Chapter 7

Stone

 

We finally arrived at Lacky’s apartment in Syracuse. It was almost one o’clock in the afternoon. The kids were tired, and I hadn’t closed my eyes for one moment. I was drenched from the rain and Lacky was…well he was pissed. I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t know if I could trust him.

“Why aren’t you telling me what’s going on?” he asked.

“Let me put the kids down. Where should I put them?” I asked glancing around the apartment.

“In my bedroom. The sheets are clean. No one’s been in there.” I glared at him suspiciously.

I grabbed Daniel and Alyssa and placed them both on the bed. Alyssa placed her pointer and middle finger in her mouth and sucked on it. Daniel turned to me.

“Daddy, where’s momma?” he asked.

“I’m going to get her, don’t worry. Take a nap. We’re going to McDonalds later.”

“No, you’re going to your PO, now, before you get into trouble. Go, take my car. I’ll watch them.”

“Why didn’t you say something while we were in the car? Instead we came all the way here and brought the kids in.” I asked him.

“It’s not a big deal, just go.” He replied.

“No, you and the kids come with me.” I said sternly.

“You don’t trust me?” he asked sarcastically.

“I don’t trust anyone with my kids.” I turned my back on him.

“You were just going to leave them with two junkies!” He shouted at me.

“That’s different. I could kill them both and not bat an eyelash if something happened to the kids, but I can’t kill you.” I stared at him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he approached me.

I needed to ask him. I was going to explode.

“What’s going on between you and Maddie?” I questioned him standing in front of him face to face.

“What?” he asked.

“You heard me? Did you touch her? Did you hurt her?” I grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against the wall, “Did you?”

“Are you crazy? No…No I never touched or wanted to touch her,” he grabbed my hands and I released my grip from his shirt, “What’s wrong with you Stone?” he fixed his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I need to get her, Lacky. I need to get her…now.”

“You need to see your probation officer before they lock your ass up.”

He grabbed Alyssa and the baby bag. I picked up Daniel, and he flinched. I must’ve hurt his arm by the angle I lifted him up in.

“Ouch, daddy.” He pouted.

“I’m sorry buddy.” I kissed his cheek. Alyssa reached out for me.

“DaDa, daddy.” She said.

I smiled so hard my face almost cracked. I grabbed her immediately with my other free arm. I held them both and held them tight.

“Let’s go Stone, now.”

I followed Lacky. I was a hot mess, and I knew this asshole would ask me why I was drenched and I looked as if I hadn’t slept in days. We drove to his office and Lacky stayed downstairs with the kids. I was dreading walking into his office. I hated this guy with a passion. I knocked softly, and he opened the door.

“Good afternoon, sir.” I said softly.

“Oh, Shelton. Have a seat,” he pointed towards the chair in front of his desk, “You look like shit. Are you okay?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” I said. I barely gave him eye contact.

“Are you working?” he said as he typed on the computer.

“Yeah, at a moving company.” I rolled my eyes.

“Legit?” he asked staring at me.

“Yes, sir.” I replied sarcastically.

“I have another form I need to fill out about your family situation. Are you married, any kids?” he asked as he checked off each question as he went along.

“No sir.” The arrogance in my voice was evident.

“No?” he questioned.

“No.” I said sternly.

“So, whose kids are those that you always have attached to your hip. Are you borrowing them from someone?” he glanced up at me and our eyes locked, “Well?”

“They’re my brother and sister. Our mother died.” I said angrily.

“Oh, I see. Are you taking care of them?” he sat back in his chair.

“Yes.” I placed my elbows on my knees and ran my fingers through my hair. This guy was giving me a headache.

“How?” he asked.

“What do you mean how?” I barked.

“You know, who watches them while you work?” he placed the tip of the pencil in his mouth as he observed me carefully.

“My sister, Maddie.” I said staring directly into his eyes.

“I see. Okay. Well, do you have guardianship of them?” he stood up walking over towards me.

“What the fuck is this? Twenty questions?” I stood up in front of him.

“Excuse me?” he barked as he stood tall in front of me.

“You heard me, I have to check in once a week and that’s it. Leave my kids out of this and my sister.” I demanded.

