Chapter 16
MARCUS
I’ve given myself another two weeks to recover and get stronger. I’m not at full strength yet, but I’m almost there.
I started working a week ago. It took some getting used to again, but I’m getting there. Jaxson and Rhett helped me move into my new place, and now that I’m settled, I can’t wait to see Willow.
I look at the time again, and excitement bubbles in my chest knowing that Willow will be here soon.
I walk into the living room and sit down next to Miss Sebastian, who might be more excited than me to meet Willow.
“What are you watching?”
She pulls a face. “The Bachelor. Watching all those crazy women makes me feel better about myself.”
I frown at her which makes her turn the volume down. She turns to face me and the last time I saw her this serious was just before the surgery when I lost my shit.
“I look at their perfect boobs and vajajay's, and I can’t help but turn green. And as I’ve said before, green isn’t my color. When they act crazy, it makes me feel better knowing I have a dazzling personality.”
I nod to show her that I understand.
“Have you thought about going for a gender reassignment surgery?”
A sad look crosses her features.
“I think about it all the time,” she admits softly.
I’ve never seen this side of Miss Sebastian.
“So why don’t you go?”
She lifts her eyes to mine and tries to smile bravely.
“It’s expensive.”
I can see that she has more to add, so I wait patiently.
“Ryan chose to love me with this body. What if I change it and he doesn’t love it anymore?”
“Babe,” Ryan suddenly says from the hallway. I almost shriek with Miss Sebastian.
“Don’t scare me like that!”
He stalks towards her, and I have a sudden urge to flee before I get caught between them. I ease myself over the arm of the chair and almost fall off the side. At least I’m out of the way by the time Ryan grabs hold of Miss Sebastian’s hands, pulling her up into his arms.
“I love you. I love your colorful brand of crazy. I love every word that comes out of your mouth. You,” Ryan pats his hand over her heart. “I love you. If you want boobs and a vajajay, then go for it.”
He frames her face and looks at her with so much love, you can’t help but feel the emotion.
“Did you just call me crazy?” Miss Sebastian asks suddenly.
I cover my mouth and turn away before she sees me laughing. Poor Ryan. It was nice knowing him.
“Out of everything I just said, that’s what you decide to hear?”
“I’ll let it go this one time, but only because everything else you said was so swoon-a-licious.”
I smile as I walk to the kitchen so they can have some privacy. I make sure everything is ready for when Willow gets here. I chuckle when I remember Miss Sebastian's face when I invited them over for dinner and told her she had to bring the food. She wasn’t impressed with me.
When there’s a knock at the door, Miss Sebastian shrieks and runs for the door before I even manage to take a step.
Miss Sebastian yanks the door open and pulls Willow so fast into a hug, all I get to see of Willow is her blonde curls.
“OMGEEEEEE!” she keeps shrieking, then pushes Willow back and turns her from side to side. “Let me have a good look at you.”
I get a glimpse of Willow’s stunned face and decide now is a good time to save her.
“You’re just too delish for words.” Miss Sebastian frames Willow’s face, and for a moment they just look at each other before Miss Sebastian whispers, “You have the eyes of an angel. Girl, you keep looking at me like that, and you’ll have me confessing my sins in no time.”
“Trust me,” I say, interrupting their moment. I wrap an arm around Willow’s shoulders and pull her away from Miss Sebastian. “You do not want to hear Miss Sebastian’s sins. She’ll scar you for life.”
I turn my body into Willow’s as my eyes drop to her face. Her eyes are wide as they stare up at me, and I’m not sure if she’s in shock from being steamrolled by Miss Sebastian, or whether it’s because of me.
It feels as if I’m seeing her for the first time again, or maybe I’m just allowing myself to really look at her. She’s even more beautiful than I remember. It feels like a lifetime has passed since I saw her last.
Her blonde hair feels softer against my arm. My eyes drop to her mouth, and I have an overwhelming urge to kiss her, the way I should’ve kissed her that night we met.
Fuck, I’ve wasted so much time.
I’m just thankful that I got another chance. This time I won’t waste a second. The letter I wrote was the final wake-up call I needed.
“Hi, Willow,” I whisper, smiling down at the face I’ve missed so much. I press a soft kiss to her lips, and it takes all my strength to pull away.
I notice tears shimmering in her eyes as she lifts her left hand to my face, and a look of wonder quickly replaces the shock that was there a moment ago. She traces her fingers lightly from my temple down to my jaw.
She drops her hand to my chest, right over my heart, and whispers, “Hi, Marcus.”
“He looks so delicious because I have been feeding his sexy ass.” Miss Sebastian’s voice breaks the moment between us.
Miss Sebastian grabs Willow’s hand and pulls her towards the living room.
“While the chunks of hunks get the food ready, I’ll give you a tour of your man’s love shack.”
Ryan places his hand on my arm when we hear Miss Sebastian say, “Just look at the bed! There’s plenty of space to bow-chika-wow-wow with your man. I made sure he got a lot of exercise. He’s good to go. You don’t have to worry about giving him a heart attack. You can ride him like Seabiscuit, and he’ll be fine.”
Ryan tightens his grip on my arm and shakes his head. “It’s no use. Once she starts you know there’s no stopping her.”
“Seabiscuit?” I groan, thinking it wasn’t such a good idea to have Miss Sebastian over for dinner to help Willow feel more at ease.
