Chapter 22
Kadence
It only took a couple seconds before someone came outside and saw me sitting there. It took a couple more to realize I’m being a fool if I think I can make this work. Coop wasn’t nice at all. He stuck his head out the door and told Evie not to let me come in unless I planned on showing him my tits. The thought still makes me cringe when I imagine someone like that being around my child. Even if Caleb does everything he says he’s going to do, I can’t trust the rest of his friends and family to feel the same way.
We don’t have enough to go on to make this work.
Evie sealed the deal for me. She came outside and introduced herself before asking if I was seeing Caleb. Not knowing what to say, I told her we were friends. She then proceeded to go on about what Caleb expected out of his friends and how she’d been one for years. She rubbed it in that they knew each other better than anyone else, then proceeded to tell me he’s always her go-to guy. I know she was trying to put me off. It worked. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with people like her and unfortunately that’s who Caleb surrounds himself with.
Rather than break down again for an added reason, I decided to leave. There’s no way I was going to let Caleb meet my parents when I already knew what they say about him. We have the same type of guys where I’m from. They’d tell me he’s a dreamer with nothing solid going for his future. They’d say he’d hold me back, and that they’d want better for their grandchild.
My parents are compassionate people, but they get a little overbearing when it comes to me. There’s no way they’d appreciate him wanting to be a part of our child’s life. They bring in legal documents and want custody cases, which is some ways is smart, but other ways it’s mean. I was a fool to think this would work out.
My father comes to pick me up when I call, and if my mind isn’t already made up, he makes sure to seal the deal.
“Dad, I know you’re upset with me. I’m upset with myself.”
“You have no idea how I feel right now, Kadence. I just can’t believe you’d make such poor decisions.”
He’s right. I slept with a stranger and got knocked up. There’s no way to sugar coat it.
“Do you even have feelings for this guy?”
I shrug and stare out the opposite window. “I don’t know him that well. He’s sweet and funny.”
“That doesn’t make him marriage material.”
“Who said anything about marriage?”
My father whips the car into a parking spot and stops. “Do you think your actions won’t affect our lives?”
Crossing my arms, I still refuse to look in his direction. “It’s not about you. It’s about me.”
“How will you support the child?”
“I figured you and mom would help until I finished school.”
“Law school is no longer an option. Trust me. There’s no way you can study and have a baby, not to mention you’re going to have to support the child yourself.”
I’m weeping as he says it. I get that he’s angry, but he’s basically leaving me no options. “Please don’t make me do this. I’ll figure it out. I’ll be a paralegal.”
“All the time and money invested in your future and you’re going to give up and be a paralegal?”
The tears are making my eyes sting. At this point no makeup remains. I can’t remember ever crying this much in my life. I’m not an emotional person. I’m a giver, not a taker. I treat others as I would want them to treat me. Right now I feel like everything my parents raised me to believe is being thrown out the window. They’re overreacting and being hypocrites. “You just expect me to have an abortion and forget it ever happened?”
“Yeah. I do. Kadence, it’s a simple procedure. You’ll be fine. You’ll go to school in the fall and get through it.”
“This isn’t some infection I can treat. There’s a baby growing inside of me.” I quickly pull my phone from my purse and go to the photograph of what my developing child looks like right now. “This is what you want me to get rid of, like trash? Look at the picture, Dad. It’s not some blob. There’s a living human being growing inside of me, and he or she may not have been created through a loving relationship, but it was an unforgettable moment in my life I’ll never forget. The father may not be up to your standards, but I have no doubt he’ll step up and be there to support me.”
“You’re so naïve. Men who pick up women and sleep with them don’t have a moral compass. He’s only saying what you want to hear.”
He’s the second person to tell me that.
“No. You’re wrong. Caleb isn’t like that. In fact, the Wallace family owns several businesses on the island. They’re close and have a good dynamic.”
“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”
He’s right. He’s absolutely right.
“It’s my body.”
“You’re right. It’s your body, but I pay the bills. It’s also your future I’m looking out for. I’m telling you right now, if you choose to have this child I can’t support you. I won’t let you throw away everything you’ve worked so hard to have.”
“So get rid of the baby, or be on my own?”
We pull up to the house we’re renting and my dad shuts off the ignition and gets out. He doesn’t answer me. I guess he doesn’t have to. His decision is made.
Mom comes out to the car when she notices I haven’t come back inside. She’s been crying, and from the looks of her face I’d say it’s more than I have. She sits in the driver’s side of the car and raises a tissue to her eyes. “Your dad said you talked.”
“If that’s what you call it. He basically said I have to kill me baby.”
“He would never use those terms, Kadence. You need to understand how he feels. It’s like you’re willing to throw your future down the drain. You don’t even have the father’s support.”