“Your kids?” he turned and walked away from me and sat back in his chair.

“Look, just don’t mention them again, okay?” I sat back down in the chair.

“Let me explain something to you, Mr. Shelton. I have to ask questions. I need to know what’s going on in your life. I’m not prying. I want to help.”

I lowered my head and looked towards the floor. He’s a lying sack of shit.

“Fine. Can I go now? They’re waiting for me.” I glanced up at him.

“Sure. Just bring the guardianship papers next week.” He walked me to the door.

“Yeah…sure.” I answered as I walked out of the room.

I walked out of the office in a panic. Maddie had those guardianship papers in the apartment. I couldn’t go back there. But, I was going to have to. I needed to get those papers or they’re going to take the kids. I approached the car, and no one was in it. My heart started pounding. I glanced around frantically and saw Lacky walking with Alyssa and Daniel. She was walking on her own! My baby girl was walking on her own! Daniel ran up to me.

“Look daddy, lyssa is walking! She’s walking like a binosaur, daddy!” He giggled.

“Yes! Yes! She is…you mean a Di-no-saur, not bi-no-saur.” I laughed, and he hugged me tightly.

“Yes that, binosaur!” He shouted.

“Come to daddy, Alyssa.” I said.

She swayed to and fro like a little Frankenstein, trying to hold her own, balancing her chubby little legs. I grabbed her and kissed her forehead. “Momma will be so happy, so happy Alyssa!” I shouted.

I thought of Maddie and I almost died. The only good thing in my life ever, was Maddie and the kids. I need to find her…now.

We drove to McDonald’s and picked up lunch for the kids. Lacky still seemed pissed. We sat in the parking lot as the kids ate.

I was struggling with telling Lacky the truth, but I was out of options, I needed help. I had no one else to turn to, no one; he was my last chance to find Maddie.

“Look, bro, I’m sorry. The truth is…Maddie’s in trouble. Andrew kidnapped Daniel and broke his arm. He said in order for me to get Daniel back I had to give up Maddie. He beat her…bad and now he took her away and I need to find her.” I whispered looking into the back of the car at the kids.

“How the fuck did you not tell me about this?” he yelled.

“You’re a cop,” I said as my eyebrows furrowed, “Lower your voice.”

“So?” he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

“I’m going to kill him.” I whispered.

“Jesus Christ Stone, no you’re not!” He grabbed my forearm.

“Yes…I am,” I yanked his hand off of me, “Andrew is Sly’s brother.”

I stepped out of the car to get some air. Lacky followed.

“What?” he had a steady gaze on mine then suddenly lowered his eyes to the ground.

“He found out Maddie killed him. It’s a long story with her internship and how she was chosen to work for him, but she owes him. It’s bad, bro. I don’t know where to start to find her.” I clenched my hands together tightly, the white of my knuckles defining the pain in my heart.

“Leave it up to me. We’ll get her tonight.” He said reassuringly.

“No cops. He’ll kill her.” I placed my hand on his chest to stop him from walking around into the car.

“He wouldn’t dare.” He said softly.

“He killed Clarissa.” He slid my hand off of his chest.

“What? Are you shitting me?” he stared at me stunned.

“I’m not…this dude is fucking crazy, man. I’m telling you. I need to kill him and kill him fast.”

“Stop talking like that. We need to think.” He said.

I glanced over at Lacky. I took a deep breath. I needed to ask him. It was killing me inside.

“Did you ever have anything with Maddie?”

“She’s a fucking kid, psycho…why do you keep asking me that?”

“I don’t know…I’m just…”

“Jealous?”

“No…”

“Yeah, you are. What the fuck is going on?”

I placed my head between my hands. My only thoughts were of Maddie. I looked up at him.

“I love her…I fucking love her.” I whispered as my lips trembled.

“But…she’s your sister?” Lacky’s face grew pale as if I had plunged a knife into his heart.

“We don’t know that for sure. I’ve loved her since the day I met her. I love these kids. I can’t live without her. I’m going to kill that motherfucker…tonight.”

The determination in my voice stirred his emotions. The look on his face said it all; I questioned his feelings for Maddie even more.

