Chapter 10—Misconduct

Steph had the best time at dinner. They shared steak bites, a Caesar salad, garlic bread, and a chocolate mousse. Jared had a couple beers, and Steph decided to be daring. She ordered a glass of wine for liquid courage. For once, she wanted to relax and have fun. It helped, of course, that they were just friends, nothing more. No pressure, no expectations. Just the two of them enjoying each other’s company without worries about what might happen afterward.

Jared was funny, attentive, and sweet. They talked about all sorts of things. Steph was surprised how much they had in common. Jared talked about junior hockey and living in a billet home with a great family. Steph talked about singing in the church choir and planting flowers in the front yard of her childhood home. She found out he loved The Sound of Music and Grease, just like her. They both thought cotton candy was the best reason to go to a carnival, and liked roller coasters, even though Steph had only been on one.

The night ended too soon. Before she knew it, they were walking to his car on a windy, rainy night. The weather would’ve been ominous if it hadn’t been for the warmth of Jared’s smile. He reached for her hand as they walked the four blocks to where he’d parked. She should’ve pulled away, but she didn’t want to. She was wrapped in a warm cocoon of joy, helped along by the wine.

He caught her quick look and smiled, offering his explanation of why they were holding hands. “This isn’t the best neighborhood.”

“I know.” She leaned into him, and he squeezed her hand. She shouldn’t have done it, but she allowed herself to pretend they were on a real date. She’d felt like she was and couldn’t deny the electricity in the air between them. Surely, he’d noticed it, too. She’d felt lust with Gino, but not this overwhelming feeling of being with the one you were meant to be with. Jared made it easy, and wasn’t that how it was supposed to be?

She’d signed an agreement. She had too far to go to heal. She couldn’t get involved with him.

What was the harm in pretending for a little while longer, especially when her world was so much brighter with him in it?

The ride home went too quickly. They laughed and chatted all the way, and before she knew it, he’d pulled into a paved spot next to the garage near her stairs and out of sight of the main house. Instead of leaving the car in idle, he turned off the engine, but he didn’t get out and neither did she. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want this evening to end.

He shifted in his seat so he was facing her as best as he could with the console between them. He searched her face as if looking for answers. She wasn’t nervous, thanks to the wine.

Something was happening between them. Something wonderful and scary and incredible.

When he reached for her, she met him halfway. Her arms went around his neck, and he cupped her face in his hands, holding her as if she were as delicate as one of Agnes’s china teacups.

“Steph. You are so beautiful.”

She parted her lips to respond, but his face was so close to hers, and she wanted him closer. He tilted his head and his mouth closed on hers, careful and gentle. He tasted her with a delicious thoroughness, which caused a throbbing need between her legs. She’d never been kissed with such sweet deliberation and reverence.

She ran her fingers through his hair, reveling in the silky texture sliding through her fingers. Steph moaned as he continued his sweet exploration. She was burning up from the inside out, spinning slowly into an abyss of pleasure. He finally ended his slow torture and claimed her mouth with his, slow and insistent, yet almost tentative, as if he were waiting for permission to continue. She slid her tongue along his lower lip, and he groaned. His hands moved from her face and he wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t care that the console was jabbing into her stomach. Nothing mattered but him.

She opened her mouth, welcoming him in, and he accepted her invitation. His tongue explored as slowly and languidly as his lips had earlier. Could a person come from a kiss? She didn’t know. She had very little experience with a man who was interested in her pleasure as much as his.

Their kisses grew hotter and deeper until she couldn’t get enough of him. He slid his hands under her shirt, and they were warm on her skin. She closed her eyes, immersed in sensations and greedy for more. She wanted him to touch her.

When he hesitated, she urged him on, breaking the kiss long enough to utter words of encouragement. She ran her own hands down his back and under his T-shirt, along his spine.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re killing me,” he whispered in her ear, and rubbed his stubbled face across her cheek. He was killing her. Jared cupped her breasts through her bra, squeezed carefully, and ran a thumb over each tight nipple.

“Kiss me there,” she begged. “Please.”

