SPRING
Dvorak’s violin sonatas echoed throughout the rooftop patio of the Madison Club as guests arrived and found their seats, mingling with familiar faces. I peered out the window of Ella’s dressing room, observing the growing crowd.
“Wow,” I mumbled in awe, “do you even know all of these people?”
Lizzie was beneath Ella’s dress, fixing the way some lining hung beneath the layers of chiffon flowing from Ella’s waist.
“No.” Ella giggled. “I feel really sick.” I turned from the window toward Ella as Lizzie stood to hold her shoulders.
“It’s just nerves,” Lizzie assured her.
“You say that like you’ve done this before,” Ella teased, holding a hand to her forehead.
Lizzie pursed her lips, pretending to think, and then returned to smiling. “There was that one time, but…we don’t speak of that anymore.”
Ella climbed from the small box she had been standing on and pulled us to the full-length mirror, admiring what she saw with a beaming grin. “We look hot.”
Ella’s mom and Mrs. New Boobs knocked as they entered the room. Some warning! Ella’s mom was wearing a tasteful blush-colored floor-length dress with small sequins dotting the neckline and capped sleeves, lessening in quantity as they reached the high asymmetrical band of silk around her waist. Her brown hair was pulled tightly into a bun, but some of her natural curls escaped. Her elegant form was breathtaking as she flowed like a graceful cloud toward Ella.
“Don’t make me cry, Mom,” Ella warned, holding her hands up defensively.
“Jesus,” Lizzie quietly groaned in my ear as our gaze turned to Jesse’s stepmother. I was embarrassed for Ella, knowing she had approved Mrs. New Boobs’ dress and imagining the fight to accept this one. How short were the dresses Ella vetoed? It was the antithesis of Ella’s classy, elegant mother.
“You look beautiful, dear!” Mrs. New Boobs kissed Ella’s cheek while Ella’s mom still hung on to Ella’s embrace. Her dress, approaching three inches above her knees, was entirely blush sequins with a plunging neckline that highlighted her new…work. Poor Jesse and Ella. I caught myself smiling in the mirror, imagining Sean’s embarrassment when Mrs. New Boobs would surely flirt with him later. As she turned around, I gasped, noticing the back of her dress plunged even deeper than the front. My eyes bugged from my face, turning to Lizzie for reprieve. Her hands went in the air, shrugging, and then she pretended to cough as an attempt to hide her laughter.
“How are the boys?” Ella’s mom inquired, adjusting some pins in her daughter’s hair.
“We haven’t checked,” Lizzie replied. “Should we?”
“We can,” Jesse’s stepmother suggested far too happily. I’d pay to see that.
***
I adjusted the way my blush sequin dress hung on my shoulders, nervously straightening my back as I stood in the hallway. The day was bittersweet, and I found myself nervous for everyone’s emotions.
“You look amazing,” Sean murmured smoothly, his lips tickling the base of my bare neck with his greeting.
“Don’t do that,” I warned, avoiding eye contact. My skin ignited beneath his mouth, and I was already moments from fainting. We were the last couple to walk down the aisle before Ella’s glorious arrival.
Sean held his elbow out for me to take in my right hand. “Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“I’m not going to be one of them.”
“One of whom?” His playful chuckle sent goose bumps dancing along my skin.
As I held his arm, I observed Lizzie from behind as she walked toward the altar with Jesse’s younger brother. Alone, one couldn’t imagine the long blush sequin dresses Ella chose for us would match so well with Jesse’s idea of hipster elegance for his groomsmen. However, sequins and skinny ties with argyle or polka dot socks seemed to work, and it was a beautiful medley of Ella and Jesse.
“Your groupies. I will not become one of them,” I mumbled, smiling. Sean lifted my chin toward him with his free hand, eyeing me warily.
“I think it’s too late,” he teased, grinning at me before delicately placing a kiss upon my forehead.
