Stone Lockhart is one talented bastard. We’re sitting in the studio going over my album and the songs we want to feature and the ones we want to save for the next or cut all together. It’s been four hours and we’ve danced around the topic of Addy and her job as my babysitter the whole time. If he asks, I’m not sure what I’ll say. “Yeah, it’s going great. Oh, and the sex is fuckin’ amazin’. But I don’t want anythin’ serious so I’m doin’ my damnedest to make her hate me because that’s what I’m good at.” Maybe I should. Hell, he might kill me. That would make things a bit easier. He breaks through my thoughts

“So tell me about this song, bro,” Stone says through a haze of cigarette smoke, strumming absently at a banged up old guitar sitting on his lap.

“Which one? There are twenty of them.” I snort out a laugh.

“Ahhhh, so you wanna play it that way.” Chuckling, he snubs out the cigarette and starts playing something, his fingers moving over the strings in practiced ease. Confidence just oozing off the man. That’s when I recognize the song he’s playing. “Can’t Love you.” The song that Addy wanted to put out as my first single with Hard Candy. The song I won’t be singing anywhere for anyone.

Stone stops playing and leans back in his chair waiting me out. “You like it? You can have it. I’m sure you can make it a little more rock and roll than country.” I shrug.

“Be careful. My beautiful woman did that once. Wrote a song about us when we were going through some shit, sold it to another artist. She still regrets it.”

“I won’t regret it.” I stand to pack up my guitar, suddenly done with this whole conversation. “I don’t care what you do with it. It’s not goin’ on the album though. I don’t know how it even got on the demo. I’ve only played it a handful of times tryin’ to get it right.”

“Sit down, Cowboy,” Stone says waving me back to my seat, chuckling. “Clearly this is a raw nerve. I get it. We’ll shelve it for now. Come back to it when it doesn’t hurt quite so bad.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

Stone grins and walks over to the piano. “Let’s figure out what song you do want to let fly then. We want to launch something right after the awards show, hopefully get everything wrapped up before I head back to Canada with my girls.”

“Do you miss it? Being on tour all the time?”

He snorts, “Hell no. We did that shit for a few years and it took its toll on us. Mostly me, but I love being involved in this side of the business. I mean, we still tour, but not insane schedules like we did with the other label. I get staying relevant and keeping costs down and all that shit, but it’ll burn you out, man.”

I nod in agreement. “My last tour was eight months and it was nonstop. I think I slept for a week when I finally got home.”

“Yeah, bro. We won’t do that to you. Once we get all the details on this album hammered out, you and Addy can sit down with Jimmy and get your tour worked out. Addy handles all of that. She’s amazing at what she does.”

I feel like he’s baiting me. Like he’s asking me, “Did you really fuck my friend and walk out before your belt was even buckled?” The tone of his voice, the opening he just gave me to agree with him and tell him how awesome she is. He has no idea just how amazing I think Addy Mae is and in how many ways I’ve been amazed by her.

“Sounds good. I’m actually meeting with her and Jimmy after this.”

“To talk over the radio music awards, right?”

“Yeah, that and I think we have some charity thing coming up too.” I’m betting money that Addy isn’t coming to lunch today let alone attending anything with me. I can’t blame her.

“How’s that working out? I haven’t been able to read the report that Addy sent to everyone the other day. Don’t you dare fucking tell her that shit though. She looks like a petunia but she can be a pit bull when it comes to business.”

I laugh, knowing he’s right. “She doesn’t come out half steppin’.” She’s all in with everything she does.

“No. No, she doesn’t.”

Shaking my head I can only smile. She can be vicious but she can also be unsure of herself. Of how people see her. Her place in this business and with her friends. That’s a side of her that I’ve been able to see. To help soothe. She doesn’t let that mask slip often, but when she does, I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her she’s better than she knows. At everything. And then I fuck it all up.

“I think so far it’s been good. She’s lined up some really awesome things, a few interviews that I’ve done over the last couple of weeks on top of the charity stuff. She really does keep my ass out of trouble, so yeah, I’d say it’s working.” Chatting with him so casually about all of this while knowing how I left the last time I saw her makes me feel like a piece of shit.

