Chapter Twenty-One
Maverick
“You’re super smiley today,” Sarah said, walking up to me that morning and looping our arms. She’d scrunched her hair, so it hung in short, brown curls around her heart shaped face. “What’s up?”
“I did the thing,” I said, still grinning like a fool. I didn’t think I’d stopped smiling since the night before when it’d happened.
Her eyes grew to saucers. “Like the thing? The thing you’ve only texted me about for, like, ages that you were gonna do? Ohmygosh! Give me all the details and leave nothing out, or I’ll withhold all fries from you until the day you die.”
So, I told her about asking Avery to date me—giving her everything, including all facial expressions, internal thoughts, and location because you know, I loved my fries. However, I left out the part toward the end of the night when we’d had that weird moment between us. No point in mentioning that.
It’d do nothing but send her into a question frenzy, and I didn’t want Avery walking up during the attack—wherever he was.
“He should be here by now,” I said, more to myself than to her.
Normally, he was at school before me because he took the early bus. After checking his tree and not finding him sitting under it, I scanned the cluster of people for Ben. Maybe Avery was with him. Spotting his red hair, I looked over everyone’s head to see him better.
Ben was standing alone, looking around, as if searching for Avery too.
Before my mind could start coming up with a million and one scenarios of what could’ve happened to Avery, I saw him, and the breath I’d unintentionally been holding was released.
He and Declan got out of an old car and were walking toward the courtyard. His brother instantly veered off in the other direction without so much as a glance at Avery. Neither of them looked happy.
Avery glanced at his brother and the sadness on his face was like a knife to my chest.
What’s wrong with him?
Not having the patience to wait for him to find me, I ambled through the crowd until I was in front of him.
“Good morning,” I said, reaching to touch his arm but withdrawing it on second thought.
It took a moment for his light blue eyes to focus on me. And even when they did, it still didn’t feel like he really saw me. His already pale skin was even whiter, and dark circles were under his eyes. He was wearing eyeliner too, so combined with the shadows beneath his eyes, he kind of looked like a corpse.
A sexy corpse, but one nonetheless.
“Hey,” he greeted, adjusting the backpack on his shoulder. “Sorry I’m late.”
Why was he apologizing?
“It’s cool,” I said before thinking ‘screw it’ and taking hold of his hand. He didn’t pull away, which was a good sign. Together, we walked back the way I’d come. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Avery answered once we were with Sarah. “Just didn’t sleep well. Tossed and turned all night, and I guess when I finally fell asleep, I slept hard and Declan had a hard time waking me up.” He stared at the ground. “We missed the bus, so our Mom had to wake up after a long night shift and bring us. I just screw everything up.”
Sarah’s brown eyes met mine, and she looked as worried as I felt.
“Oh, honey,” she said. “We all have those rough mornings. Try not to let it get to you too much.”
Avery looked up at her before looking away. “Maybe.”
I gently squeezed his hand. Seeing him so down made me want to do everything in my power to make him smile. Avery’s loose hold in mine bothered me too. Lifeless.
Remembering how concerned Ben had looked earlier, I got his attention and motioned for him to come over.
Relief flickered across his face upon seeing me, and he jogged over to us. That relief waned a bit when he saw Avery, though.
“Jesus, man,” he said, scrunching his brow. “You look like you’ve just walked out of the basement of my mom’s funeral home.”
Although it was a weak one, Avery smiled. “I appreciate that, Ben. Like, it’s always been my dream to look like the walking dead.”
“Awesome,” Ben replied, nodding. “Glad to make your dreams come true, buddy.”
Sarah giggled so hard she snorted. When we all looked at her, she covered her mouth and looked absolutely mortified. “No one say a thing or I will throat punch you.”
“I didn’t hear anything,” I said, playing dumb. “Did you guys?”
“Nope,” Ben lied before whistling and looking everywhere but at Sarah.
Avery grinned and shook his head, causing more of his dark hair to fall into his face.
