Noam rolled his shoulders as he headed back to his car. Two nights in a row now he'd been called out to deal with a scene left by the 'Castrator'. He was glad to have the pedophiles off the streets, but damn it, couldn't they work normal hours, so he could get some sleep?
At the rate he was going, he'd be able to cook dinner for Kasey, then he'd fall asleep on the couch while they talked after. Not that he thought Kasey would mind. For once in his life, he was with someone who seemed to be able to deal with what he did. Not once had Kasey seemed to worry about him getting hurt on the job or questioned what Noam did.
His ex hated the fact he was a cop. Noam had been on the streets then, working as a uniformed officer. His ex had given him guilt trips about how he didn't love him enough because he was going out and risking his life every night. Noam hated it, but he put up with it because he didn't think he would find anyone else.
Ended up being a disaster when they broke up because there had been so many issues between them, that when it came to a head, it was an explosive one.
That was one thing he liked about Kasey. There wasn't any tension. They talked about everything, never condemning each other or putting pressure on the other. He didn't think there was anything he couldn't tell Kasey now that he knew his deepest secret.
How refreshing was it that he could admit to his injuries and his headaches, and still have Kasey want him? What were the chances that he would meet someone who didn't like sex? That still amazed him. If Kasey hadn't told him that first, he'd worry that Kasey had said it just to make him feel better, but Kasey had been the one to blurt it out before knowing anything about his injuries.
He couldn't stop thinking about Kasey. Even now, after leaving a horribly violent scene where one of the rookies had stepped on the man's detached cock, he still wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and call Kasey. He wanted to go home, get into something comfortable, and talk about his night, share everything with Kasey, hoping he understood his need to unleash all the gruesome details to someone because keeping them inside was slowly eating him up.
He could talk to the other detectives, the officers who also reported to the scene, but no one ever liked to show that the job was getting to them. It was like talking to the department psychologist, you felt as if you were weak if you were to go see her unless it was an order that you spend an hour with her due to protocol.
Did he dare talk about active cases with Kasey, share the horrors he saw with him? Of course, he'd tame them down some, he wouldn't give all the details, but even just getting a little of it off his chest would help.
He glanced at the clock on his dashboard, seeing it was almost two in the morning. He wondered if Kasey was home from work yet. He hated that they worked different hours. It wasn't a huge deal now, but the more their relationship grew, and the more nights they hopefully spent together, it would mean going to bed alone a lot. Still, he hoped that they got to the point that he could give Kasey a key and have him sneak in after work and crawl into bed beside him.
He pulled up in his driveway and into the garage, parking. It was late, but if Kasey was up, he wanted to talk. A text probably wouldn't wake him if he was asleep already.
Hoping for a response, he quickly typed out a text.
Hey, you still awake? -Noam
He shoved his phone into his pocket and headed into the house, pausing to pet Casper before heading down the hall to the bedroom. He'd just finished getting undressed when his phone beeped. He glanced down at the screen and smiled seeing Kasey's response.
I was just about to head home. What are you still doing up? - Kasey
I got called out on a crime scene. Just getting home myself. Call me? -Noam
It didn't take ten seconds before his phone was ringing. "Hello?"
"Hey, I didn't think I'd be able to say goodnight to you tonight. This is a nice surprise." Just the sound of Kasey's voice took the stress of the day away.
"Was a long night. Just needed to hear a friendly voice." Noam sank down on the bed. "How was your night?"
"It was a long one. I'm glad it's over. You okay? You sound down."
Noam sighed as he leaned back against the pillows, watching Casper on the bed beside him. "Yeah, I'm good. Sometimes the job gets to you. You can't unsee things, ya know?"
"Yeah, I can imagine. I'm here if you ever need to talk about things," Kasey offered.
How did he know? Were they that connected already that Kasey could tell he needed to talk or was it just wishful thinking and Kasey was just saying what would sound polite? Noam closed his eyes. "Do you need to be home?"
"No." Kasey's voice was soft. "Do you want me to come over now?"
"If you aren't too tired." Noam took a deep breath, wondering what the hell he was doing. Inviting him over at two in the morning wasn't smart. He had to be up at six, work by eight, still, the thought of just holding Kasey, talking to him, just taking a few minutes to forget work, forget what he'd seen was too tempting.
