Chapter Six

Cole

 

I returned to Agenda on Tuesday, prepared for an interrogation. Seth, Zane, and the rest of the crew would want to know how my date with Jimmy had gone.

I was actually excited for them to ask. I wanted to tell someone how happy I was. Ever since Sunday night, I’d been walking with a little more spring in my step. I kept catching myself smiling at nothing, caught up in memories of laughing on the ice with Jimmy.

Our kiss replayed in my brain on a loop. I’d never kissed with passion like that unless sex was on the table. But I didn’t want to ruin things with Jimmy by going too fast.

So yeah, I jerked off as soon as I got home from our date, but my passion for Jimmy had the potential to be more than erotic. If I was careful, this could turn into something real.

I got to work thirty minutes before opening. Seth and Zane had only just turned the heating on, but it was still considerably warmer inside the coffeehouse than it had been outside. I unwrapped the scarf from around my neck and shirked my heavy parka.

“Did you walk all the way here in this weather?” asked Seth by way of greeting, glancing up from his leather-bound book of invoices. His expression was slightly disapproving.

“It’s not that far,” I said. “I can’t be bothered with public transport.” I liked to keep my faith in humanity intact.

“If you don’t mind coming to work early, I can start driving you here,” said Zane. “There’s plenty of room in my van.”

“I like the walk,” I said honestly. Fresh air helped me charge my batteries for the day.

“The offer still stands,” said Zane. “If it gets too cold.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” I assured him. I still wasn’t used to the hospitality that Zane and Seth and all their friends handed out like candy on Halloween. They were so driven to help others, it made me feel like being a better person too.

“Have we been busy?” I asked, tying one of our tacky, second-hand, floral-printed aprons around my neck and waist before I started helping set up for the day.

“December is proving to be our most profitable month so far,” said Seth with a grin.

“I’m glad to hear it,” I said, opening a new paper bag of raw sugar. First, I filled our big sugar jar, then I dished an even amount into each of the small glass bowls for every table.

“We’re not going to have any problem affording our holiday event,” said Seth.

“We still look festive enough though,” said Zane.

“I hadn’t even noticed that you’d decorated,” I said, glancing up from my fiddly job. Now that I looked, there were a few half-hearted decorations thrown around. The front door was lined with old strips of blue and white tinsel, and there was a red, gold, and green garland hanging on the bathroom door.

“Honestly, you need a tree,” I said.

“Isn’t that too Christmas-y?” said Zane.

“Technically, it’s Pagan,” said Seth. “We could put pride-related decorations on a tree, I guess. I’ll run it by Maya before we do anything. She’s our sensitivity decorator.”

Zane winked at me. “And we still need someone to go shopping for proper decorations at MerryMart, remember?”

I busily focussed on the sugar again, unable to keep my smile off my face. “I might be able to do that at some point.”

“So your date went well?” said Seth.

“Very well. It was…” Extraordinary didn’t cover it. I peeked up at Seth with a smile stretched wide on my face. “It was the best.”

“What did you do?” asked Seth, who was beaming nearly as much as me.

“We went ice-skating and had gingerbread lattes.” It sounded corny out loud.

“Oh my god, that’s adorable,” said Seth. He grabbed Zane’s hand. “Isn’t that adorable?”

Zane raised an eyebrow at me. “Did you get any?”

“Zane,” scolded Seth.

I laughed. “I’ve slept with Jimmy before. I asked him out so we could get to know each other better. It wasn’t about sex. It was about seeing if we liked each other without sex.”

“Awww,” said Seth. What do you think now that you know each other better? Is love brewing?”

“It’s a little early to use the l-word,” I said quickly. “But yeah, I like him. A lot.” I turned to the espresso machine to warm it up for the first coffees of the day. Glittery snowflake stickers adorned the green metal shell. “And I feel sad for him. His parents are… not great. I’m trying to convince him to come here for Christmas, but I’m not sure he will. He’s shy.”

“He should hang out with Maya more,” said Zane. “She can bring anyone out of their shell.”

“Even for her, it would be difficult. I don’t know if Jimmy has ever had real friends before.”

Seth’s eyebrows turned down at the sides. His eyes darkened with pity. “We’ll be his friends.”

“He’s intimidated by you.”

“Intimidated by us?” said Zane.

“We’re harmless,” protested Seth.

“You’re terrifying,” I said. “When I first met you, I thought you were way out of my friendship league.”

“And now you’re our friend,” Seth reminded me.

Our machine was ready to spurt out its first espresso of the day. “That’s because- That’s because you’re great people.” I laughed. “I’ll try to get Jimmy to see it. But it will be hard. His twenty-first is on Christmas Day so he’ll be even more reclusive than usual.”

After that, it was too loud to hear what the others were saying. The espresso machine growled loudly and mechanically. It was customary that whoever opened would have the first coffees of the day, partly to check that the machine was working, partly because we needed the caffeine. This place was great, but a day in the service industry was a day in the service industry, and those days were long.

I made black coffee for Zane and Seth and piled sugar into my foamy cappuccino. I had no shame about liking things sickly sweet.

“Here you go,” I said, carefully placing the coffees in front of my bosses and sitting across from them.

Seth took a sip of his espresso. “You’re getting better at this every day,” he told me warmly.

I glowed with pride.

“We made a decision while you were making coffee,” said Zane.

“Oh?” I took a sip of my cappuccino. Seth was right. I was getting better at this.

