HAVEN

My Saturdays were usually spent recuperating from the long work week, catching up on some reading, or just lazing around my rented room watching the small television I’d purchased at a thrift store a few years back. It was old, not one of those new flat screen models, just enough to get the job done without having to pay for cable or Internet streaming. It played in the background. The sound echoed off the walls in the too small space. I wasn’t paying attention to it as I sat across my bed and tried to dissect yesterday’s clusterfuck. Thoughts of Max swirled inside my head, so much so, I wanted to take a defibrillator and zap myself back to my senses. His words were so hurtful; like flying daggers, they flew through the air and hit their mark dead center. To say I hadn’t recognized his lashing out as a defense mechanism would be a bold-faced lie. I’d used it myself when I wanted to feel better about what happened to me. My little brother was the recipient of my vicious outbursts. His bright shining little eyes said so much during those moments. I choked on the memories. I wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock and take them all back. He’d never deserved my harsh treatment, regardless of the reasons, but he was dead now, and I was the one who was left to carry those regrets forever.

All this useless moping around while Max was probably out on the family yacht enjoying a cocktail was making me feel really stupid. He was right about one thing: I did get hurt, and I had no one to blame but myself. I thought Max and I could be friends, but I was better off alone. One slip and I got burned. Never again. I jumped my pathetic ass from the bed and set about cleaning my tiny room before the next episode of Cops was scheduled to come on television. The laundry basket was full, so I decided to start there. No use crying over spilled milk. I grabbed it and headed toward the door, but once I opened it, a figure standing there ready to knock stopped me in my tracks. What the hell?

“Mrs. Lancaster? I wasn’t expecting…” She muscled her way past me and walked right inside without waiting for an invitation. Rude much?

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything important, Haven?” She had her back to me, but I got the feeling she couldn’t care less if I were busy or not. She stood with her clutch purse under her arm, showcasing her elegant ensemble of designer leisurewear complete with red-bottomed pumps and demure hairdo. Antonia Lancaster was one intimidating woman. Standing in this small room, she appeared larger than life. I had no idea she even knew where I lived and certainly never expected her to show up on my day off…unannounced. I hope nothing happened to Max.

“Can I offer you something to drink or a chair to sit?” Might as well be cordial. I closed the door and propped the laundry basket in the corner of the room so it wouldn’t take up too much space. This place was smaller than a tuna can, a far cry from the senator’s mansion.

“No, thank you, dear, this won’t take long.” Okay, now what?

“Um…sure…What can I do for you, Mrs. Lancaster?” She finally turned to face me, and there it was, that same look in her eyes she’d had when she introduced Jeremy to Max, a calculating gleam that only meant one thing: trouble.

“You’re a smart girl, Haven, so I’ll get right to the point. I want you to seduce my boy, get him to fall for you, then convince him to go away.” I must have peanut butter in my ears or something, no way had I heard her right.

“Excuse me? I don’t understand.”

“Sure, you do. Let’s not play stupid, Haven.” She smiled in my direction, but it was sinister, like a deranged clown trying to trap unsuspecting children so they could kill them and eat their tiny hearts.

“Fuck him the same way you fucked your cousin Richard. Surely, you haven’t forgotten how it’s done.” She delivered that body blow so businesslike, the use of the word ‘fuck’ rolled off her refined palate like that of an average street whore. Her statement meant she knew about my past, the abuse I’d suffered at the hands of my cousin, but the days of cow towing to the rich were long gone. She could take her job and shove it up her ass if she thought for a second I would agree to that bullshit. I didn’t need my job that badly. There were others.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Lancaster, but that won’t be possible. I’m a nurse, not a call girl. Please consider this my notice of resignation.” I squared my shoulders, determined not to feel intimidated by this woman any longer.

“Oh, Haven, I knew there was a reason why I liked you so much. You remind me of my younger self, before I learned what real life was about. In the real world, you’re either the hunter or the prey.” She tilted her head as if she were contemplating my position on the food chain. “But you already knew that, didn’t you, my sweet? How cruel and unforgiving the world could be?” I hated her at that moment. I wanted to scratch her eyes out and watch her bleed. We had nothing in common, not pain, nor sorrow. She was a snake in tailored clothing, and I refused to be used by her or anyone else ever again.

“I’ll never do what you want. Just leave now, and I’ll forget this ever happened.” I tried to pretend I was brave enough to outsmart her, but she was an unforgiving bitch. I appealed to her sense of right and wrong, of fair and unfair, but she wasn’t listening.