“Good. I knew you guys would be a good fit. It helps that she’s not dating that douche bag Calvin anymore. He would have never let her spend so much time with you.”

“Oh yeah? Jealous guy?” My interest is piqued. She’s never really mentioned her ex. Only that she did what she does and got attached and that he didn’t. I didn’t push because I didn’t want her to ask about Jenny.

“I’m a jealous guy. He was just a fucking punk. Always telling her what to do but in a way that it made it seem like it was her idea, ya know? And stringing her along while he went out and did whatever. I have no clue what she ever saw in him. We all hated his ass.”

“Where’s this Calvin, prick now?” I’m close to seeing red knowing that some dick treated Addy that way. What right did I have after the way I’ve treated her though? Plus, she isn’t mine. There’s a little voice in my head laughing at me right now at that. She may not be mine for the long haul, but she’s mine for now. Or she was.

“No clue. They broke up and I haven’t heard her mention his name since. Matter of fact, don’t you tell her I said anything. She’ll be pissed, and I need her to babysit next week so I can take Willow out for her birthday,” Stone says, pointing a finger at me in warning.

“I won’t.” The bile churns in my stomach as I think about him confiding in me like this. I know good god damn well that he wouldn’t if he only knew.

“All right. Enough gossiping like a bunch of old ladies, let’s get this shit worked out so that we can get out of here.”

Pulling my guitar back out, I join him over by the piano, Addy on my mind now more than the music I ought to be thinking about.

* * *

I’m caught out front of the restaurant signing some autographs and taking pictures when the manager comes out to rescue me.

“How’d you know I was out here?”

“I overheard a table talking about it so figured I better save you.” The man smiles and waves the fans away politely. “Your table is waiting.” He holds open the heavy door and welcomes me to Moonshine. The place I first met Addy.

Leading me back to the table, my heart pounds loudly enough to be heard in three counties when I see that Addy is already sitting, a drink in her hand.

“Hey,” I say softly. Testing the waters. “Where’s Jimmy?” I’m glad he’s not at the table, it gives me a minute to let her lay into me if she’s gonna. As well as appreciate how fine she looks today. Her long hair is down in pretty waves, a fitted denim shirt rolled up to her elbows and tucked into a lacy pink skirt tight enough for me to bet she’s not wearing anything underneath it. The thought of bending her over this table and hiking that skirt up around her waist has me going hard right here in the middle of the damn restaurant. Chances of that happening here or anywhere else are slim to none.

“He’s on his way. Called a little while ago. There was an accident or somethin’ that slowed him down,” Addy says, in a detached tone.

Once we’re both seated, the waiter comes over to get my drink order before flitting away excitedly.

“Well, you just have everybody in an uproar today, don’t you?” Her tone dry, she looks at me and her eyes are completely flat. I need to see some fire. I know she’s pissed, know I hurt her, and that I might not deserve anything more than what she’s dishing out right now. But I want it.

“It might be you. You look good enough to eat, Sugar.” She pays absolutely no mind to what I’ve just said. Doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

My drink makes it to the table in record time, the bus boy and our server asking for autographs and if they can take pictures with us. Addy politely declines, offering instead to take the picture for them.

“I feel like there might have been a tip off that we were going to be here today. I can usually fly under the radar, but it seems like everywhere I go today I’ve been stopped.”

“It might have something to do with the fact that people know you’re in town now, especially after the interviews and concert. They may be looking for you,” she offers, taking a sip from her copper mug. She’s not quick enough to hide the hurt I catch on her face though.

“Could be.” I shift in my seat, waiting ‘til she looks at me. “I’ve been meaning to call you,” I begin lamely. Apparently she thinks so too because she rolls her eyes. “I have. I’ve just had a lot on my mind the past few days.” Equally as lame, even to my own ears.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ve been busy setting up some tour dates for some clients, yours included.” Her tone is strictly business, ignoring my attempt to talk about what happened to us. She’s always such a contradiction. Most women never want to stop talking about their feelings.

Frustrated, I lean forward, crossing my arms on the table. “Are we gonna talk about what happened?”

