Chapter 10
“I think I’m going to take some kickboxing classes,” Annie said as they were catching their breath after a particularly hard round of trying to get out of a headlock. “I feel exhausted after each session, but also good, you know? I kinda like kicking ass. And I kinda like watching Nate’s ass, too,” she added in a whisper.
Madison laughed, taking a small sip of water and coating the inside of her mouth with the cold liquid. “I can see the appeal, but I really don’t live close by so… I think this will be it for me.”
“It’s hard to find good self-defense classes at a reasonable price. They’re always full weeks in advance. I got lucky, I was on the waiting list, and they called me a couple days before the first class, saying they had found a new volunteer and could add a few more people. I like the gym, I don’t live too far away, and I know my lazy couch potato ass will never subscribe to another gym. I’ve gotten into the habit now, might as well work on it.”
“Maybe I’ll miss it and join you eventually?”
“I hope so. We made a good team. But I would totally get it if you preferred to spend your Saturday mornings snuggling with your man.”
Madison blinked. Her man? Oh. Right. “Guilty as charged!” she said with a small laugh, mentally snorting as she remembered that her last snuggling session had involved a hot water bottle to soothe some cramps.
“It’s obvious you guys are smitten, too. He seems like one of the good ones. I have to admit that at first, I was a little surprised. You look very young, he looks very… top executive. But once I got to know you, it made a lot more sense.”
Madison nodded, not really listening to anything past the “it’s obvious you guys are smitten.” Since when were they smitten? They had pretended to be girlfriend and boyfriend, yeah, but apart from Ben’s ridiculous pet names or arm over her shoulders, they had played it cool. No one had questioned anything either because self-defense classes were not exactly the spot where you expect PDA anyway. Plus, no one knew them.
“Sweetheart, can you help me with this thing?” The one she was just thinking about interrupted her thoughts. He had gotten rid of the protective helmet but some of the padding was tied in the back. “It’s hotter than the inside of Lucifer’s butthole in here.”
“Speaking from experience?” Annie asked with a giggle.
“Ha ha. And no.”
Madison helped him get rid of the extra layers of protection, trying to ignore every groan of relief that escaped him with each item off his back.
“I hope we weren’t too harsh on you. I promise, Madison, we went easy on him.”
“Easy?!” Ben squeaked, lifting his arms while Madison tried to help him out of the last padding. “Babycakes, they went at it like I was the last pair of balls they would ever have the chance to kick.”
“For our own sake, let’s all wish that’s true,” Annie said.
“True that,” Ben agreed with a nod before throwing his sweaty arm over Madison’s shoulders.
“Well, guys, this is it,” Nate said in a booming voice, attracting everyone’s attention. “I hope these past few weeks were instructive to you. We do have other classes, more advanced, for the few of you who told me they might be interested. My grandma will walk you through the process if you have any questions. If you need advice about your level and what kind of martial art training would fit you, we can talk about it privately as well. You all have my email address, and you can also reach me on our Facebook page.”
“And your phone number?” one of the youngest girls asked, falling into a giggle fit with her friends.
“Ah,” Nate huffed out, resting his hands on his waist, dropping his head forward with a smile. “I’m a professional, ladies.”
“Damn,” Annie grumbled.
“But on this note, I want you to give yourself a round of applause. You’ve earned it.”
Loud clapping echoed across the room and Annie hugged her. “We’re badass, now.”
“We are.”
“Hey, what about me?” Ben whined.
“Sorry.” Annie pulled away. “She’s all yours.”
Judging by the way Ben’s face changed from teasing to taken off guard, Madison understood he had been trying to sneak into a girl hug, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his demise. Hugging him, she whispered in his ear, “Now that will teach you.”
He dropped a wet kiss on her cheek. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem so bad.”
“Talk for yourself, sweaty butt.”
He grinned, his chin dropping as a reluctant laugh escaped him. “Close enough.”
She was blow-drying her hair when Annie left, with the promise to meet for brunch by the end of the month. With her hair so long, she always avoided washing it at the gym, but the session had been intense, and she hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of a thorough, cleansing shower.
Ben would just have to wait a little longer. Not that he would mind, since he was probably scarfing down the cookies Martha often brought for the group.
When she joined him, he was deep in talk with Nate, though.
“Hey, sunshine,” Ben welcomed her with a grin, his eyes traveling to her hair with what almost looked like longing. It was particularly shiny and smooth after being freshly washed and for a second, she almost thought he was going to run his fingers through it. “You ready?”
“Yup.” She dropped her duffle bag on the floor, buttoning her coat and digging for her scarf. Fall was there, and the weather was crisp and cold now.
“Anyway, I gotta go. Say hi to Ian for me and tell the fucker he’d better get his ass here one of these days. He keeps sending me people, but I could use a good instructor every now and then too.”
“You know Ian?” Madison asked in surprise.
Ben pinched his lips, his jaw tightening for a second before he turned to face her. “We should go. I’m starving.”
