CHAPTER 24
The lights were all on when Kristin pulled into the driveway.
Julian’s home!
Her heart started to race and her breath hitched as she thought about confronting him after his insistence that she make a choice.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t ready, but there was probably a small part of her that was still afraid he’d someday realize that she wasn’t what he wanted. Logically, she knew that was her own insecurities, and she wasn’t about to let them rule her life. Not now. Not anymore. Not when happiness was so close that all she needed to do was reach out and grab it.
The aching sense of loneliness she’d felt since Julian had left started to lift since she knew he was home, ready to hear her decision.
She pulled her car into the garage, having driven her own vehicle since it hadn’t been run in a while, and it was a clear day.
Entering the kitchen, nervous when she didn’t see any sign of Julian, she set down the box she was carrying on the floor and took a quick peek at the contents before taking off her jacket. She hung it up, then reached for Julian’s coat, noticing it was tossed on the counter.
It wasn’t until she was almost through the kitchen that she noticed the French door had been shattered, the area around the opening red, blood streaked everywhere around the jagged holes that had been solid when she’d left that morning.
Carefully, she stepped around the glass, worried now.
Had someone broken in? The door still appeared to be locked, but the squares on the top half of one of the doors were almost completely gone.
Her heart sinking, she frantically looked around, her eyes locking immediately on the bloody body sitting on the couch in the family room, evidently asleep.
“Julian!” she exclaimed, jumping onto the couch to see what in the hell had happened. “Hey. Talk to me.” She gently slapped him on the cheek, noticing most of the blood was coming from his hands.
His jeans were covered with blood, and his face was streaked red, probably from him touching it.
“Kristin?” His voice was groggy with sleep. “Oh fuck. I’m having a nightmare.”
“Open your eyes,” she demanded, not sure if she should be happy about him referring to her as a bad dream.
His lids fluttered before his eyes finally opened and Kristin found herself falling into the deepest look of despair she’d ever seen. “What happened?” she asked breathlessly. “Why are you all bloody? Why is there a bunch of shattered glass on the French doors?”
“Why are you here?” he asked hoarsely, looking like he was finally waking up.
“I live here,” she said, exasperated. “I’m your wife.”
“You didn’t choose me. You weren’t here.”
Oh, holy shit. “You thought I left you?”
She was late, really late because she made some stops on the way home. But she hadn’t exactly been sure what time Julian would get home. She’d assumed it would be later in the evening.
“You did leave me.” He sat up and looked at her like he was seeing a ghost. “Didn’t you?”
“No,” she answered simply, concerned about his injuries. She didn’t ask any more questions. The answers were obvious. He’d thought she was gone, and he’d been so upset that he’d tossed back some drinks and started punching out windows.
“Your car was gone,” he accused.
From the smell of his breath, she could tell he’d had a few drinks. Maybe more than a few. “I drove my own car to work today. It has to be driven occasionally, and the weather was good. Julian, what in the hell did you do?”
She wanted to weep as she looked from his ravaged expression to his bloodied hands. Lifting one at a time, she could see some swelling, cuts, and lacerations. None of his injuries were life-threatening, yet she knew he’d done this to himself because he thought she’d left him.
“I hurt,” he answered, like those two words explained everything.
“I’m sure you do. Come with me. I need to clean you up. How much did you drink?”
He shook his head. “Not enough. I nodded off, but I’m not completely drunk. I’m pretty sure I’m still dreaming.”
“If you refer to me as your nightmare again, I’m going to kick your ass,” Kristin warned sternly. “Can you help me get you up?”
“I can stand,” he answered, his eyes still glued on her face. “Are you really here?”
“Yes,” she answered, impatient to clean up his wounds.
To her surprise, he did stand up pretty easily, and she took his arm and led his unresisting form to the elevator.
She was still concerned, but she wasn’t as terrified as she’d been when she’d seen his bloody body.
She took a shower in one of the guest bathrooms while Julian used the one in the master bathroom, right after she’d helped him out of his bloody clothing. It took her a while to clean and bandage up his hands, using antibiotic cream to prevent infection. The cuts were blessedly small, and none looked like they needed sutures. As she finished, she mused, “I thought you might have broken some bones. But I don’t think you did.”
There was some generalized swelling, but nothing to cause her to panic.
“I didn’t. The windows gave easily on the first punch. Damn cheap glass. I got the cuts from the holes in the door. They just kept breaking.”
Julian was pretty even-tempered, so the thought of him punching on a glass door until much of it was broken was something she couldn’t imagine.
“Done,” she pronounced. “Let’s get some ice packs.” She beckoned him toward the door.
He motioned for her to go first, and he followed her down in the elevator and into the kitchen.
She turned and pointed her finger at the living room. “Go sit. I’ll handle it.”
He grinned at her, then turned toward the living room, then he turned back again. “That’s weird. I could swear I heard somebody crying.”
Kristin set the readied ice pack on the counter and wandered over to the box. “I hope you won’t be upset. You said you never had time for a dog, and this one needed a home so badly. I saw the ad in the paper from the animal shelter. She was abused.”
She pulled the squirming mass of fur from the box and cradled the puppy to her chest. “She’s a Lab mix. I hope you don’t mind having a dog around the house.”
“For us?” Julian asked cautiously.
“Of course. I’ve always wanted a pet, and you said you really wanted a dog. I always thought about a cat, but when I saw the ad in the paper, I couldn’t turn away. She’s really still a puppy.”
