Chapter Forty-four
Mason
Almost four months old
Waking up next to Payton again was a fucking dream come true. Realizing she was watching me sleep? The cherry on top. She’d left a little while ago to take Katie up to the hospital. I’d offered again to go with her, but she said the same thing she had last night. It’d be faster if she went by herself.
I figured I’d use the time to finish cleaning out my parents’ room. I thought maybe tomorrow I’d talk Payton into helping me pick out some new furniture for in here. Maybe for the rest of the house too. I wanted this place to feel like it was hers. Like it was ours.
“Sleep good?”
I looked up from the watches I was sorting through to find Parker leaning against the wall, studying me. “We slept okay, once Katie got settled down.”
“I don’t like you.” He took a step into the large walk-in closet. “But Payton loves you.”
He and Paxton were both so sure that she still loved me. That she would forgive me. I wished I had their confidence. I wanted her forgiveness more than I wanted anything else in this world. I wanted to start over, I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy and calling her mine.
“I love her too. Very much.”
“How did you get her before? How did you get her to stay?”
I chuckled, remembering our first night together. “I asked her for three minutes. I told if she still wanted to leave after my three minutes were up that I wouldn’t bother her again.”
“And that worked?” He sounded skeptical.
I nodded. “Yep.”
His eyes narrowed but he didn’t punch me like Paxton would have, which was shocking as shit. “What about the second time?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I guess we were friends at that point. We’d been living here at the ranch together with Katie. She’d told me that we shouldn’t complicate things with sex, and then one night…we did.”
“Was it just sex between you two?” His eyes were narrowed, like he was daring me to say it was.
“No. It was everything, she was everything to me.” I took a deep breath, correcting myself. “She is. She is everything to me.”
He nodded once. “Retrace your steps, and you’ll get her back.”
I cocked my head to the side, confused by his vague instructions. “Huh?” He just stared at me for another few seconds and then walked out. I was somewhat annoyed, but also grateful that he hadn’t tried to punch me or anything.
I reached up high, stretching almost beyond my limits, to grab a shoebox, putting Parker’s weird instructions out of my head. When I was too lazy to go grab the step stool the box fell to the ground and papers started to scatter in the air.
Most of what was strewn across the closet floor looked like receipts and tax stuff. I figured my old man kept those in a shoebox. Bet his accountant loved that. I was about to shove them all back in when I came across an envelope with my name on it. Seeing my name in his handwriting cause the air to leave my lungs. My hands began to shake so bad it took three tries to get the letter out of the envelope.
Mason,
If you’re reading this…well, I’m dead. I told Kate that I didn’t want to write a letter like this, because it was morbid as fuck. But she said that it was the fatherly thing to do. She made me write one for the baby too. I’m really hoping that you’re old and gray and you’re reading this while toasting my decrepit ass with a shot of whiskey. If you aren’t, well, I’m sorry, punk. I hate the thought of not seeing you grow up, not seeing you become a man. Become a father. I know I wasn’t always around, wasn’t always the dad that you needed me to be. I regret that. And I really fucking hope that I at least got time to make that right. To be there for you. I know I don’t say it enough, but I’m so damn proud of you. I’m lucky to be your father, Mason. I’m lucky to have known you, to love you. If I died too soon, please take care of your sister. She’ll need you in her life. She’ll need a good man to look up to, to protect her. Take her to see the places we saw, teach her to surf, tell her stories about me. Only the ones suitable for children though. Love her, like I love you. I hope you’re happy. I hope that you found a good girl, someone who doesn’t take your shit. Someone who you can laugh with, dance with. Someone who knows the words to all the best songs. Cough, “Rock On,” cough. Love her too. Love her like I love Kate. With all your heart and soul. You deserve to be happy, punk, please never forget that.
Love you,
Dad
Tears were cascading down my face and falling to the floor, barely missing the edge of the letter that was still clasped in my hands. My dad wrote me a letter. Besides Katie and Payton, this piece of paper was the most important thing in my life. He’d loved me, he was proud of me. He said I deserved to be happy. Everything in that letter was exactly what I needed to hear, and somehow he’d known it would be. I was crying because I was happy, because I missed my old man, and because Katie would never get to meet him.
I could love Katie like he loved me. I knew I could, I had from the moment I first saw her. And the girl he’d described in that letter? It was Payton.
There was no doubt in my mind that she was the girl for me.