CHAPTER TWO

Chloe didn’t know how much time passed while she was in the bathroom. After she threw up, she had just sat there on the floor, hugging her arms and legs to her chest and rocking back and forth. She was suddenly so cold. Her body was going from one extreme to the other, and it was so distracting that she couldn’t keep her mind focused on what was truly happening here.

Derek was sitting in the other room. At least, that’s where she left him. His wife was dead. Her sister? She couldn’t wrap her head around that, but yet why did she have this horrible pain in her chest when she had that thought. It felt like grief…but why would she grieve a person she never knew existed? Or maybe, the grief was for her. Maybe the grief was for a whole life unnecessarily wasted.

“Chloe?” Derek was knocking on the door.

The simple sound of it caused her heart to pound along with it. She looked around, and her surroundings finally came into focus. She was curled up in a space about a foot wide between the toilet and the port side window. She had gone from heaving and sweating to freezing and shaking. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this. Jesse spent years feeding off her fear. It was like foraging on it gave his black soul the sustenance it needed to survive. Since she escaped that hell, she promised herself never again. She wouldn’t allow this man or any other to see her fear.

He knocked again.

“Chloe, I’m getting worried. You’ve been in there for a long time. Can I come in?”

“No! Do not come in!” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She willed herself to stay calm. Fear cannot only be seen by those who want to nourish themselves on it; it can be smelled and felt as well.

“I’m coming out. Just give me another minute.”

“Okay.” He sounded distressed.

Maybe he really was worried about her, or maybe he was playing some sick game with her, the way that Jesse used to like to play games. It amused him to see her like this. Maybe Derek was amused as well. She still didn’t really know this man. A beautiful face and body and a night of unbridled passion do not make a relationship.

He was a stranger, and in the worst case scenario, he was a stranger that was somehow connected to the monster that continues to haunt her nightmares…both sleeping and awake.

Chloe pulled herself up off the floor, and she had to reach out and take hold of the little medicine cabinet on the wall to steady herself. Once she began to feel like her shaky legs would at least hold her weight and she wasn’t going to collapse, she took the two steps to the sink and grabbed onto the little vanity. She held herself there and looked into the mirror. She didn’t like what she saw there. Her face was swollen and stained from the tears, and her blue contacts swam in them, one of them sliding down so far that her brown eye peeked out from underneath.

Taking another cleansing breath, Chloe washed her hands, adjusted the contacts, washed her face and brushed her long brown hair back out of her face with her fingers. Lastly, she used the mouthwash on the counter to rinse her mouth and then she drank a long gulp of water. She looked at herself again. The picture still wasn’t pretty, she thought, but it wasn’t pathetic either, and that was what mattered.

She turned and took hold of the door knob. Looking composed at last although everything inside of her was shaking, she went out into the other room where Derek waited.

She opened the door and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed. He was staring at her, but he at least had enough sense to know that he needed to stay where he was and not invade her space.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she said. She stood where she was, neither of them sure of what to say.

Derek finally broke the silence by saying, “I knew that you looked like her, but I didn’t know. I mean I still don’t know.”

“How is it possible that we look exactly the same and share a birthday?”

“I haven’t wrapped my head around the birthday thing yet. I don’t know. But you don’t look exactly the same. Sarah’s eyes were brown.” He was looking at her eyes.

“What?”

“Are your eyes brown, Chloe?”

She turned away from him and looked out the window. With her back to him, she said, “You just slept with me because I look like your late wife and you don’t even know what color my eyes are.”

“I see the blue, Chloe. I’m just looking for explanations, I guess. I’m really just trying to put this all together in my head. It was strange enough that you looked like her twin, but now I know you were born on the same day too. It just seems like too much to be a coincidence.”

“Or maybe you’re just trying to take the focus off the fact that you went seeking out a woman who looks identical to your supposedly dead wife.”

“She’s not “supposedly” dead. She’s dead. I killed her.”

Chloe felt another wave of nausea rip through her, but she quelled it. When she was able to speak, she said, “You killed her?”

Derek leaned his head forward and ran his hands roughly through his hair. Chloe looked at his hands and remembered how they had touched her last night. Now they were shaking. It would be almost impossible for her to reconcile that with a man who had killed his wife.

He looked up at her at last and said, “We were in the car, driving home from a fund raiser. My phone slid off the console and onto the floor down by my feet. I should have left it there, but I didn’t.”

His voice sounded like it was choking back sobs and the look on his face was raw anguish, and in spite of herself, Chloe felt her heart going out to him. “I bent down to pick it up, and a car crossed the center divider at the same time. He hit us head on. Sarah died instantly.”

Chloe started to speak and found that there was a lump in her throat and that strange feeling of grief was still piercing her chest.

