“Don’t question my love for you and Lucy,” Cole says, and it comes out angry, like a threat.

Love? I think. When did that come into the picture?

I have to protect myself, and my daughter. Now he tosses the word out like it’s nothing, and maybe to him it is.

But he’s never really said he loves me, never really made me feel safe. I’m constantly wondering when he’ll take off again.

After this disgusting fake documentary, I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust Cole Frost.

“Cole, I can only go by your actions,” I say. “Lately you’ve been more cold than hot. I know you’ve been through so much with your father and the stress of the lawyers and the farm—I get that, I really do. But it’s more than that. You speak of love but how am I to know how you really feel—about me. I know you care for Lucy. I know you love her. But where am I in all this?”

Cole rakes his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. But I am too. I deserve to know what is happening here.

Cole storms over to the laptop, unplugs it and brings it back to me. He pulls up something, and turns the computer to show me.

“This is where you are,” he says, pointing to the screen. “You and Lucy, with me—here.”

I look at the image. It’s a home—a big home. It’s spacious, clean, everything new and top-of-the-line. Fully furnished with a decent backyard complete with jungle gym and pool.

“Cole, what is…”

“It’s our home,” he says. “I’ve taken care of everything. You won’t have to worry about a thing. It’s eight thousand square feet, fully decorated, top-notch appliances, countertops, floors, bedding, you name it. It’s a palace for you and Lucy. We’ll enroll Lucy in private school—you have to think about her future. Miss Culbert will understand, I’m sure,” he says, trying to smile and sound enthused despite the conflict we’re having. “Lucy will make excellent friends here. I know you didn’t care for the city life, but this is right outside the city, in the suburbs so we can have the best of both worlds.”

“The best of what worlds?” I ask. I’m rattled. What is happening? He’s been setting up a home for us this entire time?

“The city and the country,” he says. “You're a country girl, I’m a city boy. Jessa, that’s why God invented the suburbs! You don’t have to live in a high rise, but you can still have your green space and quiet streets for Lucy to ride her bike and play with the other kids. And I checked, there are other kids Lucy’s age right in this neighborhood. She can grow up with them, be best friends. Have a life.”

“Cole, this is all…this is a lot to take in,” I say. I’m trying to wrap my brain around all this, but it’s feeling like it’s too much too fast. And I wasn’t included in any of it.

“Is it, though?” he says. “I asked you to come with me last time and you said no. This time we have a family, and we also have a home. Jessa, there’s no reason for you to say no to me this time.”

“Cole…I can’t just pick up and move,” I say. “My sister and my parents are here. I don’t know if I can move away from them.”

“What about me? Aren’t I important enough? You just said that you and Lucy were my family.”

“I-I know,” I stammer. “You are. And I want us to be a family. I just…”

“Just what?” he says. The look in his eyes is not hurt, or love or concern. It’s anger. He’s mad at me.

This is not how I imagined things going. Of course I’ve imagined a life in which Cole and I lived together as a family, raising Lucy. Happily ever after. But this anger in him is something different and I don’t know where it’s coming from.

“I’m just being honest, okay, Cole?” I say. “I don’t know if I can leave Morningside Valley. It’s my—”

“Home, yeah, I got it,” he says. “Heard it before. So where does that leave me? I can’t run my business from this little town. It’s ridiculous. You think I can have clients and designers and potential partners out here for a serious meeting?”

“Why not?” I say, angry at what he’s suggesting.

“Look around! There’s nothing here!”

I sigh, letting out all my tension because he still doesn’t get it. “I’m here. Lucy’s here.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not staying here. Do the right thing, Jessa. For our family. Move with me to this beautiful house I’ve set up for you.”

“I never asked for that,” I say.

He folds his arms again. Looks down at me. “I get it now. It’s me. This whole time it’s been me. I’m the thing that’s not worth leaving for.”

“Cole, that’s not at all what I’m saying.” My voice is shaking, and tears are forming in my eyes. How did this spin out like this? When I got dressed in this skirt and blouse I pictured the day and evening going so much differently. I hoped to go up to his room, make love, feel happy and safe. Now Cole is saying I don’t want him?

“Like you said, I can only go by your actions,” he says, throwing my own words back at me. “Just know that I’ll always be in Lucy’s life. But I’m not going to beg you to go away with me anymore. You already shot me down three years ago, I think I’ve gotten the message this time.”

“Cole, what are you saying?” I ask. Tears are now flowing down my cheeks.

He slaps the laptop shut and gathers up his phone and keys from the side table.

“You’ve said it all, Jessa,” he says. “I’ll text about when to next see Lucy. Or I’ll have someone contact you.”

With that he leaves the room. I’m completely stunned. Have someone contact me? He can’t even bear to send me a text about our daughter?

I drive home in a complete haze. When I get there, Lucy is already in bed and I try to fill Avery in on everything, starting with that ridiculous documentary.

“Please, that thing,” she snarks. “I saw him buying beer at the A&P, cameras in tow, and I thought, you probably have all your food shipped in from France or something. No way would he eat our lowly food.”

“Avery, can you just…listen? Can I tell you what happened without you making a bad remark about Cole?”

She snorts. “That’ll take great strength.”

I look at her—my own sister, who I ran races with in the fields, borrowed dresses from and talked about our futures over bowls of popcorn and steaming mugs of cocoa. I take her hand and say, “I need you right now. And Cole is Lucy’s father. Whether he and I are together are not, that is a fact that will never change. So enough with the smack talking.”

She squeezes my hand back. “You’re right. I’m sorry, sis. I just don’t want to see you hurt again, that’s all.”

“Well, here I am. Hurt. Now help me sort through the pieces.”

So I tell it all to her, everything. She tells me it wasn’t cool of him to offer some ultimatum. “It’s too controlling,” she says. “Like, why won’t he budge on this?”

“Why won’t I?” I counter. “I’m the one who refuses to move.”

“Because you have family here,” she says.

“But isn’t my family with him more important?” I ask.

Avery slowly shakes her head. “Honestly? I have no idea.”

By the next day, word has spread through town that Peak Expedition, the film crew, and even Cole himself have all left town.

He didn’t say goodbye. T

hat feels like a final blow. He can’t even face me.

I wonder if I deserve it.