MAXWELL

Hours had passed since I led Jeremy and my mother into the dark, dank basement at gunpoint. That decision served a dual purpose; one, to get away from my father’s corpse, and two, to stifle the sound of the shotgun blasts when I decided to kill these two depraved motherfuckers if they didn’t tell me where to find Heaven. The standoff was taking its toll on everyone. The longer it took to get answers, the less likely my chances were of finding her, alive or dead. I’d underestimated my enemy, something Buck warned us about until it was deeply etched in our brains, or so I’d thought. My mother proved she was willing to go to any lengths to get what she wanted. She had a plan, years in the making. I’d been wrong about everything: the shadow, the memories, the threats. I took them too lightly, and now my woman was the one paying the price. My mother was smart, smarter than I’d ever given her credit for. That revelation meant I needed to switch my tactics and hope like fuck she slipped up. Heaven was out there somewhere, and it was up to me to bring her home.

“I really need to use the bathroom,” Jeremy whined like a cunt as he sat in the corner of the room and rocked back and forth. I’d led them to the place where there was no escape except to overpower me, and that shit was never going to happen. All the years I spent in this very room being served up on a platter for the rich and shameless to feast upon. How fitting it was to know that things would end where it all began.

“Swallow it or piss on yourself, fuck nuts. Either way, we aren’t leaving this room until you tell me what I want to know.” I pointed my weapon in his direction as an extra incentive for him to start talking. He didn’t. The steady stream of urine as he released his bladder was his only response to my demand. Pussy.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Maxie, can’t we discuss this like reasonable adults without all the unnecessary threats of violence? I’m offering you an opportunity to have more power than you ever thought possible. The two of us together could run this fucking town however we wanted, and no one could stop us.” She tried to move closer to where I was standing a few feet away. Her practiced smile had slipped into something that made her look more deranged than ever before.

“And if I refuse, you’ll what? Kill me like you did the senator?” Keep her talking, Max.

“Oh, please…Don’t tell me you felt sorry for that impotent clod and his inevitable demise? I did him a favor, which was more than he ever did for you. All those nights he snuck down here in the dark to finger your little asshole when his dick stopped working. He served his purpose.” I tried to swallow it down, the paralyzing bombshell she so casually dropped on top of my head. It temporarily knocked the wind out of me and left me dazed. My mother took that as an opportunity to advance and went for the gun. She lacked the strength to hold on to it, so I rewarded her with a butt to the stomach that knocked her on her ass.

“Try that shit again, and I’ll make you fucking regret it.” She hacked up a lung and sputtered gobs of saliva each time she tried to take a deep breath. She lumbered back to her original position against the wall next to Jeremy, far enough away where I could watch her. She had gotten too close. Another second, and she would have had me at a disadvantage, maybe even dead like the senator. No one knew about Heaven and the fact that she was missing. If I died by my mother’s hand, she’d be lost forever. I pulled my phone from my pocket and noticed the early morning hour. I hated what I had to do next, but there was no one else I trusted more than Range to see things through.

“Hello,” he whispered into the receiver so he didn’t wake Clover.

“I’m sorry I woke you…I don’t have a lot of time, Range, so listen carefully. If something happens to me, you gotta find my woman. Promise me, Range. She deserves to go home.” He was wide awake now, yelling for me to tell him where I was at the same time barking orders at Clover to get Sebastian on the phone. I didn’t have time to go into details, and the more I wasted on the phone, the less I’d have to find Heaven. I hadn’t counted on the fact that I’d missed him so much, his voice so strong yet comforting, it created a thickness to my throat like I’d swallowed a handful of marshmallows. The more time I spent talking to him, the more likely I was to break down in front of the two people. I couldn’t afford to have them see me that way. My only recourse was to speak faster and pray it was enough information to lead him on the right path to finding her.

“Calm down. You’re not making any sense. Max, where the fuck are you?” I could tell from the commotion in the background that he was moving around his room, throwing things against the wall and failing miserably to control his anger.

