***
I’m… pregnant, huh?
I still can’t get used to the word, still baffled by the news as I step into the elevator of my apartment building.
All the way home, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop imagining myself with a big tummy, my arms with an infant. I can’t stop trying to imagine my child. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will it have blue eyes or black? Will it be smart? Will it be strong?
I’m excited to find out, excited to begin this journey of motherhood that I know will last all my life. At the same time, though, I’m scared.
What if I’m not cut out for this? I know a lot of things, and I know a thing or two about taking care of babies because I took some babysitting jobs when I was in high school. That doesn’t mean I’m prepared, though, and I’m not sure I can do everything by myself.
It helps if you don’t make the journey alone.
So, do I get back together with Grant then?
I’m still wondering about that when the elevator doors open, deep in thought as I walk down the hallway, which is why I don’t realize I have a guest until I’m just two feet away from her.
“Marjorie?” My eyebrows furrow.
“Abby.” Marjorie gives me a hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you. The kitchen just doesn’t seem the same without you.”
“I missed you, too.” I squeeze her tighter, realizing I’ve needed a hug since Dr. Norwood told me the news and I couldn’t very well hug him. “It’s good to see you.”
Then I step back. “Wait. Grant didn’t send you, did he?”
Marjorie shakes her head. “It’s my day off. I came to see you because I was worried about you. I’ve brought some pies.” She lifts a paper bag off the floor. “Both savory and sweet.”
“Including your signature salted caramel apple pie?” I ask hopefully, suddenly craving it.
Marjorie nods. “Including that.”
“Oh, you’re an angel.” I open the door to my apartment. “Come in. I’ve got something to tell you.”
I don’t just need a hug. I need someone to share the news with and Marjorie’s just perfect.
She gives me a puzzled look as she picks up her bag and steps in. “You know, I thought you’d be very upset but you seem… happy.”
“I am happy.” I close the door. “I’m happy because–” I rub my hands and take a deep breath, “—I’m pregnant.”
Marjorie puts down the bag in her hand, her eyes wide as she stares at me. “You’re pregnant?”
I rub my belly. “I am. I just came from the doctor.”
“Wow.” Her jaw drops.
“That was my reaction exactly.”
She starts jumping. “Oh, my God. You’re pregnant.” She hugs me again, both of us jumping. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. I could definitely use a friend right now.”
Speaking of friends, maybe I should call Lindsey. She didn’t really do anything wrong, after all, and she’s probably worried about me. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled, too.
Abruptly, Marjorie stops, her hands on my shoulders. “Grant doesn’t know, does he?”
I shake my head then sigh as I sit on the couch. “I have to tell him, don’t I?”
Marjorie sits beside me and holds my hand. “I hate to say this but you do. A child needs a father and as much as possible, he should have one.”
Don’t I know it? I may not want to count on Grant, but I do want my child to have a father to count on – a luxury I never had.
And that’s not all.
She squeezes my hand. “That doesn’t mean you have to get back together with Grant, though, unless you want to. Do you want to?”
I nod. The more I think about it, the more I want someone to go on this journey with, someone to share experiences and memories of my child with.
I want someone to share my life with.
“But I’m scared, Marj. I’m scared that he might manipulate me again.”
“If it’s any help, he looks very remorseful lately.”
I raise an eyebrow. “He does?”
“And miserable. And he hardly eats my food. I think he’s really sorry for what he did to you, Abby.”
“So, you think I should give him another chance?”
“If you love him, you should.”
“Even if that could be another chance to hurt me?”
“I’m not saying he’ll never hurt you again. People hurt each other. That’s inevitable. But judging from what I’ve seen, he doesn’t like hurting you, and he wants to make the pain go away. As long as he keeps doing that, I think the two of you will be fine. You’ll hurt and heal together. That’s what a relationship is all about, right?”
I have to admit she has a point. All those men who hurt my mother, they never looked back. And Grant never did, either, until now.
“If you can’t trust Grant again, trust the love you feel for each other. As long as there’s love, you can make things work.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You really do give good advice. Do you know that?”
“I know I’m a good cook.” She takes one of her pies out of her bag and unwraps it.
“Mmm.” I close my eyes as the smell hits my nostrils. “I’ll go get a spoon.”
On my way to the kitchen, I pass by the full-length mirror and I stop, staring at my reflection. My bump doesn’t show yet. In fact, nothing about me has changed on the outside. But I know I do have another person inside me. And that knowledge gives me fresh courage.
The courage to love. The courage to trust.
The courage to take another chance.
I don’t need Grant. I can raise this child all by myself. But I do want him.
It takes two…
Suddenly, I can’t wait to tell him the good news.