“Take it easy, kid. Get your head straight.” He whispered.

“I have to go back to the apartment and get the guardianship papers Andrew’s lawyer drew up.”

“What about what happened with Clarissa?”

“If someone saw me, they would’ve found me or arrested me already, right?”

“I guess…let me go inside and get it. It won’t look suspicious.”

“Okay, let’s go now, so we can work on getting Maddie back to me.”

We drove to the apartment as the kids took a nap in the back of the car. This must be so confusing for them. How can I explain to them that mommy’s not around? Will they even understand? We parked in the lot. My stomach shuddered just thinking about Clarissa’s cold, blue body lying on the floor, lifeless…empty. I shook my head without noticing that Lacky was staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“Clarissa. I…I can’t believe she’s dead.” I whispered.

I glanced over at Lacky who seemed to be contemplating his next move.

“Look, who would’ve known this maniac would take things to this level,” he said softly, “I’ll be right back. Where’s the paper work?” he asked.

“In the top dresser drawer in the bedroom.”

“Give me the keys. I’ll just grab everything and bring it to you.”

“Okay.”

Lacky got out of the car, perusing the lot just like a cop. I watched him enter the building. I glanced over at the kids in the back, and Daniel was holding Alyssa’s hand as she leaned her head against his shoulder. It made me think of the time Maddie fell asleep with Bryan in her arms one night when I came home late from school. Bryan was lying on her chest and her arms were wrapped around him tightly. He was a newborn. Ana had had him two weeks before. Now it was back to business. She was banging some guy in her bedroom. I could hear her moaning in pleasure as he slammed into her. “Yeah, baby just like that, make me come!” I heard him shout. It made my stomach turn. I grabbed Bryan from Maddie’s embrace and she woke up frantically.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“I was going to give you a break.”

“I don’t need your help. Why don’t you go and screw Lizbeth’s brains out some more and leave us alone?” she said sarcastically.

“What? Why are you acting like this?”

“You don’t care about us anymore.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. Just go away Tiny. Leave us alone.”

“Maddie, stop.”

“No, you stop. I’m with Bryan day and night, as soon as I come from school; I do homework with him on my lap every night. I cook, wash the dishes and wash your clothes while you’re out there fucking that slut!”

“She’s not a slut!”

“Yes, she is. You’re a fool! She’s playing you like a fiddle! You’re a dumbass!”

“Shut up, Maddie!”

“Whatever! Leave me the fuck alone!”

“You act like an old lady Maddie!”

“I have a baby Tiny, a baby that I have to take care of because my junkie whore mother is too busy fucking men for drugs! I’m thirteen years old Tiny! Thirteen! I hate my life, but I love Bryan and I thought you did, too!”

“I do…I…I’m sorry, Maddie.”

“No…leave me alone!”

“Hey! What the fuck is going on out here?” Ana said strolling out of the room half naked.

“Go get Madison and stay in your room Tiny. I’m doing business over here.”

“Maddie’s tired Ana, she needs a break.”

“Go to your room boy and take your sister and that crying baby with you.”

“Come on Maddie, We’ll put Bryan to sleep.” I said as Maddie wiped her tears with her hand.

“He’s crying. He’s never going to sleep now.”

“Go…go lie down. I’ll feed him and put him to sleep,” I told her. She glanced up at me and started to walk away, I grabbed her by the arm gently, “I’m sorry Maddie, I love Bryan.”

“Just leave me alone…please.”

She kept walking towards the bedroom and heard the guy in Ana’s room yell out Ana’s name as he came. Maddie closed her eyes and shook her head. The tears falling relentlessly against her cheeks. I felt like shit. I held Bryan, walked over to the kitchen and made him a bottle. He placed his tiny head against my shoulder and grabbed my t-shirt with his little fingers. That was the moment I fell in love with him. I spent the rest of the night on the chair in our bedroom watching Maddie sleep and holding on to Bryan, staring at him and singing to him. I walked over to the bed and placed Bryan in between us, grabbing Maddie’s hand holding it felt so right. She opened her eyes sleepily and I started to hum, hush little baby. Maddie’s tears fell from her eyes again, her chest heaving in and out as she gasped for air. Bryan stared at her, his little eyes trying to adjust to the dim light of the room. She squeezed my hand gently.

