CHAPTER 26
The next evening, Kristin still felt like she was walking around in a very surreal dream, one where she was still married to a man she loved with all of her heart.
And he loves me.
That miracle still mystified her, since she and Julian were so different. She knew—no matter what Julian said—that she wasn’t anything but ordinary when it came to her looks and oversized ass. But she wasn’t about to mess with destiny. She was quite happy with her fate.
Julian had hauled her into downtown Amesport this morning. Every single thing they’d done during the morning and afternoon had been frivolous and fun. After spending a few hours at the arcade, Julian had insisted on hitting the movie theater to see a lighthearted comedy that she had mentioned she’d wanted to see when they were in Vegas. Kristin was surprised that he had even remembered, since she’d only mentioned it briefly, and she’d said she’d like to see it when it came out on DVD someday. She usually never had the time to actually go to a movie theater, and she hadn’t been to the old arcade since she was kid.
Later in the afternoon, he’d cajoled her to a few of the shops, buying her outrageous items, like a giant teddy bear that she’d made the mistake of saying was adorable. Finally, she’d had to coerce him away from Main Street to make him stop buying her things she really didn’t need.
Finally, they’d stopped at Sullivan’s for lobster rolls before heading back to Micah’s house on the way back home, to pick up Haven. Tessa hadn’t minded watching the puppy, since she had Homer, her service dog, who had enjoyed his playtime with Julian’s new pup.
Now, Kristin was sitting in front of a warm fireplace at home, surrounded by the fixings for s’mores, wondering what was taking Julian so long to get downstairs. He’d only gone up because he said he wanted to get something on the upper level.
Haven was curled up next to the couch, sleeping peacefully.
“Did Homer wear you out today?” Kristin said aloud to the sleeping puppy with a smile.
Kristin was pleasantly tired herself, having spent one of the most incredible days of her life doing everything and nothing with Julian, the two of them acting like lovers, which they were. She sighed, thinking about how sweet he could be. He held her hand, stole kisses everywhere he could, and never let her forget that he loved her.
And she believed him. She sincerely believed that neither one of them would ever regret their choices. They were too damn happy together.
Her phone pinged with a text, and she pulled her cell out of her back pocket.
Julian: I love you, Scarlet.
She chuckled, wondering why he was texting her when he was in the same house.
Kristin: Love you, Hotshot. Why didn’t you just come downstairs?
“I’m here,” a husky voice proclaimed from the entrance to the family room. “I just wanted to text you like I would have done if we had gotten the chance to actually date. Isn’t that what boyfriends and a fiancé would do?”
Every nerve end in her body was tingling and Julian’s voice sent a pulse of pleasure down her spine. He looked so vulnerable, so uncertain, that Kristin wanted to leap up and throw herself into his arms. He hadn’t been his usual cocky, smartass self all day, and she kind of missed it. But the attentive lover was sort of nice, too.
She held out her hand to him. “Are you okay?”
He frowned. “I’m fine. Why do you think I’m not?” He put his bandaged hand in hers and sat down next to her. “Okay. Yeah. I’m kind of annoyed that I couldn’t get you flowers. I went upstairs to call. I wanted roses. But the flower shop was closed.”
She turned to face him and sat cross-legged like he was and lightly took his other hand. “Julian, I don’t need anything else. I have you.”
“I have you, too. But I hate the fact that you got robbed when it comes to romance. I never took you on a normal date, or did the typical things that a guy would do who is crazy about you. You deserve that and so damn much more.”
The expression of discontent in his eyes melted Kristin’s heart. “So that’s what today was about? Trying to make our non-dating time up to me?” she questioned, flabbergasted.
He shrugged. “Yes and no. I want to be with you doing those things. But yeah, I think you deserved a lot more than what you got.”
“Do you know how happy you make me? Don’t you realize that what we have means everything to me?” she questioned softly. “Maybe our relationship was unconventional, but we spent time in Hawaii and Vegas. You’ve given me something special. Why would I want normal when I have extraordinary?”
He grinned at her. “I can do a whole lot better.”
His devilish grin made her heart skip a beat. “Just the fact that you love me is perfect,” she answered with a sigh, wondering how he could think the little things mattered when she had so much now.