"I can be there in ten minutes." Kasey didn't sound upset about the unexpected request.
"Thanks, I'll watch for you."
"See you soon." Kasey hung up.
Noam set his phone down, taking another deep breath. What was happening to him? He had never been a needy person, never unloaded his stress or worries on others. He had gotten used to shouldering things. The relief he felt at Kasey coming over was unnerving. He didn't like depending on anyone, but right now, he needed to just hold Kasey in his arms for a few minutes before they parted ways again.
He pushed up from the bed, running a hand down his shirt as he glanced in the mirror, making sure he didn't look like a lazy bastard in his sweats and t-shirt. It wasn't like Kasey hadn't seen him in them before, but the fact they were what he slept in made it seem a little less appropriate.
Ignoring his nervousness, he went back out into the living room, turning on the porch light before sitting on the couch. Casper jumped up beside him, staring up at him curiously. "You're the best girl, you know that?"
She rested her head against his leg, going quickly to sleep.
He pet her as he watched for Kasey's headlights. When he finally saw them, he got up and went to the door, watching as Kasey climbed out of the car and headed up the front walk.
"Thanks for dropping by." He held the door open, so Kasey could get in, shutting it and locking it once he was inside. "Want a drink?"
"I'd rather a kiss." Kasey turned to him.
"I'd like that too." Noam opened his arms, and as soon as Kasey stepped into them, he kissed him softly. Tension drained off him as he held Kasey's hard body against his own. "I needed this."
"Me too." Kasey brushed a stray strand of hair back from Noam's face. "Must have been a bad night if you asked me over and still have to be up in three or four hours."
"It was. Hell, you'd think I'd be used to it, but sometimes I just wish I worked at some burger place dealing with bitchy customers and could ignore all the bad in the world." He nodded to the couch. "Have a seat. Did you want a drink?"
"I'm good. I'd rather just talk." Kasey sat down, wrapping his arm around Noam the moment he sat down beside him. "What happened?"
Noam blew out a long breath. "I shouldn't talk about it. The department, hell, even the medical response, we're all sworn to secrecy, but I just needed…" He paused, trying to think of what he exactly needed. "I just needed you."
Kasey turned, pulling Noam closer, hugging him. "I'm here. You tell me whatever you need to or can, or you just let me hold you and help you forget whatever it is. I'm here for you."
Noam inhaled Kasey's scent. He smelled freshly showered, his soft t-shirt still holding the scent of fabric softener along with the rich, spicy scent that was uniquely Kasey. He closed his eyes, forgetting everything for a moment and just getting lost in Kasey's arms.
"I'm glad you called me," Kasey whispered. "I was missing you."
"Is it crazy that we've only been seeing each other a few weeks really, and already I'm this needy?" Noam pulled back.
"Not when we've been waiting our whole lives to find each other." Kasey brushed a kiss over his lips. "I learned a long time ago not to question things that feel right. As scared as I am to do whatever we're doing together, there is no denying it feels right. I won't fight that."
"You're scared?" Noam met his gaze.
"Petrified. I don't let people close. I don't trust easily. I don't… Didn't believe in love. You make me believe again, Noam. You make me want things I thought were only in movies or songs."
"What if we don't—"
Kasey put his finger to Noam's lips. "I'm willing to take that chance. Are you?"
It wasn't a question he had to think about. Kasey was right. This felt like it was meant to happen, like they had waited forever to find each other. "Yes."
"Then we aren't going to worry about it. If it's meant to be we'll make it work. We'll have our issues like any couple, but if we want this bad enough, we'll find a way."
Noam nodded. "Okay."
"Okay." Kasey kissed him again.
When Kasey pulled back, Noam smiled. "I didn't ask you over to get all serious about us. Honestly, I just needed a hug. Needed to see you."
"I think we both needed that talk. It helps to know the other person is as lost as you are sometimes." Kasey smiled. "Still want to talk about work?"
