CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
JASE WOKE IN a rush, dead asleep one moment, upright and panting the next. Sweat had created a fine sheen over his skin. He scanned his surroundings—not his bedroom, he realized. Or his prison cell.
Brook Lynn’s room. He was in her bed.
His gaze jerked to the slender body lying next to him. Morning sunlight spilled from the crack in the curtains, illuminating her sleeping form. Sleeping Beauty. Blond hair cascaded around her delicate features, tangled from the clench of his fingers. Eyelashes cast shadows over rose-flushed cheeks. Her lips were still red and slightly swollen from his kisses. Everything inside him relaxed. Back where I belong.
But for how long?
She was scared of him, she’d said. He hated that, but he couldn’t blame her for it. He knew what she’d merely begun to suspect: the absolute utter darkness of his rage. He hadn’t been pushed that far in a long time, but what if she was right? What if he snapped one day and hurt her?
Suddenly sick to his stomach, he rose from the bed, careful not to wake her. She didn’t have a private bathroom, so he used the one in the hall. He found a toothbrush still in its packaging and wondered if she’d bought it for him, pre-confession.
He glared at his reflection in the mirror and saw a well-satisfied but obviously unhappy male. I can’t give her up. I just have to prove to us both I can be trusted.
And he would. No other option was acceptable.
Noise drew him out of the bathroom. The sound of a cat being murdered, surely. But no. He found Jessie Kay in the kitchen, singing while making sandwiches. He paused as she glanced up from frying eggs and frowned at him.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “I didn’t see your car, and last I heard, you’d gotten the ax.”
Had Brook Lynn told her sister about his past?
Either way, it was time for a reckoning, he supposed. He closed his eyes for a moment—man up—before sitting down at the table. “Beck dropped me off last night.”
“I wish he’d stayed. I needed help painting my toenails.”
“Well, I’m glad we’re getting a little time to ourselves.”
Her frown deepened. “Dude. If you’re hitting on me, I’m going to take this knife and shove it up your—”
“No. I’m not hitting on you,” he said, speaking over her. “I’m trying to apologize for the way I treated you. In the beginning.” Brook Lynn loved this girl, and now, knowing Jessie Kay and her vulnerabilities a little better, he understood why. She had a quick wit and an easy smile, and she would burn the world to the ground if it meant saving the ones she loved. As he would.
“Can’t say you didn’t end up with the better choice,” she muttered. “You may or may not have noticed I have a few issues.”
“You and me both. But Brook Lynn is merely the better choice for me. Some guy is going to be lucky to have you.”
She flipped her hair over her shoulder, saying, “Duh.” Then she flashed him a wry smile. “What happened between you guys, anyway? Brook Lynn wouldn’t say.”
She’d kept his secret, even from her sister. That had to mean something. “I told her how I...spent almost a decade in prison,” he said.
“What!” Jessie Kay spun around and gaped at him. “You’re freaking kidding me.”
No more hiding, he decided. It caused too many problems later on. For others and for himself.
Jase clenched the edge of the table. He had to pry his fingers loose before he snapped the thing in two as he told her the entire story. She listened intently, never interrupting. Her expressive face registered more shock, disbelief, horror and finally understanding.
“Dude.” She arched a golden brow at him, an expression he’d often seen on Brook Lynn. “I always thought I’d be the Dillon sister to end up with an ex-con.”
“You still could,” he replied drily. “Your soul mate is still out there.”
“This is true. Well, fingers crossed.”
“So?” he asked. “Is this the part where you warn me away from your sister?”
She peered at him for a long while, studying him, thinking. Then she sighed. “No. But if you ever hurt her...”
“I won’t.” He’d run like hell out of her life first.
“Good. Because I don’t want to have to spend time behind bars for the murder I’ll commit.”
Please. There’d never been a woman with more bark and less bite. “You’re a good person, Jessie Kay. My...friend.” She was, wasn’t she? She could have tried to stop Brook Lynn from dating him, but she hadn’t. She’d encouraged the girl. “Don’t ever settle for less than the best. It’s what you deserve.”
“Truer words have never been spoken,” she said, and he wished she’d sounded as if she believed him. “But right now I don’t have time to listen to you wax poetic about my awesomeness. Brook Lynn woke me up while you were sleeping and told me about her new business idea—making and delivering sandwiches. We’re partners, and we’re calling it You’ve Got It Coming. She baked the bread, cooked and spiced the meats, and even mixed the condiments before crawling back into bed with you. I’m putting everything together to hand out as samples to the people in town.”
And he’d slept through it all, which shocked him. Considering how much time he’d spent wondering when he would next be attacked had made him a light sleeper. Guess he was more comfortable here than he’d realized.
“You guys are destined for success.” Though he hated to lose Brook Lynn as his non-wife wife.
“I will not fail her,” Jessie Kay added staunchly.