“Hush little baby don’t say a word, momma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.” She whispered.

“If that mocking bird don’t sing, daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.” I sang softly.

We sang to Bryan as his little eyes closed and his tiny lips pursed up into a grin. The love I felt for both of them that day was overwhelming. It brought tears to my eyes, but I didn’t let Maddie see me cry. She cried all night long. I held her hand and didn’t let her go.

 

I lowered my head remembering how much I hurt Maddie that night. I glanced over at Daniel. He looked so much like Bryan. The tears welled in my eyes. I thought of Bryan and I felt sick. Picturing his tiny body lying lifeless on the hospital bed, his little casket being lowered into the ground. God, it hurts so bad…

I was startled when Lacky opened the door to the car.

“Here I got everything I could. I even got the kids some clothes.”

“Thanks man. How does it look up there?”

“Everything was quiet. No one has even entered your apartment.” He looked back to check the kids.

“You better take a look at the papers. Make sure they’re in there,” he turned the ignition and started driving back to his apartment, “I need to make some phone calls so we can find Maddie. I’ll need some privacy when we get to my apartment so just stay in the bedroom with the kids.”

“Yeah, sure no problem.” I agreed.

I scanned through the envelopes trying to find the guardianship papers. I found a manila envelope with the word ‘guardianship’ written across it in black marker, “Found it,” I opened it up and the guardianship papers were in my hand, “Thank God.” I whispered.

I kept looking through the array of papers Lacky had thrown in the shopping bag. I came across an envelope that was sealed that read To: Maddie, from Ana. It was sealed. It seems as if Maddie didn’t even know this letter was in this pile of papers. I know I shouldn’t have opened it, but it could’ve been important. There were two letters and four documents of some sort inside. I pulled out the first letter and started reading.

Dear Madison,

I know you think I’m a bad mom, but by the time you read this letter, I’ll be dead. I deserved to die, you know. I was a lousy daughter, a lousy friend, a lousy wife and a horrible mother. I was a junkie. I couldn’t help that. My mother turned me on to drugs when I was younger than you, ten to be exact. She didn’t teach me anything. I learned everything lying flat on my back and spreading my legs for drugs. I just wanted to tell you that all of the kid’s birth certificates are in this envelope too. You’ll find out who Bryan, Daniel and Alyssa’s father are…and yours. I know you raised your brother’s and sister. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been a better mother to you, but my life sucked since the day I was born. I was meant to be nothing, and that’s what I was until the day I died. You were the only shining light in my life Madison. Believe it or not. I loved you. Only you because I loved your father. I was married to him for a little while. I think I’m still married to him. We broke up three years later in April 1991. I remember, I was pregnant. I went to live with my mother. I hid the pregnancy until I gave birth. She took the baby away from me. I don’t know what happened after that. I never saw the baby again. I can’t even tell you if you have a brother or sister out there somewhere. Then, I met up with your father again in December 1994. It was the best night of my life and nine months later you were born. He never got to meet you until he came back into our life for your sixteenth birthday. Wasn’t that a treat? He helped us so much. I hope he continues to help you Madison. I hope he loves and protects you like a father should.

As for Tiny, he’s been the only man in your life that you could ever count on. He seemed like a good kid…until he did what he did. I didn’t know Lucky was going to hurt you Madison. I would have killed him myself. I know when Tiny gets out; he’ll be there for you. He always has. Anyway, the birth certificates are here in case you need them. I’m sorry, Madison. For everything.

Love, Ana

I was so hurt. I browsed through the birth certificates in the envelope and came across a marriage certificate. I glanced at the certificate. My eyes blinking out of control as if I were seeing things.

 

Anastasia Marie Stone and Mickey Joseph Shelton

Married: January 24, 1989

 

My father? They were married. No fucking way. I cleared my throat. Lacky glanced over at me.

 

I pulled out the first birth certificate from the envelope.