He looked in her eyes, as if to make sure she was asking what he thought she was asking. Pushing her back against the passenger door, he unbuttoned her blouse and reached behind to unhook her bra with one flick of his fingers. He moved it upward and out of his way. Then he gazed down at her in the dim glare of the overhead outside garage lights.

“You’re fucking beautiful.”

She felt beautiful. Not cheap or used but cherished and cared for. He bent his head and ran his tongue over one nipple. Her breath hitched, and she dug her fingers into his scalp and arched her back. He circled the nipple with his tongue, while rubbing the other between his thumb and forefinger. When he took her in his mouth, she cried out, and he froze.

Finally he looked up, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, better than okay. Please don’t stop.”

He lowered his head and went back to work, alternating between sucking and licking first one nipple then the other. She wanted to give him as much pleasure as he was giving her. Shyly, she touched his belt.

“It’s okay. You can touch me there.” He took her hand and guided it to the large bulge in his pants. She gasped as she felt the size of him. “I like you touching me,” he said.

Suddenly, he stiffened. At first Steph didn’t understand what was going on. Then she heard it. Riley was calling for Otto. Oh, no, he couldn’t catch them like this. She put her hands on Jared’s chest and pushed. He immediately sat back in his seat, looking a little dazed and a lot horny. Steph pulled down her shirt, not bothering with the bra.

“I—I need to go.” She gripped the handle on the car door but didn’t bail out yet. She had to make sure Riley had gone back in the house. They sat quietly for several minutes, the only sound their rapid breathing.

“He’s gone,” she said.

“Steph, I—I—I don’t know what to say. That shouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s okay. I wanted it too.” She’d needed to know what it felt like to be kissed by a kind, compassionate man, instead of one who believed everything was all about him, and she’d found it. Jared was better than anything she’d ever imagined.

“I liked it. A lot.” He didn’t look at her but stared straight ahead.

“Jared, this can’t happen again.”

“I know.” He didn’t sound any happier than she felt.

“I signed an agreement. The sisters trust me. I’ve broken that trust.”

“I know.” The agony in his voice came through loud and clear, as if he blamed himself. She’d been a more-than-willing participant.

Just friends?

What a crock. They were more.

She’d fallen hard and fast for him, and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to pick herself up.

“He’s gone. I need to get inside.” She opened the door, not waiting for a response, and got out. He was at her side in a flash. Together they walked up the stairs leading to her small apartment.

“I’ll check inside for you. I know how you are about that.”

Steph reached the top of the stairs and stopped dead in her tracks. Jared ran into her back and grabbed her waist to steady her.

“Are you okay?”

Steph didn’t respond. Her feet were rooted to the top step. She stared at an envelope stuck in the doorframe and whispered, “No.”

“Steph, what is it?” He was so close to her ear that she could feel his warm breath.

“I’m not sure.” She forced herself to take that last step onto the landing. Jared was with her. Nothing bad would happen. The note was probably from Izzy or Riley or even Vi. Steph reached for it with a trembling hand and shakily ripped it open. Jared gazed over her shoulder. His hands rested lightly on her hips, not penning her in, but offering support.

She unfolded the single sheet of notebook paper and read the familiar scrawl.

“No.” She whimpered, poised like a deer who’d seen a predator in the woods, ready to run. But where? She couldn’t run. She was home, the one place she felt safe, the one place that’d been her haven until now.

“Steph?”

She didn’t answer him, nor did she stop him when he gently took the paper from her hands and read what was written on it.

 

* * * *

 

Jared’s blood ran colder than ice on a hockey rink as he read the letter.

Beautiful,

I can’t forget you. You are mine. I’ll make you see that.

Soon we’ll be together again.

Steph stuck the key in the door, taking three attempts before she turned the deadbolt. He followed her inside, shut the door behind them, and locked it.

“This is from him, isn’t it? Your ex.” He spoke calmly, with no emotion, in an attempt to keep her cool and rational. He could tell she was on the edge.