The music shifted, announcing our cue to enter the room where the crowd of people silently studied us as violins sang from the corner. Sean and the two other groomsmen were stylishly fitted into black suits with narrow black ties and crisp white shirts. Jesse was wearing only a fitted black vest and a blush-colored tie. Each man wore uniquely patterned socks beneath their loafers, Jesse’s personal touch.
“Maybe we should do this too,” Sean whispered through smiling teeth as we were halfway down the aisle. Why does he do this to me?
“You wish,” I taunted in a mumble as I smiled on our journey toward Jesse. He looked quite handsome and so nervous, our dear Jesse. Sean impishly raised his eyebrows when I caught his glance. He took my left hand from the bouquet, lifting it to his mouth and pressing a slow, gentle kiss against my skin. Jesse laughed between us, patting his best man’s back before Sean and I separated. The music changed, and we all turned to the doorway.
I didn’t fight the tears that dribbled down my blushed cheeks as Ella approached. Her father kissed her cheek before letting Jesse take her hands. I almost fainted from the emotions, the excitement. I was distracted throughout the ceremony by Sean’s tauntingly playful grin stretching along his face, wounding me. He was so back, it killed me in the best way possible.
When the ceremony finished, Sean and I joined Lizzie and Jesse’s brother in a private room. Tables were spread with snacks, decorative local microbrews, and small bottles of Ella’s favorite wine. Lizzie and Jesse’s brother tended to the piles of confetti we were expected to dump on the couple later, while Sean and I needed to prepare the marriage license. Ella and Jesse were concluding their brief receiving line while the four of us finished our tasks. I didn’t know we would be so busy with wedding preparations during the actual wedding. I took the white paper from a manila folder as the judge entered the room. His smile remained, glued to his handsome face since presiding over the wedding ceremony. He looked around at the treats, giving Sean enough time to pester me.
“You look incredible, Avery.”
“Thank you. You could look better,” I teased, responding to his embrace. He smells too nice.
“I do wish for that,” he hummed above my ear, continuing his distracting comments from our walk down the aisle, “and for a lot more with you. More time, more of you being my favorite groupie, more Avery.”
“Sean.” I wiggled from his proximity, biting my lip to contain the excitement rippling through me. “Wait.”
“You told me to wait until I was out of the hospital, and not only am I back home, but it has been a month since my last treatment. I’m not going anywhere. I want to not go anywhere with you, Ave.” He reached for me, holding me against him. “I love you.”
I pulled my head from his chest, lifting it to see those distractingly beautiful emeralds. Sean wasn’t smiling, wasn’t flirting, and wasn’t teasing. I swallowed as my heart climbed into my throat, taunting my mouth.
“You almost died.” The words barely choked from my throat. I studied his expression, consistently brooding and dangerously intoxicating.
“Almost. I came back for you.” He grinned, melting my knees. “I’m not going to leave you.”
***
Sean and I waited at the elevator in the hotel lobby, which tediously descended. I switched my weight, balancing in my nude heels. Sean was laughing at me, his mouth deliciously pulling apart into an intoxicating grin.
“What’s so funny?”
“You.”
“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes. “These shoes are a nightmare. You can laugh all you want, Sean, but then you won’t get to see them come off.”
“I’m sorry.” He fought his grin, biting his lips to force his mouth closed.
The elevator arrived, and two elderly ladies wiggled out. As the doors closed on us, Sean reached for my hand, winding his fingers between mine. I looked up at him, watching the smirk spread apart his lips, and he squeezed my hand.
“Thanks for being my girl.” He winked at me, turning away to watch the doors open. A young couple entered, pushing us into the corner. Sean hugged his arms around my chest from behind, and I let my body fall against him. It tickled when his chin rested on my shoulder, his mouth on my neck.
“I’ll always be your girl,” I whispered, turning to meet his mouth. He quietly hummed his appreciation against my lips.
“We’ll always be more than friends, Ave.” His mouth pressed against my ear. “I love you. I always have, and don’t you forget that.” I smiled, pressing my head against his chin.
