Antoinette was in complete shock. That was just... plain inappropriate. It was uncivilized. She was engaged. He was soon to be engaged. She was in her bed, the door wide open so anyone could have seen. She leaned in and kissed him back, feeling her heart beating hard and fast in her chest.

As their lips parted the second time, Antoinette, face glowing red, turned and looked away. She heard Mr. Perry sigh softly and, out of the corner of her eye, saw he was blushing and smiling. She smiled too. She needed this. She needed his love and his touch. His company alone would not do and she had been a fool to think it would.

She would stall for as long as she possibly could. That way she had at least a chance of ending up with Mr. Perry legitimately. But sitting there, having felt his lips on hers, she knew there was no going back.

“You ought to leave,” she said softly.

“I shall. But I shall not stay away. I wish to visit you.”

Antoinette paused, then shook her head. “No, that cannot be. Not after all we have just said, all that has happened... we must endeavour not to see one another in private at all. And in public as little as possible.”

Mr. Perry fell silent, stood up, and adjusted his coat. “Very well... I shall visit your parents tomorrow,” he replied.

Antoinette felt her jaw drop as he walked out the door. That was the most confident, the most decisive she had ever seen Mr. Perry. And, irritated though she was at his blatant disregard for her concerns, she found it exciting to see how passionate he was about her. He was willing to risk being discovered, to put their entire plan in jeopardy, just to spend more time with her.

She hoped that it would all work out. That he would become a Duke, that Duke Godwin could be dismissed without too much bad blood.

Lucy.

Antoinette felt a pang of guilt. Lucy... Mr. Perry may have no true love for Lucy, but it was clear that Lucy was, however, still infatuated with Mr. Perry. Lucy believed he was the greatest man she had ever met, unparalleled, that she would never encounter someone she could possibly love so much. Of course, Lucy was naïve, and wrong about many things. But that did not change the fact that she was in love with Mr. Perry, or at least with her own impression of Mr. Perry. And for Antoinette and Mr. Perry to marry would hurt her deeply.

Hurting Duke Godwin was one thing. Antoinette knew him well enough to understand that his expectations of her as a wife were not at all reflective of who she was as a human. She knew that he would be just as miserable as her in that marriage eventually. But to hurt Lucy...

Lucy was a gentle soul. She was sweet and kind and naïve. And just because she did not understand Mr. Perry did not mean she was not capable of loving him. It was entirely possible that even after he opened up, even as she got to know him, Lucy would have fallen even further in love with him. And Antoinette was about to deprive her of that.

“Are you alright? You look quite... morose,” Lady Byrd said from the doorway, causing Antoinette to jump in her skin.

She shook her head. “Why does life have to be so complicated, mother?” she asked quietly.

“It simply is,” Lady Byrd replied, walking over to her daughter's bedside. “But it does not need to be complex in a bad way. Often the things we consider the most convoluted and confusing are the most beautiful at their core. What is troubling you?”

Antoinette sighed. She felt compelled to tell her mother everything. But... could she?

All along, she had feared her mother. She had respected her, and looked up to her, of course. Lady Byrd was exactly the sort of woman she had always wanted to be as a child. But nevertheless she had feared her. Her parents had never been particularly strict, they had never punished her in a way that had left her reeling with physical or emotional pain, they had always given her cause to trust and love them. But precisely in that she had found fear.

She had been afraid of their social power. Of their place above her. Of their ability to enact restraint when she would not, to use good judgement when she could not, to make the right decision when she did not. They had been the parents, and she had been the little child.

But now, looking up into Lady Byrd's understanding eyes, Antoinette felt a different emotion. She was no longer a little girl. She understood about restraint and good judgement and making tough decisions. She had done much of this already. She was the adult now. And she had no reason to fear her mother's adulthood.

Instead, she felt her mother's overwhelming love radiating outwards, embracing her, uplifting her. She had done well to get so far on her own. But to want to cling to secrecy and independence, even at a time like this, was still a childish thing. If she truly wished to transcend as a woman and mature, she had to acknowledge that sometimes it was not a bad thing to rely on others, or to trust them.

“I... I believe I am in love with Mr. Perry,” she said. She felt the anticipated stab of fear and guilt as she said this. But she also felt an immense relief, as though a huge stone had been lifted from her shoulders.

“I know,” Lady Byrd replied.

Antoinette looked up into her mother's loving eyes. “I suppose... I knew you knew,” she said with a meek smile.

“It was pretty obvious, you two,” Lady Byrd continued. “But... it is a difficult situation. And one which, had you been able to handle it alone, might have been for the best.”

Antoinette shook her head. “No, it is not difficult. It was. But it is not any more. For now.”

Lady Byrd raised an eyebrow.

“Mr. Perry has said he might inherit a Duchy. The Duchy of Devonshire. If he does not, then neither he nor I would gain anything from marrying one another, and we would do best to never meet again,” she elaborated.

From her eyes Antoinette could tell that every word was being taken in and scrutinized.

“If he does inherit the Duchy, then it would be no great insult to Duke Godwin for me to break off our engagement in favour of a more powerful Duke. He may be heartbroken, but it would not much affect his status, and he would not need to retaliate against us,” Antoinette concluded.

Lady Byrd paused, and when Antoinette said no more, she uttered four words: “And what of Lucy?”

Antoinette sighed. “That is why I said there is no difficulty for now... I believe Lucy is still deeply in love with Mr. Perry. And I fear that she may never stop loving him.”

“Does he love her?” Lady Byrd replied.

“No, but... he was considering her as a marriage prospect because she is his best opportunity in his present situation. And I fear that realization will hurt her as well. She... She has not been fortunate yet. She has not had much experience. I do not wish to disillusion her so suddenly,” Antoinette said with another deep sigh.

