Chapter 21
Ben softly knocked on the door, then waited patiently. Everyone had been drilled about how they shouldn’t use the bell anymore, for the risk of waking up the newest addition to the family.
When Christopher opened the door, he barely glanced at him.
“Come on in. I’m ready to go, just need to grab a jacket.”
Ben stared at his best friend’s chest as he carefully slipped a jacket on. “What the hell is that thing?”
Christopher looked down. “That thing is your godson in his sling,” he explained slowly.
“But… you said men’s day out?”
“He’s a boy, you know.” Chris grabbed his keys and shoved a baby bag in Ben’s hands.
“He can’t hold his penis, Chris. That kinda disqualifies him.”
Christopher tilted his head.
“OK, OK,” Ben relented, lifting his hands up. “Just how are you gonna handle a baby and-”
“Everything he might need is in this bag. We’ll be good. Listen, Everleigh could use a break. You know she started going back to work this week and even though Jonathan now sleeps longer blocks of time during the night, it’s still an adjustment. She definitely needs an extra couple hours of sleep, and as soon as he starts wailing, her mommy instincts wake her up even if it’s my turn.”
Ben winced, feeling guilty. He hadn’t realized it had been so hard on Everleigh. He made a mental note to help them out a little more, even if he had no clue what to do with a baby. “Oh. Alright. So… where are we going? I guess the strip club is out of the equation now.”
“Because I would have totally gone even if my kid wasn’t with us,” Christopher deadpanned.
“A man can dream.”
“He’s growing like a weed and could use some new clothes. There is a great store not far away and-”
What the… shopping? They were gonna go shopping for a men’s day out??
Christopher eventually noticed Ben had stopped walking, glued to his spot by the shock. Turning around he looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”
“You… you want to go baby shopping?”
“Everleigh buys everything with nerd stuff. Star Wars, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, you name it. I just want a few outfits that don’t scream ‘my mommy is a geek and my dad can’t say no to her,’ you know?”
“Or... crazy idea, I know but… you could tell her no.”
Christopher stared at him, frowning for a second before a large smile took over. “Yeah, good one.”
Ben chuckled, shaking his head. It was common knowledge that Chris was physically incapable of saying no to Everleigh. “She’s had the kid now, dude. The whole pregnant thing doesn’t hold anymore.”
“Apparently, she mastered the puppy eyes during her pregnancy.”
“You know if one day I get a girlfriend, the whole pout thingy won’t work with me,” Ben boasted. He’d never be the one on the receiving end of the pouting. “I am the one who gives puppy eyes, not the other way around. You have to establish things from the start, man. You obviously failed with Evie, but I’m gonna learn from your mistakes.”
Christopher snorted. “One day, a girl is gonna bring you down a peg or two, Ackerman. And I’ll be sipping a fine scotch when it happens.”
“I can’t believe I’m carrying your bags,” Ben grumbled as they finally left the last store, about two hours later.
“Says the one who bought half of this stuff,” Christopher replied with a smirk, letting Jonathan grab his finger.
He was starting to get fussy, after being adorably cute and silent for the last two hours. Chris stopped in front of a small restaurant. “Lunch good for you? Jonathan is getting hungry.”
“He’s hungry? But-”
“But?”
“He needs boobies, not a steakhouse, Chris,” he blurted out. “We’re never gonna find boobies in a place called Walter’s Grill!”
“Everleigh’s been pumping, idiot.”
Ben blinked. Wow. That was some… stuff he didn’t know about. “She pumps her breasts?”
“Well, yes. How else do you think we feed him when she’s at work?”
“You mean… with a device or something? Or… never mind, don’t answer, I’m not sure I wanna know.”
“Yes, with a device. It’s like a suction cup really and there is-”
“Stop. Now I’m sure I don’t wanna know.”
There really were some things better left unknown. It was physically painful to picture a woman torturing her poor boobies that way.
