CHAPTER 22
By the time Julian got to his home in Malibu, he knew he’d pretty much blown his chance to have everything he’d always wanted in his life.
Maybe at one time, he’d been so driven that he’d never stopped long enough to realize what he really needed.
Xander had tried to tell him.
Julian hadn’t been willing to listen.
What he’d told Kristin was completely true. On the day he’d lost his parents, he’d changed. Maybe that’s how different experiences affected people’s lives, but he wasn’t the same guy he’d been several years ago. He’d grown up and looked around. And he hadn’t much liked what he saw.
He flopped on the couch and turned on the television just to hear some noise, realizing he really didn’t like having sole control of the remote. He’d rather be arguing with Kristin over what to watch.
Jesus! I’m getting completely maudlin.
He had the big prerelease party the next evening, and then he was going home. Funny how Amesport had become the place he most wanted to be in the world.
He flipped through the channels with a beer in his hand, already having changed into a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt.
He settled on a sports channel and picked up his cell phone for about the hundredth time since he’d gotten to California a few hours ago.
Nobody called. No text messages.
Forcing himself not to give in to the urge to slam the damn device against the wall, he dropped it back on the end table beside the sofa, pissed at himself for looking to see if Kristin had somehow tried to contact him.
Maybe I shouldn’t have given her the ultimatum. What if it was too soon?
No. He couldn’t regret it. It was time for him to cut the shit and find out if Kristin was going to be his wife, or if she wanted out. Not knowing was too damn painful, and if she wanted him the way he needed her, she’d sure as hell know by now.
He’d known for a long time exactly what he wanted. Like he’d told Kristin, he’d been in love with her almost from the beginning. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Maybe he hadn’t been able to put an actual name to his emotions back then, but he had known what he wanted. And he wasn’t about to let that kind of feeling go easily.
His gut ached from wondering what she was thinking right now.
Would she go?
Would she stay?
She’d looked like she’d been taken aback by his confession. He didn’t know why. Surely she could have guessed how he felt.
Taking the rings and their marriage information had been done out of just plain fear. He’d been worried she’d try to end everything immediately, and he’d already been committed to his last film. Yeah, he’d been a selfish prick. But he’d been a terrified selfish prick. Did that make a difference?
He heard his text ping go off near his head, and he quickly reached back and grabbed his phone.
Kristin: I hope you got to California safely.
Okay, it wasn’t a profession of undying love, but it was something. He typed a message back.
Julian: I’m good. I’m at my house here in Malibu. Nothing good on TV.
He waited for her to respond. She did.
Kristin: I know. I’m about to hit the bed.
Julian immediately wondered which bed and whose home, but he said he’d give her until he got back. He wasn’t going to pressure her. There was a three-hour time difference between California and Maine, so it was late for Kristin since he knew she had to work the next day.
Julian: Are you pissed because I was honest with you?
He had to know, even though part of him didn’t want her to tell him.
Kristin: No. I’m glad. I think we need to work this out quickly for both of our sakes.
And that answer told him absolutely fucking nothing.
Julian: I should have told you from the very beginning.
It was the only thing he regretted about his relationship with Kristin.
Kristin: I know now. We can finally resolve this. There are things I could have said, too, but I didn’t.
Damn! Things were starting to sound less and less promising for him.
Julian: Night, Scarlet. Sleep well. See you Friday.
It was a casual statement, but he really meant he hoped to hell she hadn’t moved back to her own apartment and he would see her when he got home.
Kristin: Don’t let your head get too big while you’re being adored in Hollywood. Good night, Hotshot.
He dropped the phone back on the end table, pissed because he hadn’t been able to get anything more from her except a polite conversation.
He knew Kristin.
He knew she was feeling something.
Nobody cared like she did, but she obviously didn’t want to share anything with him until he returned.
Frustrated, he knew two days was going to seem like a hell of a long wait.
The next night, Kristin was glued to the television along with Mara, Tessa, Emily, Sarah, Randi, and Hope. They’d decided it was ladies’ night, and Mara had kicked Jared out of the house to spend some time with his brothers and Micah so she could have the whole gang of females over to watch Julian’s interview on TV.
The interview was live, mostly to talk about his upcoming movie for publicity.
“I still can’t believe I’m actually related to him,” Hope confessed from her position on one of the living-room chairs.
“I’m only related by marriage, but I’ll claim that connection,” Mara said excitedly.
“Me too.”
“And me.”
“Ditto.”
“Yep.”
All of the women agreed that being related in any way to Julian Sinclair was pretty extraordinary. Kristin wanted to be related by marriage, too. But her desires were slightly different. She wanted to stay married to him, but realistically, she wasn’t sure that was possible.
She had to admit that Julian did look pretty hot, and totally comfortable in a pair of jeans and a button-down blue shirt that matched his eyes. His demeanor was calm as he answered the male interviewer’s questions about his upcoming movie. And he was a master at politely evading anything that involved his personal life.
Funny how other people looked at Julian as the superstar actor he was when all she could see was the guy who had made her happier than she’d ever been in her life. She didn’t see the same persona as most people did when they watched him on TV.