“How do you know?”
“How much can the boy support you, especially from here. You told us you weren’t in a relationship to start. The whole situation is bad for a baby to be brought into the world. There’s no way you can keep up with your studies. Law school isn’t like regular college. You can’t take your time and limit classes. It’s three years of solid hard work, long cases, internships, and barely any sleep. How can you do that with a child?”
“I thought you’d help me.”
“Kadence, your father and I still work. We don’t have the liberty of retiring yet.”
“Mom, please don’t say I have to do this. Please don’t make me choose abortion.”
“You don’t have to have an abortion. There are plenty of families who can’t have children.”
“Adoption? You want me to carry my child and then give it to a stranger?”
She almost snickers. “Well you trusted a stranger to make the child.”
That’s the last straw for me. I get what they’re saying. I know it’s breaking my mom’s heart especially, but I’m not willing to give up. I have to keep fighting, even if it’s all alone. Before getting out of the car, I turn all my attention to my mother, looking her in the eyes to make sure she’s really listening to me. “I’m not giving up my baby. Life throws us curveballs. I’ll put law school on hold.”
“You and I both know that’s probably not going to happen. You’re giving up so much.” She starts to bawl. “I can’t do this. You’re father is so upset he wants to head home. He’s arranging a ride to Salisbury airport where he’ll take a flight home. It’s probably for the best. You and I can sit down and figure this out.”
“Are you even listening to me?”
“You’re being irrational, Kadence. This isn’t something you can decide overnight.”
“I’ve known for weeks, Mom. Weeks. I’ve had plenty of time to think about this.”
“You need to calm down. Don’t raise your voice at me.”
“Sorry, but you’re not hearing me. It’s my body, my baby, and you two can’t force me to make this kind of decision.”
“Then I’m afraid we’re going to agree to disagree.”
Dad is gone by morning. I spent most of the night on the deck, listening to them argue and knowing I’m the reason. Caleb tries to call me a dozen times. I know he thinks he can fix this, but it’s not true. Nothing can fix what I’ve done and how it will change my future.
Mom doesn’t speak to me for two days. We go to the beach in silence, eat in silence, and even shop within conversation. Whenever we’re in public she scopes out the people around us, as if she’s going to somehow point out Caleb. As much as I find it entertaining, my heart aches for leading him on. His phone calls are starting to taper off, and I know eventually they’ll stop altogether.
Dad shows up the following weekend, and after a heated discussion, Mom decides to go home, leaving me at the beach house alone to sulk in my depressed state.
That first night alone I’m a mess. More than anything, I’m lost. It doesn’t help that neither of my parents are on speaking terms. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so deprived. They’re doing this so I do what they want, and I’m not going to allow it. I’m determined to fight until they realize this is my choice.
I’ve been ordering delivery so I didn’t have to go out and risk seeing Caleb, but it’s getting old. Avoiding the diner, I find some food trucks and hope to grab something fast I can take with me. I no sooner walk up to the window when I spot the same girl that said those things to me. Her name is Evie, and she reminds me of Davina. She smiles when she sees me. “What can I get ya?”
“I’ll have the chicken sandwich with the boardwalk fries and a lemonade.”
I hand her a twenty and take my drink after she makes it. Then I walk over to where other people are waiting for their food. The kayak place is across the street, but there’s no one over there. Evie comes out to deliver my food. She gives me a once over. “Seen Caleb lately?”
“No.”
“Coop told me what happened. You really knocked up?”
“Yep.”
“How do you know it’s Caleb’s kid?”
“He’s the only person I’ve been with. Trust me, I know, not that it matters. I don’t expect anything from him.”
“Well that’s a shame, because Caleb would stand by you. He’s good with kids. You should see him with the little ones in his family.”
All of a sudden I’ve lost my appetite. “Didn’t you tell me I couldn’t count on him?”
“I say a lot of shit when I’m drunk.”
“I have to go,” I say while grabbing the food I’m not going to eat and heading back to my parent’s car. My stomach turns as Evie watches me pull away. Caleb told his brother I was pregnant. Maybe he’s told his whole family. If he wasn’t going to be a part of the child’s life, why would he announce it to everyone?”
My hands are shaking when I call his number. Expecting him to be angry, he picks up on the second ring. “Please tell me you’re still on the island.”
“I am. My parents left, but I’m here.”
“I need to see you. You’re wrong about me, Kadence. I can’t get you out of my mind. Let me come see you. Please.”
I give him the address where I’m staying. Maybe I’m being desperate and stupid. Maybe this will only make matters worse, but at this point I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of being alone. I’m sick of feeling like everyone in the world hates me.