Chapter Twenty-Four
Caroline
I climbed into the car and called Meghan to let her know I was on the way to the beach to meet up with her. I felt a bit relieved to get away from Harrison for a little while so I could clear my mind. I knew he was a good guy, but I just had to get things sorted out before I continued with him in confidence. When I got to the beach, I sent Meghan a text. “Just arrived. Are you here?”
“Yes. Just have him drop you off, and I will take you back to your hotel. I will walk near the edge of the beach. You can’t miss me.”
“OK.”
I let the driver know that I would be fine by myself, and after he had helped me out the car, I scanned the beach for Meghan. Guys walked around shirtless with muscular, athletic bodies. Tall, short, long hair, and cropped. For a moment, I wished that my life could be that easy. Why couldn’t I find a young version of Harrison? Someone who was NOT Sarah’s father. Just then, I saw Meghan lift her hand into the air and flag me down. She wore a large hat and a skimpy bikini that showed off her body. I walked across the sand as the grains found their way between my toes. We embraced each other when I was close.
“Hey, girl! It is good to see you again! I thought I wasn’t going to lay eyes on you until I made a visit from Seattle in another year or so.”
“Yeah, so did I.”
She grabbed my hand and led me across the sand until we got to her spot. There was an umbrella perched in the sand, providing shade for two large beach towels that laid underneath. Clear blue water brushed against the shore as we laid down on the towels. Meghan removed her shades to get a better view of the guys that eased past us, smiling in our direction. “Umph. I wish I could take a handful of these men to Seattle with me. I am going to be so lonely out there.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll make friends easily. You are such a people person, and for some reason, everyone is drawn to you. You’re like a magnet for people.”
“Yeah,” she said as she placed her glasses back over her eyes, “you’re right. Everyone loves me.” She laughed as I rolled my eyes at her cockiness. “So, how’s the job going? Do you think it is enough to make you stay put instead of moving out here?”
I untied the towel from around my waist and leaned back underneath the shade. “I don’t know. I mean, I love the job. It is exactly what I went to school for, so I can’t complain. I just don’t know if I want to spend my life in Cottonwood.”
“Your life?” she asked, quizzically, “Who is talking about your life? I just mean for right now, you know? Get a few years of experience, so your options open up more once you do decide to leave.”
“Oh,” I said as she pulled me towards her train of thought. For some reason, my mind went straight to Harrison, as if she was speaking in regard to him. That was another thing about our relationship. I knew that he was probably set in his ways, and moving out of Cottonwood may not be something that he would want to do. I didn’t plan on living there for the rest of my life, though. We hadn’t talked about it, but we hadn’t even gotten to that point yet, and I wasn’t one to put the cart before the horse. “Yeah, for right now,” I continued. “Well, for right now, it is alright. I mean, the people are cool. It is close to home, and the pay is good, so for right now, yeah. It’s alright.”
She didn’t say anything, and after a few moments passed by, I turned towards her. She glared at me with one eyebrow lifted above the other as if she knew I was withholding information. “What?” I said, smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?’
“Because, I know there is more to that story, Caroline. So, I will sit and wait for you to tell me everything else.”
“Everything else?”
She removed her glasses and placed them on the towel. “So, are you really going to think I don’t know anything about you two? Really? You do know that my little sister and my cousin still go to ASU.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Johnathan is a fucking bastard, Meghan. He is a fucking bastard.”
She laughed. “Yeah, he is. I could’ve told you that. He is a spoiled little punk, and I know you already knew it, but for some reason, you still wanted to let him hang around you like a little puppy dog, so… that’s what happened.”
“I mean, he looked at my phone when Harrison texted me and then jumped to conclusions after that. He is a fucking stalker, and I’m glad I smacked him in the face.” She laughed out loud as I continued, “It’s not funny, Meghan!”
She caught her breath. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine you smacking anyone. Not a guy. Not in a million years.”
