrett took, I was only getting closer and closer. The need for release kept building to the point I had to grit my teeth. With Garrett’s tongue in my mouth, when I bit down, he grunted and shuddered.
As he pulled his mouth from mine, he rasped out, “Shit. Can’t … I need to …”
“Come.”
At my demand, he fell apart beneath me, coming all over me, his hand, stomach, and chest. Seeing it took me with him, shooting my load over both of us as I buried my head in his shoulder.
His hand didn’t release me until I swatted it away and mumbled, “Too much.”
Garrett’s other hand trailed down my sweaty back. “That was …” He breathed deep.
“Awesome?”
“I was gonna say intense. But yeah, awesome works too,” he said breathlessly.
I pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “Are you okay? You’re not going to freak out if I get up to grab a cloth, are you?”
His lips curved up at the edges. “I can’t even move, let alone run away right now.”
“Good.” I leaned in and kissed him softly. “Because we’re not done.” Climbing off him, I made my way to the end of the hall to the bathroom.
After wiping myself down, I took Garrett a fresh wet cloth for him to do the same.
“Beer?” I asked him, grabbing my sweats off the floor and putting them back on.
“Uh, sure, I guess.” He stood to finish cleaning himself, and I had to stand back and admire his naked form.
Clearly, Garrett had no issues getting a six-pack like I did. Damn him. I was fit, but Garrett—
“I thought you were getting us beers?” he said with a wide smirk.
“Sorry. Distracted.” My eyes went back to his abs.
“My eyes are up here,” he mimicked.
With an exaggerated sigh, I went into my tiny kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge.
When I turned back around, Garrett was right there, leaning against the archway leading from the living room. His boxers and jeans were back on, but his jeans weren’t done up.
My mouth watered.
Idiot. You’ve started something now.
I handed him a beer and said the only words I could—the ones I knew he didn’t want to hear. “Now we need to talk.”