They were barely seated when Jonathan’s wails started to gain in volume. They had given the hostess his bottle to heat up as soon as they been guided to their table, but he was apparently already running out of patience.
“I know, I know. You’re hungry,” Christopher said softly as he picked his son up from his sling. He gently rubbed his back in soothing circles, trying to calm down the little boy, but Jonathan knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t a back rub.
The hostess came back with the bottle just as the waitress arrived to take their order. Too busy trying to calm down Jonathan, Christopher hadn’t even opened his menu. “Ben, can you…?” he asked as he settled Jonathan in his arms to feed him.
“Yup. We’ll have two steaks, medium-rare, one with a side of fries, the other with mashed potatoes, and both with greens. Could we also have a Caesar salad? And two sparkling waters, please.”
Jonathan was already suckling hungrily when he gave the menus back to the waitress, Christopher’s attention fully on his son. It made Ben smile to see his best friend so obviously taken by his child. Christopher had always been a little skittish when it came to kids and the commitment they involved. Being responsible for his little sister when he wasn’t even done with college, and all the mistakes that had come with that responsibility, had made him more than wary of having his own.
Well… the fact that he was still in love with his high school crush had also played a gigantic part in his inability to see himself going down that road with someone else.
“Can you give me a bib? Front pocket,” Christopher said distractedly after a few minutes. “There is also a burp cloth somewhere.”
Ben carefully placed the small square of fabric underneath Jonathan’s chin then the cloth on Christopher’s lap, feeling as domestic as Caroline Ingalls.
“If you had told me a year ago that my best friend would be sitting with me and feeding his son in a restaurant on a Saturday afternoon…”
“I know.” Christopher chuckled quietly, his eyes never leaving the baby in his arms. “I had no idea back then. But Everleigh and Jonathan… they’re my whole life now. I can’t even believe I used to think I’d never want kids.”
Ben laughed. “You know… I never told you but… dude, you were so made to be a dad, it’s not even funny. The funny part was you being so oblivious to it.”
“What?” Christopher lifted his head in surprise.
“Come on. The way you are with Mia?”
“She’s my little sister.”
“Yeah, and when your parents died, you automatically stepped up as a parent figure for her. It’s as natural as breathing for you. You were always helping the younger players at school too.” They had been on the same hockey team, and it was still one of the best memories of his high school years. Going to practice together, being the perfect teammates on the ice, the parties, the training camps, the nerve-wracking games, and the celebrations… he had loved those moments.
“That’s… where is that even coming from? You always said you couldn’t wait until we hit sixty and became a pair of old bachelors heading to Vegas twice a year.”
“For a while, I thought that was gonna happen. You were always a one-woman type of guy, Chris. Except, in your case, that one woman had been decided a while ago, and you would have never gone down that road with anybody else but her. It’s not that you didn’t want kids, Chris. It’s that you didn’t want kids without Everleigh.” Ben paused as the waitress brought their food. He waited until she was gone to conclude. “Anyway, all I’m saying is that I think you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”
“What about you, then? Are you also exactly where you’re supposed to be?” Christopher asked, his tone serious.
Ben shrugged, ignoring the knot that instantly appeared in the pit of his stomach. Lately, he had been struggling with a lot of things, mostly how he saw his life and how he used to see it. He was changing, or something around him was changing, and he didn’t know exactly what. “I guess so.”
“You don’t want to have a family one day?”
“You know I’m the kind of man that should probably stay alone.”
“You mean responsible, loyal, trustworthy? That kind of man?”
“I meant a player, sexy as hell, great in bed thirty-something with mommy issues.”
Jonathan pushed the bottle back with a whine, and Chris put it down on the table, straightening him against his shoulder. He patted the little boy’s back while staring at Ben with serious eyes. Chris knew everything about him and his mom, even if he never talked about it.
Except… except with Madison. Something that he still didn’t understand. Why had he confided in her, and why had it been so easy to do?
“Ben…”
“Hey, it’s all good.” He quickly ate a few bites, then pushed his plate away. “Hand me the crustacea, your food is going to be cold.”