“Oh, Haven, you don’t seem to realize who you’re dealing with, child, so allow me to enlighten you. I know all about your parents, how they died and left you and your younger brother in the care of older cousins. I’m well aware that your cousin developed, shall we say… a taste for the younger member of the Sloan family when his wife traveled for business.” She smirked.

“I know about your poor little brother and his unfortunate death.” She tsked with mock sympathy. She didn’t know the first thing about what we’d gone through in order to survive.

“Tell me, Haven, did you really think I hired you for your exemplary nursing skills? Poor dear. I hired you because I knew the day would come when I would need someone with your special skills to serve my needs. The nursing thing was just a ploy to get you to come and work for me. I could have hired anyone for that job.”

I couldn’t listen to her recite The Life and Times of Poor Little Haven anymore. Every venomous word that she spewed from her mouth pushed me further and further into despair until the tears flowed earnestly down my face and my heart sank below my knees. She was killing me, one syllable at a time, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. She held all the cards—my past, my future, and my dreams—in her dirty little hands.

“One phone call, Haven, that’s all it would take for me to put the word out that you’re a conniving little bitch who killed her own brother, and you’ll never work again. Imagine what the wives of this community would think about you caring for their poor sick husbands? Oh, I know what you’re thinking. I’ll just leave and start over somewhere else? Tsk, tsk, there’s nowhere else to run, darling. That idea is just…foolish.” She shook with laughter. Her head moved from side to side, as if my life’s tragedies were the best one-liners she’d ever heard. I could try and call her bluff, but deep down I knew she was right. The one percent of the wealthy in this world stuck together, for better or for worse. If I tried to go another route, it could be years before I had the money to achieve my goals, years I didn’t have to wait.

“Don’t worry, Haven, there are worse things in life than fucking a good-looking man for a short period of time. Just think about what your children will look like. I’d do it myself, but you know, Mother Nature and all that. I’m too old to play those games. Besides, been there, done that, so to speak.” What the hell was she talking about? She would screw her own son? This bitch was crazy as fuck.

“Max doesn’t even like me. He thinks I’m a busybody.”

“Oh.” She touched her cheek with her index finger as if she’d just remembered something. “You thought I meant Maxie? How silly of me. I meant Jeremy. He’s the one you’ll need to fuck. Better make it convincing, Haven. Jeremy likes it in various ways.” No fucking way. At least with Max, I was somewhat attracted to him. Okay, I was very attracted to him, but Jeremy? I’d rather swan dive into a vat of acid before I let him touch me. This couldn’t be happening to me, not again. I wouldn’t survive it this time.

“Please, Mrs. Lancaster, I beg you. Don’t make me do this. I’ll do anything you want, but please just…not with Jeremy. He’s just…I...” She already knew what a disgusting creep Jeremy was. I didn’t need to tell her. The prospect of having sex with him was downright sickening, worse than when I was forced to do it with Richard. I had to make her change her mind.

“Oh, Haven, don’t you see? It has to be this way. I finally have my son back after all these years, and that means I no longer have a use for Jeremy. He was a nice replacement for a while, but Maxie is something else entirely. You’ll learn to like it, dear, just like I did. A fuck here, a fuck there, and before you know it, you’ll be just like me…successful.”

“What about your husband, the senator? Have you forgotten about him? Wouldn’t he be upset if he found out you wanted to get rid of his top aide who was loyal to your family?”

“Pst. He’ll be dead in a week. Besides, Maxie is a much better replacement. He’s motivated, smart, and damn good looking, if I must say so myself. Maxie will take this family places we never dreamed possible. Jeremy doesn’t have what it takes to lead. He lacks that killer instinct when it comes to navigating this lifestyle.”

I felt empty, like a piñata swinging from a tree after it’s been bashed to pieces and its contents spilled all over the ground. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she would make good on her threats to destroy me. She had no qualms about devastating the lives of others, including that of her own son. She was the vampire hiding in the oak tree, and no matter how hard I ran, she would always be there to catch me before I made it to safety.

“Great! Now that that’s all settled and we’ve reached an understanding, I’m having a celebration tonight to welcome Maxie home from boarding school. Be there promptly at eight and wear something appropriate, dear. Jeremy’s favorite color is blue.”I barely registered her departure. She was an apparition who disappeared in a sea of fog and fire. My future seemed hopeless; I felt hopeless. In just a few hours, my life would be over. I won’t survive again.