Noam shook his head. He didn't want to bring up the images, the violence. "No, not now. This was enough to help. Thank you." He stared at Kasey, not wanting to let him leave. "I have an extra pair of sweats you can borrow, and I think Casper might give up her side of the bed if you maybe want to stay. I have to be up in a few hours, but you can stay as long as you want."
"I'd like that." Kasey smiled. "I'd rather be holding you than be home alone wishing I was."
"You always know what to say." Noam laughed.
"Trust me, before you, I would never have said anything like this." He reached out and cupped Noam's cheek. "Are you okay, honestly?"
"Yeah. We'll talk about it soon, but tonight I just want to forget. I want to act like the world is right and nothing unhappy ever happens. I just want to hold you and forget everything else."
"Then let's get you to bed. The last thing you need is to be a zombie tomorrow." Kasey stood.
Noam got up and sighed. "I have to talk to a family tomorrow and let them know the grandparents were sexually molesting the grandchildren."
Kasey's face paled.
"Sorry, you probably could have gone your whole life without hearing something like that."
"No, it's okay. Trust me. I know what goes on out there. It just surprised me you'd be the one to have to tell them."
"They'll probably know before I get to them, and I'll have counselors with me, but it's up to me to give them the details. It's my job to make a case against them, though there is a pretty good one already built." Noam thought of the file the 'Castrator' left for them with all the images and information they could need. Whoever was doing this was doing the police's job for them. They had yet to lose a case that the 'Castrator' had left them.
"I don't know how you do it," Kasey said softly.
"Some days, neither do I. I just know someone has to do it, and I'd rather it be me than some jerk who doesn't have compassion for the families." Noam linked their hands. "Enough about that tonight. I want to forget about all that and just enjoy having you in my arms." He flipped off the light and led Kasey down the dark hall to the bedroom. Once there, he turned to him. "You're sure you're okay staying?"
Kasey nodded. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."
Noam blew out a relieved breath. Things were happening fast, but like Kasey had said, who were they to fight what felt so right? "Let me get you those sweats. You can use the bathroom there." He pointed to the one connected to his room before grabbing a pair of sweats for him. "Do you need a shirt?"
"No, this is good, thanks." Kasey kissed him softly before going in to change.
Noam sat down on the bed, making sure his alarm was set on his phone before setting it on the nightstand to charge.
Casper jumped up on the bed to lay in her spot.
"Not tonight. You've got to share." Noam pet her.
The bathroom door opened, and Kasey stepped out. It was the first time he'd seen Kasey without a shirt on and the view was better than anything he could have imagined. A thick patch of blond hair covered his chest, trailing thinner down his stomach and underneath the waistband of the pants. His hips were narrow, showing off how fit he was. Noam wanted to run his hands over every inch of bare skin and memorize it.
Kasey ran his hand down his chest. "You're going to make me self-conscious."
"No, you're perfect. You take my breath away." Noam stood, closing the distance between them. "Perfect."
Kasey blushed. "Thanks."
Noam stepped back and lifted his shirt from his body, tossing it to the chair near the wall before pulling Kasey close and bringing them chest to chest. "This is what I need. I want to curl up with you and feel your skin against mine. Feel your heartbeat under my palm." He placed his hand over Kasey's heart.
"Anytime you need it, it's yours." Kasey brushed his lips over Noam's shoulder.
"Then you'd never go home. We'd never go out."
"Sounds like a perfect life to me." Kasey smiled.
"If only." Noam sighed. "As much as I want to stay like this and trace every muscle on your body with my fingertips, I need to get some sleep."
"We'll have other nights to explore." Kasey tugged him to the bed. "Wake me when you get up. I have a meeting at ten. I need to go home and shower before I go." Kasey climbed into the bed, scooting over before holding the covers up for Noam.
After turning off the lamp, Noam eased in beside Kasey, moving closer, until they were only inches apart. "I could get used to this." He brushed a kiss over Kasey's lips.
"Me too." Kasey kissed him again before turning and pressing his back to Noam's chest. "Get some sleep, Noam. We'll have plenty of nights to enjoy this. Tonight, you need your rest."
Noam sighed as he wrapped one arm around Kasey, pressing his hand to his chest. He smiled as Kasey reached up and held his hand in place. "Goodnight, Kase."
"Night, Noam."