She giggled as the female pup started to lick her face.
“She’s cute,” Julian said as he came forward and started stroking the puppy’s body. “Can I hold her?” he asked.
Kristin gently placed the dog in Julian’s arms, careful not to hurt his hands.
He froze as he was holding the animal, his gaze focused on her ring finger. “You’re wearing your band.”
She held out her hand, then pulled on the chain around her neck where his ring rested. Holding up the makeshift necklace with his ring, she said drily, “I don’t think you’re going to be wearing yours for a while.”
His hand would be too swollen to officially don his wedding band, but she didn’t mind. She’d hold on to it for as long as he needed.
Julian watched the chain swing for a moment before he said, “I’ll be wearing it just as soon as my hand heals. And I can get you a new band. Those were kind of cheap.”
“You will not. It’s the only thing I have from my wedding. We picked them out together, whether I remember doing it or not?”
He nodded.
“I’m keeping it,” she insisted.
Remembering her other stop, she went to grab her purse from the counter and brought it over as she explained, “One of the reasons I was late was because I was picking up the puppy. The other reason was this.” She held up the papers so he could see them.
He gaped at her, his eyes wide. “You filed to change your name?”
“I’m officially Kristin Sinclair now. Your wife.”
“Jesus! If I’m dreaming I hope to hell I never wake up.”
She palmed his jaw, then stretched up to kiss him tenderly. “Did that feel like a dream?”
“Maybe the very beginning of a wet dream,” he rumbled, absently stroking a bandaged hand over the puppy.
She put the papers on the counter and picked up the ice packs. “Go.”
He moved into the living room, and Kristin arranged the puppy between them and put his hands on ice. “Will she piss on the couch?”
“I hope not. But she has to go outside often. She’s smart. I think she’ll potty train pretty fast. You really don’t mind?” She’d desperately wanted to give the puppy a home, and had fallen in love with the fur ball almost immediately.
“Nope. As long as you come with the deal, I’m going to love having a dog. I can see a few scars on her. I feel better knowing she has a safe home.”
“They never gave her a name. I’d like to name her Haven,” Kristin suggested.
“Haven for ‘a safe place’? I like it.” He grinned as the puppy scrambled up into Kristin’s lap. “You’re right. She is smart. She’s exactly where I’d like to be right now.”
She looked to see the puppy planted between her thighs. Ignoring his suggestive comment, she looked at Julian earnestly. “The name Haven is actually for me, too. You’re my haven, Julian. This home is my haven because you’re here with me. I missed you.”
His eyes grew so dark they were nearly black. “I missed you, too, baby.”
Kristin fought back her tears. The words came so easily to him, his sincerity so clear whenever he was trying to express himself.
“Let me take Haven outside. She hasn’t been out for a while.” She rose, but Julian grabbed the puppy.
“She can go off the back patio.”
Kristin savored the time she and Julian spent watching the puppy frolic in the snow before Haven finally found a spot to go potty. They praised her profusely, then brought her back into the house.
She’d swept up as much of the glass from the floor as possible, then helped Julian cover the windowpanes with cardboard. They’d have it fixed in the morning.
Placing the puppy back into her box after padding it with another fluffy towel, she let Julian take the box because he insisted and rode with him in the elevator upstairs.
He placed the dog on his side of the bed. “Sleep with me? Stay with me?”
Her heart melted at the vulnerable look in Julian’s eyes. She discarded her robe and slid into the cool sheets. He got in beside her and gathered her up until their bodies were flush.
She sighed, her muscles finally relaxing because she was exactly where she wanted to be. As difficult as her choice had been, there was no way she could throw away what they had. If the day ever came when Julian got restless about being married and tied down, she’d deal with it. But regrets about throwing away a man she loved more than anything or anybody in the world would be even worse. “I can’t believe you thought I’d left you.”
“Your car was gone. What else could I think?”
Kristin reached up and turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness.
Wrapping her arms around him, she told him softly, “You could think the truth. The reality is that I love you, Julian. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I can’t leave the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But I hate it that you hurt yourself.”
She started to weep, the stress of the last few days getting to her. Her fear of losing Julian, and the way he’d hurt himself when he’d thought he’d lost her. All of that and more had been keeping her on edge.
Now that she knew how much he loved her, she was relieved.
“Hey, don’t cry,” Julian pleaded.
“I can’t help it. I love you so much that it scares me. I was worried you’d come back and change your mind. And what if you didn’t want a dog? Or you didn’t want me to officially be a Sinclair?”
“You think I beat up doors every day?” Julian asked lightly.
“All this overwhelms me sometimes. I’ll be honest. I’m married to a superstar billionaire, and I’m just an ordinary woman.”
“I’m fucking in love with you, and I don’t always feel worthy of happiness or you, either. Underneath the superficial bullshit, I’m just a man, and a flawed one at that.”
“We’re all flawed,” she admitted.
“Then I guess our flaws are perfect for each other,” Julian answered with amusement in his voice.
“I love you,” she whispered into the dark.
“Dammit! I hate myself for doing this to my hands. I want to be buried inside you so damn bad right now that I can’t fucking breathe,” he said in a graveled tone.
“Just wait, Hotshot. You’ll make it up to me. Just hold me. Once your hands are better, be prepared to be worn out.”
“I’m already there,” he growled. “At least kiss me,” he demanded.
Reaching out in the darkness, she had no problem with that request.