“I was an asshole in the past, Kristin. I blew off my mom and dad for over six damn years because I was so consumed with my career. That’s a mistake I can never take back again. I hadn’t seen them for most of my adult life because I wanted everything my way and on my terms. Xander was right, back when he told me I was being a prick. I was. And I ended up regretting it. I never want to fuck up again. I never want to not show the people who mean something to me that I care, every single day.” His eyes captured hers with an expression of remorse dancing in their depths.
“I know you care,” she assured him in a hushed voice.
“I more than care. You’re my everything,” he confessed in a low baritone that vibrated with emotion. “I knew almost immediately when we first met. I knew you were meant to be mine.”
If Kristin was honest with herself, deep down inside, she’d probably known that, too. Julian had touched a place in her heart that had never stopped aching for him. “Maybe I knew it, too. Maybe that’s why I had to do everything I could to distance myself. You and me—us—wasn’t even fathomable to me. You were Julian Sinclair. I was a small-town medical assistant and a makeshift bartender just trying to survive.”
“If I hadn’t already been committed to some projects, I would have stayed, worn down your resistance until you let me take you out,” Julian admitted. “But I had to wait. Every time I had to leave it almost killed me.”
Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at his tormented expression, knowing he meant every word he said. “So you decided to kidnap me?”
“I was pretty damn desperate by that time. When I found out you weren’t coming to Vegas, I was determined to find a way for you to go,” he rumbled.
Kristin’s heart skittered. “You went to an awful lot of trouble.”
He shot her a heated look. “Believe me, you’re worth it.”
She sighed, still not quite feeling worthy of inspiring this much emotion in Julian. But he was slowly changing the way she felt about herself.
“Tell me about our wedding,” she asked curiously. “I keep trying to remember it, but it’s just a blank.”
“That’s another thing . . . You deserved a beautiful wedding.”
“I had a great honeymoon in Hawaii. That was much better. Tell me.”
“The ceremony was short and sweet. We picked out rings from the chapel. You told me you didn’t need a fancy ring because I was your prize, and it was just a symbol. You were wearing that sexy dress, and when you said your wedding vows, it was the happiest day of my life. I was a little too messed up to realize that things might not look all that good the next day when we were sober.” He paused before adding, “I’m sorry you didn’t get a dream wedding.”
Kristin hated seeing Julian dejected. It wasn’t his usual demeanor, and it broke her heart. “I don’t regret it. I’ve never wanted a fancy wedding. I’d rather just be married to the right guy.”
He looked at her hopefully. “And you think you got it right?”
“I know so,” she answered emphatically. “Maybe I can’t remember it, and maybe I never will. But I know I wouldn’t have married you either unless it was actually what I wanted. I guess I still don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me sooner.”
“I was drunk, but I didn’t do something I didn’t want,” he said huskily. “Somehow, I wanted to convince you that we could make it real. When I woke up, I was worried that you wouldn’t even consider staying together and giving us a try. I took the rings and the paperwork, and actually hoped you didn’t remember. It would give me a chance to wrap the movie and get to Amesport so we could talk.”
“I have a confession to make,” she told him hesitantly.
“What?”
“You didn’t really blackmail me. I didn’t want to end our marriage, either. I didn’t think it was going to work, but I wanted to steal whatever time I could to be with you.”
“I thought you wanted to make me miserable,” he reminded her teasingly.
“How could I do that when you were so hard to resist?” she asked him lightly. “You might be bossy, but you’re kind of sweet sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” he said with false indignation.
Kristin leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. “Most of the time,” she relented. “Julian, I love you just the way you are. There isn’t anything I’d change about you. And there’s nothing I’d change about us and the way things happened. If I did, I might not have learned so much about myself along the way.”
“I did lie,” he answered regretfully. “In my defense, I was a desperate man, Scarlet.”
“I forgive you . . . this time. Don’t do it again,” she admonished, trying to stay serious when all she wanted to do was wallow in the warmth of his love and her happiness. “I wasn’t that forthcoming about how I was feeling, either. I’m sorry. I was just so afraid I was going to end up heartbroken when all of this was over.”
