Sugar, flour, baking soda, chocolate chips, blue M&M’s, and Ball jars lined my kitchen countertop. I was in over my head.

“Why are we doing this?” asked Avi.

I elbowed his side. “You know the answer. You’ve asked me five times now.”

“Yes, but I don’t understand. You give people a present for coming to a party?”

“I think you’re being purposefully obtuse. They’re favors. It’s tradition!”

He held up a tag with “Oh Baby” printed on it in gold lettering. “Why is it so elaborate? Can’t you give them some candy and be done with it?”

“Do you know me at all? I will not give them candy and be done with it!”

I’d come up with the genius idea to give out cookies in a jar for Rachel’s baby shower favors. I hadn’t anticipated how much work and how time-consuming it would be to make thirty of them. And I may have procrastinated a bit. Which led to Avi being recruited to help me at nine the night before the shower.

It hadn’t been hard to convince him to help me, but he’d been questioning my sanity since he saw the amount of work ahead of us.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the back of my neck. “If you did, we could be in bed right now. Or against the wall.”

I let my head fall back on his chest just for a moment. I couldn’t help it, my body just reacted to his voice and touch. We’d had “the talk” two weeks ago, and since then, I’d felt like he’d lit a fire in me, consuming me completely. Which is why I was making the favors the night before the baby shower. I’d been so wrapped up in Avi, I’d barely come up for air.

“Rachel deserves the best. And I committed to doing this. You don’t have to help if you don’t want to.”

He laughed behind me. “Let me see your face.”

I turned to him with my lip sticking out, looking as pitiful as I could. He bent down and pulled my lip into his mouth, licking the edges. He almost distracted me enough to forget about the favors, but my conscience won out. I pulled myself away from him, taking two steps back.

“You stay over there, and I’ll stay over here. Then maybe we can actually finish this.”

“All right. But only because I like Rachel.” He swatted my ass before I could dodge him. “And you.”

We worked as an assembly line, each of us measuring out ingredients and adding them to the jar. When it came to baking, I was pretty fastidious, so I couldn’t help looking over Avi’s shoulder—figuratively of course. I was in no way capable of actually looking over Avi’s shoulder.

“You think I am going to mess up?” he asked without looking up from his measuring.

“I considered the possibility. You know how I feel about my baking. It’s hard for me to let go.”

He nudged my foot with his. “I won’t mess this up. Trust me, lovely.”

I exhaled slowly. I did trust Avi. He was such a stand-up guy. Maybe it was because we lived together and I saw him all the time, but I really felt like I knew him to the core. I didn’t know all of his stories, but I knew him. He couldn’t hide behind newly dating behavior. Who he was was out in the open, clear as a fucking bell. I saw him bleary-eyed in the morning. I’d smelled his sweaty armpits. I knew he wore the same pajama pants too many days in a row, yet never re-wore his jeans without washing them.

And I still liked him. More than liked him.

“Does Rachel know what she will name the baby?” Avi asked.

“Not as far as I know. It’s a boy, and she said she and Joe are going to name him after his grandfather Joshua, or her grandmother, Molly. She told me the Jewish tradition was to use the first letter of the name of a family member that had passed, so they need a ‘J’ or ‘M’ name. Does your family do that too?”

He paused with a measuring cup in the flour. “Yes, we do that as well. Some families use the entire name. I’m named after my great-grandfather, Avner.”

“Do you—” I cut myself off. The question I’d been wanting to ask was too loaded.

“What?”

I dumped chocolate chips into the Ball jar. “Nothing.”

Avi tucked my hair behind my ear. “Ask me.”

I leaned into his hand. He wouldn’t let it drop. There was no hiding with him.

“Do you care that I’m not Jewish? That I’m a heathen, as my mom calls me.”

I couldn’t look at him, so I found a spot on the counter and studied it with all my might. There was a long pause, and my stomach churned while I waited for his answer.

“I’m not speaking until you show me your eyes.”

I dragged my eyes up to his, and he smiled softly. “That’s better.”

I worried the corner of my lip with my teeth. “That’s not an answer.”

With his thumb, he freed my lip. “I know. I’m choosing my words carefully.”

I growled and tried to bite the thumb still next to my mouth. “Don’t give me polite.”

“It’s not a yes or no answer, Laurel. Do I care you’re not Jewish? No, I don’t. But the maybe complicated part is I want my children raised with the traditions I had growing up. It is a deep need inside me to pass those things to the next generation. And while I don’t know if you’re going to be the mother of my future children, I think you could be.” He shook his head and smiled. “I really think you could be.”

I rested my hand on the center of his chest. “I guess this is one of those things couples like us have to talk about sooner rather than later.”

He covered my hand with his. “I don’t want you to change to be with me. I would never ask that. You are so fucking wonderful how you are, my little heathen.”

