Chapter Ten
Paige
Erica made another row of checkmarks on her clipboard and smiled over at me. “Thanks again for helping out with this,” she said. “Like I said, I tried to get it all tallied when it came in, but the numbers I came up with didn't match the ones that our suppliers said they had.”
“No problem,” I said, shifting another few crates. I glanced at my watch: nearly three in the morning. But we were almost finished, so I counted that as a win.
“Let's take a quick break,” Erica suggested. “I don't know about you, but my arms are starting to get tired from moving around all these crates of beer. We should have had one of the dudes stay behind and help us as well.”
We both sat down on some stacks of crates, and Erica handed me a water. I popped off the lid and took a long swig from it.
“When I came in this afternoon, you were asleep already, so I haven't had a chance to ask: how did it go with Mr. Millionaire?” Erica asked curiously.
I shrugged, picking at the label on my bottle. “About as well as could be expected,” I said carefully, flashing her a quick grin.
“Which is?” Erica pressed.
“There's not much to say,” I told her. “We met with his attorney, and we got the contracts all signed. I got him to agree to the changes that we'd discussed. And then we met up again last night and had a quick fuck, nothing more.”
“Hmm,” Erica said, mulling it over. “Do you think you're going to see him again?”
“We've already made plans to meet up after work tomorrow,” I told her. “Or today, rather. Well, tomorrow, by the time I'm off work.” I frowned, and Erica laughed. “Working these night shifts gets so confusing sometimes.”
“Luckily, you won't be working them much longer, will you? Now that you've got yourself a sugar daddy.”
I laughed and shook my head. “He's not my sugar daddy,” I protested. “It's a business transaction. Like I said, there's a contract and everything.”
“Sure,” Erica said. “But just remember, a contract isn't going to stop you from loving that baby that you've carried around inside you for nine months.”
“I know,” I sighed. “But that's why we added a new section to the contract. If I find that I'm too attached to the baby when it's born, I'll keep that one, and we'll try again. He'll keep the second child, and I'll have nothing more to do with it.”
Erica frowned. “Are you sure that's going to work?” she asked. “Won't you just feel even more attached to the second baby, knowing what's coming? You'll get to see all these firsts with Baby Number One, and then you'll know you're missing out on them with the second child.”
“Do you even see me as a mother in the first place though?” I protested. “I live off minimum wage. You and I share a ratty apartment in a bad neighborhood because it's all that we, or at least all that I, can afford. I'd make a shitty mother.”
“I'm sure you'd find a way to make ends meet if you had to,” Erica said softly. “Plenty of mothers do it every day.”
“I guess,” I said. “But I'm just not interested. I don't think nine months is going to change that.”
“It might not,” Erica conceded. “But thinking that you don't make enough money and thinking that you wouldn't make a good mother are two very different things, you know. You're a great woman, Paige. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a mother.”
I snorted. “Thanks for the pep talk,” I told her. “Should we get back to the inventory?”
“The thing that I'm concerned about is you and Michael,” Erica said suddenly.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Me and Michael?” I echoed. “What about us?”
Erica paused, looking as though she didn't quite know how to say whatever it was she was thinking. She sighed and shook her head. “I just hope you're careful, that's all,” she said.
I frowned at her. “I think the whole point of this is to not be careful,” I reminded her. “You know, since we're actively trying to get me pregnant.”
“I don't mean, be careful about your contraceptives,” Erica said, rolling her eyes. But I detected a hint of a grin. “Be careful that you're not getting in over your head. I would hate to see you getting attached to this guy, only to have him hurt you in the end.”
I laughed. “I'm not going to get attached to him,” I said. “I appreciate your concern, but I think I've demonstrated how not attached I can get when it comes to relationships with dudes.”
“Have you ever slept with the same person more than once, though?” my friend and manager mused. “It's different, once you've slept with them more than once. It starts to get more intimate. And if you know you're going to keep seeing this guy for the whole time you're pregnant, it could get intense. Nine months is a long time.”
“We're not going to be in a relationship or anything, though,” I told her. “Sure, he might go with me to doctor appointments and things like that, but that's it. Once I'm pregnant, I doubt we'll even go to dinner.”
“Okay,” Erica said, but I could tell that wasn't the end of it. I waited patiently, trying not to get upset. Erica was my best friend, and I knew she was just looking out for me, but her worries were only magnifying my own.
“Do you like him?” Erica asked.
I shrugged. “To be honest, I don't even know him,” I told her. I laughed, trying to clear the tension in the room. “He can't be that great of a guy if he feels like he has to pay someone to want to have a baby with him.”
