I slurp another mouthful from my cup of noodles and cringe. After eating Vanessa’s cooking, these cheap noodles taste like flakes of burnt rubber floating in salt water. This, is why you shouldn’t get used to the finer things in life, because eventually it all comes to an end. It’s a lot harder to go back to discount bins and coupons when you’ve been living all your champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

The same goes for women.

Just as my head gets muddled with thoughts of Vanessa, the door opens and she walks into the house like a zombie. She’s gotta be exhausted, the way she’s moving makes me feel sore and I’ve been sitting around the house all day.

“Hey,” she gives me an uncertain smile that I don’t return. “Don’t eat that Gabe, let me make you something,” she offers.

“I’m good. Besides it’s not your job to cook for me,” my voice is like a steel rod, cold and hard.

“I know it’s not my job,” she frowns a little and looks into my eyes, but I’ve already put up my defences. Around my heart is a cage of barbed wire. I refuse to act like a fool, running around with my heart on my sleeve for a woman that’s ashamed of me.

“Speaking of jobs,” my words slice through the air as I lean back on the kitchen counter and level her with my glare. “What’s the plan here, Vanessa? Am I supposed to sit around your house now while you go to work? It doesn’t seem like you need me if that’s the case.”

“No, I don’t think so,” she rubs her hands over her temples and looks down, “listen I know you’re upset about what happened this morning, but it’s not like I kicked you off the set, why are you mad at me?” She tilts her head and searches my face, but I’m made of stone. I don’t move a muscle or give anything away with my expression.

“You didn’t go out of your way to try to keep me there though did you? It was my understanding that I was hired on to be a bodyguard, not a house-sitter,” I force the bitter words from my mouth.

“What was I supposed to do? Argue with the director? Get fired because of Axle? Come on, give me a break here,” she seems to be wilting as she pleads her case, her exhaustion spreading over her face in weary lines.

“Because of Axle? No. He didn’t do anything other than try to protect you. Erik is the problem here, not my dog,” I puff up indignantly.

“Ok, yeah, you’re right. My bad. It is definitely Erik’s fault. Listen, it’s been a long day, can we just agree he’s a piece of shit and move on already?” She crosses the floor with her hands upturned, trying to cuddle up to me but I don’t slide my arms around her. I don’t breathe in the soft scent of her hair or run my thumb over her jaw. I don’t move at all.

“I saw you on TV,” I can feel her body stiffen and she steps back. “You were on TMZ today,” my voice is low and emotionless.

“Oh, you saw that,” she looks up at me nervously.

“I didn’t realize I embarrassed you,” I stare her down and she knows exactly what I’m talking about. Red rushes over her cheeks as she looks down to the kitchen floor.

“You don’t embarrass me, that’s ridiculous,” she frowns.

“Really? So why is it when those stupid shows say that you and Erik are back together you don’t respond but when they ask about me you deny it? Maybe it’s because people thinking you’re Erik’s fuck toy makes you more popular in Hollywood? Or maybe it’s because of these,” I wave my hand over the side of my face covered in scars. “Probably both,” I know I’m being an asshole, but I want her to hurt like she hurt me.

“How can you say that? You know I hate him!” She meets my eyes and I can see anger flash behind them.

“Then why did you say that?”

“Because I’m trying to protect you!” She tries to hold my hands but I cross my arms.

Her words are a slap in the face. Protect me?

“Well, if you think I’m so fucking fragile that I need your protection then I don’t think I’ve done a very good job here. You should probably find someone else to be your bodyguard, or sit in your trailer or look after your house, or whatever the fuck this stupid job really is. I’m done.”

“Gabe!”

I storm out of the kitchen and don’t turn back when she calls me. It only takes a few seconds to stuff my belongings back in my duffle bags. I throw them over my shoulders and whistle to Axle who is immediately at my side.

“Where are you going? This is stupid. I didn’t mean protect you like that. Come on, just talk to me,” she follows me to the door as I put my shoes on.

“I know exactly what you meant. I’m not some frail little flower that you need to keep in a glass dome, Vanessa. And I’m not buying that you were looking out for my feelings anyway because if you really gave a shit about my feelings you wouldn’t have pretended that I’m no one to you. But then again, maybe you were on to something there,” I open the door and look back at her. I refuse to let the tears slowly sliding over her cheeks affect me. I’m done with the melodrama, I’m done with this whole thing.

“Gabe, please come inside and talk to me! You’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion,” she cries.

Am I? Because it seems to me she’s perfectly happy to have me as her behind the scenes love interest, but the second it’s brought out into the light, just like my scars, the ugly truth comes out.

She’s ashamed of me.

“You take care of yourself,” I walk down the path to her driveway and jump in my Jeep. My eyes only flicker to Vanessa for a second. She’s backlit by the lights in the house as she stands in her doorway watching me leave. For a second I feel my anger slip away into sadness, but I push it back down. I throw it in reverse and turn my head to look behind me as I back out onto the road. I don’t look in the rearview mirror as I drive away. There’s no point in looking behind.

Instead I take a few deep breaths and grab my cell out of my pocket. I need to get out of here and forget all of this. I swipe my thumb across the screen and hit call. It rings in my ear a couple of times but he picks up.

“Hey Ryan? I’m glad you answered. Listen bud, forget about slumming it at my place while you’re here. There’s been a slight change of plans, okay?”

“Sure Gabe, what’s up?” I can hear air rushing over his phone as he talks to me, he must be outside.

“Make sure you get a good night’s sleep and you get good and hydrated ‘cause you and I, we’re going to Vegas.”