Loran

 

 

 

I'm holding my breath almost the entire time from when I close the door behind my brother until the moment I see his car driving away.

I'm standing in the doorway, my eyes glued on the back of his car as it becomes smaller in the distance, and I don't move until he's completely out of my sight. Even then, I need a few more moments before I can turn around and walk back inside. I move slowly and deliberately, unsure what to make of what just happened.

Ruby, my toy, my captive, is standing in the living room, shaken from the events, but standing tall and strong, the leash dangling down between her breasts as she looks up at me. She looks scared and proud at the same time, a blend of emotions that I've never seen on anyone's face before.

"I'm sorry for that," I say, knowing that it's not exactly the right thing to say at this moment.

But what would be the right thing? I can't even fathom what just happened. I can't believe that my brother followed me home, and it bothers the hell out of me that I don't know why he did it in the first place. Was he planning to harm me? We didn't part on good terms this afternoon. He kept yelling threats at me, and I walked out on him. I ended our conversation rather abruptly, and maybe he just followed me here to finish talking.

I'm shocked at the thought, but there's also a chance that he had an entirely different motivation. We never did get along, but unlike him, I've never considered physically harming him.

Or maybe he just came here because he was sure he‘d find some dirt on me. It may have been stupid of me to be so defensive every time he asked me questions about my current life, whereabouts, relationships. I have been rather absent, for obvious reasons, and he's not the only one who noticed. I've ignored his calls the past two weeks, and when he tried to reach me at my office, he was told that I wasn’t scheduled to be in. It‘s the fucking privilege of being the boss to plan your own schedule, but he was suspicious, poking and probing around to uncover what I'd been up to, in which one of my houses I was currently staying.

And I was too preoccupied with Ruby to notice his car was following me when I left the city. What an idiot I was.

Seeing her run up the stairs, screaming for help, that was just what he needed for validation to make his threats real.

But that's not what happened.

Something changed Ruby's mind, and I have to find out what that was.

"You're sorry for what?" she asks, crossing her arms in front her chest as she leans against the back of one of my sofas. It's a stance I've never seen her take before. Powerful and in control. We're alone again, but she knows the tables have turned. Despite what she told him, my brother won't get off my back if I continue behaving the way I have been for the past few weeks. He'll be back, and maybe next time he won't be alone. If that happens, it will be up to her to decide how things end for me. If I ever let it get that far.

I shrug. "I don't even know where to start."

"I just saved your ass," she says. "How about a little thank you for starters?"

She's smiling, a cheeky smile that's characteristic of a brat. I knew she had that in her.

I walk toward her, noticing that she's shaking, even though she's trying very hard to hide it from me. She's breathing heavily, her shoulders rising and falling when I place my hands on them to calm her down. She does relax under my touch, but the tension of the moment is still there.

"Why did you do that?" I ask. "Why didn't you rat me out? You know my brother would have been all too happy to get you out of here and-"

"And put you behind bars," she completes my sentence. "Yes, I kind of sensed that."

"So? Why didn't you take the chance?"

The green of her eyes are dancing like a forest moving in the wind. Her head tilts to the side, a sassy smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

"I wanted to," she says. "That's why I ran upstairs, that's why I yelled as I was trying to get away from you."

"I know," I retort. "I thought I had lost you."

She nods. "Yes, I thought that, too."

"What changed?"

Ruby lowers her eyes, a somber shadow falling over her face as if she's remembering a sad memory.

"A lot has changed, Loran," she says. My chest tightens when my name escapes her lips. It's always been that one last piece of information that has kept us apart, that one little detail about myself I've never been willing to share, despite sharing so many other things with her. Now that she has that, too, I feel as if there is no longer a way out for me. The power dynamic between us has changed, and she's the one in charge now. 

I don't know how I feel about that.

I stroke along her upper arms, my eyes gracing her body, a body I've become so familiar with, yet I feel as if I'm discovering it all anew.

Her eyes wander up to mine, and the expression on her face has changed to one of strong determination.

"I took a leap of faith for us," she says. "Don't you think it's time for you to do the same?"

I nod. "You're right."

She sighs when I let go of her, her eyes following me as I pace around the living room, rubbing at my temples, consumed with heavy and confusing thoughts.

I can't go on like this. I know I can't.

She knows that, too, but I know she's referring to more than that I'm busted.

I could just let her go. I could give her her things back, remove everything connecting her to me, strip her of the things I've done to her, drive her back home to the city, so she can have her her old life back. I could pay her a substantial amount of money to keep her mouth shut, the same amount she would have received if she'd actually completed the assignment with her client. Or more.

That would be the simple and most obvious solution to all of this.

Problem is, I don't want that.

I don't want to let her go.