“Well, if we’re laying all our cards on the table, I want a lot of kids. And I want them to be cool, open-minded little people. Other than that, I’m completely open.”

He pulled me against him. “How many children?”

I twisted my lips to the side, pretending to think. “I was picturing seven or eight.”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Done.”

“And if the older ones are good helpers, I’d go for a few more.”

He rubbed his nose up and down mine. “Sure, that sounds perfect.”

“So, an even dozen?”

“Yes, twelve is an important number in Judaism. I like it.”

“We might have to bump some family members off so we have people to name all of them after.”

His shoulders started shaking moments before a boisterous laugh burst out of him. “Okay. A dozen children and murder. I now know what my future looks like with you.”

I giggled along with him. “There will never be a dull moment.”

Cupping the back of my head, he angled my mouth up to his. “No, there never is with you.” We kissed slowly, bubbles of laughter breaking us apart and pulling us back together.

When we took a breath, I whispered, “Three or four.”

He kissed me again, four soft pecks on my lips. “Three or four is perfect.”

While I could hardly believe we’d just talked about having children so early in our relationship, the conversation didn’t scare me. And what he’d said, that he really thought I could be the mother of his children, echoed through my heart. I’d never wanted a man like Avi, but then I hadn’t known a man like him existed. He adored the side of me that I was sometimes ashamed of: the silly side, the side of me that often said the wrong things, the complete and total geek. I didn’t have to put on a suit like armor with him. I could be naked and more myself with Avi than I’d ever been, and he would take it all with pleasure. I knew where I stood with him because his thoughts were mine to keep.

“You’ll come to Shabbat with me next week,” he said.

I snorted. “Are you steamrolling me into meeting your family?”

“I want you with me. That’s all.”

“Avi, are you being romantic with me?”

He fisted the back of my hair and kissed me again. He kissed me constantly. He used them like exclamation points, punctuating every other sentence with one. I’d come to realize it was just another way he communicated, and I was done fighting against him. I felt sexual and sexy in a way I never had. And I’d started kissing him with the same frequency...which meant we were kissing pretty much all the time. Which also might have explained why I was still making Rachel’s baby shower favors.

“You just have to accept that I’m going to be romantic with you all the fucking time. Because that’s how I feel about you.”

I gripped his shirt. “Oh, I accept it, Avi. I’m going to be so greedy, asking for sweet nothings all the time.”

“You will never have to ask. And I will give you sweet everythings.”

I melted, absolutely dissolved. I was no longer flesh and bone, but hearts and flowers. I still didn’t think I deserved him, but I was keeping him. If the universe had made some epic mistake in bringing us together, I wasn’t about to send up smoke signals to let anyone know.

“Do you have any idea how badly I want you right now?” I asked.

He chuckled down at me and thrust his erection against my belly. “I think I do. But we have to finish this.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

We finished as quickly as I would allow us to go. I wanted to be fast, but I didn’t want to screw up. Once that thirtieth jar was filled and the last blue bow was tied, though, we flipped off the lights, leaving the mess for tomorrow, and kissed our way to Avi’s bed.

I woke up early to scrub the kitchen. I would have gotten up in the middle of the night to do it, but Avi told me I was crazy and wrapped his arms around me, snuggling me back to sleep. But as soon as the sun rose, my eyes popped open and I couldn’t bear the thought of my beautiful kitchen in utter disarray a moment longer.

Once that was done and I’d boxed up the favors, I started making little tea sandwiches. Wisely, I’d hired out most of the other food. Anna, one of the hairstylists at Salon 410, was married to a professional baker, and he was supplying all the desserts. In fact, I planned to sneak some of his red bean stuffed donut balls home and force Avi to try them again. I refused to believe he couldn’t grow to love them.

The devil himself stumbled into the kitchen just as he’d been flitting through my brain. He came up right behind me and wrapped me in his long arms, lowering his head to sniff the back of my neck.

“Why are you not in bed with me?”

“Way too much to do. I have to make eighty thousand mini sandwiches in the next hour.”

He growled. “I don’t think that’s a good enough reason. You keep me warm. I need you.”

I rubbed the back of my head against his chest. “You can stand right there while I make these sandwiches. I need the moral support.”

He came to stand next to me and kissed the top of my head. “I will help.”

And I gladly let him. We set up an assembly line similar to the night before. Avi’s job was to cut the crust off the bread, and then quarter it. Since the man cut things for a living, I was pretty confident he could do it.

Once that was done, I ran upstairs to shower and get dressed. I slipped on a fabulous floral tea dress with a sky-blue petticoat to puff out the skirt. After I put on my makeup, I started to tackle my hair.

Avi stepped into the bathroom just as I set out my blow dryer and round brushes.

“Let me do your hair.”

