Chapter Twenty-One
Nick
When I’d caught Evie staring at my chest, I’d had to discreetly adjust my dick. I wanted to help; I meant that completely. But she was Evie James, and no matter how much she’d changed, she was still hot as hell. I thought seeing her in my oversized t-shirt was sexy? Well the girl slept in outfits that belonged on a lingerie mannequin. And it’s not as if I was hitting on her, or flirting. I’d caught her blatantly staring at me. The fact that she’d been so caught up in my body that she didn’t hear her phone ringing was a bit of an ego boost. It was also a hella turn-on. I was fucking human, after all.
When she ended her call she was quiet, so I paused the show I hadn’t really been watching. “Everything okay?” Something about that phone conversation had shocked her. And I’d heard genuine emotion in her voice, concern for someone else. Over the past few days I’d seen anger, annoyance, defeat, exhaustion, gratitude, and hints of lust. But never concern.
She waved her manicured hand in the air. “Oh, yeah. More Devil’s Spawn drama.”
“Devil’s Spawn?” I laughed lightly. “I thought your family was in the music industry, not a motorcycle club.”
She giggled and the sound made my hard-on grow. I grabbed a spare pillow and put it over my lap. “A group name, encompassing my cousins and me. There are ten of us.”
“I remember.” She’d spoken a little about her family when we’d met for the first time. And from being around some of her uncles at the Revival Ink in Austin, I knew there were a lot of kids in that family. I was looking for an unsexy distraction, because my cock had to fucking deflate. Banging was not on the table. Evie needed my help, not my tongue down her throat. “Tell me more about them.”
She looked at me, a real smile on her face. “Not much to tell.” She didn’t want to talk about them, but it was clear that she loved her family very much. I could count on one hand the number of real smiles I’d seen from her since we had reconnected.
I tried again, needing to know more about her life. There was more to Evie than fake friends and prescription drug addictions. “You told whoever you were talking to about me, about the Adderall.”
She sank down farther under the covers, turning to face me. She was more relaxed than I’d seen her, maybe ever. “Beau, he’s my Uncle Jacks’s son. That was who called.” She moved one shoulder, making her tank-top strap slide down her arm. “He and I are closer these days than I am with anyone else, I guess. He knows a little about my life here in Dallas.”
Her cousin, that she was close with, knew about her pill problem? How could he stand by and let her slowly kill herself?
“So why isn’t he up here, helping you get better?” If any one of my cousins had problems like Evie did, I’d be glued to their side. I’d do everything in my power to support them.
“I said he knows a little. He doesn’t know everything, Nicky.” I hated how much I liked it when she said my name like that. Soft and sweet. “Plus, life at the compound can be all-consuming. He has enough to deal with down there; he doesn’t need to be worrying about me too.”
I snorted out an amused laugh. “You sound like you guys don’t have parents. He’s not the father to nine kids, is he?”
“No.” She laid her cheek on the back of her hand. “We all have parents. I told you before, we keep the parents out of our messes. We tend to like to fix problems ourselves.”
“I grew up with a single mom who worked her ass off to make ends meet, and she was still on top of everything I did.” I couldn’t get a C in school without my mom knowing and wanting to talk about it. It was hard to believe that Evie had developed a pill addiction, and completely changed everything about herself without her parents catching on.
“It’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it, I guess.”
I didn’t want to push her to discuss anything that would make her upset. I’d read about the mood swing side effects of stopping the Adderall. I knew that pretty much anything had the potential to set her off at this point.
“You’re different when you talk to your family.” I turned on my side too, mirroring her position. Our faces were close. If I was thinking about kissing her, which I wasn’t, I’d only have to lean in a few inches. I could smell the orange scent of her hair.
She wrinkled her forehead. “Different how?”
I let my eyes search hers. “Softer? More real, I guess. You remind me of the Evie I used to know.”
Her small smile turned a little sad. “Did you ever really know me though?”
I put my hand on the back of her head, making sure she was paying attention. “I know you, Evie. I’ve been inside you. I remember who you were before you let this world change you, harden you. I know you like to read, I know you get homesick, and you get your feelings hurt. I know you love dogs and you bite your bottom lip when you’re unsure of something. I. Know. You.”
She closed her eyes, almost like she was trying to keep my words out. “It was one night, Nicky.”
I could have let her think what she wanted, that I’d never known her at all. I could have changed the subject and brought back her lighter mood. I could have done a lot of things. But instead, I went somewhere I shouldn’t have gone.
“It was everything. And we both damn well know it.”
I pulled her toward me, kissing her against all better judgment. Her lips were soft against mine, her mouth opening without hesitation. All rational thought left my brain when one of her sexy little whimpers slipped free. I had one hand on her jaw and tangled the other in her dark locks. She rolled onto her back, her legs wrapping around my waist as I moved to hover over her. Before I could stop myself, I ground against her center, making her gasp in pleasure. I traveled lower, taking her nipple between my teeth through her thin shirt. Her hands slipped between us, her palm finding my rigid cock.
“More. Nicky, I need—”
Her words broke the spell that had been put on my body. I need. “Fuck, Evie, I’m sorry.” I knew exactly what she needed, and it wasn’t me mauling her when I was basically holding her here against her will to help her detox. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“What?” She shook her head, confusion clear on her face. “Why did you stop? What’s wrong?”
I sat back, pulling her with me. “The last thing we need to do right now is have sex.” I chuckled at how stupid I’d almost been. “The absolute last fucking thing.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes trained in her lap. “I know I’m not the same girl I was when we first met. I don’t look the same.”
“You’re still beautiful, Evie.” I couldn’t let her think that I stopping things was because I didn’t want her.
“I don’t always act the same. I’m a mess, believe me, I get it.”
“You’re not the same girl from two years ago.” I put my finger under her chin, making her look at me. “But you know what, I’m not the same guy either. People change, Evie. It so happens that some of your changes could end up killing you.” I sent her a really sad smile. “I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, little bird.”
“I don’t deserve your help.”
I took her face in my hands, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “Yes, you do.” I lay down, tucking her against my body and trying to keep my dick from poking her ass.
Everyone deserved to have someone looking out for them. I’d looked out for her the first night we’d spent together. I’d done everything I could to make sure she’d felt safe and cared for. And I’d keep doing it, as long as she’d let me.
Within in a few minutes, she was fast asleep. I didn’t know how the rest of the night was going to go. I didn’t know which Evie I was going to get from one moment to the next. But for now, she was content and calm in my arms.
And I was more than happy to watch over her.