Avi was waiting for me when I parked my car. His arms were crossed over his chest and his mouth pulled down in a frown, but at least he was there. I worried on the drive home he wouldn’t be.

When I got out of the car, he started walking toward our house, and I had to run to catch up. For every step he took, I had to take two, and he didn’t slow down for me. I could almost see the waves of anger radiating off his tight shoulders.

If he’d disappeared without word for more than a day, I would have been beside myself. And I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue when he reappeared.

Avi unlocked our door and let me step inside the house first. Quietly, we hung up our jackets, just as we’d done a hundred times before. Except this was different. This silence was anything but comfortable. It was loaded with the shrapnel that had exploded when the bomb of my affair dropped.

“I’m so sorry, Avi. I shouldn’t have run away like that.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. It was then I noticed the patch on the drywall. I ran my fingers over the rough spot near him, imagining what had happened. Then I noticed the fresh scabs on Avi’s knuckles and knew he must have punched the wall when I left.

“I should have told you, but I didn’t want to hurt you. I can’t stand that I hurt you.”

His eyes stayed closed as his hand yanked at his hair. I moved closer. He wasn’t obligated to forgive me, but I had to show him how sorry I was. Carefully, I brushed my fingers over his injured hand, and when he didn’t pull away, I lifted it to my lips and kissed each sore.

His eyes opened and caught mine. I stood on my toes and cupped his cheek. “I want you to know me. Even the bad shit. I will never keep anything from you. Ever.”

He growled, then his mouth was on mine. He kissed me hard, punishingly, and I let him. My lips parted, and his tongue delved between them, hungrily seeking out my own. His hands raked through my hair, fisting it roughly as he angled my head back so he could take me deeper. And I clung to him, letting him take from me what he needed. Because I needed it too. To solidify our connection. To claim him as he claimed me.

Avi let go of my mouth to yank my sweatshirt over my head, then slid my jeans and underwear down my legs. I was completely naked in under thirty seconds, and in one more second, he had me up against the wall, my legs wrapped around him as he ground his clothed erection into me.

“You’re mine, Laurel. Don’t you know that?”

I nodded fervently. “Yes, yes. I only want to be yours.”

He rolled my nipple between his fingers as he licked and sucked at my neck. “You have no idea what it felt like to not know where you were. I was going mad.”

I tried to speak as he pulled my tight nipple into his mouth. “I’m...I know. I won’t...ahhh…”

He pushed two fingers inside me without any hesitation. I was soaked for him, otherwise it would have hurt. But I had a feeling he wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been. Because as angry as he still was with me, he loved me, and he’d never purposely hurt me in any way.

Pulling his mouth to mine, I kissed him with everything I felt for him on the tip of my tongue. This was so much more than words. I was giving him a map to my heart and letting him read it. I handed him a picture of the neurons in my brain that carried his name from synapse to synapse, so he could see he filled every part of me.

He pulled his fingers out of me and fumbled with his jeans, all while bracing me against the wall. I wasn’t going anywhere though. Now that I had him in my arms, it would take something pretty fucking powerful to get me to let go again.

“Avi, Avi, I love you,” I rasped.

He paused, the head of his cock at my entrance, and cupped my jaw with his hand. He wasn’t gentle, but he wasn’t rough either. He exhaled, and I breathed him in. It was almost spring, but he still smelled like winter. Our eyes were locked as he slid inside, and pain washed over his features, then relief when he was finally fully seated.

“You’re here,” he whispered.

I clenched around him. “I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

He buried his face in my neck as he moved inside me. This wasn’t anything like the frantic coupling we had against this wall that first time. He moved slow, not leisurely, but deliberately. Each stroke was with purpose, to bring us closer and stake his claim on me all over again.

“I need you, Laurel. Please, please.”

My heart broke all over again. I held Avi with my arms and legs. “You have me. All of me.”

Gripping my ass, he pushed off the wall and carried me over to the couch. He sat down so I was straddling his lap and we were face-to-face. Somehow, he was even deeper inside me, and I gasped at the feel of him.

Avi growled as he plunged into me, his eyes steady on mine. I couldn’t get enough of looking at him. It was like I hadn’t seen him in two years rather than two days. I traced his lips with my thumbs and outlined his jaw with my fingertips. When he leaned forward, tipping my body back, my nails dug into his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful, so lovely. I will never have enough of you. Never, lovely.”

I thought I’d loved him before this, and I had, but if that was love, then what was this? It was something so much more, it couldn’t possibly be the same feeling.

Avi reached between us and circled his fingers on my clit. He’d brought me so close already, it only took a few beats for me to go flying. With him, I knew I could let go, and soar, because he was my soft landing, my safe place. My chest filled and bubbled over in the form of a scream and tears rolling down my face as I came around him.

He groaned, pulling me closer, and then I felt his warm tongue licking every last tear from my cheeks. He held me against him, my chest pressed to his, as he pistoned into me a few more times, then groaned my name into my ear.

I was wrapped in him, and I’d wrapped myself around him, bringing us as close as two people could possibly be. Sometimes it felt like it would never be enough. If I could climb into his thoughts and spirit, I might have.

“I love you, my sabra.”

He pressed his forehead on mine. “I love you too, my lovely.”

I rubbed my nose back and forth on his. “We need to talk.”

“Yes. I just...needed to know you were still mine.”

“Of course I am. I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

He stroked up and down my back, then his fingers tangled in my hair. “That will be forever and always. Every goddamn shitty thing that’s happened has brought me here—to you. And it was all worth it, to be able to know you.”

