Damon
Chapter 20
I spent the night with Karis just holding her. I had slept with a lot of girls, but they had never made me feel like she did. She stared up at me with complete trust, in awe. I was in total control and I liked it. Maybe it was the new Alpha side of me or something, or maybe it was just Karis.
The mating bond did crazy things to you. I had always kept it a policy to never stay the night. This was the second time I’d fallen asleep with Karis in my arms. I didn’t want it any other way. I wanted to wake up every day holding her. I think that realization was freaking me out more than her bomb about me being Alpha.
Alpha? I didn’t even know how it was possible that this was happening to me. I kept waiting for someone to jump out and tell me it was all a dream, or some big practical joke.
I couldn’t get her words out of my head. “My mate. You. You will be Alpha.” They were on replay in my head. Me? Alpha? I had never been one to be considered modest. My ego was legendary, but this was beyond humbling. And the fact that Karis thought I was good enough to lead her Pack that clearly meant the world to her had nearly brought me to my knees. I’d never had anyone truly believe in me before.
I didn’t know if I could live up to those expectations, but I knew I’d die trying. I never wanted to let this girl down. If she had this much faith in me, then I’d do whatever it took to prove myself worthy of that.
Chase was calling before Karis stirred. I answered it quickly and in a hushed voice so as not to wake her. Neither of us had to be anywhere until Italian class, and if we happened to miss it, that wouldn’t be the end of the world either.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey. You okay?” Chase whispered back.
“Yeah, fine. Why are you calling so early?”
“It’s not early, and the guys said you never came home last night. Everyone’s worried because you were kind of a mess when you took off,” he reminded me.
“Why are you whispering?” I asked.
“I don’t know. You’re whispering. Why are you whispering?”
“Karis is still asleep,” I pointed out.
“Oh,” he said in a normal voice. “That makes sense. I guess you just stayed over there last night then?”
“Yeah,” I said, not offering details.
“Cool. Well, if you need to talk, I’m here. And about all that crap they were carrying on about. They’re all crazy. Ignore it, dude. There’s nothing wrong with you,” Chase said.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but um, it’s possible they’re not that crazy.” I hesitated for a moment. I needed someone to talk to and I wasn’t close enough to either Alpha I’d spent time with growing up to ask the questions I needed answers to. “Your brother, Kyle, he’s an Alpha right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Do you think that, uh, maybe he wouldn’t mind talking to me? I have questions about, you know, the stuff they said,” I admitted.
“Damon, you don’t need to worry about that. I’m sure they were just exaggerating.”
“And if they weren’t? Look, don’t mention any of this to anyone, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“I talked to Karis last night, and there might be some reasons for the changes my wolf is experiencing.” Chase was quiet for a while. Too quiet. “Chase?”
“I’m here. Karis told you about her pack placement?”
“You knew?” I asked, wishing he had warned me.
“Yeah, I told you, our families are close. I hadn’t really thought about it until you just brought it up to be honest, but she is the last of the Begay wolves. The Alaskans have some sort of belief that no matter what, God has always provided a Begay wolf, or wolf’s mate to sit as Alpha of their people. They call it the promise. If you mate Karis, you’ll be fulfilling that promise and expected to produce an heir to continue the family line. Multiple would be preferred after what happened.”
“It’s a lot, right?”
“It is. You sure you’re up for it?”
“I’m sure I can’t lose her and that I’ll do whatever it takes to live up to that,” I told him in earnest.
“Good. Too many would take advantage of the situation just to gain pack position. I mean she’s literally handing you the role of Alpha, dude. I’m glad you made your decision based off her and not the opportunity to be Alpha. This is really big.”
“Do you think I can handle it?” I asked. I wasn’t used to showing vulnerability, but I trusted Chase more than almost anyone and I knew he’d tell me the truth.
“I know you can. You love her, don’t you?”
“I do,” I admitted.
“Does she know that?”
“Not yet.”
“Mates like to hear those words as much as humans,” he chuckled. “Don’t keep it to yourself for too long. And Damon, I’ll talk to Kyle. I’m sure he’ll be happy to speak with you.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.”