Instead of fighting the urge like usual, I used my free hand to softly brush the strands aside. He tensed at the contact, but relaxed once he looked at me.
And in his eyes was a look that made my chest tighten. A look that screamed desperation; as if he was trapped and begging me to set him free.
If only I knew how.
So, I did what I could for the time being: held his hand.
“What time is it?” Avery asked.
I checked my phone. “About ten minutes until the first bell.”
“I didn’t get to eat breakfast yet, so I’m gonna head to the cafeteria.”
He started walking off, and his hand slipped from mine. I didn’t like the feeling.
“Wait!” I jogged after him. “I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to,” he said.
“But I want to.”
He nodded, but didn’t say anything else. Once we were inside, we were able to go right through the breakfast line without having to wait because everyone else had already gotten their food. They were serving a breakfast corndog, which was a pancake wrapped sausage, served with a small cup of maple syrup.
I wasn’t hungry, but I grabbed a tray too.
When we sat down, Avery devoured his in a few bites, and I remembered what he said before about him and Declan not having food in the house sometimes. Did they still have that problem?
“Want mine?” I asked, once he was finished with his. I hadn’t even touched my food yet.
His cheeks reddened, and he shrugged. I moved his tray to the side and slid mine in front of him.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed about something.
“Are you not eating at home?” I couldn’t hold the question back. If he wasn’t eating, I wanted to know so I could help him.
“I am,” he answered, and thankfully, he didn’t seem annoyed that I’d asked it. “Mom got a sort of promotion at work, so we’re doing okay. Way better than we’ve ever been. I just didn’t eat dinner last night, and since I woke up late this morning, I didn’t get to before we left.”
“Why didn’t you eat dinner?” I asked. Crap. I should’ve bought us something before dropping him off at home.
“Fell asleep early,” he said way too fast.
I nodded, accepting his answer. But then…
“Didn’t you say earlier that you had a hard time sleeping?” I pointed out, studying him.
For just a split second, his eyes widened, and then he brushed it off. “Oh, I meant later on in the night. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”
He was lying. But I couldn’t understand why.
Something wasn’t right with his behavior. He’d mentioned it all had derived from his dad, but I didn’t know what all that entailed. Abuse?
Was he still being abused?
“You okay, big guy?” Avery asked, pulling me from my head. He was smiling again, but it still didn’t reach his eyes. Not fully. He looked so tired.
“Yeah.” It was my turn to lie.
His attitude slowly shifted for the rest of the day, going from the walking corpse from the morning to the Avery I was more familiar with. Shadows still lingered under his eyes, and during times when we weren’t talking, I’d catch him looking at the ground or the wall with an emotionless face. But right when his eyes would find mine, he’d light up and transform into a happier version of himself.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
“So, you and goth boy are, like, together now?” Travis asked, leaning against the locker beside mine after school. He hadn’t meant it in a bad way. It was just in the Travis way. He crossed his arms, emphasizing his biceps that’d noticeably grown in the past two months.
“Yeah,” I answered, grabbing my history textbook and shelving the rest before closing the locker. “I asked him last night.” Meeting Travis’ green-eyed gaze, I added, “Things are a bit complicated at times, but… I don’t know. He just makes me happy.”
Travis smiled, showing off the dimple in his right cheek. “Man, that’s what matters. Wish I could say the same. Chelsey drives me crazy.”
“Dump her.” I looked down the hall to see if Avery was nearby. I had rehearsal again that afternoon, so we were going to walk to the performing arts building together. “Seriously, Trav. No amount of great sex is worth that. There’s plenty of other girls. Ones who aren’t stuck up their own ass.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I know.” His brow dipped and he averted his eyes from me. “Um, can I ask you something without you freaking out?”
“Okay,” I said in a suspicious tone.
“Is… is Sarah, like, seeing anyone?” he asked before looking back at me. “I see that Ben guy hangin’ with y’all a lot, and I just didn’t know if they’re together.”
It was about time he asked.
“Mavy! There you are.” Sarah ran up and grabbed my arm. She then added in a British accent, “Off to the theater we go!”