∞∞∞
WILLOW
I stand with Marcus by the front door and watch as Miss Sebastian and Ryan walk down the hallway towards the elevator.
“I love her,” I whisper.
“Yeah, she’s something else.”
Marcus takes my hand and pulls me back inside the apartment. Miss Sebastian was so overwhelming that I haven’t had time to really focus on Marcus.
I let my eyes run over him, and I can’t believe how good he looks.
Was it all just a bad nightmare?
“Before you go, there’s something I want to tell you.”
I nod, and instantly my nerves feel unsettled. When it comes to Marcus, I’m never sure what to expect.
He clears his throat and then his eyes lock on mine. They are so blue and filled with life that I can’t stop myself from staring back.
“When I was lying in the OR, just before I passed out, you want to know the very first thing that entered my mind?”
I nod, waiting for him to continue.
“Your smile.”
A smile forms around my mouth.
“I remembered the first time I saw you smile and how it froze me. I remembered thinking you were the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in all my life. It froze me because I knew I’d never be able to move on from that moment. I wanted you, but I couldn’t have you. At that moment my miserable existence froze in time until I was lying there waiting for Doc to cut into my heart.”
I want to pinch my eyes shut, scared of where this is going.
“Right before everything went black, you were the very last thing that entered my mind. I realized I might never see your smile again.”
I drop my eyes from his, not wanting him to see that just talking about his near-death experience is upsetting. I don’t think I’ll ever recover fully from it.
I feel his fingers brush along my jaw and the slight touch sends tingles spreading through my body.
“I realized I might never get the chance to tell you just how much I love you.”
My eyes dart back to his with surprise. I was worried that he only told me he loved me because he was dying.
“I tried so hard to convince myself that I didn’t need you. The moment you walked out of my life I realized you were and always will be the most important person in my life.”
My heart starts to beat faster with hope. Hope that Marcus might be ready for a committed relationship. I should’ve stopped hoping a long time ago, but when it comes to Marcus, my heart just won’t give up.
“I’m not asking for another chance because I sure as hell don’t deserve it. I’ve broken your trust, and I’ve hurt you. I’ll always regret that. I’m asking you to consider the possibility of us being friends. I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but I need you in my life. I’ll take you any way I can get you. I need to know that I’ll still see your smile tomorrow, and the day after that. I love you, Willow. I can’t be the man you deserve, but please let me be a friend. I love you with every beat of my heart. I always will.”
I stare at him, feeling confused.
“You love me, but you just want to be friends? Is that what you’re saying?” I struggle to keep my voice neutral while my heart teeters on the edge of a gaping hole.
“No. I love you, and I want everything. I want you. I want your love. I want a chance to make you happy. But I know I don’t deserve it. I’m telling you that I will take whatever you’re willing to give me, as long as I get to keep you in my life.”
I lick my lips nervously, not sure what I’m supposed to say now.
“What do you want, Marcus?”
He looks away over my head, and I have to admit I’m a little disappointed. I wish you would make a decision for once and stick with it.
“You know what,” I say as I turn around to get my bag from where I left it next to the couch. “I’m going to go home. Call me when you’ve figured out what you want.”
I grab my bag, and as I turn around, I freeze as Marcus stalks towards me.
I’ve seen the bad boy Marcus.
I’ve seen the closed-off Marcus.
I’ve seen every side of him, except for this side.
He looks strong and unwavering, and by the time he reaches me, my heart is pounding against my ribs.
He frames my face and tilts my head up.
“I was trying to be nice. Fuck that. I’ll show you what I want,” he growls just before his mouth slams into mine.
I’m robbed of my ability to breathe and think in a split-second. I always imagined our first kiss being sweet and gentle, but there’s nothing gentle about the way Marcus is claiming my mouth.
He takes a step closer, forcing me up against the couch, as his tongue drives into my mouth. It feels as if the whole world is lit on fire as I taste him for the first time.
The kiss is aggressive, it’s hungry, but most of all it’s filled with determination to claim me, to love me – to live.
When he pulls away, he doesn’t say anything, but instead just looks at me with so much heat simmering in his eyes that I know I’m in trouble. I’ll always be in trouble when it comes to Marcus because there is no way that I’ll ever be able to resist him. I’ll keep coming back because he is the only man I want.
I clear my throat and open my mouth, but no words come out. He’s kissed me senseless.
“Is that clear enough for you?” he asks as the corner of his mouth twitches.
I nod fast. Damn, he doesn’t have to ask twice.
“Now that we finally have our first kiss out of the way, will you go on a date with me?”
I nod again, while my lips stretch into a smile.
“I’ll call you,” he says as he takes a step back.
I clear my throat again and tug the strap of my bag over my shoulder.
“Yeah, sure,” I say when I finally find my voice again.
Marcus walks me to the door and holds it open for me.
I’m not sure how to greet him now, so I end up giving him a lame wave.
“Night.”
I take a step forward but his hand takes hold of the back of my neck, and he pulls me right up against him. He kisses me hard. It’s nothing near the mind-blowing kiss he gave me seconds ago, but it’s heated enough to send my heart racing again.
He pulls back, and with a cocky smile, he says, “Night, Pretty-Girl. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I walk away from him, stunned out of my mind.
Now I understand why the girls used to line up to be with Marcus. When he turns on the sex appeal, there’s no way you’re going to walk away with dry panties.