Chapter 18
Kadence
I'm made a fool out of myself. Coming here was a huge mistake, one I wish I'd never made. I don't know why I expected some partying beach guy to drop what he was doing in order to support me with keeping a child neither one of us know the first thing about raising.
I'm an only child. He still acts like one. Why I thought this would end well is beyond me.
What's worse is having to walk through the house and seeing half naked chicks giggling without a care in the world. That could have been my life.
I just can't believe this is happening to me. I worked so hard. It feels like my life is falling apart, but I have no one else to blame but myself.
I'm halfway down the street when I hear my name being called. I turn to find Caleb standing on the other side of the intersection from me. He's barefoot and waving his hands around like an air traffic controller.
Wiping away my newest tears, I watch him run through traffic like a crazy person.
Not knowing what's about to happen, a rush of emotions hits me. I don't want this guy to feel obligated. We had a one-night-stand. There is no right or wrong in this circumstance.
Now we're face to face and I haven't the faintest what I'm supposed to say.
Thunder rumbles followed by a flash of lightning. I hate storms. When I was a little girl lightning hit the tree next to my room. A limb came through window and scared the living crap out of me.
Caleb doesn't seem to be bothered. "You can't just show up and tell me something like that and then leave."
"I couldn't stay. Not while all that was going on. I probably shouldn't have come to see you. Let's just face the facts. We're strangers. We live in two different states. I'm pregnant. You're the father. It's not your problem though. Just forget it."
I'm trying to walk away, but he takes me by the arm and stops me. A light drizzle starts to fall around us. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm a selfish jackass who only ever cares about himself. Maybe I should put that in my bio so women know ahead of time." He shakes it off. "Sorry. Don't listen to me. I act a fool when I'm nervous."
“I was stupid for thinking you’d want to know.”
“Don’t say that.” He reaches his hand out to take mine. “Look, I know I can be a dickhead. I say the wrong things. I’m irresponsible. I’m probably the last person you’d want to have a kid with. That being said, I’m glad you told me. I don’t know what to think or say about it yet. This has never happened before. I’m so damn careful. One fucking mistake and this happens. It’s like a bad dream. Not that I’m saying a kid is a bad dream. I’ve got nieces and nephews. They’re cute and like them. I’m a good uncle, but being a dad, that’s different. I don’t even know if I can do it.”
Manufacturing a smile at this point is a waste of energy I no longer have. Instead my face contorts. “I get it.”
I’m starting to pull away again. People are looking at us, and the rain is coming down harder. I need to get as far away from him as I can. It’s not that I’m angry. On the contrary, I appreciate his honesty. He’s not being mean or lashing out calling me names. He’s simply admitting he’s not ready. I’m not either, but I guess because I’m the one carrying the child I’m going to have to be. “You have my number now. Even if it’s a year from now, or longer, you know how to find me.”
“I’ve slept with a lot of women, Kadence. You need to hear this. Please stop walking away. Hear me out.”
I turn, felling a bit disgusted with his statement. “Why would I want to know that?”
“Because. It’s important you hear this. It might not make sense to you, but it does to me. I’ve messed around with a lot of women, but none of them, not one stayed with me. I never thought about them again, not until I met you. I swear not a day has gone by where I didn’t think of you and wonder what you were doing. I’m not telling you this to make you feel like there’s something between us. I just think you need to know that.”
“It doesn’t help,” I admit. “I’m freaking out.”
Caleb looks up at the sky and smirks. “It’s like God is telling me not to fuck this up.”
I roll my eyes. “I highly doubt that.”
He looks down at my midriff. “A baby.”
Shrugging is all I can do. “Yeah.”
“I need to drink,” he admits.
“I wish I could.”
There’s an instant apology across his face. “Sorry, that was insensitive. Told you I’m not good at this.”
“It’s okay. If I could drink, I would be, trust me.”
“What happens now? How long are you staying on the island?”
“Two weeks, if my parents decide to stay now. You should have seen their faces. I’ve never felt like such a disappointment. This was supposed to be a special family vacation, and I ruined it.”
He finally sticks his hands in his pockets and shakes off shivers from the rain. “Want to get out of here?”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
This makes him laugh. “Wow, I really wasn’t thinking that.”
“Sorry. This is weird, right? We don’t know anything about each other.”
“Let me take you somewhere. It’s out of the weather, and quiet.”
“Another boat?”
“No. Not a boat. Just come with me.”
I don’t know why I trust him. Maybe I shouldn’t. I’m surprised he doesn’t hate me. Right now I’m so desperate for any sort of compassion it’s difficult to comprehend anything. “You sure you’re not taking me somewhere to kill me and hide the evidence?” Wouldn’t that be a great movie. One Night Stand Killer.
“You don’t get out much do you?”
“All right. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go, or even friends to comfort me.”
This causes him to reach up and touch my chin. I’m practically fall into it, needing support so much I’m willing to take it from this person I should’ve never contacted in the first place.