“Hey, Sarah,” Travis said with a somewhat cocky smile.
She stilled and looked at him, just now realizing he was there. “Oh. Hi, Travis. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m such a ditz sometimes.”
“No problem,” he replied, using his famous flirty tone. He then offered his arm. “May I escort the lady to the theater instead? Not to take the lady from her current escort, but he seems to have his sights elsewhere.”
I stopped my search for Avery and quirked a brow at Travis. He was laying it on pretty thick. I’d never seen him try so hard.
“Um. Sure,” Sarah answered, glancing at me before letting go of my arm and grabbing his.
As they started walking off, she tossed me an excited smile over her shoulder. She’d expressed her crush for him several times through text, but she’d said she didn’t have a chance because she wasn’t the ‘typical ten hottie’ Travis usually dated. She was rounder than the super skinny girls he got with.
Looked like he didn’t mind.
I watched them, hoping he dumped Chelsey soon. Queen B must’ve not had cheerleading practice that day, because otherwise, I doubted Travis would’ve been so open with his flirtation of Sarah. Well, actually, he probably still would’ve been.
When he wanted something, he went for it.
Kind of like me with Avery. There were a lot of things I was unsure about, but Avery wasn’t one of them. The fact things were already a bit complicated and we’d just started dating would’ve pushed most people away. But not me. I knew there were reasons for why he was that way. Maybe one day he’d confide in me about them.
I finally found him in the library.
Ever since Ben had let him borrow that vampire book, Avery had started reading more, and he’d gone to the library a few times. Of course, none of the books in our library were as, uh, adult as the Seeing Red one, but he’d found a series called House of Night that he really enjoyed.
After going to the library, I saw him searching a shelf, and I approached him from behind.
His long, black hair touched his shoulder blades and the fitted shirt he wore accentuated his lean torso. He bent over to look on the lower shelf, and my gaze followed.
I mean, I was an ass guy and Avery had a nice one.
While checking him out, I noticed his pants were new. They were black skinny jeans I hadn’t seen him wear before. I guess his mom really had gotten a promotion—even though I still didn’t even know where she worked.
“Can I help you find something, Mr. Blake?” Mrs. Lane, the librarian, asked.
Avery flipped around to face me.
Crap. Busted.
I smiled at him before answering Mrs. Lane, “No, ma’am. I found what I was looking for.”
Avery’s lips twitched and he looked back at the bookshelf. I went to stand beside him, scanning the row of books too, even though I didn’t know what he was searching for.
“You were checking out my ass, weren’t you?” he whispered.
“I plead the fifth,” I answered, peering down at his amused expression. “What’cha trying to find?”
“The fourth House of Night book,” he said before sighing. “I think it’s checked out, though. And the library will be closing soon.”
As Avery gave up his search and we left the library, we headed toward the performing arts building.
“I’m sorry for this morning,” he said once we were outside in the sunshine, walking to the theater. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, but it was chilly, and I put my arm around his small frame to help keep him warm. “There are things goin’ on with me that make me a bit mercurial. I can’t control it.”
Him using words like ‘mercurial’ was one reason I was so into him. The way his mind worked fascinated me. He was intelligent and kind; shy but also outgoing and sarcastic at times.
“You don’t stop caring about someone just because things get hard,” I said, rubbing his shoulder with my thumb. I felt how boney he was beneath my hand, and I decided right then that I was taking him out to dinner after rehearsal. Fatten him up a little. “I don’t know what’s happening with you, Avery, but I’m not going anywhere. You’re part of my life now. And whether you need me as someone to talk to or someone to help distract you from the bad, I’m here.”
When we reached the building, I opened the door for him, and we went inside. Other people were standing around, and I waved to a kid named Greg, who was playing LeFou in the musical. Something amazing drifted to my nose right before I saw Mr. Lee and a few others carrying large boxes of pizza.
“Since you guys are working so hard, I wanted to treat you guys with dinner,” Mr. Lee said before nodding his head to the auditorium doors. “Can someone get that for me?”