“Nothing to talk about.” She doesn’t even look up when she says it, just continues to peruse the menu when I know damn well she knows the thing front and back. Fine. Perfect.

“You know what? You’re right. This thing we were doing wasn’t real anyway.” I sit back, trying to get the smell of her out of my space. So that I can think. “It’s all pretend, Addy. This, me and you, isn't real. Just your job, right?” I bite out. I know the words will hurt her. Make her mad. Hope for it even.

She reels back in her chair, the pain flashing across her face. It's quickly replaced with disgust. “Ahhh, I get it. You got what you wanted the other night, and now it's a little too real for you. Had to leave before I went ahead and fell for your bullshit and got attached.” She taps a long painted fingernail on the table. “Well, Beau, you promised me that you wouldn’t let me get attached and you didn’t. But that’s because you were never free. You knew that competing with a ghost was impossible. So you win,” Addy says quietly.

I shrug off her comment, not letting her see how close to home she is. Not about the ghost thing because she was never in competition with Jenny, but about everything feeling too real. About me getting in too deep. I force my lips into a smirk. “Pussy is pussy, Addy girl. If I didn't get it from you, I would've just got it from someone else,” I say snidely. Each word a physical blow to both of us.

“Fuck you, Beau,” Addy hisses, unable to say more when we hear Jimmy’s voice. He’s walking our way looking more frazzled that I’ve ever seen him.

“So sorry I’m late, y’all.” He waves Addy away when she goes to stand. I’m not sure if he realizes that she was standing to leave and not to be hospitable. He instead bends to peck her cheek which I decide I don’t like, which I also decide is completely fucking ridiculous since I’ve just blown up any connection we had.

“We just sat down a minute ago ourselves,” I answer. “Well, I would have been here sooner, but I got caught up outside by some people looking for autographs and some pictures.” The last thing I want to do is have to sit here and make small talk, but I also don’t want to sit in awkward silence and give Jimmy time to figure out I’ve just trashed Addy.

“That’s probably because of this,” he says, tossing a copy of Exposé Magazine on the table, Addy and I on the front page looking downright cozy.

“Well, that didn’t take long, did it?” My amused tone doesn’t match the pinched look on Addy’s face. The picture on the cover is one of she and I while we were shopping for my mama. Her up against a wall, holding on to me as I lean into her.

“They’ve got a whole spread of the two of you,” Jimmy says, signaling for the waiter.

“Do I dare look at the inside?” Addy asks Jimmy, bitterness dripping off of every syllable. If Jimmy notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“You knew this was gonna happen, Sugar. I’m not sure why you’re actin’ like they’ve just posted naked pictures of you or somethin’. This is the whole reason behind all of the shit you guys got me doin’,” I bite out, a little pissed off. Why is it such a bad thing to be on the cover of some damn gossip magazine with me? She embarrassed? I take a swig of my beer and lean back in my chair, my ire getting the best of me. “We can find someone else for me to run around town with if you don’t want to be seen with me. I’m sure we can round up plenty of willing women. Wouldn’t want you to get caught slummin’ it, Addy Mae.”

Her face goes from pinched to pissed in two seconds flat. “You can do whatever you please, but that’s not what I was sayin’ at all and you know it. Don’t put words in my mouth, Beau.” Her voice is pitched low so as not to attract attention from the other diners, but it carries enough heat to let me know she is just as mad as I am, just for a different reason.

“What am I allowed to put in your mouth then, Addy? Just so we’re clear.”

Jimmy cuts in, “That’s enough, Beau. What the hell has gotten into you?”

I watch her as I tip my bottle back again, not answering him. I wanted fire, I got it.

Addy stands and tosses a file onto the table, training her attention on Jimmy. “There’s the information you needed. I’ll talk to you later in the week.”

Without another word or glance in my direction she strides out of the restaurant, the heels of her nude high heels clicking away like a hammer tapping nails into a coffin. How the fuck did this turn bad so quick?

“What in the hell was that?” Jimmy demands in a harsh tone.

“Fuck.” I scrub a hand down my face, instantly feeling remorse and like the biggest fucking hypocrite. “I’m pretty sure that was ego with a little bit of fear and some panic thrown in. But I can’t be certain.”