I kissed him softly. “Ripple effects.”

“Yes. Some of those ripples were giant fucking tidal waves, but I can’t say I would change anything.”

I wanted to have this really serious and meaningful conversation with my love, but he was still inside me, and I was leaking all over him. I had to giggle at how utterly human it was.

“Can we press pause while I go pee?”

He smiled, and I saw the light. It was like angels sang and church bells rang and dozens of cherubs shot arrows directly to my heart.

Avi stood and carried me to the bathroom while I stared dazedly at his mouth.

“You’re being weird,” he said.

“Promise to smile at me every day.”

He laughed and set me down on the tile floor. “That will be an easy promise to keep and impossible to break.”

“Good.” I pushed his chest. “I love you, but I’m not ready to pee in front of you quite yet, so get out!”

He backed out of the tight powder room slowly, smiling the whole way. I almost told him to stay so I could stare at his mouth more, but what little bit of common sense he hadn’t fucked right out of me told me to shut that door fast.

Once I’d done my business, I ventured upstairs to find my pajamas. I wanted to have a real conversation with Avi, and that probably wouldn’t be accomplished when we were both naked. Hell, we had a hard enough time when we were clothed.

I almost tripped on my own feet when I found Avi sitting on the corner of my bed waiting for me. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of sweatpants, his fingers steepled as he watched me cross the room to my closet.

After I slipped on my flannel pajamas, I turned, finding Avi leaning against the doorframe.

“Can I sit in here with you?” he asked.

The flutter in my chest intensified. This man so got me.

I held out my hand to him, pulling him into my sacred space. “You’re always welcome in here, Avi.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I was thinking of hanging some of my jeans in he—”

I covered his mouth with my hand. “Don’t you dare say it!”

His eyes twinkled—twinkled!—and beneath the palm of my hand, I felt his mouth lift into a smile.

“You’re evil,” I said.

Avi turned over my hand and kissed my knuckles. “And you are much too fun to play with.”

We sat on my fuzzy rugs, my knees pressing into his crossed legs. “I don’t know where to start,” I said.

He brushed his hands over my hair. “Start with telling me you will never run from me again.”

I shook my head. “I won’t, Avi. I just...you wouldn’t look at me, and I was so ashamed. But I’ll face whatever happens next. I won’t run again.”

“Fuck. I needed a second to think. Some woman just attacked you, and I was fucking shocked.” He exhaled heavily. “This was the two percent you were holding back from me?”

“Yeah. I’ve never been good at being open. But with you, it was so natural to just be me, I couldn’t stop myself. But that two percent, I locked it up in a room without windows so you wouldn’t see.”

“I’m angry you were with that man,” he said.

“I know. Me too. I beat myself up about it every day.”

He pulled my hands into his lap. “No. You misunderstand. I’m angry you would be with a man who’d let someone talk to you like that. You are worth so much more than that coward. Because that’s what he is, a coward. A man who steps out on his vows, and then lets you, a woman he held power over at work, take the full blame, is not worthy of you.”

I sniffled. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of you. But I’ll do everything I can to try to be.”

“I see you, my lovely. I know who you are. I don’t have to know everything you’ve done in your past to see you.” He pressed a hand to my chest. “This is important to me. If you’re open to me here, if you’re one hundred percent honest with your heart, that’s all I need.”

I pressed my hand over his heart. “I see you too, Avi. You may have done things you’re not proud of too, but your heart is so good. You are good. And I only want to be good to you. But, Avi...”

He clutched my hand in his. “Yes?”

I looked up at my one and only Chanel suit for strength. “I might accidentally flirt from time to time. Most of the time, I don’t even know I’m doing it. And I’ll most definitely say the wrong thing more often than not.”

He kissed my forehead. “I know, lovely. I told you I would never ask you to change. I might punch the fucking drywall from time to time, but I will always fix it. You are my otzar, my treasure.”

I scowled at him. “You better not mess up my drywall!”

He kissed me again. “Did you hear the part about fixing it?”

I lifted his hands in front of him. “See these? They’re valuable. I like what they can do and how they make me feel. You’re not allowed to ruin them.”

He growled and pulled me into his lap. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Avi.”

“You know we will never be like anyone else. I’m always going to fuck you hard and say whatever I want to you.”

Biting my lip, I shrugged. “So, let’s not be like them. Let’s be us.”

He chuckled. “Yes. I like us more than anything in this world.”

I smiled at him, a feeling of sureness filling me. “Me too, my sabra.”

He’d always be prickly—it was in his blood. And I’d always be just a little bit too loud and opinionated—it was in my blood too. But the two of us together fit. We more than accepted each other’s quirks, we reveled in them. And maybe that’s what made our relationship different than what each of us had before. We were in love because of our idiosyncrasies, not in spite of them.

I’d always felt a bit like Rogue from X-Men. While she was part of the team, she never let herself be pulled into the fold. She stayed on the outskirts, where it was safe. I mean, I kind of didn’t blame her since she could kill someone with a single touch, but that was neither here nor there. The point was, she didn’t try, and neither did I. Because what if I tried and I wasn’t loved?

But my Avi saw me. He didn’t need mutant powers for it either. He didn’t hide who he was, and he didn’t let me hide who I was.

And through his eyes, I saw me too. Short, loud, a little bit complicated, sweet, smart, and lovely. Always, always, lovely.