Sarah, who still had a shadow named Travis following her, leapt forward to open the doors for the drama teacher and the trailing students with the food.
Avery peered up at me with big, blue eyes as everyone began filing into the theater. “You really care about me?”
“I wouldn’t have asked you to be my boyfriend if I didn’t, dork,” I said with a light laugh, but on the inside, my heart was going wild.
A smile replaced his shock. “What did I tell you about the dork thing? Did you ever look it up?” At my dumbfounded look, his smile widened. “It used to be slang for penis.”
I laughed. “I learn something new every time we hang out.”
“I’m just full of random facts, Mav,” he said, beaming with a smile. “In a battle of wits, pretty sure I’d win.”
Yeah. I was sure too.
“Am I really your boyfriend?” he asked. “I didn’t know dating meant relationship.”
“Is that okay?” I answered his question with another.
He nodded as a smile touched his perfectly shaped lips.
My arm was still around him, and I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. His body tensed, but he didn’t shove me away or punch me. Instead, he relaxed and angled his head closer, as if wanting more.
I smiled into his hair and kissed his temple before pulling back.
“We should get on stage,” I said, meeting his somewhat dazed expression.
“Uh huh,” was all he said before we followed the others inside.
When we had to go our separate ways—him backstage and me to the dressing room—I reluctantly let go of him. We exchanged a look, and nothing was spoken. But something about the way he smiled at me before disappearing backstage lit me up from the inside out.
***
Later that evening, after I’d dropped Avery off and went home, I went into the living room where my mom was reading. She looked up from her book—probably another Nicholas Sparks one.
“Hey, sweet pea,” she said, placing the marker in her book. “How was rehearsal?”
“Great.” I plopped on the couch belly down and grabbed a pillow to rest my chin on. “I have some news. You know Avery? The friend I’ve mentioned a few times? Well, he and I are—”
“Karen, have you seen my cufflinks?” Dad asked, walking into the room with his awesome timing.
Mom looked up at him, clearly a bit irritated at the interruption. “They should be on the dresser in the silver box. Why do you need them now?”
“I don’t,” Dad said. “You and I are going to dinner at the Harrison’s tomorrow night, and I’m just trying to prepare.”
“Since when are we going to dinner?” Mom asked, and her irritation only became more noticeable.
I couldn’t blame her. Dad was always making plans for them without consulting with her first.
“Since today,” he answered, not reacting to her irritation because he was used to it. “Is that okay?”
Turning my head, I saw him smiling at her. They often argued, but they really did love each other.
“Whatever,” she answered, but I saw her smile too. Once Dad left again, she looked at me. “What were you saying, honey?”
“Avery and I are dating. I asked him last night.”
“And when do I get to meet this Avery?” Mom asked, narrowing her eyes. “You know your dad will want to meet him too.”
Yeah, that’s what I was worried about.
Dad hadn’t been mean to Chris or anything when they’d first met, but the way Chris dressed—wearing eyeshadow and even lip-gloss sometimes, as well as wearing feminine clothing when he wanted—had caused Dad to be overly judgmental of him. I’d even heard my parents talking a little after Chris and I started dating, and Dad had said, “Why can’t Mav date a normal gay?”
His statements had been ignorant because he didn’t understand. And when I tried explaining, it seemed to just go in one ear and out the other.
The idea of Dad meeting Avery didn’t bode well. Not with Avery’s emo-styled hair, black eyeliner, and gothic way of dressing. Just the thought of it made me uneasy.
“You’ll meet him soon,” I finally answered her. “I’m going to invite him over for dinner one night, if that’s okay.”
“Of course,” she said giving me the mom look, as if she could see right through my smile and to the underlying nerves. “Let me know when.”
I nodded and got off the couch. After kissing her on the top of the head, I started walking out.
“And don’t worry about your dad,” she said, stopping me. “I’ll handle him.”
I smiled before going up the stairs to my room. I had the best mom ever.