He needed to get home and check on West, but he found himself saying, “Anything I can do to help?”
She tossed him an evil grin. “You are so gonna regret asking that.”
Together they made thirteen sandwiches, everything from a ham, egg and cheese bagel to a huevos rancheros wrap for the breakfast lovers, and roast pork with pickled cucumber to smoked salmon salad sandwiches for the lunch crowd. He felt it was his duty to test most of the ingredients for poison, the same way Brook Lynn once tested baked goods. He was diligent like that.
“You’re eating our profits, you douche,” Jessie Kay finally cried, throwing a handful of cheese shreds at him. “And I will get them back, whatever it takes!”
He laughed and threw a pickle at her. She was reaching for a slice of bacon when Brook Lynn walked in, wearing a tank, a pair of short pink shorts and fuzzy house boots. He hardened instantly.
She pasted a too-bright, clearly fake smile on her face. “Morning.”
“Uh-oh. Warden’s here,” Jessie Kay said, the food fight over before it had really begun.
“So the fun has to stop, right?” Even Brook Lynn’s fake smile vanished.
“I didn’t mean... Oh, never mind. You’re clearly in a mood. One too many orgasms?” Jessie Kay started bagging sandwiches. “I’ve got some deliveries to make before my boss, the Dragon Lady, decides to fire me.” She snickered. “See what I did there?”
Brook Lynn rolled her eyes.
“I’m off.” Jessie Kay kissed Brook Lynn’s cheek before she left.
“You okay?” he asked her. Jase studied her, this woman who’d stolen his heart.
He froze. The words echoed in his mind. Stolen his heart. She had, hadn’t she? He’d known he could fall, but hadn’t realized he’d long since fallen. He loved her. Loved her with every cell in his body. Loved her with every bit of light in his soul. She’d somehow snuck past his defenses to become one of the most important parts of his life. More important than his lungs.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, fighting the urge to go to her, draw her in his arms and show her how he felt.
“I...don’t know.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“This isn’t going to work if you refuse to tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
Baby blues he’d so often drowned in implored him to understand. “I’m a horrible person. I ran away from you, stayed away from you, tried to make you angry—and now I want to complain because you were alone with my sister.”
She was...jealous?
Don’t smile. “Your reaction is understandable. I slept with her.”
The color vanished from her cheeks. “I know. The image is burned into my brain.”
He wished she hadn’t walked into his room that night. Even the thought of her with another man... Deep breath in, out. “Like so many other things, I can’t change it,” he said. “What’s done is done.”
“I know that, too,” she said, shoulders sagging with dejection.
He sensed a “but” and leaned against the counter, crossed his arms.
“Do you compare us?” she asked.
“No!” he burst out. How could she think that, even for a second? “There is no one who compares to you.”
She flinched. “I just...I don’t...”
Forcibly controlling his tone, he added, “Tell me what you want me to do, and it’s done. Burn my bed and get a new one? Done. Buy a new house? Done. The only thing I won’t do is stay away from Jessie Kay. The two of you are a package deal, honey, and that’s never going to change. You know it, and I know it. Besides, if I ignored her, it would hurt her, which would hurt you.”
“I don’t want you to ignore her,” she said. “I don’t want any of those things. I just...I don’t know.” She stomped across the room, but she didn’t draw him closer when she was within reach. She pushed him, as if daring him to react. “I’m so frustrated with us both right now. There’s no quick fix for any of this.”
“Trust me, I know.”
She looked down at her hands, as if she couldn’t believe what they’d done, before turning away from him.
He gently latched on to her waist, stopping her. “You do whatever you need to do to me, as long as you stay with me.”
* * *
MY RESISTANCE IS melting all over again, Brook Lynn thought.
Seeing Jase with her sister had caused the darkest, most primal surge of jealousy to shoot through her. It had been irrational. It was irrational, not to mention illogical. She trusted him not to cheat. And she trusted Jessie Kay. But...
The emotions were still there, frothing, propelling her toward madness. Even knowing she was out of line didn’t help. And now she couldn’t shake the questions rapid-firing through her mind. Questions she voiced. “What sets me apart from my sister in your mind? What makes you want one of us but not the other—when you once wanted the other, too?”
Warm breath fanned the curve of her neck, making her shiver. His chest pressed against her back, the strength of him buffering her from the rest of the world. He picked her up and turned, placing her on the kitchen counter. Parting her legs, he stepped into the cradle she provided.
He framed her face in his big, callused hands. “You’ve known hardship, and yet you’ve never allowed it to define you. You are serious...about having fun. You carry responsibilities too heavy for your shoulders, and yet you don’t seem to notice. And I have never wanted a woman the way I want you. Never needed one the way I need you. You were made for me—she wasn’t.”
“Jase,” she said softly. Had more beautiful words ever been spoken to her?
