Chapter 18

Away from the Herd

It’s been two weeks since Jack died — the worst two weeks of my life.

After giving him a proper burial beside Gwen and handing over Edgar and Dave to the African authorities, Nathan and I came home.

We haven’t spent much time together, though.

I’ve been in mourning. He’s been busy with work and teaching his new VP all the ropes.

Then a few days ago, I decided to get away. You know, sometimes you just have to detach yourself from the rest of the world, to escape all the hustle and bustle and be by yourself.

You have to spend some time away from the herd.

So here I am in the mountains, camping all by myself. After surviving Africa, I’m no longer afraid.

And today, I’m going hiking to the top of the tallest peak. It’s a perfect day for it, too, with the sun shining bright and a gentle breeze blowing.

As I emerge from my tent, I’m already dressed for the climb — hooded jacket and stretchy pants. I put my shoes on and pick up my backpack then grab my climbing stick. All set.

I quickly learn it isn’t easy. I’ve never done it before in spite of loving animals and the outdoors so much. I never thought I’d do it alone, either.

Many times, I stop to catch my breath, sit down and rest my feet or take a few gulps of water. I almost trip a few times, too.

But somehow, I manage. After a few hours, I reach the top.

What they say is right. The view from the top is unlike any other.

It’s spectacular.

Standing there on top of the mountain, looking down at hills, woodlands and meadows, I feel in control of my life.

I feel like I’ve come so far.

Now, all that’s left is to decide where I’m going.

What do I want to do with my life?

Henry’s job offer still stands. Do I take it? Do I work for the Seeker?

After Africa, I’ve come to realize two things.

One, I really like taking pictures of wild animals. In spite of what happened to my brother, in spite of all the mess and the danger, I still love animals. I’d still like to capture them on camera.

Two, I love Nathan.

He’s probably the only thing I love more than I love animals or photography.

I want to be with him. I want to be by his side, to hear his laughter, to see his smile, to feel his arms around me and his lips on mine, to support his dreams and ambitions.

But what about my dream?

True, I’ve dreamed of marrying, too, of finding a man to spend the rest of my life with. In a way, Nathan is my dream come true.

But he’s not only my dream. Must I sacrifice one dream for another?

Must I choose?

And if so, what do I choose?

“Don’t jump.”

I turn my head, surprised at the voice. I must have been so deep in thought that I didn’t hear anyone approaching.

“What?”

“I said don’t jump.” The man comes closer.

He looks like he’s in his early thirties. Probably Nathan’s age. Athletic build. Blond hair. Blue eyes.

“What makes you think I’m going to jump?” I ask him.

“Because you look like you’re carrying the weight on the world on your shoulders.”

I do? “Well, I guess I do have a lot of my mind.”

“Don’t we all?” He gives me a perfect smile before offering his hand. “I’m Grant, by the way.”

“Sam,” I say during the handshake. “It’s my first time climbing a mountain.”

“Really?” He takes off his jacket. “I would have pegged you for a woman who loves being on top.”

I blush at the remark.

“Of the world, I mean.”

Yeah, right.

He takes a few gulps from his water bottle then splashes some of it on his hair, the drops of water trickling down the sides of his face, some making their way down his sweat-drenched shirt.

Okay.

I decide it’s time to leave. “I better go.”

“Whoa. You only just got here, right?” He wipes his face and hair with a towel. “You should enjoy the view.”

For some reason, my eyes are drawn to his chiseled abdomen. I quickly look away, sitting down on a rock.

Calm down, Sam. You already have one smoking hot guy, remember?

“What model is your camera?” he asks.

“Nikon D810,” I answer, grateful for the new topic.

“You like taking pictures?”

“I guess.”

“Do you want me to take a picture of you? Though I’m sure your picture won’t look anywhere as good as you.”

I look at him. “Um, Grant, I appreciate you being sweet and all but…” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m taken.”

“Oh.” He frowns but just for a moment. “Is that why you wanted to jump?”

“I was not going to jump,” I repeat. “I was just thinking.”

“About your boyfriend?”

“About life.” I gaze at the horizon. “I was just wondering about what to do with my life.”

“It’s simple,” he says. “Do what you want to do.”

“It’s not that simple,” I tell him. “I want to do two things at the same time.”

“Can’t you?”

Good question. Can’t I?

“Do you have a girlfriend?” I ask him out of the blue. “Just a question. Not that I’m interested. Not that you’re not interesting. Just—”

“No,” he cuts me off. “The answer is no.”

“Well, if you had a choice between the woman you love and the job you dream of, which would you choose?”

“Do I have to choose?”

“Don’t you?”

To my surprise, Grant shakes his head. “I don’t think so. If the person you love really loves you back, he or she will want you to be happy, right? And you can only be happy if you’re doing something you love.”

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t the person you love be able to make you happy?”

“In the first place, it shouldn’t be up to any other person to make you happy. That’s your responsibility. Do what you love. Make yourself happy. And the person you love will be happy for you and love you more.”

I look at him. “So, you’re saying I should ask the person I love to set me free but love me just the same?”

“Don’t,” he tells me. “Just fly free. Birds don’t ask permission to soar, do they? And don’t you feel happy just watching them fly? No one takes delight in seeing a bird in a cage. Not really.”

A bird in a cage. Right. Why haven’t I thought of that?

“Love should free a person and help him or her to fly, not put him or her in a cage.”

I nod. “You know what? You’re right. I understand now. I think I know now what I should do.”

He smiles. “I’m glad I helped.”

Who knew I would meet a new friend up here on a mountain, the most unlikely of places? And who knew that I would hear just what I needed to?

Indeed, I know now what I’m supposed to do.

I’ve made my decision.

And after the party to celebrate the launch of Landers Innovations’ newest software on Friday, I’ll tell Nathan.