“Haven Sloan. You got that, Range? Haven Sloan. Find her and make things right. I’m counting on you, brother.” I ignored the rest of what he was screaming and hung up the phone without another word. My brothers were the most important people in my life. They never gave up until the day I forced them to, and that would always be my biggest regret. I’d wasted so much time blaming them for my fuck-ups when I was too blinded by my own insecurities to see that the one thing I always had was their love. Buck, in his infinite wisdom, had tried to prepare me for the day he wouldn’t be around to protect me from myself. Lean on your brothers, boy, trust your bond. I’d turned that statement into one big fucking joke, betrayed the brotherhood, and pissed on the memory of the best father ever known, Buck Calhoun. I hoped one day they would forgive me and remember that I was once their friend, their family, and dearest brother.

“Is that the motherfucking thanks I get for trying to make things better for you?” My mother’s raspy voice bought me back to the present situation. She was a complete mess. Spittle dripped from the corners of her mouth, her hair was in disarray, and her clothing was sopping wet with piss from Jeremy’s weak-ass bladder.

“You wanted to know so fucking bad who the person was who liked to visit you in the middle of night? Well, now you do, so fucking what? You think you had it bad, Maxie? One old decrepit fuck who couldn’t get it up, and your life was ruined? Try spreading your ass for a shitload of men who enjoyed nothing more than to fuck and fight every chance they got. You had it so easy, Maxie. I did everything in my power to make things better for you, better than they ever were for me, and that’s how you repay my kindness?”

That knock to her stomach must have unscrambled whatever screw came loose in her head ‘cause she was back to her closed-lipped smile and hateful rant. She was never going to admit to any wrongdoing, that the things that were done to me in this very room were sick and twisted for any child to have gone through. It all just seemed so unimportant now; the bad memories and nightmares were nothing compared to the thought of losing Heaven. I was no longer its hostage. Like Buck had always told me, I was strong as long as I believed in myself.

“You tried to make things better? How, Mother? By singing and humming while you watched your fucking husband abuse his son for years just so you could keep living the rich life?” My jaw clenched as I pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. My outburst made her laugh uncontrollably, like a hyena in the jungle on one of those wildlife shows Clover was fond of watching. I thought she’d lost her fucking mind, laughing like a complete fool, until she sobered up and struck back.

“Did you honestly think I had a child with that weak little man lying upstairs dead in a pile of his own shit and piss?” She shook her head and tsked, as if the very idea was sickening to her.

“I was already pregnant when the senator paid the necessary amounts of cash to purchase his merchandise, lock, stock, and barrel.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Mother? Are you saying he bought you like a piece of furniture or something? You expect me to believe that shit?”

“Oh no, my dear, sweet boy. He didn’t buy me…he bought and paid for you. I merely came along for the ride.” She smirked triumphantly, the dagger she delivered embedded securely in the middle of my chest. My life was one big fucking lie after another. Nothing was what I’d thought it was, including where I came from. Who was my real father? Did he know about me? Why didn’t he come for me when I’d needed him? So many unanswered questions left in the hands of a psychotic woman.

“So, that’s why you never came looking for me, because I was a bargaining chip for you and your rich lifestyle? You make me sick, Mother, you and your bullshit excuses for what a lousy mother you were. You couldn’t begin to understand what my life was like after I escaped from this hell. Fuck you and your so-called kindness. It wasn’t for my benefit; it was to ease your own conscience.”

“I didn’t come looking for you because I didn’t have to. I knew exactly where you were. I’ve always known.” She gloated with a smugness that made me see red.

“The day I read in the newspaper that Buck Calhoun was dead, I knew for sure you’d come back…All I had to do was wait.”

Her ensuing laughter was sinister. It provoked me to retaliate, to make it stop. I rushed her like a charging buffalo and struck her in the head with the butt of my M4, just hard enough to knock her out and put an end to her incessant cackling. Jeremy moved as far away from her as he could. He begged me not to hurt him next and vowed not to try anything. She’d reduced me to nothing more than an animal. My control had snapped along with my humanity. I grabbed Jeremy by the shirt collar, slapped and kicked him repeatedly in the face and stomach until he crumpled on the floor and cried for his mother. My violent rampage was just what I needed to ease my pent-up anger I felt towards my mother. I collapsed in the opposite corner of the room and quietly sang myself into a much-needed moment of peace.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.

Please don’t take my Maxie away.