“He has to be burped,” Chris warned him.
“Yeah well, I’m a guy, I know all about burps.”
Christopher waited until Ben’s shoulder was covered with the burp cloth before handing him his son.
“Woah, buddy. You’re getting heavy.” Ben started to gently pat his back. “He’s growing up nicely, isn’t he?”
Christopher nodded, his mouth full. He was eating at the speed of light, apparently a newly found - but extremely necessary - parenting skill. He swallowed, then eyed him sternly with his fork pointing at him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how you tried to change the subject. I know you don’t like talking about it, but we didn’t choose you as godfather by mistake. So if you’re happy single and childless, that’s great. But if something is holding you back, then it’s bullshit. Don’t repeat my mistake.”
“It turned out all right in the end didn’t it?”
Christopher smiled. “It did. That doesn’t mean destiny didn’t have to push me in the right direction. Maybe you need that too.”
“God, you’re going to become one of those pain-in-the-ass parents, aren’t you?”
“Probably. But that’s not what I’m doing right now.”
“And what are you-” Ben paused, his eyebrows reaching his hairline at the loud burp that suddenly erupted from Jonathan. “Atta boy! I knew you had it in you, buddy!” He saw several heads turning to their table, and he exclaimed proudly, “My godson, ladies and gentlemen!”
A few laughs echoed in the restaurant, then everyone went back to their lunch as Chris shook his head with a roll of his eyes.
“What I’m doing is trying to make you understand that, sometimes, it’s good to reevaluate certain life choices. And to keep an open mind about what the future might hold,” Christopher eventually answered the question Ben hadn’t finished.
“I don’t know what-”
“You know exactly what, or rather who, I’m talking about.”
Ben frowned. He hadn’t told anyone about Madison.
“Madison,” Chris eventually said slowly. “You think Everleigh didn’t notice the way you were looking at her on New Year’s Eve?”
“She told you?”
“No details. Apparently, she thinks it goes against some code, which is bullshit by the way. We live together now, and you’re my best friend.”
“Well, I, for one, agree with her. Just because you guys live together doesn’t mean that you should share inside knowledge. Violet didn’t even tell Ian that Everleigh was expecting!”
“Fine, side with her if you want. The thing is, there is something going on between you and Madison, right?”
Christopher knew him well. It was pointless to even try to lie to him. “It’s complicated.”
“Then un-complicate it.”
“She… well, we don’t really know where we’re heading. It’s simple and easy right now, and we’re happy with that. I’m not the kind of guy for long-term, she knows it, and it’s better if we keep things low-key.”
Christopher shook his head, exhaling a long breath. “Dude. I’m not saying Madison is the love of your life, or that you’re the love of hers. But I haven’t seen you hit on a chick in forever, and something is telling me you haven’t had a one-night-stand in quite a while either. Maybe you should dig a little into that before pretending things are low-key.”
“I don’t want to screw up with her,” Ben admitted quietly, leaning in to breathe in Jonathan’s baby scent. Damn. That was soothing as hell. He did it again before pressing a gentle kiss on his fuzzy head.
“And you think you eventually will,” Christopher finished his thought for him.
There was also the little fact that he knew he was the first guy Madison had gotten involved with since she had been assaulted. A part of him was concerned he was some kind of a rebound, a safe way for her to get back in the saddle so to speak.
“What if I’m not built to be responsible and all… adult-like, like you?”
“You’ve never tried before.”
“But that’s my whole point! I don’t want to give it a try with Madison, and then fuck things up because I’m clueless or unable to put someone else first! I know it’s not very obvious, but I can be a little conceited sometimes.”
Christopher paused, his glass of water halfway to his mouth. “Not very obv… never mind. My point is, you’ll never know if you’re built for a serious commitment if you never give it a try. And I know that whatever happens, you’ll never disrespect her or hurt her willingly, or anyone else for that matter. It’s just not in you.”