She saw . . . Julian Sinclair, the funny, sometimes obnoxious, highly intelligent man who just happened to—bonus!—be sinfully attractive as well.
“I don’t think I’d want Grady to be that famous,” Emily declared as the TV interview ended. “I’d have to fight off women with a baseball bat.”
Mara snorted. “Like our husbands aren’t already well known? There aren’t many people who don’t know the Sinclair family.”
“Sometimes I forget that Dante is a billionaire Sinclair,” Sarah said quietly.
“Evan never lets me forget,” Randi grumbled good-naturedly. “I’m pretty sure he buys me something outrageous almost every day.”
Tessa spoke up. “But we all know the men underneath all that money.”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” Kristin confessed. “I know Julian is plenty of women’s idea of the perfect guy. But those women have never had to deal with his stubbornness or seen him try to cook.” Glumly, she acknowledged that he had his quirks, but those things aside, he was pretty damn perfect.
All of the women laughed, and Mara went to refill glasses with a nice white wine as she flipped off the television.
“Is he that bad in real life?” Emily asked Kristin. “You two always look so happy.”
Mara shot Kristin an encouraging look as she filled her glass.
Kristin nodded. Nobody really knew the truth about her relationship with Julian, unless the man himself had decided to share with his brothers or cousins. “Our relationship is kind of . . . crazy. We sort of got married by accident when we were in Vegas for Tessa’s wedding. We were both drunk. When we found out, we decided to give our marriage a trial run.”
“Nobody gets married by accident,” Emily replied suspiciously. “Even if you were drunk, I don’t think you’d do it unless it was what you truly wanted.”
Kristin thought about Julian’s confession that he basically remembered them getting married. He’d been aware enough to know he wouldn’t have married anyone except her. “That’s what Julian said. I can’t remember.”
Kristin filled in all the details that the women asked as Mara reseated herself in a living-room chair. Once everyone had asked their questions, the room was silent for a moment.
Finally, Mara spoke. “So what are you going to do?”
“I love him,” Kristin confided. “He gave me the choice of whether or not I wanted to make this marriage real without any restrictions. He even offered to make sure I was financially set up for life. But I don’t want his money. I want him. But I have to be realistic. Sooner or later, he’s probably going to miss his life in California. I’m not sure what to do right now.” She let out an audible sigh.
The women all gave her a sympathetic look as they talked about her options. Even with everything laid out on the table and her choices clear, Kristin wanted Julian to be happy with her choice. She couldn’t move permanently, because her parents would still need her. She was their only child. What would happen if Julian woke up one day and figured out that he missed his old life, that he wanted his adoring fans and movie contracts? Kristin would be nothing except the one person who was keeping him in Amesport. She never wanted him to resent her that way, and she didn’t want to hold him back from a career he’d busted his ass to establish.
The women were silent for a few moments after they discussed her choices, until one of them, thankfully, changed the subject.
“Beatrice was right again,” Emily said in a solemn voice. “That’s five out of five on the Sinclairs. Hope doesn’t count because Beatrice never had a chance to make her match.”
Hope chuckled. “I think I did a pretty good job on my own. Jason was meant for me long before either one of us knew it.”
“I heard she gave Xander a chain with an Apache tear,” Tessa shared. “Micah told me. She drove out to his house. I’m surprised he answered the door.”
“Who has the other stone? Who is he going to love?” Kristin asked cautiously.
Tessa shrugged. “Nobody knows.”
Kristin found it hard to imagine any woman would want to take Xander on like he was now. It was going to have to be somebody pretty damn special. Although she did hurt for Julian’s little brother; he was a train wreck.
After catching up on other news in town, Kristin finally stood. “I’d better go. I have to work tomorrow and my boss is a slave driver,” she teased.
Sarah, her boss, looked over at her and smirked. “You notice I’m still here. I might just be late myself.”
Kristin’s lips formed a genuine smile. Sarah was the smartest, most organized physician she’d ever worked with. If her boss was one minute late, she’d be worried. “I’ll cover for you,” Kristin said with a laugh as she put on her coat, knowing Sarah would be in front of her first patient by nine o’clock sharp.
Shivering as she started up the SUV, she knew she could very easily spend the night at her apartment here in town and save herself the drive out to Julian’s house tonight and again in the morning when she went to work. But for some reason, her heart balked at the idea of not going home, even though she hadn’t yet decided where she’d be when Julian returned.
Home.
It was the house where she’d learned how incredibly happy she could be with a husband she loved. It was a place where she could see her things combined with Julian’s, and his bed was a location where she could fall asleep faintly inhaling his scent.
What if he changes his mind? What if he’s had time to think about us and he wants to be free?
She shook her head, muttering to herself, “That’s all bullshit, Scarlet, and you know it.”
The comment sounded so much like Julian’s that she smiled and then headed for the highway toward his house.
Julian had laid his heart on the line. The ball was in her court.
She just wished she knew exactly which way to run to retrieve it.
There was only one thing she knew for certain: by this time tomorrow, they were going to resolve this situation once and for all.