She cleared her throat and said, “Why was the other car there?”

Derek’s watery eyes found hers, and he said, “The driver was drunk. His blood alcohol was three times the legal limits. He bounced off the dash and walked away without a scratch.”

“It doesn’t sound to me like you killed her.” She didn’t know if she welcomed the relief that washed over her or not. That, coupled with the sympathy she felt for him made it more difficult to stay wary of his intentions.

“If I had been paying attention, maybe I could have swerved out of the way,” he said. He had obviously replayed it over in his head countless of times.

“How long ago did this happen?” she asked.

“Two years. She was twenty-two when she died.”

Two years and he was still grieving. Unless he was an academy award winning actor, the pain that showed in his eyes and across his face was real and still as fresh as ever. Chloe walked towards the window. Derek’s eyes were suddenly back on her. She could see the worried look out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he was afraid that she would take off. She wanted to, but before she did that, she needed some answers.

“I still don’t understand why I look so much like her.”

Derek looked like he wasn’t sure if he should tell her what he was thinking or not. He finally said, “Sarah was born a twin.”

Chloe felt her heart lurch in her chest.

He went on, “The twin died at birth according to her parents.”

“Maybe they gave her away,” Chloe retorted. She felt anger towards these people that she didn’t know. She felt anger towards Derek. At the same time though, she felt compassion for him and grief for the girl who died. The conflicting emotions were all battling in her head for top spot and leaving her exhausted and with an incessant throbbing in her temples.

“No. There’s no way they would have done that. They still grieve for her.”

“Then I can’t be her. There has to be another explanation.”

Chloe felt disappointment now. That didn’t make any sense to her. Why would she be disappointed that she wasn’t related to people who chose to throw her away?

“The resemblance alone is more than remarkable, Chloe. But, when you put that together with the birthdate and the fact that you were adopted. You don’t have brown eyes, do you, Chloe?”

“You’re going back to that again?”

“When they get watery, I can see a brown rim around the outside of the blue, and I’m really just trying to wrap my head around this.”

“They’re brown, okay. I wear contacts.” She didn’t know why she admitted that other than she wanted some answers to and she wanted them now. She knew that she looked even more like that photo than she did. Or at least Kelly Ward did.

“Why?”

“Why what? Why do I wear contacts? Lots of people wear contact lenses. I make my living on my looks. I do things to enhance my appearance.”

“It’s hard to imagine that your appearance needed enhancing. I can’t understand why a beautiful woman would try so hard to change her appearance.”

“As I said, lots of people do it. There’s nothing strange or sinister about it.”

He was dwelling too much on that. Next, he would be asking her if she was in hiding. She wasn’t ready for him to be that close. She doubted that she would ever be ready for that, with anyone.

He seemed to let that go for now, but then he said, “Maybe we should go talk to Sarah’s parents. Maybe they can help us figure this out.”

“No!”

“Chloe listen to me. If these are your parents, don’t you want to know?”

“No! If they’re my parents, then they’re just like everyone else that I’ve ever trusted. If they’re my parents, they went through a great deal of trouble to get rid of me. I doubt they would be happy to have me show up on their doorstep.”

“They’re not like that, Chloe. These are good, decent people. They loved their daughters, both of them. They still care for me, after everything that happened they treat me like a son. Someone led them to believe that one of their children was dead…they have grieved her for over twenty-four years. Then, they lost the only surviving one as well. They would be so happy.”

“No! Promise me that you’re not going to say anything to them. I need to figure this out on my own.”

He stood up then and started towards her. She moved away, making herself as small as she could against the wall. It was a tactic that she used with Jesse. It was instinctual. She felt threatened again. It wasn’t a physical threat that she felt from Derek…but it was a threat, nonetheless.

He stopped moving when he saw her clutch the wall. He lowered his voice so that it was almost a whisper and he said, “I would never hurt you, Chloe. I want to help. You don’t have to do everything alone.”

“What’s their name?” she said.

“Trevor and Samantha Whitemore.” He said. “They live in New York. We could go there together.”

“No! I’m not going there. Please, Derek, promise me that you’ll let me sort this out. I at least need a few days to let this absorb. It’s too much! I’m not going to make any rash decisions based on speculation and coincidence. I don’t operate that way. I need you to promise me that you won’t say anything to them.”

Derek looked reluctant, to say the least. But at last, he said, “I promise you, Chloe. I won’t tell them…for now. But I’m going to try and figure this out too, on my end. These people mean a great deal to me. If their daughter is still alive, they deserve to know. I also hope that you’ll let me help you. Please, don’t shut me out.”

Chloe didn’t say anything to that. Instead, she said, “Will you take me home?”