“I’m not done.” His hands moved to the back of her neck, fisting her hair. Ravaged, he said, “You are pleasure to my pain, hope to my fear. You are everything I’ve ever needed but didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to have. I adore the way you think and the things you say.” Voice going husky, he added, “And don’t even get me started on the way you move.”
A tremor danced along her spine as she played with the ends of his hair. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Brook Lynn,” he said.
“Yes, Jase.”
“I love you.”
Oh...wow. She’d been wrong—more beautiful words had been spoken to her. “But...you can’t. You shouldn’t. I abandoned you when you needed me most.”
“Not your fault. I started our relationship in the wrong place. But we’re on the right track now. You know everything. I can prove myself. I will.”
Well, it was suddenly clear to her that she had things to prove, as well. “Jase, I—”
“Still not done, honey. I love you with every fiber of my being.” His thumbs caressed her cheeks with reverence. “I’m happiest when I’m with you and resent any time apart. I think of you and smile. I think of you and crave. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
She melted against him, and in that moment, that instant, that snap of time, the fear left her. Just, boom, it packed up and moved out. This man—this amazing, precious man—might have a temper, but he loved her. He loved her, defective Brook Lynn Dillon. And she knew without a doubt that he would never turn his rage on her.
She might not have forgotten his rages, but she had forgotten his reaction to her, at least for a little while. He’d snapped out of his darker emotions at her command, at her touch, and his first thought had been of her, of her safety.
How could she ever have doubted him?
“So...” she said, kissing the center of his chin. “What I’m hearing is, you are totally whipped.”
He laughed, the sound of it rusty but magnificent. “I think ‘tenderized’ is a more apt description.”
“Like chicken?”
“For sure.”
Feeling more lighthearted than she had in days, she couldn’t help but tease, “You think I’m a mallet?”
“A very beautiful mallet.” He kissed the center of her chin, as well, then the edge of her mouth. “I was serious about proving myself. And the only way I know to do that is to make sure you know everything about me. Nothing held back.” Thin lines of tension formed at the corners of his eyes. “And there is something else I haven’t told you. Something I haven’t told anyone, not even Beck and West.”
When he said no more, she petted at his chest. “Whatever it is,” she said softly, “I’m not going anywhere. Not this time. And I want you to know I kept your other secret. Whatever you tell me stays with me. Always.”
He thought for a moment, nodded. But the lines of tension only deepened. “I...when I was first locked away...I was...I was scrawny, and the things you’ve probably heard about prison life...they’re true.” He cleared his throat. Beads of sweat dotted his brow. “The ‘worse’ things I told you happened to me...I was held down and...forced...and it happened more than once, until I got stronger and learned to fight back.”
Hearing the confession was like taking a baseball bat to the head: jarring, shocking and horrific all at once. Reeling, she wrapped her arms around him, held him close. “I’m so sorry, Jase.” A thousand emotions seemed to bubble up at once, nearly choking her.
He squeezed her tightly, holding on as if she were a life raft. He’d suffered, and was still suffering, with the aftereffects.
His body began to shake. Something wet splashed on her neck. Tears?
“Oh, Jase,” she whispered. No words would be good enough, but she had to try. “You are a wonderful, amazing man, and I am so blessed to know you. I hate that you were hurt. I hate it so much. I would take away your pain if I could. I would bear it for you.”
He held on to her long after his shaking stopped. When he lifted his head, she wiped the moisture from his cheeks, her heart pounding against her ribs. She’d been right before. This man felt too much. Too deeply.
A buzz sounded from his pocket, followed by a ring.
“Answer if you’d like,” she said and gave him a quick peck. “Then I want you to take me to bed.” Where I will confess my love for you. After everything, it would be better if she showed him before she told him.
“No. Bed now. Actually, counter now. You’ll help me forget the past and remember I have a future.”
Before he could lift the hem of her shirt, her phone started ringing.
He sighed and straightened, then checked his phone. “Missed call. Beck.”
She checked hers. “Missed call. Beck.”
She gave him a little push, and just like before her mountain of a man remained in place. He dialed his friend. As the two men talked, she unbuttoned Jase’s pants. But the one-sided conversation soon captured her full attention, and she stilled.
“What do you mean?...No, impossible...She isn’t...she can’t...” Jase turned away from Brook Lynn, and dread slithered through her. “Okay. I’ll be right there.”
He hung up, but didn’t face Brook Lynn right away.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
The longest moment she could ever imagine passed before he turned. He’d grown pale, waxen. “Beck’s secret. He tracked down my ex-girlfriend. Daphne. Had emailed her once he found her, so now she’s here. In town. At my house.”
“What!” Chilled to the bone, Brook Lynn hopped to her feet.
“That’s not all.” Jase tunneled a hand through his hair. “She has a kid—and she says the girl is mine.”