“I thought he was in jail.” Like a robot, she walked to her small kitchen and poured a glass of water from a pitcher in the fridge, keeping her back to him. Her lack of an answer was his answer. He wanted to kill the fucker. Even better, torture the hell out of him. She didn’t need his anger right now. She needed his support. He had to dig deep to hold his anger at bay, but he could do it for her.

“Has this been happening a lot?”

“Not until—until lately. He left me alone for months.” Her voice was tiny, as if she’d been robbed of all her strength by one piece of paper.

“We need to go to the police.”

Her shoulders sagged in defeat, and she sighed. “I have. They won’t do anything. I already have a restraining order. I can’t prove he’s the one who wrote that or has done any—”

“What else has he done?” Jared crossed the small room. One small section of his brain registered how incredibly neat and orderly it was compared to his messy apartment.

“A few things.” She hiccupped, and her thin shoulders shook. She was going to lose it.

Jared placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him, pulling her into his arms for a hug. Instead of resisting, she clung to him as if he were a lifeguard saving her from drowning. She buried her face in his leather jacket and held on. Heart-wrenching sobs shook her body, as if she’d been holding the fear and hurt in for a long time and was finally letting it go.

Jared held her. The need to protect her overwhelmed him with a fierceness he’d never experienced. He murmured words of comfort, knowing what he said didn’t matter as much as the tone and his presence.

Things had changed tonight. Even if they both claimed what happened couldn’t happen again, he knew they had something special. He’d been slowly coming to that conclusion. Tonight sealed the deal. They’d crossed a threshold, and he didn’t think being friends would ever be enough.

He wanted so much more.

He wanted to always be there for her, to be the guy she leaned on, to be the one she counted on. Fuck, he wanted to be her superhero.

Warm tears seeped through his shirt onto his chest. He didn’t care. He was too busy being thrilled that she’d turned to him when she’d needed someone.

His gaze wandered to the paper abandoned on the counter, and he stiffened, his anger threatening to surface again. What kind of an asshole got his rocks off on scaring sweet, harmless Stephanie? He had to do something. He had to take action. He would protect her.

Then it came to him. Drew’s buddy, the karate instructor and former Special Forces soldier, found people. He could find this asshole for Jared, and perhaps he could watch Steph when Jared was on road trips. And then what? What would Jared do? Beat the shit out of him, get thrown in jail, and lose his career—not to mention he’d be no good to Steph if he was behind bars.

Steph’s death grip on him loosened. Her hands went to his shoulders, and she gazed up at him through tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I lose it. I’m being ridiculous. Gino won’t come after me. He’s not that stupid.”

Jared wasn’t convinced. “Tell me about the other times.” He listened as she managed to give him a rundown of other incidents, feelings of being watched, and her talk with Bella.

“Did you do what Bella asked and tell anyone?”

“Not yet,” she admitted somewhat sheepishly.

Her lips parted, and his eyes were drawn to those luscious pink lips. This was not the time to be thinking the things he was thinking. He chastised himself for going there. She needed him and his level head, not his horny dick.

“Jared, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, but you are going to tell our friends.” His voice was gruff and low.

“I will.”

“We fly out tomorrow to Boston for a three-day road trip. This is crappy timing.”

“You should go home, get some sleep. I’ll be okay.”

“I could stay here.” The thought of leaving her alone tonight didn’t sit well with him. He glanced around, only seeing one big room with a bed behind a Japanese screen. Fuck. He wasn’t sure he was strong enough to sleep in the same room as her and sleep with her.

“There’s only this room and this bed.”

“You could go to my place.” He said the last few words without enthusiasm when he realized what a pigsty it was and how it would appear in her eyes. He was a hockey player making millions and lived in a dump.

She must have picked up on something in his voice. “I’m okay. Really. Coop is next door, and I have a security system tied into their main system. I’ll be fine.”

Jared hesitated. A superhero didn’t leave his heroine to the wolves. Deserting her in her time of need seemed wrong, but if he stayed—

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive.” She stood on tiptoes and laid a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Okay.” He reluctantly headed to the door and turned. “Lock this door after me and turn on the alarm as soon as I shut it.”

