Ghost

 

 

Once we made our decision and told Sniper he was on the phone with his informant. Plans are made for a meeting with this douche canoe who is willing to sell his daughter. I mean he is basically selling her, he’s giving her away for a damn truce, so he can get his way and move up the ladder once we take care of his problem for him. I feel like we’re no better than the sex traffickers that we’re trying to shut down, here we are taking a woman as a trade for services. I feel sick to my stomach even thinking this way.

 

What kind of monsters are we becoming? I look over at Justice who’s sitting down the bar from me and he looks so fuckin’ lost and upset that even I don’t know what to say to him right now. How do we help him deal with this? He has basically given up his freedom for the club, for me, for Bristol. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him for the sacrifice he’s making. I really hope he and his future bride hit it off and it’s not a life sentence of hell for him. I’d never be able to forgive myself.

 

It’s been decided that they won’t meet and marry until all of this is behind us. In the next year or two my brother will be in an arranged marriage…how fucked up is that? It’s like we’ve been transported back in time to when arranged marriages were the way fathers married their daughters off to the highest bidder. I can’t believe this informant is willing to give his daughter to a man he doesn’t even know.

 

It makes me wonder if this could’ve been Bristol’s fate. Married to a man she didn’t know, didn’t have a chance to fall in love with. I’m just grateful all the dominoes fell in line for her. I mean shit, if we hadn’t had to go after Lil’ bit, I may never have had a chance to know her. She would’ve been someone else’s.

 

I gurandamntee, no one else would’ve loved her the way I do. She is my everything, my world, my love, my soul, and the reason I feel my heart beat every damn day. I feel someone sit beside me at the bar. I look over and see Justice there.

 

“Hey man, got a minute?” he asks me.

 

“Any time, any place brother. Always, what’s up?”

 

“I’m freakin’ the fuck out here man. I never had any intention of settling down, that’s not me. I’m not sure I’ll be any good at it. I mean my old man wasn’t any type of role model. He hated his life, hates his family, hated being tied down. What if I’m like him, what if I don’t treat her like I should? Fuck, I don’t even know her, what if we can’t even be friends?”

 

“I wish I knew what to say here man,” I tell him, “What you’re sacrificing for the club and for my girl…I don’t even have words.” I pick up my beer bottle that I’d been babying and down it in one gulp. How can you say to your best friend, that him sacrificing his future happiness for yours is the best gift anyone’s ever given you? That him possibly being miserable is making a way for my future happiness?

 

“All I can sit here and think about is, how can a father use his daughter as a bargaining chip? A way for him to climb up in the ranks of his organization? What about her happiness? I mean, doesn’t he love his daughter?”

 

“I know how you’re feeling, when we rescued Bristol, her father was ready to swap her to Cordozo for Lil’ bit. He was trading her for a younger daughter, one he could break in. One who wasn’t grown and able to have her own thoughts and opinions. Lord only knows what his plans for Lil’ bit were. And I ask myself all the time, what were Cordozo’s plans for my sweet cheeks?”

 

“Jeez man, I didn’t even think. Maybe Bristol can help this girl out? Fuck, you realize I don’t know this girl’s name, her father’s name or anything about this family? This has my mind all kinds of fucked up,” he says on a sigh.

 

“You don’t have to do this man. It’s not too late to back out ya know. We can put our minds together and figure out another way. A way to where you’re not putting yourself on the line so much. I don’t think I could stomach seeing you miserable forever like that, it’d eat me alive to watch it.”

 

“I think I’m gonna play this one by ear and see what comes of it. We can always be married in name only. I could let her have her life and I have mine. Separately, then always make appearances where we need to. I don’t know, I’m thinking out loud here. I know the club doesn’t stand for cheating on Ol’ ladies, but what if I don’t make her my Ol’ lady, just marry her and keep her as a citizen wife. She’ll still do her thing and not have to worry about me interfering too much.”

 

“If that’s what you really want, I’ll stand by you when you bring it to the table. I got your back however I can. I give you my word.”

 

“When I actually do get to meet her, I’ll talk with her and see where she stands. For all I know, she wants a real marriage. Who knows? I’ll do whatever it takes for this club and you, brother.”

 

Carson brings us both another beer and we sit in silence, both lost in our thoughts.