I hung up the phone and stared down at my beautiful mate. I knew that it didn’t matter what her grandfather said. I was ready to make her mine and leave my mark so everyone else would know it too.
“I do love you, Karis Begay,” I said softly and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
She gave a soft little moan and smiled. “I love you too, Damon Rossi.”
I shook my head and kissed her lips.
“How long have you been listening in?”
“I did try to go back to sleep,” she insisted. “You were too cute trying to whisper through that conversation.”
“You could have just told me you were awake,” I said, trying to sound irritated but not quite making it. I didn’t want any secrets between us, so I didn’t care that she had listened in. Just another reminder how very different she was from any other woman I’d ever been with.
“I probably should make the walk of shame home and change before class.”
“Or go to class in shame and stay right here,” she said, snuggling against me.
I kissed the top of her head. I wasn’t ready to leave her either.
“How about this—you get ready really quickly, then we can go back to the house and I’ll get ready and we’ll walk over to class together,” I suggested.
“Better,” she said. “But do we really have to leave this bed today?”
I laughed. “Fine with me, but if I call out of work and you don’t show up for class, people are going to talk.”
“People are already talking, Damon,” she reminded.
“I know amore. I’m sorry about that. Does it bother you?”
“Not at all. I won’t say I love the attention, but I do love that all those girls know you are off the market.” She blushed furiously. “I mean, uh. . .”
“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”
“I, uh, I’m not. I just shouldn’t be so presumptuous.”
I gave her a ridiculous look. “Presumptuous?”
“Yeah. I mean, I dropped a bomb on your life last night. You could still choose to walk away from me, bond or not.”
“Karis, look at me,” I demanded and felt the warmth of power flow through me. It was different with her, but we both felt it. “I am yours, amore, and you are mine. I’ve never even had a girlfriend. I’ve never done the commitment thing, but that’s only because no one else is you, my one true mate. You don’t have to worry about me. I will never stray on you. My wolf wouldn’t even allow it, not that I need him to keep me in check.”
“Thank you. I needed to hear that. Tyler was really my first boyfriend and we were more friends than anything. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but you pretty much own all my firsts. Heck, I kissed Tyler, but it was nothing compared to your kisses, so it even feels like you gave me my first real kiss. The bond makes me feel more comfortable and confident than I should be, but really, I’m still terrified I’m going to screw this up or do or say something ridiculous. You are so much more experienced than I am that it’s a bit intimidating.”
“Hey, I’m fumbling through all this, too. Everything, Karis—it’s all new to me. I mean sex was just sex. Last night was not that,” I told her honestly.
“Really?”
I nodded. “Everything is so much more with you. It scares me too, and I’ve never admitted to anyone that I’m scared of anything. I know I can tell you things that I can’t talk about with anyone else, and I hope you feel that way too.”
“That’s exactly how it feels, but that doesn’t mean there’s still not this little girl inside me, worried she’s going to screw up. My world was just beginning to open up. I’m not supposed to be mated at eighteen. There’s still so much I want to see and do before obligations take over.”
Her words terrified me, but I felt them too. I understood where she was coming from.
“Karis, I know we’re kind of at different places in life. My time at the ARC is about to end this year, but I have had no purpose or plan beyond this place, until now. I have loved my time here and there is no way I would take that away from you. I would prefer we file for mated housing or find a place off campus, but if you need the full college experience and choose to rush a sorority or stay in the dorms, I’ll support that.”
“I don’t want that,” she said, cutting me off. Relief washed over me. I could wait forever for her, but I’d much rather walk through life side by side. “I have spent the last few months experiencing college life and that part of it is not for me. I had such high hopes for living here. Sabrina and I were going to be best friends and live together all four years but look how that turned out. In truth I was the one ruining that from day one when I made friends with some of your pledges and she felt left out. I know what my life looks like. I’ve always known, and it looks a whole lot brighter with you by my side.”
My heart was full, and I felt ready to take on the world.