“Do your feet still hurt?” I nodded in response.
We quietly stood while the elevator lifted to the couple’s floor, and they exited. As we approached the seventh floor, Sean stepped from behind me and grabbed my left hand. He took the room key from his interior coat pocket and pulled me along with him out of the elevator.
“Wait,” I ordered. He stopped, still clinging to my hand, and humorously watched me as I struggled to remove my heels. I pulled off the shoes, balancing against Sean’s shoulder, and held them by the ankle straps.
“Ready?” He grinned at me with eyebrows lifting expectantly, the familiar grin that melted the hearts of his forlorn undergraduates…and me.
The hotel suite had a balcony with a beautiful southwestern view that overlooked Lake Monona, the Terrace, and a glimpse of the Capitol. I spotted the duffel bag Mrs. New Boobs told me to unpack resting on the leather armchair by the balcony door.
“I’ll get the champagne ready,” Sean announced, heading into the kitchenette. “You do the…the girly stuff.” His hand waved behind him, signaling my dismissal and his lack of desire to handle Ella’s lingerie and the cutesy knickknacks I was ordered to display throughout the room.
I overheard the familiar gurgle of liquid pouring from a bottle as I unzipped the duffel. I gently pulled out the patches of fabric Jesse’s stepmother bought for Ella, blushing at the thought of her wearing so little. Even though I’d seen Ella naked before, this felt embarrassingly different. I felt like a voyeur seeing things I wasn’t meant to know. I needed to hang this stuff up and do so quickly. Sean was cackling a hearty, bellowing laugh when he entered the room, carrying two glasses of champagne.
“What is that?”
I blushed, holding the fabric up. “Mrs. Adler’s idea of a proper wedding night.”
“Please know you won’t need any of that on our wedding night,” he continued, laughing, handing me a glass.
“Your job with the champagne was to chill it for them, not make a glass for us.”
“I know. Oops. The bottle is back in the fridge.” He winked at me.
“To us.” He raised his glass into the air, clinking it with mine. “All that we’ve been through and all that we’ll see together.”
“Together.” The warm bubbles satisfied my tongue, and I selfishly finished mine, handing the empty glass back to Sean. “I need to finish with their things. Can you open the curtains and the balcony door?”
“Maybe,” he teased, “but I can’t really answer any more of your questions until you answer mine.”
I was busy taking more scraps from the duffel bag and found Ella’s toiletry bag, also packed by Jesse’s stepmother. Do I even want to open this?
“What?” I took out the bottles of perfume and makeup…and other things. Shudder. Sean caught my blush and chuckled, finishing his glass of champagne. He tied back the long beige and navy striped curtains and opened the balcony door.
“Come out here, Avery.” He motioned for me to join him on the small balcony. “Check out this view.” He whistled through his teeth, admiring the horizon.
Sean was poured into his suit, dapper and classy, ever the enticing young man I fell for. Three years. I joined Sean on the narrow balcony, studying the bright glow bouncing from the marble of the Capitol. His hands cupped the small sequin sleeves on my shoulders as he guided me to stand in front of him. It felt deceptively perfect standing on the balcony, Sean’s arms tightening around my shoulders from behind, his strong heart pounding against my back.
“You didn’t answer my question.” His whisper tingled my toes as he taunted with his chin pressing into my shoulder, just beneath my right ear.
“And what question was that?” Don’t you dare flirt with me when I have work to do in here! Sean slowly spun me around to face him, releasing his arms from my shoulders and pulling me against him.
“I’m alive. I’m here. I’m not leaving you. We didn’t go through the last three years, the last six months, just to slip away from one another.”
My eyes melted into his, watching the delicate way he studied me, the way he lovingly gazed into my soul. He looked so nice tonight, I couldn’t help but think it was Sean who stole the spotlight at the wedding. Wait. Slip away? Not going to happen.