“Well, I did. I hit him pretty good, too. He deserved it.” Another group of guys walked by us, tossing a football in the air. One of them winked towards me, but I rolled my eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t try to talk to me. My heart wasn’t on anyone except Harrison, and as much as I didn’t want it to be that way, that’s just how it was. “Well, maybe he didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t up-front with him, and that’s what I get.”
“Yeah, but he was stalking you. That is not cool.” She stopped laughing and put her shades back on. “But back to you and Harrison. Are you two really fucking?” I hesitated to answer her because I didn’t know how she would react. Meghan wasn’t as judgmental as most people, but I felt like this situation could bring it out of her. “Caroline? Come on, tell me. Are you two fucking?”
I sighed. “Yes. We fucked a few times and… I really don’t know how it happened. One minute, I was at his house consoling him and the next, he was on top of me.”
“He raped you!?”
“No, no!” I said, quickly putting an end to the thought. “No. I was completely willing to let him screw me. It was just… I just wasn’t supposed to happen.” I looked away from her as the sun beamed down onto the water. I could feel tears tiptoeing into my eyes as thoughts of Sarah filled my mind. “I mean, it just looks shitty, you know? It looks real shitty of me as Sarah’s best friend.”
I wiped my eyes as Meghan got up and put her arm around me. “I’ll be honest, it does look shitty, but nobody knows what is going on between you two. Well, what is going on between you two? Is this just like a fling or something? Or is it more?”
“I don’t know, Meghan. I like him. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, but it’s just the situation that we are in. The way people think about us. The way people will think about me. You have already heard the rumors that Johnathan started at ASU. I just don’t want to deal with all that stuff, you know? I don’t want people to think that I am this shitty-ass person who fucked her best friend’s dad after she died.”
“Yeah, I can see some people coming to that conclusion.” I sighed. Meghan would always tell me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear. I appreciated that about her. “But fuck them.” I twisted my face while I looked in her direction. “Yeah, fuck them. Fuck all of them. Fuck them at ASU and anywhere else that has anything to say about what you are doing with Harrison. You are a grown woman, and he is a grown man. What you two do is your business. I don’t know how you two got together, and honestly, I don’t care, because again, that is not my business. If you like him, or if you just want to get fucked for a little while by a fine-ass older man, that’s up to you. Fuck everyone else.”
Her answer surprised me. I thought she was going to give me a list of reasons why I should stop talking to Harrison, but she didn’t. She told me exactly what I needed to hear. The feelings didn’t go away immediately, but I knew that I would eventually see things the way she did. She was right. I am grown, and so is Harrison, so neither of us should care what anybody else thought about what we had going on between each other. Without warning, I put my arms around Meghan. “Thank you for that. Honestly. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Caroline. Now, I am no Sarah, but I am always willing to hear you out. I know that she was your bestie and all, and she can’t be replaced, but I just want you to know that I am here for you. Anytime you need me, I am here for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. Now,” she stood up and wiped the sand from her behind, “I am going to walk my sexy ass around on this beach and see what kind of men I can scrounge up for myself. You aren’t the only one who can find a sexy-ass man to have sex with. Come on,” she said as she pulled me up by my arm. “You are coming with me. Even if you aren’t giving your pussy away, you can at least act like you are for me. Come on.”
I laughed as she pulled me across the sandy beach to approach a huddle of young boys. I needed this time alone with her because it helped confirm what I needed to do with Harrison. Later that night, she brought me back to the hotel. I went straight to Harrison’s room, and when he opened the door, I gave him a solemn glance. “Are you alright?” he asked cautiously.
I closed the gap between us and planted a kiss on his lips, then wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry, Harrison. I’m sorry for acting like such a bratty little girl yesterday because of some stupid rumors. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is us, and I know I’ve said that before, but this time, I mean it. No more outside noise will distract me from you, OK?”
He smiled, then held me tighter. For the first time, I felt that every insecurity I had about the way we got together had vanished into thin air. I was free to love Harrison in whatever way I wanted to, because it was our business and that was all that mattered. I could only hope that he felt the same way about me.