Erica stared at me for a long moment. Then, she grinned. “So how was the sex, anyway? Worth it?”
“The 2.5 million dollars is worth it,” I said. But I couldn't keep the self-satisfied grin off my face. “Yeah, it was worth it,” I admitted. “And what's more, he said on the phone he didn't plan for me to leave as quickly as I did, and he wanted to do it again.”
“Ooh, a giver,” Erica said. “It's always nice when a guy appreciates the fact that a woman can have multiple orgasms.”
“Isn't it?” I sighed. I shook my head. “He seems like a nice guy. I don't know why he feels like this is the only way that he can have a kid. He must be a terrible snorer or something.”
Erica laughed, but her expression of mirth didn't quite reach her eyes, and I could tell that she was still worried for me. “I just want to make sure you're careful,” she said again.
“I know,” I said. I tried to figure out how to assuage her fears, but I was having a surprisingly hard time with it. Finally, I just shrugged. “For all we know, I'm not even ovulating,” I pointed out. “Or who knows, I've been taking birth control for so long I may not even be fertile anymore.” I ducked my head. “Michael wanted me to get a physical before we started this, and that might have been a good idea. I can't help but feel like we've jumped the gun a little, but he's just so anxious to have a kid already, and with our rent going up, I could use the first half of the money sooner, rather than later.”
Erica grimaced. “Please tell me that you're not doing this because you need extra money to make rent for the month,” she said. “You know I could cover you if that's an issue.”
“It's not just that,” I said defensively. “Although it will be nice to finally not be living hand to mouth.”
“You're probably going to buy some of the stupidest shit, aren't you?” Erica asked, grinning at me.
I laughed. “Oh no,” I said. “I know the value of all of that money. I've never even dreamed of having a million dollars.” I paused. “Of course, we will have to go on at least one stupid shopping spree and treat ourselves. Or maybe a vacation. To Hawaii?”
Erica laughed. “But we'll have to wait until you've popped out the baby and got your beach bod back,” she said.
“It's still so hard to imagine, me pregnant,” I mused. At the look on Erica's face, I hurriedly continued. “It's not a bad thing,” I told her. “I'm not upset about it, and I'm not having regrets. It's just hard to picture. I'm going to have to buy maternity clothes. And there's still that question of how I'm going to tell my parents about all of this.”
“That is going to be tough since you go over there every week,” Erica said. “It's not like you can hide it from them, but you probably don't want to tell them, hey, they're going to be grandparents only they're never going to get to see their grandchild.”
“I guess I'll have to tell them that I'm putting it up for adoption,” I said. “And I'll have to pretend like I don't know Michael, or that he was just another one-night stand.”
“Are you sure that you want to go through with all of this?” Erica asked. She held up both hands to forestall my protests. “I know it's your body and your decision, but lying to your parents doesn't seem like something you would normally do.”
“It's not,” I said, running a hand through my hair. It seemed like every time I thought about it, there were more reasons that this was a crazy idea. But I still couldn't seem to say no.
“How are you going to explain to them where you got all this money from, that's the other thing,” Erica said. She winced. “Sorry, I don't mean to be such a downer. I am happy for you if this is what you want to do. I just want to make sure this really is what you want to do.”
“I know,” I said. “And I appreciate that. I do need someone to talk to about all of this. But for all we know, it's already done. I could already be pregnant.”
I thought back to the previous night. I had come so hard, my vision whiting out. Feeling Michael spill inside me, knowing exactly what we were trying to do, that had been an intimate feeling like nothing else.
But afterward, as I came down from my high, I'd started to feel nervous. This wasn't supposed to feel intimate. I wasn't supposed to feel anything for Michael. For all he cared, I was just a vessel for his baby. An oven, basically.
That's why I'd had to leave so quickly. I didn't think I could lie there and let him spoon me and not want something more. I knew that Erica was right in reminding me to be careful. But even if I was interested in Michael, there was no way someone as handsome and smart as him (not to mention someone as rich as him) would ever be interested in someone like me. I had to figure that as long as I went into our relationship knowing that, there wouldn't be any problems. I wouldn't let myself get too attached.
“Well, I'll be there for you with the ice cream,” Erica said. “Whether or not you get pregnant, and whether or not you get your heart broken. It'll just be pistachio-flavored if you're pregnant, and cookie dough flavored if you get your heart broken.”
I raised my water towards her in an ironic salute. “Thanks for always being a great friend,” I told her. “I'm going to need that.” Then, I got to my feet. “Let's get this inventory shit done so we can go home. Right now, I need my bed more than I need you!”
Erica laughed and grabbed the clipboard so we could get back into it.