Lady Byrd sat back in her chair and hummed to herself a little as she mulled the situation over. Antoinette felt as though she were waiting for her fortune to be told. She sat dead still, anticipating her mother's next words.

“You and Mr. Perry love one another, do you not?” Lady Byrd asked.

Antoinette nodded.

“And both of you are considering a marriage for more practical purposes should this Duchy not be rightfully his?” she continued.

Antoinette nodded again.

“Then I suppose the only solutions are to either keep Lucy in the dark, as with Duke Godwin, until such a time as you know what to do next... or for him to gently dissuade her, so that the severance is not so harsh should he become Duke,” Lady Byrd concluded.

“Is there no way of sparing her feelings?” Antoinette asked.

“There is never a way of sparing someone's feelings,” Lady Byrd replied. “Feelings happen. They change. They get hurt. Such is life. Were she to marry him, eventually she would find out about your love, or his true motives for marrying her, and her feelings would be hurt then too.”

“Do you think I will lose a friend?” she asked.

“Possibly,” Lady Byrd replied. “But you would lose her as a friend eventually either way, if she is that way inclined. Perhaps you would rarely see her for fear of meeting her husband. Perhaps he would break her heart. Perhaps she would resent you for not warning her. In my opinion, if she is a true friend she will not blame you for Mr. Perry's feelings or actions, and you may be able to remain amiable.”

“But I do not want our relationship to change at all,” Antoinette said, fully aware of how childish she sounded.

“It already has,” Lady Byrd replied.

It was too much. Antoinette felt tears beginning to stream down her face. She felt the bed move as her mother sat herself down beside the pillows and, pulling Antoinette into a hug, gently stroked her head.

She had barely got her friend back and already things were different. She understood that in some ways they would have to be. That people changed and grew. But it felt so strange, and so wrong, to leave their childhood behind her. It felt like only yesterday that they had been little girls playing in each other's backyards, reading romantic stories, and daydreaming about their perfect weddings. But now that chapter in her life was coming to a close.

She wept in sorrow for all that she was losing. She wept out of nostalgia for her own childhood. She wept in fear for the future's uncertainties. She wept in joy for all the wonders life had brought her, in the form of such wonderful men as Mr. Perry and Duke Godwin, of her dear friend Lucy, her cousin Mary, and her loving mother.

After crying a while, she felt much better. She felt resolved. She felt strong.

“Is that any easier?” her mother asked softly, still stroking her head.

Antoinette sat upright and accepted the handkerchief her mother passed her.

“Remember, it is not strength to never feel these things. It is strength to carry oneself with dignity and to do the right thing in spite of them,” her mother said. “Crying in one's own room is more than acceptable.”

Antoinette laughed a little. “That is good to know... And mother?”

“Yes?” Lady Byrd asked, handing Antoinette the glass of water from her bedside table.

“If we are to wait and see what is to do with Mr. Perry and the Duchy of Devonshire, then we may need to delay my wedding to Duke Godwin. And to do so as inconspicuously as possible,” she explained.

“Then your sudden recovery is...”

“I was not ill,” Antoinette admitted with a slight blush. “But I need you to continue to persuade Duke Godwin that I am too unwell to continue with the wedding arrangements, at least until I know whether or not Mr. Perry will become a Duke himself.”

“I shall do all I can for you,” she said, hugging Antoinette tenderly. “Now, sit back and I will ensure that you get ample warning before anyone comes to visit.”

“But how can I persuade them I am truly ill?” Antoinette asked warily.

“Just lay there, act as though you were exhausted, and do not wear any makeup,” Lady Byrd said.

“You sound experienced in these matters,” Antoinette said.

Lady Byrd just smiled knowingly. “I shall ask for some tea and sandwiches to be brought to you.”

It was not long before Duke Godwin returned, although to Antoinette, stuck in her bed and not ill enough to nap the entire time, it felt like an eternity. In part, she was immediately grateful when his name was announced. But she also knew that she needed to act disinterested and exhausted, and could not afford to be openly sociable or excitable, lest she ruin her plans.

Duke Godwin despaired slightly as he showed her a few different artificial flowers. “Are you absolutely certain you cannot choose between them?” he asked. “Even narrow it down to a few you like?”

Antoinette shook her head. “I am so tired, and I am not sure I am seeing the colours properly. My head is spinning.”

Duke Godwin frowned and looked at the flowers once more. “Then perhaps we ought to discuss your dress...” he offered hesitantly.

“I am sorry, but I am far too ill to see to that,” Antoinette insisted.

Duke Godwin sat back in the chair and dropped the flowers on the floor. “Antoinette, at this rate we will not be able to marry by Christmas,” he said.

“I am not sure it would be wise to try and stick to a schedule, given that I am ill,” she replied.

Duke Godwin nodded in agreement, then sighed. “I suppose I was getting a little ahead of myself. It is only that... I had all but given up on marriage. So few women seemed to meet my standards, and those that did were not interested in me, for their own reasons. And you appeared and... you gave me hope.”

Antoinette smiled, but felt intensely guilty. It was not Duke Godwin's fault that he loved his impression of her any more than it was Lucy's fault she loved her own impression of Mr. Perry. But, unlike with Lucy and Mr. Perry where Antoinette was pretty certain they simply did not know one another very well, she knew she had been misleading Duke Godwin. And she knew that, were Mr. Perry to never become a Duke, then she would have to continue to mislead him.

And she could not. She could not spend her entire life pretending to be the woman Duke Godwin desired. If Mr. Perry would never become a Duke then... they would just have to elope in secret, and move to live somewhere where they would never be found again.