 

Bryan Stone Williams

Mother: Anastasia Marie Stone

Father: Anthony Williams

 

Daniel Stone Santini

Mother: Anastasia Marie Stone

Father: Alfredo Marco Santini

Alyssa Stone

Mother: Anastasia Marie Stone

Father: Unknown

 

Madison Stone Shelton

Mother: Anastasia Marie Stone

Father: Mickey Joseph Shelton

 

The last birth certificate fell out of my hands. All I saw were the words written as if I was reading a sign from a horror movie, the words written in my own blood. The fury that burned inside of me was enough to make me pass out. I placed my hand on my stomach. I felt the churning in my stomach, the double cheeseburger rising back up into my throat. Not my father…no, not my father. Lacky drove up to his apartment building, then parked in the front.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, let me grab the kids.” I picked up Alyssa and shook Daniel gently to wake him up.

“We’re here buddy.” He smiled as he stretched his one arm above his head and yawned.

We walked towards the apartment building and Lacky grabbed Alyssa from my arms.

“You look like you saw you a ghost Stone. What is it?” he asked frantically.

“Nothing bro. Nothing.” I lied.

Lacky opened the apartment door. He placed Alyssa on the ground and she started to walk like Frankenstein again. I smiled even though my heart was broken into a million pieces.

“Do you mind if I take a rest?” I asked.

“Not at all, if you don’t mind I’ll start searching for Maddie?” he glanced over at the kids. Daniel was running around in circles and Alyssa was tipping over as she held on to the couch.

“Yeah…sure. Come on kids, let’s go to the bedroom. You can play with your happy meal toys.”

“Toys…toys…yay...yay!” Daniel shouted.

They followed me into the room and played with their toys on the rug on the floor. I stared at them for a moment. I knew they had different fathers, but Maddie and I shared the same doped up loser. If Ana is my mother, I can never be with Maddie. I sat on the bed continuing to browse through the paperwork Lacky brought from the apartment. The letter, the birth certificates, the marriage license and an unmarked envelope. I was afraid to open it; I didn’t know what terrible news was nestled inside of it. I leaned back on my elbows on the bed. I thought about how much Maddie has suffered her entire life. I needed to make her happy. She deserves a better life. She doesn’t deserve to be with me. I leaned over on my side and held her birth certificate in my hands. The tears flooded my eyes. I gasped for air knowing how much I loved her and if we shared the same mother and father, we could never be together. For some reason, it just seemed worse knowing that my father was her father, too. I just needed to know if Ana was my mother.

“Hey.” Lacky opened the door to the bedroom. A police officer was standing behind him.

“What’s up?” I asked nervously. I looked at Daniel who was staring at the police officer.

“Joseph Shelton?”

“Yeah.”

The police officer came into the room and I saw the cuffs in his hands.

“What’s going on?”

“You have the right to remain silent…”

“Please, don’t cuff me in front of my kids. I’ll walk out with you. Lacky…stay with them. Promise me you’ll take care of them.” Lacky nodded his head.

“Let’s go son.” The officer said.

“Daddy!” Daniel shouted, “Please don’t take my daddy,” he cried, “I’ll be good Daddy, I promise…I’ll be good,” he grabbed on to my legs and started crying, “Please daddy, I’ll be a good boy.”

“Daniel, you did nothing wrong. Daddy is just going to talk to the police officer. See, I don’t have the cuffs on.”

“Will you come back? Momma didn’t. Please daddy, come back.”

“I’ll be back tonight. Don’t forget. You have to take care of Alyssa. She needs you.” He ran back into the room.

The officer placed his hand on my shoulder, then Daniel came out of the room holding Alyssa’s hand as she struggled to walk.

“Like this daddy? Daddy, like this?” he asked.

I kneeled down in front of him, “Yes, just like that champ,” I hugged them both and Daniel stared into my eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you, daddy.” He said.

Alyssa kissed my nose.

“How much?”

“This much Daddy!” He lifted up his arm and struggled to lift the arm in the cast.

Lacky scooped up Daniel and the officer grabbed me by the arm. Alyssa followed me as she held on to the couch.

“I got them Stone!” Lacky shouted, “I promise.

We walked towards the elevators.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re being arrested for the murder of Clarissa Del Valle.”

“I didn’t kill her.”

“That’s what they all say.”