“I will.”

“Text me if anything scares you. And call Coop; he can get here faster.”

“I’ll be fine. This isn’t the first time he’s threatened me. And nothing happened those other times. He doesn’t want to go to jail. He just gets off on frightening me.”

Not the first time?

“Honestly, he’s harmless.” She’d obviously read Jared’s mind.

“He wasn’t harmless when you were with him.” Jared frowned, not believing her for a second. She was a shitty liar. While he wasn’t the best at reading liars—case in point, his ex—he could read her like a short story. He hated leaving her alone, but she did have a security system and Coop was next door. He’d hate to tangle with Coop himself. The guy was formidable on the ice and had earned the right to be team captain. His glower alone sent rookies cowering in the corner of the locker room. Jared would talk to Coop on the plane and make sure he knew about the latest incidents. Coop would tell Izzy, and she’d hover like a mother hen.

“Jared, I appreciate your concern, but I’ve managed on my own for months now. I’ll be all right.”

“Let’s call the police.”

“We talked about that. I’ve tried, and they can’t do much. This message sounds pretty benign unless you read between the lines.”

“Didn’t you say you had a protection order? This violates it.”

She sighed, as if she’d been through this very problem a hundred times before. “I can’t prove he wrote it.”

“But he did.” He watched her face, knowing she knew very well who wrote the seemingly innocuous note with thinly veiled threats.

“Yes, I’m sure he did.” She rubbed her eyes wearily. “I’m tired. Can we discuss this another time?”

He couldn’t resist the plea in those blue eyes. Against his better judgment, he agreed.

Steph walked to the door and opened it. “Good night, Jared.”

Dragging his feet, he walked out the door and stood at the doorjamb. He pulled her to him and hugged her hard. She melted against him and almost destroyed his resolve to behave. He set her back at arm’s length.

“Good night.” Jared brushed his lips across hers and stood back. He didn’t want to leave.

“Good night. Thank you for being here when I needed you.” She gave him a little push and shut the door. He waited until he heard the deadbolt turn.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he said, even though she couldn’t hear him.

With a sigh, he walked down the stairs. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

 

* * * *

 

Steph tossed and turned all night. Not just because of Gino, but also because she couldn’t get Jared out of her mind. Memories of their make-out session kept her warm all night and gave her a safe feeling, even though memories couldn’t do much to save her. Knowing someone was concerned about her well-being made her feel so much better.

Jared had texted her as soon as he’d gotten home. The next morning, as she was walking with Otto to the sisters, he texted her again.

Will you go to my next home game?

Her fickle heart soared.

Yes. As friends.

About the friends thing. We need to talk when I get back.

They did, but she was grateful she had a week to think this through.

She was falling in love with him. It’d been the easiest thing to do. She’d been half in love with him before she’d met him. He’d been her fantasy hero, and now he was her real hero.

Steph met Izzy and Vi for lunch that next day and told them about the Gino incidents. Just as she’d dreaded, they were upset and wanted to go rogue on Gino, along with smothering her to keep her safe. Despite their overprotectiveness, she felt better for having told them. It was nice to have people in her corner. She’d been alone for so long that she’d forgotten how good it was to have friends who cared.

On Thursday night, she watched the game against Boston with Izzy and some of the WAGs at Coop’s house. This subgroup of WAGs consisted of Izzy’s sisters Bella and Avery, Vi, and Amelia. The more pretentious WAGs hung out in a different group. Those were the girls more like Jared’s ex, who were into appearances and the fame of being a pro athlete’s girlfriend. Steph preferred the down-to-earth WAGs.

The Sockeyes led one to zero at the end of the first period. Izzy filled their wineglasses during intermission. Steph stared at her untouched one and opted for water instead.

“You don’t drink?” Bella asked. Her eyes were bright from the two glasses she’d already consumed.

“Not really,” Steph replied. “I had a strict upbringing. My father pounded into our heads that alcohol was a sin. I guess some childhood teachings never leave us.” She squirmed under Bella’s bold scrutiny.