Nate laughed. “Of course, I do. He’s the one who sent you here, isn’t he?”
OK. That… didn’t make sense. At all. “Ian asked Ben to volunteer? Why didn’t he do it himself?”
Nate’s eyes went from her to Ben, his face turning hesitant. “Because you wouldn’t have been as comfortable…?”
“Nate…” Ben said with a shake of his head.
“But maybe we’re not talking about the same thing,” Nate finished hesitantly. “Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving, and Madison feel free to come back anytime. I think we have a few classes you would enjoy.”
She watched as he left in a hurry, and his behavior was the confirmation she needed. He was a man running away from a woman about to get pissed.
“Ben…?”
His sigh was long and ragged, the sound of a guy who knew he had a few things to explain and didn’t really want to.
“Let’s go have breakfast, Madison. We’ll talk then.”
“No. Why do I feel like I’m the butt of a joke here?”
“You’re not-” He paused, shaking his head once again, frustration in his eyes. “You’re not the butt of a joke, Madison.”
“No, but I’m definitely out of the loop about something that seems to be about me. Am I wrong?”
He stayed silent, and that silence, so unusual, so revealing, brought her temper to the surface. “Ben? Am I wrong?” she hissed through gritted teeth.
“I know something happened to you in London,” he eventually said, not meeting her eyes.
That, she hadn’t expected. “What?” was the only word she managed to breathe out.
“That night.”
The night when she had gotten so drunk that her brain was mostly blank about what happened after midnight. “Did we…”
“No. No! I swear, Madison, nothing happened, I didn’t lie.”
“About that. You didn’t lie about that.”
A group of men walked in, their loud and cheerful voices feeling like a bucket of ice-cold water on her shoulders.
“We can’t talk here,” Ben said. “Come on.”
She followed him because he was right, they couldn’t talk there.
It was only when they were both seated in his car, the heater on, that he turned to face her again. “Listen-”
“Does Ian know?”
“I asked him for advice but that’s all, I swear that’s all.”
“Oh my God. Does everybody know about… It’s private, Ben! How could you… it’s private!” she repeated, feeling her throat constrict, her stomach seemingly climbing up her esophagus.
“No one knows, Madison. I promise you, no one knows.”
“Was this a joke for you? This whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing?” She gasped, remembering what Annie had told her. “You were the guy who volunteered at the last minute, right? Was that so there would be a spot for me?!”
Ben pulled on the lobe of his ear. “I told Ian one of my co-workers was looking for good self-defense classes. He gave me Nate’s phone number, but the next session was full. He was wondering why I was insisting so much and… I couldn’t exactly say you had passed out in my apartment and told me things that I shouldn’t have known. I didn’t want to tell anyone anything specific so… I said you were my girlfriend, and I was nervous about you working late or some crap I don’t even remember. He told me his class was full but if I volunteered, he could add you and a few others as well. So, I did.”
“So, no one asked you to help.”
“No.”
“You went behind my back, talked to Ian and Nate about me and…”
“They don’t know anything, Madison. Ian doesn’t even know I was talking about you!”
“What happens when he sees Nate? You still think it won’t come up?”
“They don’t really know each other. They only meet like once a year for the Independence Day picnic the police station organizes. Nate is a former cop and he opened a gym, and that’s why Ian knew about him. He’s often recommended him to women who… who…”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Betrayal. That’s what she felt. She felt played. She had always known Ben was a player, and yeah, he was fun. But this… this was a scheme he had pulled in order to… she didn’t even know why.
“Why didn’t you just… ask me instead of… this whole thing?”
“I tried. I asked you about England and you closed up and… fuck, Madison, I have no idea how to broach that kind of topic. I didn’t want to go to someone you knew either because it felt wrong but… damn, it was so obvious something wasn’t right with you. You drank way more than usual, you were fidgety, you closed up when I asked you how it had been. I never ever heard you snap at anyone before either, and you did, several times. I couldn’t get it out of my head, and I figured self-defense is always useful, even if I was completely reading into things. When you startled when I grabbed your arm to get into O’Malley’s, I knew I was right. Something was off. I just wanted to help, OK?”
“Am I some kind of pet project for you? You can’t stand to see a woman unhappy, is that what this is all about? Another play from Ben Ackerman?”
“What the fuck… No!”
Shaking her head, she opened the car door. She had to get out of there. There was a bubbling mess of emotions rising in her chest, something making her see red and turning her brain blank at the same time. She couldn’t even pinpoint exactly what was making her freak out so much, but the sense of duplicity she felt wasn’t something she could disregard. It had been fake from the start, under the pretense of playing the hero, being the knight in shining armor. She felt her trust was violated somehow.
“Madison, wait!” he yelled, when she slammed the door closed and took off toward the subway station. Luckily, she knew exactly where it was since she had come by public transport the very first time she had come here.
It didn’t escape her mind how both times were a perfect mirror. She had gone to him, unaware. She was leaving him, full of a knowledge she would rather not have.