“We’re going to celebrate Jimmymas this year,” said Seth.

Zane smirked. “Jimmymas,” he repeated.

“Are you guys kidding, or…?” It sounded like a joke, but with Seth and Zane, you could never tell. Seth was a master of doing the unexpected, and Zane was so dryly sarcastic I wasn’t sure if I should believe half of what came out of his mouth.

“He was born on Christmas Day, right?” said Zane.

I nodded.

“Then we’re for real,” said Zane.

“For real for real?” I clarified.

“Yes,” said Seth. He met my eyes firmly. “This year, Agenda will be celebrating Jimmymas.”

“But you don’t even know Jimmy.”

“We know he has no family for the holidays, and that’s what we’re here for,” said Zane. “I know how that feels.”

“Guys in Jimmy’s situation are the reason we’re opening on December 25th,” said Seth.

“I’ll talk to him,” I said.

After that, a pause hung limply in the air, the weight of our serious conversation still heavy around us as we scrambled for a lighthearted subject change.

“So…” said Zane at last. “You didn’t even get a blowjob after your date?”

“Not even a blowjob,” I confirmed, laugh. “Jimmy walked me home, we kissed, and that was it.”

“That’s so romantic,” said Seth. “Much more romantic than our story, Zane.”

Zane rolled his eyes. “Casual sex can be romantic.”

“Yeah, it can,” I said. “But I want to know if Jimmy and I can make an emotional connection before we bang this time.”

“And can you?”

“I think so.” I sighed. “I really like him.”

“Why’d you stop seeing him the first time?” asked Seth. When I paused, he continued. “You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I-” I shook my head and sipped my drink. “It’s really dumb. I made a mistake.”

“We’ve all made mistakes,” said Seth.

“I started to like him,” I confessed. “Really like him. And I didn’t want to deal with my feelings. You probably know what that’s like… I’d just left home, and I wanted to have the real college experience. Lots of no-strings-attached sex. But Jimmy made me want more.”

“So you ran away?” said Zane.

“I ran away as fast as my little legs could take me.”

“And now you have a second chance.” Seth beamed.

“I hope so.”

“Does Jimmy want more than a hookup this time too?” asked Zane.

“He went on a real date with me.”

“But have you two talked about it?” said Seth.

“Well, no. But-”

“You should talk about it,” said Zane. “Secrets and relationships don’t mix.”

Seth nodded sagely.

“What are you, my dads?”

“We’re your friends,” said Seth. “And we’re giving you some advice.”

“Okay,” I said. “Okay, I’ll tell him that I want a relationship, okay?” It felt strange to say those words out loud: I want a relationship. It hadn’t been something I’d wanted until very recently, but now that I thought about it, the desire was consuming.

“Good. When’s your next date?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him since Sunday.”

Seth and Zane exchanged scandalized glances. “You haven’t even messaged him?” said Zane.

“Should I have messaged him?” I said. I was out of my depths with this dating thing. “I thought you were supposed to wait three days-”

“Rules like that belong in tabloid articles written by boring straight people,” said Seth. “We have a zero tolerance policy at Agenda for heteronormative bullshit.”

Zane was hiding a smile, looking at Seth with affectionate amusement. “Also,” he chimed in, “this is the 21st century.”

“I don’t know how dating works in any century,” I muttered.

“It’s a good thing you’ve got us, then,” said Seth. “Text him now.”

“Right now? It’s before seven in the morning.”

“Yes. Right now.”

“If you say so,” I said doubtfully. “But if I’m coming on too strong…”

“Trust me, that’s not your problem here,” said Zane.

I pulled out my phone and began typing out a message.

Hey, it’s Cole.

I backspaced immediately. Jimmy knew it was Cole. He had my number saved.

Hey,

I glanced up at Seth and Zane. “What am I supposed to say?”

“The truth,” said Zane.

“That you had a good time on your date and you want to see him again.”

Hey, I had a good time on our date, and I want to see you again.

I showed the message to Seth and Zane.

“No,” said Seth immediately. “I’m not the most suave man on the planet, but-”

Zane snorted.

“-as my charming partner can attest to. But even I know that’s a terrible message.”

“I’m bad at messaging!” I protested. “When I text guys, I usually just say ‘sup?’”

“Have you ever been in a relationship before?” asked Seth gently.

“Well-” I averted my eyes and stared at a stain on the wooden floor. “I tried a couple months ago, and it lasted about three weeks. But we never actually went on a date. We were more like monogamous fuck buddies.”

“So, you’ve never been in a relationship before.”

“Not technically, I suppose.”

“You must do better in person than over text,” said Seth. “That date you described on Sunday sounds pretty great.”

“In person, I can use my charm,” I said with a wry smile.

“Hmm.” A cheeky smile flashed over Seth’s face. “How could you get the chance to see Jimmy in person to follow up?”

“Well, December now, and this place doesn’t have much holiday cheer,” said Zane with a smirk.

“We need to find more colors for our tinsel pride flags,” said Seth, and now he was smiling broadly at me.

“A specialty store might have more options,” said Zane.

I blanched. “You two are going to send me to MerryMart, aren’t you?”

“Is Jimmy working today?”

“Yes.” He barely ever got time off.

“Then we are absolutely going to send you to MerryMart. What time does he start?”

I groaned, but I still couldn’t help smiling at the thought of seeing Jimmy again.