“There’s a story there, and someday you’ll tell me.”

“If you’re thinking my father was abusive, he wasn’t. He was strict and ruled the house, and he could make us cower with just one look, but he loved us.” Steph had been a good girl until she met Gino. Her parents, strict as they were, had gotten complacent, assuming she’d never sneak out or defy their rules, which made it easy to do just that.

She’d hated lying to her mother and father, but she was completely under Gino’s spell. Telling them she was pregnant was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Gino and her father almost came to fisticuffs, and Steph had to usher Gino from the house. They’d lived in the basement of a friend’s home at first. Gino managed to scrape together enough from his on-again, off-again construction job to rent a trailer in a neighboring town. And so had begun her life of sin. If only she’d known then how far she’d go for the man she thought she loved.

She wouldn’t put herself in that position again. She’d never be in a relationship with a man who didn’t have a career and source of income. She’d also never depend solely on a man’s income. If she’d learned anything, it was to be independent and stand on her own two feet and not wait for a man to tell her what to do.

Despite the other stuff going on in her life, she missed Jared. He wouldn’t return until early Monday morning, but she’d spoken with him multiple times in just the few days he’d been gone, and they’d texted often. Gino hadn’t contacted her since the note. As innocent as it had sounded, she knew it was anything but. Short, sweet, and to the point.

Forget the sweet part, more like sour.

That was all it’d said. Nothing the authorities would find alarming and no way to prove he’d left it on her doorstep, violating the no-contact order.

She glanced up to find Bella and Vi watching her. They exchanged knowing glances but said nothing. Steph focused her attention on the TV as the second period started. Jared skated onto the ice and took his position, waiting for the puck to drop. The action started in the usual frenzy as Coop smacked the puck to Cedric, who passed it to Drew. The talented young forward was caught off guard and missed the pass. The Boston defenseman snatched the puck and sped down the ice.

“What’s wrong with him?” Bella said disgustedly. She didn’t have much tolerance for fools or lazy asses. “He’s been playing like shit lately.”

“I have no idea, but his stats are way down, and he seems lethargic.” Izzy sipped her wine, not taking her eyes off the screen. She didn’t reveal any other facts, but as the captain’s wife and a huge hockey fan, she certainly knew more than she was letting on.

“Is it girl trouble?” Vi wondered out loud.

“He doesn’t date. At least not that any of the guys knows about,” Avery said.

“Is he gay? In the closet?” Bella said.

“I don’t think that’s it. Something else is going on.” Izzy leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I heard his dad chew his ass a few months ago after Drew played an incredible game and got a hat trick. His father didn’t give him any credit for doing anything right. I wonder if the constant criticism is getting to him?”

“I saw his dad grab him by the collar after a game and get in his face. I actually thought he was going to hit him,” Bella added.

“Maybe he’s tired of it all?” Steph said. “Maybe he just wants to be told he’s doing okay by the person who matters the most.”

All heads turned to Steph, who rarely said much in group situations. The women nodded their agreement, but not without slanting knowing looks at Steph. She snapped her mouth shut and vowed not to reveal any more hints at her own past. Vi knew some, and Izzy knew about the stripping, but no one knew everything—except Steph and Gino.

She didn’t know how long Gino would keep her secret. What would her new friends do once they knew the truth? If she were the confident type, she’d be certain she could get past all this. She wasn’t.

And Jared. What if he found out? Would he still be her friend, assuming they could maintain a friendship after what happened a few nights ago?

We need to talk about the friends thing.

His text worried her. She was so torn between being an ethical employee and succumbing to her heart. She wanted more, but she was a rule follower. The sisters trusted her. They’d been good to her. Even if she managed to get past the issues with her job, she couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in Jared’s eyes if or when he found out she wasn’t the sweet, innocent churchgoing girl he’d thought she was.

She couldn’t tell him.

Even if telling him was the right thing to do.

As selfish as it was, she wanted to keep him around for as long as she could. Steph had never been selfish before, but she was doing so now.

Just for a little while, couldn’t she have something good in her life?