“I don’t know how you couldn’t have known exactly how I felt,” Julian said, sounding confused as he sat back a little and kissed her on the forehead.
Kristin straightened up and looked him in the eyes. “Because nothing this good has ever happened to me. My life has never been normal. I didn’t really dream about falling in love. I just wanted to get through the day. I didn’t think about fairy-tale endings with the perfect guy. My life has never been that way. You were an unexpected gift who offered me a love like I’ve never had. I was confused, and it was scary. I lived out my fantasy in Vegas, and I thought it was over.”
“We’ll never be over, Scarlet. Your life has been too damn hard, and way too serious. It’s time for that to change,” Julian grumbled as he hauled her into his lap.
“It has been difficult sometimes, but I wouldn’t change what I did even if I could. I love my mom and dad, and they did the best they could under difficult circumstances,” Kristin shared as she wrapped her arms around his neck and inhaled his musky, masculine scent. “What you did for my parents . . . I’m not sure how I can ever repay something like that.”
“No repayment. It was nothing,” he said gruffly. “Unless you want to pay me in sexual favors. I’d take that.”
She giggled. “I’d give you anything you want because I love you.”
“Be careful what you promise,” he answered hoarsely. “I can think of some pretty kinky fantasies, sweetheart.”
Kristin knew he’d changed the subject because he didn’t want her to thank him. Julian took it for granted that she was his wife, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make her happy. For him, it was nothing life-changing. For her, the fact that he went out of his way to make her parents’ life easier meant the world to her.
No man had ever given a damn about her happiness or her emotional pain. But he did, and Julian being Julian, he’d just resolved her issues in the fastest way possible with minimal drama or fuss.
She let the subject go, accepting the fact that he’d always be a protective husband. Kristin planned to take care of him just like he took care of her.
“How kinky?” she asked breathlessly, thinking about just how much she wanted to explore with this man she loved so desperately.
Julian had her pinned beneath him in a heartbeat, his strong body covering hers. “There isn’t much I haven’t fantasized about when it comes to you,” he answered, his deep blue eyes piercing her soul as he pinned her arms over her head. “Most of them revolved around convincing you that you’re mine while we’re both naked.”
“Already convinced,” she panted, her gaze meeting his with a raw honesty she couldn’t and didn’t want to hide. “But if you want to keep trying, I’m up for that.”
The sensual, possessive stare he was giving her slammed her hard in the chest.
“Jesus, woman, do you know that you hold my heart and my entire life in your hands right now?” he rasped.
She did. She knew it. All it took was one look at his face to understand that he loved her just as much as she loved him. “Just like you hold mine,” she answered earnestly. “I love you, Julian Sinclair. I’ll guard your heart for the rest of my life.”
How many people had ever seen the real, beautiful man beneath the veneer of the superstar? Kristin considered how much people were missing if they didn’t see the kindness in his soul, but she was going to be greedy and keep that information close to her heart. Nobody needed to know him the way she did. She’d let the public have their gorgeous A-lister superstar. They saw a Julian who was handsome, but cool and aloof. She’d much rather have the real man beneath the facade.
“I love you, baby,” he finally answered. “There will never be a day when I won’t try to make sure you know that.”
His vow made tears spring to her eyes as she answered, “I know you do.”
The death of Julian’s parents would still haunt him sometimes, but she’d do whatever she could to help him preserve his memories while lessening the pain and regret. What happened had obviously changed him profoundly, made him the man he was today. She just wished it hadn’t taken so much painful loss for him to be the man he was right now.
Kristin didn’t really know what he was like before, but it didn’t matter. All she cared about was now, and the fact that she loved and accepted everything about him, just like he did for her.
“I have you exactly where I want you right now,” Julian told her wickedly.
She smiled back at him with an impish expression of her own. “Funny. I happen to be where I want to be,” she answered seductively, deliberately encouraging him.
Julian in caveman mode was one of the hottest things she’d ever experienced.
“Prepare to be thoroughly ravished,” he warned in an actor’s booming pirate voice.
“Feel free to pillage away,” she invited with an eager smile.
Julian didn’t need any further encouragement. He swooped down and captured her mouth in a heated embrace that made them both forget all about making s’mores until several hours later.