I met his eyes in the mirror. “Really? I’m going to be wearing a hat.”

He picked up a brush. “Yes. It will be my pleasure.” Then he pulled up the little stool I kept in the corner, ordering me to sit down, which I did gladly.

We couldn’t talk with the noise of the blow dryer, so I just let myself relax in his hands. I wondered if all his clients felt the way I did when he was running his long fingers through their hair. It wasn’t sexual in the least, but there was something about his strong hands taking such care with me that had me swooning.

Once my hair was dry and fluffy, he used a big curling iron to give me bouncy, Veronica Lake waves.

“It’s going to be a shame to cover this up with a hat,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to spend a bit more time with you before you had to leave.”

“Avi! You can’t say things like that when I can’t kiss you!”

He laughed and set down the curling iron. “You can kiss me now.”

Instead of hopping off the stool, I perched on my knees on top of it, so Avi and I were almost face-to-face. I ran my hands over his rough cheeks, and then through the thick curls on his head. He lost patience with me, so he brought his lips down to mine, brushing them softly. But soft wasn’t what I was looking for, so I hooked my arm around his neck and pressed my lips firmly to his. I kissed him until I was lightheaded, and then I took a breath and nipped and pecked his jaw and neck.

He carried me to the sink, lifting my dress so he could stand between my legs. He nuzzled down my neck, latching onto my magic spot until I thought I might implode if I didn’t have him inside me. Just as I was about to say so, my phone started buzzing with a text on the counter. Blindly, I flipped it over, trying to ignore it. Avi had worked a hand into the bodice of my dress, and I didn’t want anything to come between us. Then my phone buzzed again. And again.

He pulled away from me, his eyes heavy lidded with desire. “You should check that.”

I yanked him back. “I don’t want to.” And then it buzzed again, and all hope was lost.

Picking up the phone, my stomach coiled with dread. It could have been Frannie texting me about the shower, but I had a feeling it was someone else—someone I’d been doing my damnedest to ignore.

“Shit!” I read the stream of texts, which were similar to the texts and emails Tom had been sending me for the last couple months. Sometimes I wondered if he’d stop if I just replied, but I didn’t want to give him an inch. I should have blocked his number, but every time I went to do it, his texts would stop and I’d forget about it.

“What is it?” Avi asked.

I couldn’t tell him who Tom was, but I could be honest about what he’d been texting me. I held the phone up so Avi could see the latest messages.

“My ex keeps texting me. As you can see, I never reply, but he doesn’t seem to care.”

Avi scowled as he read the most recent messages, a deep line forming between his eyebrows. Staring down at my phone, he asked, “Have you seen him since you broke up?”

“No. Well, our relationship ended a year ago, but it’s been three months since I last saw him. We used to work together, and I think my leaving triggered this insanity.”

He gave me my phone back. “Are you afraid?”

I shook my head as I looked up at him, unsure of how he was digesting this information. “No, just annoyed. We didn’t have some kind of grand love story or anything, so I don’t get why he’s doing this. I’m going to figure out how to block his number today.”

Instead of speaking, Avi wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head.

“I’m glad you told me. This is what I want with you. Always honest.”

“You’re not mad my ex is texting me?”

He looked down at me. “You can’t control what someone else does. How could I be mad about that?”

I exhaled heavily. “I was worried.”

He fluffed my hair, then smoothed a hand over the waves he’d created. “If we are truthful with each other, there’s nothing to be afraid of. You will know where I stand, and I will know where you stand.”

I nodded, then laid my head on his chest, my arms circling his waist. “I think I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Maybe ever. That’s where I’m standing.” It was hard to put those words out there, each one a struggle.

“Good. I’m standing there with you, my lovely.”

I shouldn’t have worried about handing my feelings over to Avi. He always handled me with the utmost care. He never made me feel silly or like I was flailing out there on my own.

Pushing away from him just a bit, I said, “I shouldn’t be standing here at all. I have to go help Frannie get her place set up for the shower.”

He spanked me when I turned away from him. “You need more lipstick.”

I smiled at him in the mirror. “That’s because someone kissed it off me.”

He rubbed his lips, which were now the proud wearers of my MAC Russian Red. “I think this is not my color.”

I swiped more lipstick on, then rubbed my lips together. “Now you can’t kiss me again until I come home.”

He grabbed me from behind and kissed a line up the side of my neck. “I think I can.”

Squirming out of his arms, I laughed. “I’ll see you later.”

As I drove to Frannie’s place, I contemplated how smoothly everything with Avi was going. I hadn’t had any Lucy moments lately and that concerned me. I knew me, so I knew there had to be a shitshow brewing. I was falling so fast and hard, I couldn’t stand to even think about fucking things up. If I kept being honest-ish, I hoped that would be enough to keep him, despite my forthcoming Lucyness.