“This is happening,” he cooed, and my knees trembled. Sean continued burning his green eyes into mine, paralyzing me into his putty. He held me as I lifted my palms to his chest, stroking the fabric of his coat and tie while I felt the swell of his muscles beneath. I thought of them warm, naked beneath my hands in his bed, thin and gray at the hospital. We’d been through it all together. He wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was I.
The warm spring breeze kissed my cheeks as it swept by our embrace, circling me in a cloud of Sean’s cologne and the city we called home together. I felt him move and lifted my head from his chest, always concerned with the smallest flinch. He was grinning auspiciously at me, stopping my breathing, as he reached into his pocket and my heart slammed into his.
“I’ve been carrying this around long enough.” He held a thin, white gold band between our faces. “We have been waiting for each other long enough, Avery.”
My gaze flashed between his glowing eyes, the tips of his fingers, and how gracefully he held the beautiful ring. I felt my throat tighten, everything inside of me competing with my mind. I realized my hands were trembling against his chest when his free hand clutched them together.
“Sean…” I flushed, blood pumping into my ears and legs becoming liquid. “I love you.”
“So,” he lifted my hand to his lips, softly pressing a kiss against my knuckles, “is that a yes?”
“You stubborn idiot,” I broke down, sobbing against his mouth as I stood on my tiptoes and smashed our mouths together. “It’s always been yes, Sean. It’s always been you.”
Once Jesse and Ella’s suite was decorated, Sean’s fingers wove into mine, aggressively holding our hands together while pulling us from their room. Ours was down the hall, and thankfully so, because the way his eyes darkened with the familiar glow of a predator catching its prey was destroying me.
With his left arm tightened around my waist, Sean unlocked our door. The panel couldn’t open fast enough for us, and he held it open with one foot while his hands found my hair. Pressed against him, I lifted to kiss Sean, our lips crashing together in desperation. He held my face against his while I scoured his body with my hands, unable to capture him in one touch. Sean held the back of my head with one hand while he tipped it back and slid his tongue along my throat.
Steps into the room, the door sealing us from the past, I was sandwiched between Sean and the wall. It was oppressive and indulgent and exactly what we needed. His hands roamed my body before Sean found the zipper of my dress and pulled it down while his teeth grazed my skin. His mouth left a trail of lust along my chest, the hollow space between my collarbone, pausing only to softly tug at my dress. The fabric pooled at my feet while I greedily reached for his tie, tugging him against me for a kiss before frantically unfastening the buttons of his shirt. His stomach was warm to my burning touch, his skin scorching my hands upon contact as I rolled my fingertips over every ridge of his abdomen.
We stumbled over the piles of our clothes, falling onto the bed behind us. The low, seductive rumble of Sean’s laughter rippled into my chest, and all I could do was gawk at him. His scars healed, and in the vulnerable moment of his captivating, naked body exposed beneath me, I only thought of how beautiful they were. Each one was a reminder of his life being saved, a life that was mine now. And I wanted every last piece of it, of him.
I struggled to breathe, forgoing consequences other than heedless bliss, as I rocked back and forth against him. His strong hands grasped my hips, quickening our pace as my name roared from his perfect lips. My thighs clenched his hips, trying to contain the euphoria building within my body, keeping with the rhythm he demanded of us, and it was incredible. Our bodies melted, pooling into one gorgeous and happy pile, filled with promise and love.
“Avery,” he hissed, biting his lip while his fingertips pierced my skin, climbing along my ribs to my shoulders, pulling my head down to his. His tongue was violent in its demand and exploration of my mouth, claiming me, promising more of this in our long life together. His touch was destructive, his tongue and teeth against my skin burning me into a hum of ecstasy as we fell apart together, our bodies molding into a shape destined to be, conforming to the peaceful aftermath of our fiery passion.
I shivered under the gentle stroking of his fingertips along my back, my body numbing blissfully to anything but Sean as our breathing matched, and he lowered his lips to mine once more.